by Deanna Chase
Victoria’s foot slipped on the edge of the dock, and just like that, she went over the side, but not before there was a loud crack as her head hit the piling.
“Victoria!” Amelia screamed as she watched her friend’s body disappear under the murky water. Fear gripped her, and she froze, unable to move as pure horror rooted her to the dock. But then her eyes focused on the water where Victoria had disappeared, and Amelia sucked in a sharp breath. Something about the cool air hitting her lungs snapped her out of her shock, and without any other thought, she dove into the chilly lake, frantically searching for her friend.
Amelia dove down into the water, searching for Victoria. The water was too murky to see anything, so she dove and blindly searched over and over again, even as her entire body went numb from the cold and her teeth chattered. She didn’t know how long she was in the water, but she kept screaming her friend’s name every time she surfaced, panic-stricken and nearly out of her mind as tears streamed down her face. Eventually, Victoria’s father appeared and dragged Amelia out of the water and handed her off to a white-faced Madison while he jumped in the lake himself to search fruitlessly for the daughter he’d already lost.
Amelia broke down and sobbed, lost in her own personal hell, unable to block out the vision of her friend’s last moment when she slipped from the dock.
“Amelia, wake up,” a familiar voice whispered in her ear. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe.” Strong arms wrapped around her, warming her chilled limbs.
“Victoria,” Amelia muttered, tasting salty tears on her own lips. “She’s gone.”
“Shh, it’s okay now. You’re safe. I promise.”
Amelia’s eyes flew open, and she stared at the darkened window. Soft light flooded her familiar room, while strong, comforting arms held her from behind.
Grayson. He was in her bed, holding her with one hand resting on her stomach and the other gently combing through her hair. She knew she should pull away from him, but she couldn’t. She was still too shaken by the dream. The one she hadn’t had in over ten years.
“Oh, gods,” she breathed. “Are Levi and Silas still here?” She was going to die if they’d heard her screaming in her sleep.
“Yes. I gave them the guest room and moved to the nursery. It’s snowing again and the roads still haven’t been plowed.”
She groaned. “How loud was I?”
“Loud enough,” he whispered. “But don’t worry about it. Everyone has nightmares sometimes.” He pressed a light kiss to her temple.
“Not like that,” she said, closing her eyes, just taking a moment to be comforted by being in his arms again. She knew she shouldn’t, considering their relationship was in limbo, but she was too shaken up to care at the moment.
“Do you want to talk about it?” There wasn’t any expectation in his tone, and she got the distinct impression that if she said no, he’d leave it alone. Something she hadn’t been able to do earlier. Dammit.
“Yeah,” she said, surprised by her answer. She rarely talked about Victoria anymore. The trauma just never went away. A therapist had helped her find ways to cope, but thinking about her beautiful friend and remembering that last day was always rough. But now that she was having the dream again, she knew talking was the only way to settle her mind. If she didn’t talk about it, she would likely have the same dream until she found the courage to face it again.
“Okay. I’m here,” he said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as he ran his knuckles gently over her cheek.
He was being too tender. Too caring. It was enough to break her heart all over again. She rolled over to face him, wanting to see his face as she talked. He placed one hand on her hip, keeping the connection between them, and he gave her a reassuring smile.
“When I was fifteen, I was there when my best friend slipped off the end of a dock, hit her head on a piling, and disappeared into the lake. Three days passed before they found her body.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s really awful, Amelia. I’m so sorry. Nobody should have to live through something like that, especially at the age of fifteen.”
“You’re right,” she said. “It was the single worst day of my life.”
Chapter 8
Grayson wanted to gather Amelia in his arms and somehow absorb all of the trauma she’d suffered that fateful day when she’d lost her friend. He was no stranger to that sort of pain, and if it were possible, he’d gladly shoulder the burden of hers.
“I don’t really remember jumping into the lake,” Amelia said. “I know it happened, because I dream about it, but as far as recalling it from my personal memory… That just isn’t here.”
“It was a traumatic event,” Grayson said, his heart breaking for her younger self. He’d witnessed plenty of awful events during his formative years and understood better than most what she’d gone through. “It makes sense that your subconscious has hidden it from you.”
“I don’t really remember anything other than I couldn’t stop looking for her.” Amelia’s voice was barely a whisper. “I was in the water for two hours. Two hours, Grayson. And I don’t think I would have stopped searching for her if Victoria’s father hadn’t hauled me out of the lake.” There were unshed tears in her eyes. Her voice broke as she added, “I couldn’t give up on her.”
A single tear fell down her cheek, and Grayson reached out to stop it with his thumb.
She closed her eyes and sucked in a shaky breath. “It’s been a long time since I had that dream. I just don’t know why it’s back now.”
Grayson let his instincts take over and gathered her in his arms. He pulled her close as he lay on his back, positioning her so that her head lay on his chest. He idly ran his fingers up and down the tender skin of her neck, hoping that his touch soothed her.
