My Kind Of Country: The Complete Series

by Michelle Thomas

  Through the locked entry doors, she stared back at him, her face tear-streaked and etched with—what was that? Sadness? Anger?

  He pushed the door open and didn’t hesitate to envelope her in his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. He could feel each sob as it wracked her body, shuddering and heaving as the overwhelming emotions flowed freely from within her. With each tender stroke of her hair, he focused on trying to calm her, whispering soothing promises that it would all be okay and that she was going to be fine now.

  People craned their necks and sent questioning stares in their direction as they stood in the middle of the sidewalk, but he made no gesture to hide their embrace—the bystanders could walk around them. His mind raced rampantly with a series of potential conclusions his mind was coming to.

  “It’s okay, Katie,” he whispered against her ear. “You’re okay now.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her voice was muffled and garbled with each sob. “I had nowhere else to go.”

  He pulled away just enough to peer down into her eyes, his thumb reaching to wipe away a stray tear that slid down her cheek. “There is nowhere else in this world I would want you to be.” He pointed toward the door that had clicked shut behind him, and she nodded at his unspoken invite. Chad let his hand cup hers and he led her inside after pressing the access code and hearing the door click open again.

  “You must be freezing being only in your socks on that concrete.”

  He chuckled as he led her up the stairs slowly. “Leave it to you to show up here with tears staining your cheeks and still be worried about whether or not I’m cold.” He pushed the door open to his apartment and stepped aside, allowing her to enter first.

  The sunlight was beginning to streak in golden hues through the window, indicating it was later in the afternoon than he expected. Darkness would fall soon, and he silently wondered what kind of inventory he had to make up a bed on the couch.

  Katie seemed out of place, standing awkwardly near the door, obviously unsure what to do or say next. She wrung her hands together, not meeting his eyes.

  Chad wondered if she was second guessing her decision to come there, and the thought terrified him.

  “You don’t need to explain yourself. At least, not right now.” He offered her a shy smile, hoping to put her mind at ease. When her shoulders lowered, he felt a swell of pride at knowing he’d succeeded, albeit remotely. “I’ll tell you what. The bathroom is right in there.” He pointed to a partially closed door just off the other side of the open-concept living area. “You go ahead and run a hot shower. My bedroom is attached to it, so go ahead and grab a shirt or something if you would prefer to be a little more comfortable. While you do that, I’ll make something to drink and we can talk about this when you’re ready. If you want, I mean.”

  She gave him a sad smile. “You sound nervous, Chad.”

  “I guess I’m just not sure what’s really going on here. So, yeah, I suppose I am a little nervous.” He ran a hand through his hair.

  She nodded, uncertainty flashing once again in her eyes. “Fair enough. That makes two of us, then.”

  He watched her tuck her shoes beside the apartment door and disappear into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. As the door clicked softly shut, he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

  What the hell had happened? There’d been no word from her in two long days, and now she showed up at his apartment with a tear-stained face and a defeated spirit? It couldn’t be a coincidence that he’d had the impromptu visit from Jay earlier.

  A glimmer of hope ignited inside him—hope that she’d actually wanted to come to him; hope that she’d finally admitted her true feelings to Jay—and to herself—and that she was there because she wanted to be, not just because he was the only other person she knew in the city.

  He busied himself setting up the kettle to boil, trying to distract himself from the thought. Unfortunately, it only filled a few minutes of his time, and his mind wandered to the other side of the bathroom door when he heard the shower begin to run. The mental image of Katie standing under the steady spray as steam floated in a hazy cloud around her bare skin caused his pulse to quicken, but it was promptly doused by the thought that the hot water might also be covering up a thin line of tears spilling from her eyes as well.

  Both ideas made him want to go to her, but for entirely different reasons.

  He flinched, startled at the sound of the kettle clicking off, a rolling steam dissipating into the air above the spout. He shook his head at his own foolishness, digging through the cupboards in search of the box of tea he knew was in there somewhere.

  He preferred coffee, but his mother had instilled in him a desire for chamomile tea when things got tough, despite the chiding remarks his father had made repeatedly about it. Somehow, even decades later, the scent of chamomile settled his nerves and eased his rigid posture during times of tension and stress. It was just one more thing his father had been wrong about, as far as he was concerned.

  The door creaked behind him and Chad turned, biting the inside of his lip as he took in the sight of Katie, her eyes uncertain and nervous, dressed in one of his t-shirts, her hair wet and brushed away from her face, leaving the shoulders of the shirt darker with the dampness.

  “I hope it’s okay.” She pulled at the hem of the shirt. “I just grabbed the first one I saw when I opened the drawer.”

  He nodded, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. The shirt was oversized on her small frame, hanging to just above the small frayed rip in the knee of her jeans. It was mind blowing that even with a baggy t-shirt, bootcut jeans. and no makeup, she still looked beautiful to him. “Of course,” was all he could manage.

  He turned back to the countertop, pulling two burgundy mugs from the cupboard above and tossing tea bags into both of them. Steam billowed upward again as he poured hot water into them, and he silently cursed himself for having his own steam-filled, inappropriate thoughts again. “Here, this will make you feel better.” He offered the mug to her, and watched her eyebrow arch.

