The Raven-Haired Rogue: A Novella

by John Zakour

  “Of course I do,” Alicia says.

  “We all do,” Tezza says.

  “It’s a rite of passage on Mars,” Maxxx adds.

  “Huh?” I say, trying not to sound nearly as confused as I am.

  “Earthlings know so little about us.” HAL50 sighs.

  Merinda glides over to me and takes my hand. “Zach, we on Mars have a huge cloned cattle industry. Martian steak is the finest on all the known planets.”

  That jars my memory. I once had a taste of Martian steak while I was working on a case for Ona Thompson, the richest woman on Earth. It’s a steak that only the top 1 percent can afford.

  “It is expensive,” I say. “I will give you that.” Actually, the steak does melt in your mouth and makes your taste buds dance and almost sing with joy, but I wasn’t going to admit that.

  “Our steak is so good because it is all hand raised and hand killed,” Merinda insists. “Each citizen of Mars must do the training and volunteer on the ranches two days a cycle.”

  “Which we all proudly do,” Alicia says.

  Tezza, Maxxx, and HAL50 all nod in agreement.

  Alicia touches her ear. “Good news, ma’am,” she tells Merinda. “SRIP has contacted me. He is ready to take off early. He can leave now.” Alicia looks at Merinda. “Is that OK, ma’am?” She turns her gaze to me. “Do you trust me now?”

  Well, I never totally trust anybody except for Electra, Carol, and HARV, but in this case, I did believe Alicia. While a good PI never totally eliminates a suspect without unwavering evidence of his or her innocence, I certainly had to drop Alicia down on my potential-killer list.

  “Yeah, I believe you,” I tell Alicia.

  Merinda puts a hand on my shoulder. “So, Zach, are you ready to head to Mars now?”

  I could question Maxxx, Tezza, and HAL50 here on Earth, where I had the home-field advantage. Thing is, I’m guessing they might be more open and more apt to slip up if I casually questioned and observed them on the way to Mars.

  “So we really can get to Mars in thirty hours and change?” I ask.

  “Yes, thanks to Mars’s advancement with the new ultra fusion propulsion systems, we can make the trip far faster than Earthlings ever dreamed,” Tezza says, beaming.

  HARV appears between Tezza and me. I can tell from the look on HARV’s face he’s about to go into what I can only describe as annoying professor mode. Normally, I am not a fan of being lectured to by HARV, but I figured this would be interesting, since I knew he was also going to lecture Tezza.

  “The engines are actually not much larger than the engines that power hovers and land-based vehicles, yet they are much more powerful. For the first half of the trip, we will accelerate to speeds that were only a sci-fi writer’s pipe dream as little as forty years ago. Once we reach the halfway point, the ship will slowly decelerate on its approach to Mars. Despite generating this massive amount of energy, the engines are shielded by force fields preventing them from killing their passengers. I could give more details, but I know those would be lost on most of you. I’m sure Zach is already confused,” HARV says in a dry, monotone voice.

  “True,” I say with a nod. “While I do enjoy driving my car, I don’t have much of an idea about how it works. I just push the on button and go.”

  “Yes.” HARV sighs. “In that respect, Zach is a typical human. He is so reliant on science but doesn’t really understand it all that well,” HARV pauses for a moment, “at least with the true sciences, those that use a lot of math. Zach is actually fairly knowledgeable in biology, because he knows where to hit people to do the most damage. But biology is a softer science.”

  “I’m also pretty good at psychology,” I note.

  HARV snickers. “Please, that barely classifies as a science.”

  Tezza steps forward to go face-to-face with HARV. “Yes, that’s why we on Mars are different. We are beings that have been touched by science. After all, we all have bionics, but we are also in tune with our natural artistic sides. Hence the reason we create such lovely goods and such amazing pieces of technology, like our ship.”

  “I’ll give you credit for the esoteric crafts,” HARV says. “With those types of goods, beauty and use is in the eye of the beholder. As for your ship, if it weren’t for the Gladians, you and the people of Earth would be much more restricted in your space travel. It’s really more of an accomplishment for inter-planetary cooperation than Mars or Earth technology,” HARV says.

