The Secrets of a Lady (The Jordans)

by Jenna Petersen

  He was torn between two options. He could follow her lead and brush off the kiss as a lack of judgment. Or he could make an enormous leap of faith and tell her it had meant more to him.

  Suddenly an image of Luci leapt into his mind. Luci lying. Luci destroying his world. He never wanted to go through that again. Never.

  “Yes, well foolish is the word for it,” he choked out, taking a long sip of tea. “I’m glad we both feel that way. I allowed my concern for you to slip into…”

  He wanted to say desire, but didn’t.

  “To slip into over-protectiveness?” Audrey examined the design on the lacy tablecloth intently. “And that lead to…”

  “The kiss,” he finished with a nod. “But I know you can take care of yourself. You have Noah to protect you if you need him, and Hannah. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

  She dipped her head and nodded sadly, her look grave as she picked at the food on her plate. Instinctively, Griffin reached across to take her hand.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze, as he wondered what exactly he was apologizing for. Perhaps for the kiss they’d shared the night before. Perhaps for the one they’d shared years ago. Or maybe because he was sorry. Sorry he couldn’t… shouldn’t take more.

  For a brief moment when she looked up, he saw the volumes of emotion she felt, then she covered them with whatever skills she’d been taught as a spy.

  “Please don’t trouble yourself, Griffin.” She placed her hand over his. “I’m no fragile dove.”

  “Excuse me,” came a cold voice from the door.

  Like guilty children, both of them snatched their hands away. Griffin glanced over to the doorway to see Noah staring at them. He looked angry, and Griffin had the sudden realization that his friend knew about the previous night’s kiss. With a grimace, he stood up. Noah looked like he wanted to rip Griffin’s heart out, so it was best to face him on more equal ground.

  “Good morning.” Griffin motioned to the chair to his right while he kept a close eye on his best friend. “I trust you slept well and…”

  “Audrey, will you give my friend and me a moment alone?” Noah growled.

  Audrey stood up to smooth her skirts as she looked from one man to the other. “Noah.” Her tone was a warning and a plea all at once.

  “Audrey,” he answered, finally glancing at her pointedly.

  She placed her hand on her brother’s arm and squeezed. “This is ridiculous. Please, let’s have our meal together without any problems.”

  Griffin saw volumes of unspoken communication pass between the siblings, then finally Audrey sighed in exasperation.

  “You men! If you insist on destroying a lifelong friendship over a stupid…” Her gaze flitted to Griffin briefly. “… a stupid mistake, then what can I do about it?”

  With a flounce of her skirt, Audrey left the room, slamming the great oak door behind her and leaving Griffin alone with a man who looked as though he wanted to eat him alive.

  Clearing his throat, Griffin asked, “Is Audrey correct? Are you intent on destroying our lifelong friendship?”

  “How can you ask me that?” Noah stepped closer. “You are the one destroying the bond between us, not I!”

  Griffin had to work at maintaining his own cool in the face of his friend’s ugly accusation. “And just how am I doing that?”

  Noah’s voice was dangerously low. “Audrey. I thought I made it clear just how easily you could hurt her!”

  Griffin sat down at the table and stirred his tea while he tried to maintain his façade of calm. “My relationship with your sister has nothing to do with my friendship with you. She is a grown woman, long past the age of majority. If she chooses to spend her time in my company, then it’s really none of your affair.”

  Noah’s face darkened a shade and the vein in his forehead began to throb as he gripped the back of the carved dining room chair.

  “Actually, it is my affair.” His voice was harsh in the quiet room. “Not only am I responsible for her as her brother, but starting any relationship with you could hurt her cover with Ellison.”

  “Oh, yes,” Griffin spat out, folding his arms. “I’d forgotten. You would much rather have your sister trading kisses with a turncoat in exchange for his secrets than with me.”

  Noah’s eyes narrowed. “At least I know where the turncoat stands, Griffin. Where do you? Are you planning to court Audrey? Are you planning to take her as your wife, or is your bed her final destination?”

