The Secrets of a Lady (The Jordans)

by Jenna Petersen

  She finished her story with a little shrug, as if she’d said something perfectly commonplace.

  “You know, you didn’t take up gardening, Audrey,” Griffin said with a shake of his head. “You behave as if this is normal.”

  “To me it’s become normal,” she explained. “My mother was furious at first, but then Ginny came out with great success and she began to see that losing me was really for the best.”

  Again, Griffin winced at the pain in her voice. “Have you spoken to her since you left?”

  She was quiet for a long, charged moment. “No. We have exchanged a few letters, but I never see her.”

  Her tone left no opening for questions and Griffin took her hint and didn’t ask. She’d already given him a hefty glance into her past, more than he ever would have asked for.

  “Audrey.” He cocooned her hand between both of his, surprised at how small and delicate her fingers were.

  She pulled back half-heartedly. “I should go to bed now, it’s very late.”

  “Come to my bed,” he burst out.

  Though it wasn’t a smooth request, that didn’t change the fact that it was what he wanted more than anything. He watched as Audrey’s face paled a shade, then colored to a deep red.

  “I shouldn’t,” she stammered though she swayed just a little in his direction.

  Frowning, he let her hand go. “Have the past few hours changed your view? Are you sorry now for what happened between us?”

  “No!” Her tone was emphatic enough to be believed without hesitation. “But I can’t join you tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “Hannah already suspects something has happened between us.”

  He tilted his head to examine her expression more closely. From the embarrassment in Audrey’s eyes, he had no doubt Hannah more than suspected something had happened. She knew.

  “Don’t worry,” she reassured him with a light touch on his upper arm. “She won’t breathe a word. I already have her promise.”

  Griffin let out a sigh of relief at her reassurance. The last thing he wanted was for Noah to confront him about his indiscretion. His relationship with the other man was already strained of late. Of course, that didn’t stop Griffin from asking Audrey to come to his bed. Somehow his desire to have her with him was stronger than his need to protect his lifelong friendship with her brother.

  Refusing to ponder that troubling thought further, he smiled. “It’s difficult to keep secrets amongst spies.”

  “Or friends,” she corrected as she released his arm.

  “Then when will you come to me again? Tomorrow?”

  He couldn’t believe he was practically begging her to come to his bed, but didn’t stop. He needed her, now more than ever. Just one taste wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He wanted more.

  Her face darkened a shade and Griffin felt as if she had erected a wall between them. Why? Why would she shut him out now?

  She turned away. “Tomorrow evening Wellington will be presented to Queen Charlotte. We’ll all be at the ball until late.”

  “Then come to my room after everyone has retired for the evening.” He took a step closer in the hopes she’d open herself to him again. “Please, Audrey.”

  Her eyes lifted to his face at the plea, softening in the dim light of the fire. He could see how much she wanted to acquiesce, but something stopped her.

  Her eyes met his in an intense stare. “Perhaps you won’t want me tomorrow. So much can change within a few hours.”

  “What can change?” he asked, confused and a little hurt at her resistance. “The way you feel for me? Will you no longer want me tomorrow?”

  She drew back as if the thought were a completely foreign one. “Griffin, I’ve wanted you for more than five years. For a lifetime, it seems. One more night will change nothing about how I feel for you. But circumstances…”

  “If how I feel won’t change and how you feel won’t change, everything else is inconsequential,” he interrupted, reaching out to run his fingertip along her cheekbone.

  She shut her eyes and shivered, but she didn’t answer. As the moments ticked by on the clock on the mantle, Griffin wondered if she would answer.

  “Yes,” she finally breathed. “If you still want me after the celebration tomorrow, I will come to you.”

  Leaning down, he felt his own hot breath reflected back from her smooth lips. “Good.”

  She lifted her mouth to meet his kiss with no hesitation. As his lips claimed hers, he felt none of the desperation that had been present in the carriage. There he’d believed if he didn’t have her, he might never get another chance. Now he knew she would be his again. So he took his time exploring her lips. When she sighed and drooped against him in surrender, he pulled away. With a promise for tomorrow made, he didn’t want to risk pushing her too far tonight.

  “Until tomorrow,” he whispered.

  She blinked twice, then gave a shaky nod before leaving the room. He was pleased to note her step was much more unsteady than it had been when she entered.

  “Tomorrow,” he repeated, this time with a smile he couldn’t suppress.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “What do you have there?” Noah asked as he stepped into the sitting room.

  Raising his head a fraction, Griffin gave his friend a quick glance then returned to the letter in his hand. The handwriting was the small, soft swirl of his mother and the paper smelled faintly of her cologne water.

  “It’s from my mother, asking me about your visit,” he explained. “My parents are very interested in why you and Audrey are staying here.”

  Noah poured himself a cup of tea with a frown. “What have you told them?”

  “Only what everyone else knows,” Griffin replied. “That your estate is under renovation and that you wished to stay in London during the festivities.”