  Tezza crosses her arms in defiance. “While the Gladians may have shared their engine designs with us, the SRIP interface is all ours.”

  HARV pauses for a moment. I know he is formulating his reply. “While a computer interface is of course needed, I’ve been talking with the SRIP interface. It doesn’t seem all that special to me. In fact, I think it is a bit slow and one-dimensional. It really isn’t much different than the standard Bob interface most Earthlings, as you call them, use to update their calendars and perform other trivial feats.”

  Merinda, being the leader, sees where this is heading and steps forward. “While this debate is both educational and spirited, I have called for the hotel’s hover to take us to the New Frisco spaceport. It will pick us up on the roof. I suggest we start to head there now.”

  I know we have to get moving, but still there’s no reason why HARV can’t poke Tezza a bit while we are moving. It could help expose any weaknesses. Of course, it could also irk her off and cause her to clam up.

  OK, I’m enjoying HARV’s mental grilling of Tezza. After all, it was giving me insight into how Tezza thinks—insight about whether she might be capable of hurting Merinda. But I also know it is time to start heading to Mars. When the suspects were in their more familiar environment, there was a better chance of them slipping up.

  “Merinda is right,” I say. “Let’s get to the roof. I’m anxious to see this spaceship of yours. HARV, please go into observation mode until further notice.”

  HARV glares at me. His forehead furrows to show his disdain. “As you wish,” he says as he disappears.

  “Zach, you still want me to continue poking Tezza to see what I might stir up?” HARV asks in my mind.

  “Sure, let’s just move and poke,” I think back. “Let’s wait until we get on the elevator until you go at her again.”

  Merinda and her team are very organized. It is not long until we are on the elevator heading up to the roof. Looking over Merinda and her crew, I have to admit they all look relaxed and seem generally happy about heading back to Mars. Of course, I wasn’t going to let that happiness last, at least not for Tezza, at least not right now.

  “OK, HARV. You can start your mental softening up of Tezza,” I think to him as we start gliding upward.

  No answer.

  “Zach to HARV…Come on HARV, this is what you do best, drive humans and near humans crazy.”

  Still no answer, which was unusual to say the least. HARV almost always answers, even the times I don’t want him to answer.

  “HARV?”

  Merinda must have noticed a look of concern on my face. She hands Saturn to Alicia and walks over to me.

  “Zach, are you OK?” She asks, touching me gently on the shoulder.

  I hesitate for a nano, and then say, “I kind of expect HARV to be back.”

  Tezza rolls her eyes. “I am so glad that annoying simulated human isn’t here. I don’t know how any of you can deal with him.”

  “He is an acquired taste,” I say slowly, itching my head.

  “I find him entertaining,” Maxxx says.

  “I’m with Tezza. I don’t like him,” HAL50 chimes in. “He gives machines a bad name.”

  “HARV? Where are you?” I think.

  “Tió, I can’t sense him, either,” Carol thinks.

  The numbers 000000000000000000000 flash across my eyes. The numbers change to 0101010101. Then they become 11111111111111111.

  I see the message scroll across my eyes: Z A C H I A M U N D E R S O M E S O R T O F D E
N I A L O F S E R V I C E A T T A C K.

  This is something that doesn’t happen very often. It takes a pretty sophisticated attack to slow down HARV a fraction of a nanosecond. Though I like to think I can solve most crimes without HARV, I have to admit he is handy to have around. The question is now, what’s the best way for me to get him back?

  10

  We get out of the elevator and onto the hotel’s rooftop. I can see the shuttle-craft coming to take us to Merinda’s ship. All in all, I would say I am making progress on the case—except, of course, now HARV is under some sort of attack.

  “HARV, are you still with us?” I think.

  Nothing.

  “Come on, HARV!” I mentally coax.

  I hear in my mind three quick beeps, three long beeps, and then three quick beeps. It’s an SOS. For HARV to resort to Morse code, this has to be even worse than I thought.

  Merinda gazes over at me. “Zach, are you OK?”

  “Yeah, buddy. You look kind of pale,” Maxxx notes.

  “I’m fine,” I halfheartedly reassure them. Rubbing my stomach, I tell them, “I just grabbed a bad taco at the taco hover.”

