My Kind Of Country: The Complete Series

by Michelle Thomas

  “You’re honestly going to tell me that it’s pure coincidence that you came back here and found, of all people, Jay’s ex-fiancée?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself. Those kinds of vindictive games are your forte, not mine.” His words were laced with venom, yet he continued. “I came back here because it’s the only place I’d felt truly close to you, I won’t lie about that. Admit it, Liz. Even in Nashville, you and I weren’t heading in the same direction. Would we have lasted? As much as I’d love to say we would have, I guess I’ll never know, right? You wrecked my whole world, and if you need to take some sort of enjoyment in that, now’s your chance.”

  “I never meant—” Liz stammered. “I mean, I didn’t want—”

  “Jay offered you a better gig, I get it. I’m a one-hit wonder in a sea of a million country music artists just waiting for their shot. He, on the other hand, is an executive on the other side of the desk. I’ll bet he promised you the world, didn’t he? Good luck with that, because I’ve got to tell you something. I know how badly he hurt Katie, and I really hope I’m wrong in saying you’re up next. You had the world, and it was with me. No glitz, no empty promises. Just me. But, I’ll tell you, I was devoted to you and never would have done what you did to me.”

  “I know you wouldn’t.” For the first time, Liz looked ashamed, pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear. “I made a mistake.”

  “Damn right you did.” His voice had taken on a defeated whisper. He didn’t dare move, but suddenly he felt almost tired, deflated.

  “I made a mistake,” she said again, this time looking at him squarely. “I should have never left you, Chad.”

  Whatever he’d expected her to say in response, it wasn’t that. His brow arched high, a silent plea for clarification. No words formed on his tongue. Instead, he watched her take her first tentative step toward him, followed by a few more confident ones, closing the gap between them.

  “I’ve missed you...the way we were...” Liz’s voice floated to him, greeting his ears in a breathy song he’d longed to hear for countless weeks. Now, as she spoke those words, Chad stepped away from her. She persisted, coming toward him again, and he relented, letting his body and his mind entwine itself around their meaning.

  “You can’t just—”

  Liz held her finger gently against Chad’s lips, silencing him. Her eyes gleamed, full of mischief. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  As she whispered the words, he felt the heated caress of her breath on his mouth. “You don’t know what you did to me.” His voice cracked, their closeness overwhelming him. He felt the electricity between them as her fingertips grazed the back of his hands, edging them from his pockets. Her fingers gently entangled with his, making him swallow the lump in his throat again.

  “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

  “Lizzy, I can’t—”

  “I love it when you call me that,” she smiled crookedly, leaning in slowly to kiss along the edge of his jaw. When she brought her face up to meet his, her eyelashes batted softly against his cheek, and he should have pushed her away from him. He should have stepped away from her, distancing himself from the spell she had on him. Hell, he should have run.

  Instead, he allowed her to get too close, allowed her lips to touch his in a way that his body not only remembered but instinctively reacted to, and he gave in. He kissed her just as she kissed him, in a feverish whirlwind of emotions pouring from his every pore without conscious thought or effort. When his mind took over, however, Chad gasped against her lips, squeezing her hands clasped within his, and he pulled back abruptly.

  “I can’t do this, Liz.” His voice was soft, but confident.

  “It’s okay—”

  “No. I have to find Katie. I told you, I’m going to fix this.” He leaned his forehead against hers, the length of his body still pressed to hers.

  “But I said—”

  “I know what you said, and I’m still in love with Katie.” His eyes met hers, and he thought he saw a flicker of understanding resonate within them.

  “She’s a lucky girl,” she announced, a sad smile crossing her face.

  Chad leaned down, pressing his lips to hers again, this time more gently, a gesture of parting ways. Liz reciprocated, and thankfully didn’t push for more. It was a sign that she understood, that she realized their time together was now only in the past.