“She was the best friend I ever had… and then she was gone. How does anyone get over that?”
“I doubt you do,” he said. “You just need to find ways to cope.”
She sighed. “I guess.”
Silence fell between them, but it was that quiet space between two people who didn’t need words.
Grayson wished again with everything he had that he could take the pain away for her. He’d gladly hold on to it and stash it away with his own past trauma if it meant she didn’t have to suffer again. But he knew that there was no easing someone else’s pain.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Amelia,” he said, kissing the top of her head and tightening his hold on her.
“Yes, there is.” Her voice was stronger now as she tilted her head up to look him in the eye. “We had an agreement, and I broke it.”
He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“That weekend we spent in Cape Cod. The night I told you I love you. That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done that.”
A sharp pain shot through his chest at the idea that she thought it was a mistake to love him. He grimaced. Of course she did. Look at how he’d behaved. He needed to say something. To make this right between them. “It’s never a mistake to tell someone how you feel.”
She nodded, her silky hair tickling his neck. “I agree. After I lost Victoria, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t hold back. That I’d tell the people I cared about how I felt, because life is just too short. You never know what will happen. So I’m not sorry for that.” Amelia pushed herself up and stared down at him in the darkness. “I’m sorry for getting upset when my declaration wasn’t returned. I knew that you weren’t looking for anything serious or permanent. I had no right to expect you to reciprocate my feelings.”
Oh hell, Grayson thought. The words he’d desperately wanted to say then were still clogged in his throat. Only this time, it wasn’t just fear that had him swallowing his emotions. If he managed to get those words out now, it would feel wrong. Like he’d only said them because she was vulnerable, or because she was pregnant and he felt he had to say it in order to be part of the
ir lives. Neither of those things were true of course, but the timing was all wrong. They needed time to get to a place where they were both ready for those words.
Instead, he tugged her back down and gave her a part of himself he’d never given anyone else. Not even Kira. “When I was a kid, my parents used to take me to Sugarloaf every Christmas. They had me later in life, and both sets of my grandparents had already passed, so it was just the three of us.”
“You only have your parents?” she asked, sounding astonished that he was talking about his past at all. She likely had no idea just how hard this was for him. “No siblings? I thought you had a brother in Pennsylvania or something.”
“Foster brother,” he corrected, his voice cracking with the admission. “And no, no other siblings.”
She stared up at him, her eyes full of understanding. Grayson expected her to ask more questions or say something awkward the way people always seemed to when they realized he was an orphan. But she didn’t. She just waited patiently, appearing to understand that he’d get everything out in his own time.
“They rented a condo near the slopes, and we skied straight through Christmas. I learned to ski not long after I could walk, and up until I was ten years old, that was our little family tradition instead of having a big family gathering for the holidays.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Amelia said, squeezing his hand.
“Memories of those trips are the only thing that got me through the next eight years of my life.” His throat got tight, and he had to pause to let the painful emotions pass. “The Christmas that I turned ten, we had a great holiday on the mountain, but we ended up needing to leave a day early because Dad got called into work. It had snowed that day, and I remember Mom being nervous about the road conditions. But Dad’s boss was clear; he needed to be there, or they’d hand off his biggest account to someone else. So we piled in the car to head home.”
Was that a hitch in his voice? He wasn’t sure because there was a ringing in his ears. He ignored the noise and forced himself to continue. “There was a lot of traffic and a few accidents that kept us on the road longer than usual. And when night fell, ice formed on the highway. We were just a few miles from home when Dad hit a patch of ice, and we hit another car head-on.”
Amelia let out a gasp, clutching him tighter. “You were in that car,” she whispered.
“In the backseat. They used the Jaws of Life to get me out. I had a compound fracture in my leg, a broken wrist, and some internal injuries. Both of my parents died on impact.”
Tears streamed down Amelia’s face, and Grayson had to look away as his eyes stung with his own tears.
“After I got out of the hospital, I was sent to a foster home.” He forced himself to look at her and to wipe her tears away, even as his own fell unchecked down his cheeks. “I just wanted you to know that I understand your grief. You’re not alone in this pain, and if there is anything I can do to help ease yours, I will.”
“Grayson,” she breathed and pressed her entire body against his. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” He ran his hand over her hair. “So am I.”
She entwined her fingers with his and asked, “Am I allowed to ask what happened after you were placed in the foster home?”
He stiffened. “I don’t—”
“You don’t have to talk about it,” she said quickly. “I’m sure there are reasons why you’ve never said anything about it before.”
“There are,” he said, briefly considering leaving the conversation there, but for some strange reason, he wanted to tell her the rest. Or at least the condensed version of it.
“I understand,” she said.
He gave her a gentle smile, thankful that she wasn’t pushing. It somehow made it easier to share. “I was in that foster home until I turned eighteen. It wasn’t a good place. So bad in fact, that the day I turned eighteen, I left and never looked back.”
“How?”
“My parents had a college fund for me. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to pay for two years. I worked and took out loans for the rest.” He’d left a lot out of his explanation, but everything he’d said was true.