  Noah slanted him a hooded look. “And you think they doubt that explanation?”

  “I don’t know.” Griffin sighed. “It’s hard to tell with them. Mother seems to be asking me questions without actually asking them. She knows I wanted nothing to do with London society so soon after Luci’s death.”

  His friend gave him an apologetic glance. “I’m aware of what a hell these past few months have been for you. I never would have brought you into this mess if it weren’t absolutely necessary.”

  Griffin refolded the letter and stuffed it in his pocket. “But you still would have taken the case. Audrey would still be the bait for your trap.”

  Noah set his cup down on its saucer with a clatter. “Griffin…”

  He rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. You’ve explained it to me several times.”

  Noah paused for a moment and examined Griffin with a particularly close stare. “You care for her a great deal.”

  He took a long sip of tea with what he hoped was nonchalant detachment. “For whom?”

  Noah arched an eyebrow with a half-smile. “For Audrey. How long have you cared for her so much?”

  “I care for Audrey as any good friend would. And I’ve been her friend for nearly her whole life, haven’t I?”

  “No, it’s more than that,” Noah said with a shake of his dark head. “This is more than friendship. More than even lust.”

  “You shouldn’t speak of such things.”

  Griffin found himself unwilling to discuss his relationship with Audrey, even with his best friend. Especially with his best friend. After all, it couldn’t be proper to tell her own brother that he was obsessed with thoughts of Audrey. That each time she left the room, especially with Douglas Ellison, he was tormented.

  “Then what should I speak of?” Noah asked in exasperation. “Very well, Wellington’s presentation to the Queen. Would that be a benign enough topic for you? Will you call Douglas Ellison out, or allow my sister to perform her duty?”

  Griffin gave an answering shrug. “She’ll be in a crowded room with the Queen’s guard and both of us standing by. I won’t be happy about it, but I w
on’t interfere.”

  “Good. This will all be over soon enough.” Noah sat down and folded his arms. “And then you can return to your normal life with both our apologies and thanks.”

  Griffin frowned at the thought of what his life would be like when Audrey and Noah’s case was over. Audrey would be gone, out of his life as if she’d never lived in his home or made love to him.

  And what if there was a child? He hadn’t given much thought to it at the time, but he’d taken no precautions to keep Audrey from having his baby. Right now his son or daughter could be growing within her. If she left, she could easily hide the truth from him in order to continue her life as a spy.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Griffin started at the intrusion into his thoughts. “Wrong?”

  His friend’s concerned frown lengthened with displeasure. “You look sick. What is it?”

  “Nothing.” He wasn’t ready to talk about any of his thoughts with Noah. How could he? “I was just thinking about some choices I’ve made. And choices I have yet to make.”

  Noah looked less than convinced, but stood up with a shrug. “I should go get ready for the presentation and ball. I’d suggest you do the same.”

  Waving his friend off, Griffin rubbed his eyes. “I’ll be right behind you.”

  Noah hesitated, then shook his head and left the room without any more comment. With a sigh of relief, Griffin crossed to the window and opened it. Outside the air was warm and still, heavy with humidity as the clouds gathered in the distance.

  As the breeze ruffled his hair, Griffin continued to ponder his relationship with Audrey. He’d been wrong to take her innocence with no promise of a future. Yet he couldn’t seem to help himself when she was near. He needed to touch her, to be with her. And not just because he wanted her in his bed, but because he’d grown accustomed to her presence in his life. The thought of her leaving was troubling.

  “I suppose I could marry her,” he muttered with a laugh at the thought.

  At Luci’s grave, he’d sworn time and again not to marry a second time. In the months since her death, though, the anger behind that bitter promise had faded, and the reality of his position had returned. He would be forced to marry someday, if only to continue his bloodline. But he’d never thought he would consider marriage so soon. Or marry a woman he desired and cared for so deeply.

  That was the difficulty. He cared for Audrey, but did he love her? Was he even ready for love after everything Luci had put him through? At the moment, he wasn’t sure. What he was sure of was that Audrey would be true to him.

  Suddenly the sarcastic joke he’d made to himself seemed less amusing. Marrying Audrey was the proper thing to do after what had transpired between them. It was also beginning to seem like the right thing to do for his future.

  With a shake of his head, Griffin crossed the room and began to ascend the stairway. He still needed to prepare for the ball and the thoughts spinning in his head were just too much. Tonight he would speak to Audrey, and he was certain she would see the logic in his newly developing plans.

  ***

  With a quick turn of her ankle and a flip of her spring green skirt, Audrey stepped from the carriage. She gave Noah a small smile as she took his arm, then they made their way up the long walkway to Buckingham House where the Queen was to receive Wellington.

  The house was the Queen’s main residence. It was utterly enchanting, even to Audrey who normally didn’t pay much attention to the estates of the rich and powerful. She’d learned over time that the beauty of a building said nothing about the goodness of the inhabitants. But Buckingham House was hard not to admire.