  In the silence of the apartment, it should have been easy to pinpoint the noise coming from the hallway, but by the time the two of them comprehended what they were actually hearing, it was too late. The apartment door swung open wide, and Katie was still fiddling with the key in her hand, obviously surprised to find the apartment unlocked. It was no match, however, for the shock etched on her face when she came face to face with Chad and Liz, hands entwined, bodies pressed together in what could easily be construed as a lovers’ embrace. She stood there, dumbfounded, her face displaying first incomprehension, disbelief, and then a look Chad wouldn’t have been able to read if he hadn’t known her the way he did.

  Heartbreak outlined her eyes. If Chad hated Jay for hurting her, then he despised himself for the pain he was causing her now.

  “Katie, it’s not—”

  Her eyes narrowed, and the seething betrayal that stared back at him made him stop talking abruptly. Instead, he stepped away from Liz, and took a hesitant step toward the doorway. She still hadn’t moved, casting glances back and forth between the two of them as though trying to decide which to loathe more.

  “Katie...” he tried again. This time, her eyes met his. She held his stare for what seemed like ages, the air becoming thick with his own fear. As though coming to some sort of conclusion, she gave him a curt nod.

  “Goodbye, Chad.”

  “Katie, please...”

  “Don’t!” She held up her hands, her fingers moving to point at him in warning. “Don’t you dare!” She held his gaze for another second, just long enough for him to realize that tears were welling up in her eyes—long enough for him to understand that the last thing she wanted him to do was follow her—and then she was gone.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  KATIE

  She had believed him. Maybe not initially, but doubt had infested itself into her mind and, for a moment, Katie actually thought that maybe she’d been wrong about Chad and his feelings for her.

  In her truck, during the drive to the apartment, she’d convinced herself that she had put what little trust she had left into the wrong side of the story, and that she never should have let herself get caught up in the web Liz and Jay had spun. She’d disliked Liz from the moment she met her—from the moment Chad had mentioned her, if she was being honest—but still, Katie had somehow let that woman’s insinuations overshadow her own judgment.

  At least, that’s what she’d convinced herself of.

  That all changed, however, when Katie stuck her key in the door, realized it was actually unlocked, and confusedly opened it, knowing full well the doorman in the lobby had just explained that Jay had left less than a half hour ago. She’d intended to wait a little bit to see if he returned before she had to make her way back to get Mason off the school bus. It was, after all, still her apartment, and the fact that the doorman still greeted her on a first name basis made Katie want to spend at least a little bit of time in the apartment she missed so much.

  Her mind had been quiet in that moment, content to sit in silence and reflect on everything that had gone on while she awaited Jay’s return.

  So, when she pushed open the door and came face to face with the tender embrace between Chad and Liz, the synapses in her brain struggled to catch up. Confusion morphed into bewilderment, bewilderment into shock, and then shock into a vicious sense of understanding.

  Damn you, Chad Kirkwood, she thought. Damn you all to hell. A dark shadow of betrayal veiled her mind, shutting down her ability to feel anything at all, and that darkness must have made its way into her eyes because she’d seen the way Chad
responded to it as well. He knew there was no getting out of it this time.

  She’d heard the saying before: Fool me once, shame on you. But fool me twice...

  She wasn’t about to let that happen.

  There would be no more Chad Kirkwood in her life. Maybe he and Liz’s rekindled romance would last this time. Frankly, she didn’t care as long as he stayed the hell away from her and Mason. The thought nagged at the edge of her racing thoughts that Jay was about to know how she’d felt when he left her without warning. It momentarily sickened her that she felt such a rush of satisfaction at that thought.

  What kind of monster had her broken heart and tribulations turned her into? The Katie she’d been a few years ago never would have wished ill upon someone, especially not on someone she’d loved.

  Damn you, Chad Kirkwood. And Jay. And Liz. Damn all of you!

  She climbed back into her truck and banged her palms against the steering wheel. Pain shot through her hands with the impact, making the tears finally spill over her eyelids as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the warm vinyl of the wheel. There, at least her body and her heart were hurting equally.