“I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you,” she said, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I wish I could’ve been there for you then.”
He took her palm and kissed it. “Thank you. Everything that I just told you is why I will never abandon you and our child. My family was taken away from me. I won’t walk away from this one.”
Fresh tears filled her eyes, spilling silently down her cheeks. She opened her mouth to say something but then shut it again and just hugged him tight.
Before long, they fell asleep like that, with Amelia in his arms. And for the first time in his life since that disastrous day when he’d lost his parents, he felt like he’d come home.
Chapter 9
Amelia woke early, the weak February sun spilling in her window. Grayson lay beside her, his arm wrapped around her middle, holding her close. They were both still fully clothed and, as near as she could tell, once she’d finally fallen back to sleep the night before, neither of them had moved once.
She carefully slipped from his hold and disappeared into her bathroom. Ten minutes later, she left him sleeping and padded to the kitchen to find her houseguests with their arms around each other as they laughed at something. Cappy, the golden puppy, sat at their feet, staring adoringly up at them. She grinned at them. “Well, hello.”
“Good morning,” Silas said, letting go of Levi as his eyes twinkled and a huge smile broke out on his face.
“Morning.” Levi flushed pink and gave her a smile of his own. It was clear the pair had worked out their differences for the moment at least.
Amelia glanced around at the breakfast they’d made. “What’s all this?”
“A thank you for… everything,” Silas said. “We weren’t sure what you and Grayson liked, so we made a little bit of everything.” He gestured to the eggs, bacon, pancakes, and toast.
“Wow. You didn’t have to do all of that. But it looks wonderful. Thank you.” She reached for her coffee pot, but Levi beat her to it.
“I’ve got this. Take a seat. I’ll bring it to you.” He went to work, making a fresh pot while Silas held out a chair for her to sit.
“Decaf please. You guys are really going all out. Really, you didn’t need to do this,” she said. “You two are welcome here anytime.”
Silas and Levi glanced at each other, a silent communication passing between them before Silas sat beside her and said, “It’s not just the hospitality. The advice you and Grayson gave us… Well, let’s just say we worked some things out.”
Amelia watched as they smiled almost shyly at each other. It had been an emotional night for her and Grayson, but the two young men in her kitchen filled her heart with joy. The love between them was undeniable. They really were young, but she truly hoped that they managed to make what they had last. “I’m really happy to hear that.”
“So am I,” Grayson said, appearing in the doorway wearing his wool pants and a white T-shirt. He looked gorgeous with his hair slightly mussed and a two-day beard. His gaze landed on Amelia, and the tender look on his face made her insides melt.
“Morning,” they all said in unison.
He chuckled. “Morning. What’s going on in here?”
“Breakfast,” Silas said, handing him a mug of coffee.
“Thanks, man.”
After Levi passed Amelia her coffee, the two young men stepped back, and Levi said, “We’re going to head out.”
“Is the power back on?” Amelia asked.
Silas shrugged. “I’m not sure. But they cleared the road, so if it’s not, I’ll get packed and then we’ll head to Levi’s place.”
Amelia got up and hugged Levi first. And then when she hugged Silas, she said, “I’m glad we got a chance to get to know you. I’m sorry you’re leaving so soon. If you want me to keep an eye on your place, just say the word.”
“Levi will be there part of the time, but yes. I’d love it if you’d keep an eye on things, especially if there’s a storm.”
“I’m happy to do it.”
Grayson rose and shook both of their hands. “Do good work,” he told Silas. “And when you’re done, remember what’s most important.”
He nodded solemnly, and then the two took off with Cappy at their heels.
“I really like them,” Amelia said, nibbling on a piece of toast.
“They’re good kids,” Grayson agreed.
“Kids.” Amelia chuckled. “I know they are still teenagers, but they are the most mature teenagers I’ve ever met.”
“That happens when one lives an entire lifetime before they’re even a legal adult.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Levi was on his own for a while, and Silas… Didn’t he basically divorce his parents because they were controlling every aspect of his career?”
“Yes, I think so. It’s why he lives in Keating Hollow and Shannon is his manager now,” Amelia said.
“That’s a lot of crap to deal with when you’re still just a kid. It makes sense they’d want stability.”
“It does,” she agreed, and somehow, she inherently knew that he wasn’t just talking about Levi and Silas now. He was reiterating what he’d told her the night before. They might have started their relationship strictly casual, with no strings attached, but that was a thing of the past. Grayson had moved beyond his fear of commitment and was all in. However, as much as she’d wanted to hear those words, things were moving too fast for her to process. “Grayson, we need to talk.”
He put his fork down and sat back in his chair, giving her a concerned look. “Is something wrong?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s just that I feel like we went from zero to two hundred in five seconds flat. Two days ago, you didn’t even know about the baby, and we weren’t anything to each other. Now you’re talking about being all in this with me.” She waved a hand between them. “Whatever this is.”