  Stiffening at his friend’s observant, if cold, comment Griffin slammed a fist down on the table. “I would never harm your sister. She means… you mean too much to me.”

  With a sigh, Noah sat down in Audrey’s abandoned chair and stared at his friend intently.

  “Perhaps you wouldn’t intentionally hurt her, but you already are. If Ellison finds out you and she are carrying on some kind of… affair behind his back, he could turn on her. I don’t give a damn about his blasted secrets if it means putting her life in eminent danger.” His eyes darkened as he looked away. “I know you think I’m some kind of bastard for introducing her to this dangerous lifestyle, but you don’t understand. She was nearly destroyed by the ton and my mother’s constant pressure for her to marry. If I hadn’t taken her away, Audrey might have been driven to drastic measures.”

  Griffin frowned. He had a sudden realization how little he knew about Audrey in the years they’d been apart. Before she’d disappeared with Noah, he’d tried to avoid all news of her in hopes he could forget what had happened between them. He’d even found out which parties she’d been invited to and made a concerted effort to decline his own invitations. Luci had been furious.

  “I had no idea your sister was so unhappy,” Griffin muttered.

  “Mother found out about the unfortunate… incident on your wedding day.” Noah scrubbed a hand over his face as if the memory physically pained him. “She insisted she would have Audrey married before the next Season ended, whether or not she liked it. She dragged my sister to every party and ball there was, but rumors had begun. There were a few whispers about my sister’s virtue.”

  “Rumors?” A sickening sense of premonition hit Griffin in the pit of his stomach. “Who started these rumors?”

  Noah flinched. “I think you already know who… and why.”

  Griffin closed his eyes. Yes, he did. When he married Luci, no one could have convinced him she was anything but lovely and kind. Now that he knew the truth about her… he could only imagine the revenge she had taken on Audrey for that drunken kiss.

  “Luci. Damn Luci!” Griffin howled, rising to his feet to pace the room. “What did she say?”

  “Leave it be, Griffin. It’s done and Luci is gone. It matters little now.” Noah shook his head.

  “No.” Griffin clenched his hands. “It matters to me. I want to know what she did.”

  After a brief hesitation, Noah sighed. “Apparently she swore to my sister that she would destroy her after she found you two together.”

  His friend’s voice was curiously flat as he continued, “She followed through on that threat with enough venom to impress the meanest of witches. After the rumors began, no suitable man wanted her. She went home after her second season with her head lowered in shame and guilt in her heart because Virginia was coming out the next year and Audrey was afraid she would taint our younger sister’s reputation, too.”

  “Your mother must have been furious.” Griffin felt sick as he thought of all the pain Luci had brought to him and to those he cared for.

  Noah gave a glum nod. “Of course. Mama cared a great deal for appearances then, so she arranged for my sister to marry some Squire. A nice enough chap, but not the thing for our Audrey. She was miserable.”

  Griffin could only imagine the ugly specifics of Luci’s lies. Images of Audrey publicly humiliated tainted his mind. The pain was nearly unbearable.

  “And that was why she went with you,” he said so
ftly.

  Noah nodded. “I was leaving and thanks to some snooping she had guessed a connection to the War Department. She begged me to take her with me. I couldn’t deny her when I saw how deep her misery was. I took her to meet our superior believing he would keep her from the field, but she proved herself so swiftly that she was granted her desire. I gained a powerful ally in my duty to my country that day. I would never tell her this, but I’ve never been so happy to have been proven wrong.”

  “And she escaped the life that would have been thrust upon her thanks to Luci. Thanks to me.” Griffin scrubbed a hand over his face. He certainly understood a great deal more about Audrey now.

  “Don’t you see?” Noah asked. “As much as Audrey has changed, the fact is that you were her fantasy as a young girl. You were what she wanted. If you offer her that fantasy again now, then refuse to follow through, you’ll hurt her all over again.”