  ***

  The house somehow seemed emptier now. For a few months, it had only been her and Mason who’d lived there, but Katie didn’t remember the space within those walls ever being so vacant and void of...anything. Great, Chad had ruined that for her as well. She wondered if Mason felt the same way as he stumbled along throughout dinner and then the rest of the evening, uttering very few words and interacting with her as little as possible. It seemed he was trapped inside his own mind, just as she was.

  Katie tucked him into bed, hesitating once after the normal bedtime routine, offering up a moment for her son to question her about what was really going on. She couldn’t bring herself to mention it first, but she knew how perceptive and smart Mason was; he would undoubtedly have put two and two together by now.

  However, silence loomed between them, and Katie chose to give him a half-hearted smile and a gentle kiss on the side of his face. When he simply rolled away from her and pulled his blankets up tighter, her stomach tightened. All she could hope was that he didn’t blame her for this whole mess as much as she was blaming herself.

  She left his bedroom door open a crack in case he needed her, but she was confident that sleep wouldn’t give her any reprieve from the pieces of her life she felt were scattered irreparably around her. It took only a few moments of standing in the middle of the living room, her expression as blank as her mind, to realize she didn’t know what to do next. She padded throughout the house barefoot, seeking out something—anything—to keep her from the thoughts she didn’t want to think about and the emotions she didn’t want to feel.

  Unfortunately, she’d been too efficient throughout the day, tidying the kitchen after each meal and picking up after Mason once he’d left for school. She thought of doing a load of Mason’s laundry now instead of waiting until the weekend, but she would have had to tiptoe back into his room to get it.

  So, she did the only thing left to do. She poured a half glass of wine and slipped out the door to the porch, leaving the window of the screen door open so she could hear Mason if he called.

  Two sips of wine later and a few minutes of watching the moths bounce persistently off the outdoor light, Katie knew she would find no solace there. Silence ceased to exist in the country thanks to the serenading crickets and the sporadic howls of the coyotes in the distance. Even the animals in the barn and other outbuildings did their best to fill in the quietness, shifting their weight on the crisp straw underfoot with the occasional whinny or snort of contentment.

  But the sounds of the outdoors tonight did little to aid Katie in battling the war that raged on in her mind. She sought clarity, a sense of strength that she would move past this turmoil and become stronger because of it. She, however, realized she wasn’t going to find that strength there, perched on the porch steps just as she and Chad had done so many nights before. She silently chastised herself for the fleeting desire that fluttered within her for him to appear there, to her right, sitting in the spot she’d become so accustomed to seeing him in, ready to chatter on about the day’s events over coffee or iced tea.

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to happen, and it sure as hell wasn’t coffee she was drinking now. Instead, she sat there alone with nothing but a glass of cheap wine to console her, with no one to thank for that except Chad Kirkwood.

  And herself. She’d believed him, despite knowing from the beginning that he was lying through his teeth about who he was. She’d known, and that made this just as much her fault as it was his.

  That didn’t change how much she wanted this to all be some kind of cruel joke, though. She wanted so badly to turn back time and still know him to be the Chad she’d believed he was the night they’d had the bonfire. The night she’d known clearly in her own mind that she wanted to be with him. The night she’d kissed him.

  Without thinking, Katie rose from the porch steps and made her way across the gravel driveway and into the grass, the blades cool under her bare feet. Toting her wine glass in one hand, she used her other to toss sticks of kindling onto what was left of the makeshift firepit Chad had constructed not so long ago.

  With only the harsh lighting from the outdoor fixture to work with, she used the stream of its faint glow to fumble around and get the smallest flicker of a flame to ignite. It took a few tries—she wasn’t nearly as good at it as Chad had been—but eventually a little fire was blazing brightly in the pit, the heat from it warming her flushed cheeks. There, if that’s what it took to get a moment of clarity, to feel like she had even an inkling of a clue what to do next, then she’d sit out there and stare into the dancing oranges and yellows until she found the answers she needed.