  Merinda moves over to me and places her hand over my stomach. “Perhaps I can help,” she says calmly.

  “Ah, OK, but usually there’s just one thing that relieves this,” I tell her.

  “Zach, just relax,” I hear Merinda say in my head. “The bionics in my brain give me psi powers. One of my abilities is to heal. I can sense what’s going on between you and HARV. You need to let me heal you both.”

  “Ah, how?” I ask. “You going to reboot my brain?”

  Merinda smiles. “Actually, yes,” she thinks.

  “That could work!” Carol says in my head. DOS, my mind is getting congested.

  I know in the old days, back when a computer was having problems, a reboot would often do the trick. Still, I couldn’t say I was thrilled about having my mind rebooted.

  “Don’t be a baby,” Carol thinks to me. “You’ve had me and so many other psis playing around with your white and gray matter, this is no big deal. If you want, I can reboot you.”

  “Carol, I know you have a powerful mind, but my mind is built for healing,” Merinda thinks.

  “The shuttle will be on the ground in one minute,” Alicia informs us.

  “Zach, I can have you feeling better by then,” Merinda tells me. Holding out her hand, she says, “Trust me.”

  I take a deep breath, and then another. “HARV?” I think out one last time.

  Once again all I hear is three quick beeps, three slow beeps, and three quick beeps.

  “Help me,” I tell Merinda.

  Merinda puts a hand on my midsection and another on my forehead. “Just relax, Zach.”

  I feel warmth on my head and in my gut. Not just the warmth from Merinda’s touch, but an extra type of warmth that I can only describe as hot cocoa on a cold day. My entire body starts to relax.

  The next thing I know, Carol is standing behind me for support. I’m not sure why, until my knees buckle.

  I feel a slight jostle from behind. “Come on, tió, wake up. You’re heavy.”

  “Carol, give him a second to recover,” I hear Merinda order.

  The first thing I see when I open my eyes are Merinda’s incredibly green eyes. She smiles. “Welcome back. How do you feel?”

  “HARV, are you in there?”

  The numbers 1…2…3 scroll in front of my eyes. “I’m back, Zach.”

  “I’m fine. Thank you, Merinda.”

  “Why did you have to make him pass out to fix an upset stomach?” HAL50 asks.

  “I wanted to give him a complete reset,” Merinda says. “It’s good for the body and the soul.”

  “Now that Mr. Johnson’s tummy ache is over, may I suggest we head to our ship?” Tezza says, pointing at the shuttle that has just landed.

  “Of course,” Merinda says.

  We were going to have to figure out who or what attacked HARV. That would lead us closer to Merinda’s would-be attacker. But something else was troubling me: Merinda was much more powerful than I had thought. I wasn’t sure I liked the fact that I was just finding out now that she could read minds and project her thoughts. The question is what, if anything, am I going to do about it?

  The trip from the shuttle to Merinda’s rocket goes surprisingly smoothly. Nobody attacks or tries to kill me or anybody else. That is good because it gives me time to think. I’m a little worried that Merinda never told me she could read and, to some extent, control minds. I decide to keep quiet about it until we board her ship.

  The ship itself, while being mega cool, since after all, it is a rocket ship to Mars, doesn’t actually look like anything that special from the outside: just a long streamlined metal bullet. I am sure HARV would tell me it’s not really made out of metal, but whatever it was made of was shining and silver. Like I said, ultra cool, but nothing special in this day and age of teleporting.

  The inside of the ship reminds me of those luxury hover buses that rock and video stars use when touring the country. I was on one of those once when I worked a case for the clones of the Still Grateful Dead. This was a little bigger and roomier (and not nearly as smoky), but still pretty much the same.

  “Welcome to our ship, SRIP,” Merinda tells me with a smile, as we enter the common area.

  “I have made all the necessary calculations and arrangements for our return to Mars,” a semirobotic voice informs us over the ship’s intercom. “Just tell me when you wish to take off.”

  “Thank you, SRIP,” Merinda says. Merinda turns to me. “Private quarters are in the back of SRIP. I will have Alicia show you and Carol to your rooms. Zachary, when we take off, you may either be in your room in the back of the ship or in the common seating area near the front. Wherever you think you would be the most comfortable.”