  Greek-style pillars embossed with leafing at the top and bottom supported the square building. Carriages filled the circular drive and a line of people entered the door at the top of the short stairway. Light from the windows streamed out, highlighting the many outside buildings that housed servants, horses and vehicles.

  Griffin stepped down from the carriage behind her and gazed around him. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it? Despite the clouds.”

  Audrey had to wonder at the sly smile he sent in her direction. He’d been behaving strangely all night, tossing her looks and saying cryptic things. She couldn’t believe it all had to do with her promise to come to him that night.

  A strange flutter went through her at the thought. In the carriage, their lovemaking had been spontaneous and animal. Tonight, there would be time for savoring each moment.

  “Are you coming, or…?” Noah’s voice forced her wandering thoughts back to the present.

  She started when she realized she had stopped dead still in a haze. “I apologize, I was woolgathering.”

  This was far too dangerous a situation to be sidetracked by thoughts of Griffin. She tossed one fleeting glance over her shoulder at the man and gave a little shiver. No matter how pleasant daydreams of him were, she had to concentrate on her mission.

  The doors to Buckingham House opened and their group stepped inside the foyer. Already it was crowded with people milling about as they waited to be announced by the tailored footman at the entrance to the main throne room. Noah sighed as he released her arm and turned back to Griffin.

  “Any way to move us up in line for the announcement, you think?” he asked.

  Griffin shrugged one shoulder. “I doubt it. There are so many people of rank here, mine wouldn’t be all that impressive in comparison.”

  “Hmmm.” Noah scanned the crowd, his blue eyes jumping from one party of invitees to the next until finally they settled and he gave a little smile. “Well, well, well.”

  “What is it?” Audrey peeked over her shoulder at the group Noah was looking at. When she saw who it was, she gave a little grumble of exasperation. Noah was staring at one of the most beautiful and scandalous widows in the ton. Lady Charlton wore a red dress, her abundant cleavage spilling over the top as she leaned forward and laughed at something one of her many male companions had said.

  “I must go say hello.” Noah straightened his cravat. “Griffin, you won’t mind keeping Audrey company, will you?”

  Before Griffin could get out the entire word “no”, Noah was gone.

  “How is it that he even gets any work done?”

  Audrey folded her arms in displeasure before realizing they wrinkled her gown and returned them to her sides.

  “I think he does it to watch you get so affronted,” Griffin said with a wide grin. “I’m certainly enjoying it.”

  “He never takes anything seriously,” Audrey complained, though she knew in her heart that she could trust her brother with her life.

  “And gets away with it brilliantly.” Griffin motioned to the crowd. “Look how they peel away when he approaches her.”

  Griffin was right. As Noah arrived at Lady Charlton’s side, the other men around her backed away. Even though they were scowling, they recognized Noah’s power and his superiority at the little game of love they played at.

  “Well,” she grumbled as she turned away. “I just hope he remembers what we’re here for tonight while he’s wooing his widow.”

  “He will.”

  Audrey looked at him with wide eyes at his absolute certainty.

  “He always does, doesn’t he?” With a grin, Griffin offered her the crook of his arm as another couple was announced and they moved closer to the footman.

  Audrey shrugged one shoulder and tried to ignore the smell of spices and heat coming from Griffin. Even as she grew frustrated at her brother for his distraction, she had to admit she was no better. Just the touch of Griffin’s hand was enough to send her heart into endless flutters and make the blood rush to her cheeks like some silly schoolgirl.

  She grasped desperately for some kind of control over her emotions. “Noah… Noah tells me you’ve received a letter from your Mother.”

  With a grim purse of his lips, Griffin nodded. “Yes, she asked about you.”

  “Really?” Audrey was surprised. She’d never rea
lly thought her presence amounted much to anyone. “I haven’t seen your parents in years. Are they well?”

  She took a calming breath as they moved into a conversation that seemed safe enough.

  “Very well.” He nodded. “Both are getting on in years, but you wouldn’t know it. Mother is as beautiful as ever and father is strong as a horse. It may be my own sons that inherit from him rather than me.”

  “I’m glad they’re doing so well.” Her mind drifted to the two people they discussed. Lady Ashton had always been very kind to her. As a young woman, the lady’s compassion had made her wish all the more that she would become her mother-in-law.

  Griffin gave her an intense look. “After the events of this evening, I would like to talk to you in private.”

  “About your Mother?” she asked, shaking herself back to the present.

  “No.” He smiled. “About other things.”

  She dropped her voice to a mere whisper as she glanced around her to be sure no one was listening to their conversation. “I-I already told you I would come to you tonight.”

  “Yes, you did.” His tone was suddenly strained as he quickly turned away and looked off into the crowd.

  “Oh, look, we’re the next to be announced.” Relief at the interruption relaxed her. The room had become far too confined and hot. “Do you see Noah anywhere?”

  Griffin used his superior height to scan the crowd. “No. He must be escorting Lady Charlton. I’m sure we’ll find him inside the throne room.”