  “No chance you’ve got anything a little stronger?”

  Chad gave her a crooked smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s probably better to stay sober at a time like this.”

  She reached for the cup, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “You’re probably right.”

  He didn’t want to push or pry, but also had no idea how to start off the conversation to get the answers he wanted. Instead, Chad chose to stay leaning against the counter, his own mug of tea grasped tightly in his hands despite the scalding heat seeping through the ceramic into his palms. His mother would be proud that he at least had the foresight to know this was going to be one of those times when tension would run high and chamomile would be needed. He just hoped it would help him remain calm now, just as it had in the past.

  “I didn’t expect your place to look like this.” Katie’s voice reached out to him from across the room and he followed the sound, watching her walk aimlessly around the living room, her gaze flitting from the magazines beside the armchair to the scattered sheet music and other pages littering the coffee table. When her eyes honed in on the loose papers, realization washed over him and he crossed the room, holding his breath as he went. “Katie—”

  She bent forward and retrieved one of the papers partially buried in the pile, a series of words scribbled and crossed out in Chad’s own handwriting. “What is this?” Her eyes never left the paper, darting from left to right as she took in the phrases scrawled on it.

  Chad reached for it, but she quickly pulled it farther away, and he sighed in surrender.

  “My name is on the top of this paper.” She kept it far enough away that he couldn’t reach it but turned it around as though to prove what she was seeing. “You wrote a song about me?”

  He gave her a sheepish nod. “I would have told you eventually.”

  “Were you planning to release it?”

  He wasn
’t sure if he was getting scolded, or if she was hopeful that he would. “Probably not. I don’t know. I never would’ve done that without your permission, though.”

  “But you have recorded it.”

  Chad crinkled his forehead suspiciously. “How do you know that?”

  She held the paper up as though it were proof. “Because this is how your manager knew my name. He’s heard this song. Am I right?”

  He sighed again, shaking his head at her relentlessness. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

  A hint of a smile showed at the corner of her mouth, and Katie set the page back on the table between them. “So, let me get this straight. You wrote a song about me, yet you never planned to see me again?”

  Chad shrugged in response, moving some of the papers out of the way so he could set his mug of tea down. “Let me get this straight. You showed up here after I kissed you, after I’ve told you I still love you, after I haven’t heard from you since that kiss, and you’re the one standing here trying to decipher how I feel about you? I think it should be the other way around, don’t you?” He let his smirk shine through as he lowered himself onto the couch, reaching out to pat the cushion beside him.

  She sat down, albeit reluctantly. He watched as her eyes roamed the room in search of another spot to sit, a caged animal seeking out possible escape routes.

  “We’ve got to talk, Katie.” He spoke softly, and she finally nestled into the other end of the couch, pulling her knees up in front of her as she cupped her hands around the mug.

  “I know we do. It’s hard, though. There’s so much that has gone unsaid, and yet I have no idea what to say now.”

  Her eyes seemed wider, and Chad recognized it as fear. Of what? It couldn’t possibly be him, could it?

  “How about you start by telling me how you ended up here on my doorstep?”

  “You mean, the way you told me everything when you showed up on mine?” She snickered, but the words cut through him. Her smirk slowing faded when she saw him lower his gaze. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That was uncalled for.”

  He took a sip from his mug and shook his head. “You’re cruel.” He glanced up at her sadly, waving his hand. “It’s okay. You’re cruel, but right, yet again.”

  It was her turn to bring her mug to her lips to fill the silence. “Jay told me to come here.”

  Chad’s forehead wrinkled in disbelief. “I find that kind of hard to believe. Especially since he visited me at the record label’s office not even a few days after I kissed you.”

  Her eyes became round. “He did? But—he doesn’t know that you—that we—”

  “That we kissed?” He bit his lip, suppressing his amusement that she couldn’t admit it out loud. “I didn’t figure he did, or else I probably wouldn’t have just walked out of there with only an assertive request to back away from you and Mason.”

  “He had no right—”

  “Of course he did, Katie. He has every right. He’s feeling threatened, and rightly so. Wouldn’t you be, if the tables were turned?” He stopped, giving her a chance to respond. When she nodded weakly, he continued. “Exactly. No one wants to sit back and watch the one they love be in love with someone else.”

  Katie sat straighter, eyeing him cautiously. “You sound pretty sure of yourself.”

  He reached out and set his mug on the coffee table, ignoring the loose papers underneath it. “Sure that you’re in love with me just as much as I’m in love with you? Yeah, I suppose I am pretty confident. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

  His statement hung between them, the air thick with tension and unease.

  “I don’t know what I want, Chad.”

  “Do you really not know, or are you just not letting yourself make such a decision because you’re afraid of what the consequences might be?” Chad held her gaze, fed up with dancing around the subject and giving Katie all the time in the world to figure it out. Fear was driving her indecisiveness, and her silence was a loud confirmation that he was, in fact, right. “I’ve got some bad news for you, Katie. Either way—him, me, or someone else entirely—there are consequences. It doesn’t matter what the decision is, there will always be consequences on both sides. It’s up to you to decide which ones are worth it, though.”