  “You know what would make me really comfortable?” I ask, locking eyes with Merinda.

  She looks down without looking away. “You are wondering why I did not tell you more about my abilities,” she says.

  “Yeah,” I tell her. “A PI’s best weapon is information. Without having complete information, it’s like fighting a ninja with one hand tied behind your back.”

  “You are such a drama king,” HARV says.

  Before Merinda can respond, Alicia steps between us. Alicia’s eyes are wide open, and her hair is standing on end. “Ms. Merinda is a member of the Mars High Council. For all intents and purposes, she is royalty. She does not have to tell you anything more than she thinks you need to know. If she does not think you need to know it, then you do not need to know.” Alicia grabs me by the shoulder. “Got it?”

  On one hand, I am impressed by Alicia’s loyalty to her boss. On the other hand, I hate having people grab me. It’s just so rude.

  Looking over Alicia to Merinda, I ask, “Are you going to answer my question and handle this?” I move my head toward Alicia so Merinda understands what—well, who—I mean by this.

  “Zach, I’m sorry,” Merinda says.

  “For not giving me information or for your aide threatening me?”

  “Technically, she hasn’t threatened you,” Maxxx says.

  “She’s just doing what we’re all thinking,” Tezza says. “You are a bit overbearing.”

  “I’m actually loving this,” HAL50 smirks.

  Once again I find myself toe-to-toe and chin-to-eyes with an angry Alicia..

  “Want me to mentally blast her?” Carol asks again in my head.

  “No, I need to handle this myself, Carol. Pay attention to the others, though, and see how they react.”

  Not wanting to let this go on any longer, I decide to put a hard stop on the situation. I grab the wrist of Alicia’s hand—the one holding me. In one fluid motion, I spin backward and into Alicia, locking her underarm on top of my shoulder. I bend and pull her forward, flipping her over my shoulder. Alicia hits the floor with a very satisfying thud.

  “Th
at will teach you once and for all not to mess with me!” I tell her firmly.

  Glancing up quickly at Alicia’s coworkers, I notice Maxxx has a wry smile on his face. Tezza is shaking her head, but she doesn’t look very upset with me. HAL50 is the interesting one. He is just standing there, but I notice his orangish robotic fists are clenching.

  “Carol, can you pick up anything from HAL50?” I think.

  “His brain is human, but being in that android shell makes it harder,” Carol thinks back.

  “Try!” I think. “Team up with HARV.”

  “Zach, that is actually a decent idea,” HARV thinks.

  You don’t live as long as I have doing the job I do without one or two decent ideas. But I realize I don’t need HARV and Carol to team up to deduce what HAL50 is about to do. His eyes narrow and focus on me. I have seen that look often. He is getting ready to charge. The only thing that would make it more obvious would be if his back foot started to twitch.

  “Never mind,” I tell HARV and Carol with my mind. “He’s going to rush me.”

  “Yes, we have come to the same conclusion,” I hear them echo in my mind, an eerie HARV-and-Carol mix.

  Before I have time to contemplate how mega creepy that is, HAL50 races at me, hands now curled into fists. “Leave her alone, you cad!” he shouts.

  I’m a fairly big guy: nearly two meters tall and around ninety kilograms. HAL50, though, is bigger than I am. Plus, I’ve tangled with enough pure androids in my life to know they are stronger than normal humans. Luckily, I have two things going for me. First, I played a bit of quarterback in high school, back in the day before they declared football too dangerous and replaced human players with androids. (Of course, an underground human football league still thrives.) Not to mention, I do get attacked a lot. The bottom line is I am used to being rushed by bigger guys. Second, as anybody can tell you, I’m not normal—not even close.

  “HARV, are you powering up my muscles if I need an extra boost?” I think, keeping one eye on the charging android.

  “Of course, Zach.”

  Even with HARV’s boost, I need to time this right. Just as HAL50 reaches me, I drop my shoulder down to a level below his waist. As HAL50 hits my shoulder, I grab his back with both my hands and arch my back. My move sends him flying over me, crashing on the ground maybe half a meter past where Alicia is lying.