  Griffin gave a noncommittal grunt because he couldn’t think of anything to say. The idea of being Audrey’s fantasy was an agreeable one. But was he ready to follow through on anything he started? That he didn’t know.

  “I’m deeply sorry my wife hurt your sister.”

  “You had nothing to do with that,” Noah said with a snort. “Luci did what she wanted to do. You know that better than anyone.”

  The blood drained from Griffin’s face. Both men were thinking of Luci’s infidelity and lies.

  Noah grimaced. “I’m sorry, Griffin. I shouldn’t have gone so far. Luci is gone and we shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, no matter what she might have done.”

  Griffin sat back down in his chair with a thud. Noah was the only person in the world who he’d ever spoken to about Luci’s cruelty. The only person he trusted with those secrets. But now he had betrayed his friend’s trust by harming the person Noah loved most.

  “I’m sorry, as well,” he said. “I shouldn’t have gone so far with your sister. She and I have already spoken about it, and I can promise you it will never happen again.”

  A sharp sting rushed through his body at that thought. Now that he had made that vow, the most Griffin could hope for was the gentle touch of Audrey’s hand on his arm as she exited a carriage or passed him in a hallway.

  Noah cocked his head to look at Griffin closely. “You suddenly look sick.”

  Griffin shook the thoughts from his head. “No, just drained, I suppose.”

  “Well, get as much rest as you can. You and I are going to the merchants’ dinner in a few days. Since Audrey can’t attend, we’ll be responsible for keeping a close eye on Ellison.” Noah took a bite of the food his sister had left untouched. “I’d like to close out this case as soon as possible. After recent events, I think it would be best for all involved.”

  Griffin nodded grimly. What Noah said was true, but that didn’t lessen the sting that once this case was over, Audrey would be well and truly out of his life for good.

  Chapter Seven

  Audrey paced across the sitting room and glanced back and forth between Griffin and Noah. Both looked dapper in their evening clothes, though Griffin’s good looks and his delicious scent made him all the more a draw. At least to her.

  Stifling a sigh as she remembered her private vow to squelch her feelings for him, Audrey reached up to straighten Noah’s cravat.

  “Don’t forget, I haven’t told you a thing about Ellison’s behavior in the carriage, so don’t say anything to him about it. It will make him think I didn’t mind his vile kiss no matter how coyly I acted at the time.”

  She couldn’t hold back a shudder at the memory.

  Noah jolted with dislike. “I know.”

  Audrey pursed her lips. She hated it when her brother took on that condescending tone. It wasn’t her fault that the merchants dinner invitation didn’t extend to women. She only wanted to be certain the men remembered their parts. Noah had never worked with Griffin, and that increased the danger level.

  Her mind spun with good advice. “If you get a chance, try to get him talking about the Prince. If you allow him, Ellison might let something slip he wouldn’t dare in front of me. He thinks I’m a silly woman who wouldn’t understand his political opinions, but with you…”

  “I know, Audrey.” Noah gently removed her trembling hands from his now mangled cravat and turned to the mirror behind him. “Well, this is wrinkled beyond repair. I’ll run upstairs and have my valet give me another. Hold the carriage for me, will you, Griffin?”

  Griffin nodded wordlessly without looking up from the papers he was sorting.

  With her brother and his watchful eyes out of the room, Audrey took a moment to examine Griffin. He really did look devastating in his eveningwear. He looked darker, more serious, though she wouldn’t have thought that possible. She found herself happy that no other women would be at the event to admire how smashing he looked.

  “Do you remember your role?” She wrung her hands reflexively and began to pace.

  With a short sigh, he stacked the papers in his hand on the table. “Yes, Audrey.”

  “And you will be careful, won’t you?” she asked. “This is your first time doing this kind of work. It’s difficult not to get excited or try to behave differently, but remain calm and collected. Just pretend as if this were a normal event and-”

  Griffin slowly crossed the room to step in her path. With a smile, he reached out to take both her cold hands. All her racing thoughts quieted as she stared up at him.