  She exhaled loudly and stared firmly at the mug squeezed between her hands.

  It occurred to Chad that her fingertips must be burning by now, but he didn’t voice his concern. Whatever words were uttered between them next, they would be from her.

  “Jay told me—”

  “Katie!” His voice was louder than expected, and he immediately felt guilty when he saw her wince. His hands jutted out as though to stop her from moving, stopping in mid air between them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but, damn it, aren’t you tired of doing what’s right for everyone else? Especially when it’s hurting you so damn much?”

  “Somehow, I feel that’s what Jay thinks he’s doing, too.”

  “You both are. But you’re both so blinded by what you think you should be doing that you can’t see that you’re doing more damage than good. You’re beating a dead horse.”

  “God, I hate that saying.”

  “I do, too. I hate watching it happen even more.”

  Katie’s head tipped forward in a slight nod, and she chewed her bottom lip. “So...what are you suggesting I do, then?”

  A faint, tired chuckle passed his lips. “Katie, I’m not suggesting a damn thing to you. I’m just begging you—if you’re going to make a decision—if you’re going to do something—for the love of all that is holy, please let it be something you’re doing because you want to. No more trying to please everyone else. That’s all I ask.”

  She stared at him, still as a statue. Then, hesitantly, Katie leaned sideways and set her mug down on the coffee table. As she turned to glance in his direction, Chad could tell her mind was reeling, an inner war raging within the confinements of her skull. She moved slowly, rising up on to her knees on the couch cushion, then crawling forward. Her hand slid gradually from the cushion to his knee, gently pushing his legs apart to allow herself to get closer to him. She eased herself between his knees, her arms on either side of him as she slid her body onto his lap.

  Chad’s breath caught in his throat, and he didn’t dare to breathe, his muscles rigid with apprehension. He let her move onto him without touching her, despite how badly he wanted to. It wasn’t worth the risk of scaring her off.

  Every movement, every breath he heard escape from her throat, was hesitant. “Are you okay?” His voice came out low and husky. He could hear a heartbeat pounding loudly, and he wasn’t sure if it was his or hers.

  She nodded, biting her bottom lip as her clouded eyes darted up to meet his. He couldn’t help but watch her, perched so timidly on his lap while her hands slowly slid up his chest to his neck, her fingertips tucking into the hair behind his head. He realized she was trembling, and he slid his hand to the small of her back in encouragement.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered.

  Perhaps she’d been waiting for permission of some sort, or perhaps she just made some personal decision on her own. Whatever it was, she lowered her mouth onto his, the heat of her lips and tongue mingling with his own, the fog of hesitation and uncertainty lifting as they discovered each other again. Her fingers clutched his hair tightly, causing a groan to come from deep within his throat, but it was muffled as she kissed him harder, and his hands instinctively gripped her hips, holding her to him. She was the first to pull away, her eyelashes fluttering against his skin as her face lingered closely to his.

  “You are exactly how I remember.” Katie’s voice was hoarse, and the thin smile she wore lit up her eyes. He hadn’t seen her eyes that full of life in months.

  “You’ve never kissed me like that. You’ve got nothing to compare it to.”

  She traced her fingertip under his ear, up across his cheek bone, sending a shiver through him. “That may be true, but I’ve done that a thou
sand times in my mind. I may not remember the exact kiss, but I remember the intensity—the attraction. That hasn’t changed in the slightest.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her jaw lightly, trailing his lips down the side of her neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you admit that.”

  Katie pushed herself off his lap and swung one leg around to straddle him, her eyes glinting as she let her hands roam across his shoulders. “I shouldn’t want you.”

  “But?” He slid his hand under the hem of the shirt she wore, letting his fingers caress up and down her spine.

  Katie lowered her face down beside his ear, kissing his ear lobe tenderly. “But I do.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing down the rush of emotion that could easily overtake him at the sound of her confession. Just the sight of her straddled over top of his knees, clad in his t-shirt, her mouth slightly swollen from kissing him with such fervor—it could all be his undoing. To hear her finally admit she wanted him, though—that was everything he’d ever wanted.

  “Finally...” He chuckled softly, turning to kiss her. He found her mouth again, and this time he gave in to his urge to put his hands on her. His arms curled around her under the baggy t-shirt, pushing her against him as his fingertips trailed from her lower back to her shoulder blades and back again. He felt her own fingertips dip under his shirt, the warm pads of her fingers causing him to shudder in desire as they grazed the sensitive skin just above the waist of his jeans.

  In one fluid movement, he had her lowered back onto the couch, and she stared up at him with clear eyes filled so full of desire he didn’t dare try to speak. Instead, he reached behind his head and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor.

  Katie’s eyes widened, and for a moment he wondered if he’d misread the signals. He stayed still, suspended above her with his arms on either side of her head, but she tentatively brought her hand up and ran a finger down his abdomen, a deep groan emanating from his throat at the sensation.

  “You’re beautiful,” she said in a hushed voice, not meeting his eyes, and Chad wondered if she meant to say it out loud. He swallowed hard again, still trying to calm himself despite the electricity of her fingertips on his skin threatening to consume him.