  The smell of smoke invaded her senses as the minutes rolled by. She stared into the flames, mesmerized by each flicker she saw and each crackle and snap she heard. So enthralled by the light show before her, Katie failed to hear him until he spoke to her, his voice loud and alarming in the calmness of the night.

  “Mom?”

  Startled by the sudden noise, she sprang up from her seat, turning to face him. “Mason! Honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” Her hand rose to her throat, convinced her heart was pounding visibly out of her chest. Thank goodness she had finished off her glass of wine, otherwise she’d have been wearing it.

  “I can’t sleep.” He took a step toward her, and Katie took in his wide eyes and wrinkled pajamas. He’d tugged along the fleece blanket that usually stayed folded at the foot of his bed, and Cash was stationed loyally beside him. The reflection of the flames within his uncertain eyes gave him the look of a boy who was pouting, but she didn’t mind. Taking her seat once again, she gestured him to come closer.

  “That makes two of us, Mr. Mase. Come sit down.” He was getting so big, but that didn’t stop either of them from attempting to curl up together on the chair. His legs, clad in Spiderman pajamas, might have been hanging almost to the ground, but Katie held him against her on her lap, comforted by the closeness.

  “Chad’s gone for good, isn’t he?” His voice was riddled with apprehension, and Katie’s throat constricted as she recognized the tone of sadness in which he’d uttered the question.

  “Yeah, he is. I’m sorry, baby.” She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the vivid colors of the fire, convinced she could block out her emotions the same way.

  “I liked him, Mom.”

  She nodded against his head, tucked securely under her chin. “Me too.”

  “He left, just like Dad did.” His words were mumbled, and Katie wondered if he’d meant to say them to her.

  “Nah, Mason. It’s different, but it’s okay. We’re going to be okay.” Her voice cracked, and she despised herself for it. There was no time for her to hurt when her son was obviously hurting just as badly. She hugged him tighter against her.

  “Is it because of my birthday
party?”

  “No, just a misunderstanding. You don’t need to worry.”

  “It’s because of her, isn’t it? Liz?”

  The sound of her name coming from Mason’s innocent voice made Katie’s skin crawl. “There’s just a lot going on, baby. It’s okay, though.”

  “I should’ve never let Dad bring her. He asked me if he could. I should’ve said no.”

  Katie sighed. “It’s okay. You did the right thing.”

  “I messed up.” Mason lifted his head to meet her gaze, revealing his sad eyes brimmed with glistening tears that sparkled in the firelight. “If I’d said she couldn’t come to my party, Chad would still be here and you’d still be happy.”

  It was Katie’s turn to feel the tears welling up, threatening to streak down her cheeks. “Oh, Mason, no. None of this is your fault. I promise. I swear it.” She pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around him despite the fact he couldn’t possibly be any closer to her. Guilt ripped through her when she felt his little body convulse silently with each sob. She shook her head, her own tears splashing one by one into Mason’s hair. In a tangle of limbs, tears, and whispered apologies, Katie made a silent vow to her son.

  Never again, she swore. From now on, I’ll do what’s best for you and only you, Mase. You’ve been through enough.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAD

  There would be no fixing his mistakes now. Hell, Katie no longer trusted him before seeing him with his arms around Liz, so be damned if there was anything resembling hope left for the two of them now. He’d left the apartment shortly after her, giving Katie a few minutes’ head start. She didn’t want to see him, he knew that, so he obliged, no matter how desperately he wanted to chase after her and plead with her to believe that nothing in this whole convoluted mess was what it seemed to be.

  The universe was conspiring against him, it had to be. Every time he vowed to do something to make things right, it made things considerably worse. The hole he was digging himself into was getting to the point of being too deep to get out of. There was an excellent chance that he was already too far in over his head, and the notion made his heart sink. Where would he be if, after everything that happened, he lost Katie?