  With tortuous slowness, he kissed each of her hands across the top of her fingers. His warm lips sent moist heat through her veins and turned her knees to water. It took all her willpower not to lean against him and beg him for more.

  His voice was hoarse when he said, “Noah and I will be fine. As far as I’m concerned this is a normal event. I shall observe those around me more closely and listen more carefully. If Ellison gives me an opportunity to press him for information, I’ll certainly take it. But you need to be calm, Audrey. Sitting in this state all night will only make you sick with worry.”

  Releasing one hand, he brushed back a stray strand of hair from her face. His thumb grazed her cheek and she closed her eyes for a brief moment. How in the world would she manage to relax now? One touch from Griffin Berenger made her heart throb and her whole body feel weightless and out of control. The very last thing he inspired in her was calm.

  “I-I know,” she stammered. “I only worry about you. And my brother, of course.”

  With a blink, Griffin’s eyes cleared. He pulled away, but not before she saw the tension around his eyes and mouth.

  “Try to find something to occupy your mind,” he continued in a strained voice while he watched her in the mirror above the fireplace. “Talk to Hannah or read a book.”

  “Yes, Griffin,” she whispered.

  Their eyes met in the glass and again the discomfort appeared on his face. The awkward silence that filled the room was only broken when Noah returned with a fresh cravat around his neck.

  “Ready then?”

  “Be careful tonight,” she whispered, leaning up to press a kiss on her brother’s smooth-shaven cheek. In his ear, she murmured, “And take care of Griffin.”

  He nodded as he broke their embrace. “We’re off then.”

  He motioned to Griffin to leave the room first. At the doorway, Griffin paused to look back at her for a moment. Then they were both gone, disappearing out the front door into the cool night air. Toward possible danger in a place where she wasn’t allowed to follow.

  The thought gave her a shiver as she sat down in one of the chairs by the fire and stared into the flames. It would be a long night, and now she had to find something to do to fill the long hours while the two men were gone.

  ***

  The clock in the hallway began to chime. Audrey looked up from her book to listen to the number. One, two, three… twelve. Midnight. With each hour Griffin and Noah were away, her anxiety increased.

  With a small sigh, she turned back to the page in
her novel, but quickly tossed it aside. She had been reading the same words over and over for two hours and still had no idea who the main characters in the story were. Even Hannah had tired of her constant pacing and retired to bed.

  The house was far too quiet for Audrey’s taste. The only sounds were the crackling fire and the tick of the clock in the hallway. With a groan of frustration, she rose to fix herself a sherry. She was just about to sit back down when she heard a soft sound from outside the window. She strained to hear it and was rewarded by the creak of wood and the crackle of feet against leaves or dry branches.

  There was definitely an intruder outside.

  Freezing instinctively, she sent a side-glance toward the glass. The glare of the lamps inside made it impossible for her to get a clear view, but anyone outside could see her movements with no hindrance.

  As nonchalantly as she could, she set her tumbler down and strolled over to the fireplace. The poker would make a fine weapon if a trespasser were so bold as to enter the house. She clutched at it, prodding the fire absently as she continued to glance from time to time toward the window.

  The noise came again, a scuffling then a creaking as whoever was outside began to work at the windowpane in an effort to open it. Her heart leapt to her throat and she faced the window head on. She raised the poker at her side, ready to swing if she needed to.

  “Who’s out there?” she snapped as the pane began to rise. There was no answer but a black-gloved hand wrapped around the frame. “Damn it, who are… Jean?”

  Her poker hit the floor with a clatter as the man climbed inside and flashed her a quick grin. One she knew well, just as she knew his sparkling gray eyes and shaggy brown hair that was always a touch too long.

  “Jean!”

  “You are becoming too soft with all this London nonsense, Audrey. That was enough noise to send the entire house running!” he said, his French accent thick with laughter.

  Audrey crossed the room to close the window behind him. “What are you doing here? I thought you were trapped in Paris.”