Land of Nod, The Artifact

by Gary Hoover

  How the hell is this possible?

  He squinted to see what it looked like, but all he could see was his arm turning into a thin, stretched, corkscrewing, waving ribbon stretching into blackness.

  Weird, weird, WEIRD.

  He withdrew his arm and hand, looked at it . . . wiggled his fingers . . . everything seemed completely normal.

  He plunged his arm back into the device and leaned into it. He stretched down - clearly far, far past where he should have hit the floor. As he leaned in, part of his face broke the plane, and, through his right eye, he began to see streaking colors.

  Whoooaa! He jumped back and pulled his head, shoulder and arm completely out as he fell back and skidded uncomfortably on the floor.

  He was breathing quickly and shallowly.

  He leaned back, sitting on the floor with his weight on his arms, and sat for a few moments. He tried to collect himself and catch his breath.

  “That was wild,” he said out loud.

  He looked at the device wondering just what the hell it was actually doing. It was still glowing blue and humming rhythmically.

  Okay, he thought, let’s see how big of an idiot I actually am.

  He moved back toward the device and looked it over. There was a sturdy metal bar welded to the frame. He wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be a handle . . . but it looked strong enough to serve as one.

  Jeff grabbed it firmly. It was solid steel - nearly an inch in diameter - and felt like it could hold hundreds of pounds easily.

  With his right hand on the handle, he leaned his head close to the black field. He moved very slowly and cautiously. The top of his head broke the plane first, and when he rolled his eyes toward his forehead, he could see the top part of his head and hair stretching and waving as his fingers and arm had done.

  When his eyes entered the field, he again saw the streaking colors, but rather than jumping back, this time he tried to stay calm as he looked around.

  It looked like thousands of multicolored lights streaking past him at thousands of miles per hour. He could see something off in the distance toward which he seemed to be hurtling.

  It was a greenish blur that seemed to be growing at a rapid rate. Within a few seconds, it had grown to the point that it looked like it would envelop his head.

  He pulled himself back out.

  He looked around his father’s office. Everything seemed completely normal. He felt fine, a little dizzy, but otherwise clear headed and alert.

  Okay . . . I’m still in one piece . . . so far.

  He was feeling a bit more confident with each step. It doesn’t seem to be doing anything to me. Jeff patted his head and shoulders, making sure everything was solid and intact. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if he found anything out of place.

  He put his head back in, this time with more speed and confidence.

  Again he saw the streaking lights and approaching green blur. This time his head passed through the green blur and then . . .

  . . . He seemed to come to an abrupt stop. His eyes went in and out of focus, and he realized he was overlooking a vast forest. He was about ten feet from the tops of some tall trees.

  He could feel the blood flowing to his head. He looked back to see if he could see back into the office where the rest of his body was, but all he could see was the top of his shoulders emerging through a black circle the same diameter as the inside of the “hole” he had leaned into. The rest of his body and right arm were “stretching” into the blackness as far as he could see and it waved and fluttered like his fingers and arm had from the other side.

  He could still feel the handle firmly in his right hand, and he could feel the floor under his knees. Nothing seemed particularly unusual except that instead of looking into his family room - which was below his father’s office - he was overlooking a forest.

  Which was, of course, IMPOSSIBLE.

  It must be some kind of amazing hologram, he thought.

  And then he did something that, in hindsight, was probably very foolish.

  He spat.

  As the spittle was falling out of his mouth, he wondered what might happen when spit contacted the complex, delicate circuitry of a sophisticated holographic projection device.

  But rather than seeing the wavering image that he thought might result as the spit passed through it and hit the circuit board hidden in the device, it hit some leaves, the leaves bent under the weight of it and some of it dripped and slid off onto other leaves while some of it fell to the ground far below.

  . . .Exactly as it would have on a real tree.

  Amazing!

  He began to actually wonder . . .

  No, that was too crazy . . .

  Wasn’t it?

  The trees and the forest couldn’t actually be . . . real, could they?

  He pulled himself back out of the device and looked around the office.

  He pulled a blank piece of paper off of a yellow pad and crumpled it into a ball.

  He went back to the ring, grabbed the handle and leaned in again.

  He came to a stop - as before - over the forest.

  His left arm dangled, holding the paper ball. He moved it around until it lined up over one of the higher, closer branches. He carefully released it, but some wind caught it and blew it away from the branch at which he had been aiming.

  But while he didn’t hit the branch he intended, the paper did hit several other branches as it tumbled and bounced and eventually settled on the forest floor.

  Everything it did on the way down had been consistent with what it would have done if Jeff had dropped it onto some real trees in a real forest.

  Jeff pulled himself back into the office and sat for several minutes in stunned silence.

  Chapter 8:

  “And THAT’S why the ducks were in my pants.”

  Jeff had no idea what was happening in the show he was watching or why the overweight Irishman in the thick, cable sweater had ducks in his pants.

  His mind was completely occupied with what he had just seen. What was that?

  He ran it through his mind again and again trying to make some sense of it. It couldn’t have actually been real . . . could it? It sure looked real . . . but how would that be possible? Could it just be an EXTREMELY clever illusion? It would have to be very sophisticated. Could it actually be some sort of . . . portal?

  No . . . that’s crazy.

  But what other explanation is there?

  Is it more realistic to believe that it’s a hologram . . . that is able to interact with objects . . . and integrate those objects into its system so that not only does the hologram move appropriately as the object passes through, but deflect the object and allow the object to pass through space . . . that doesn’t actually exist . . . and come to rest in a way that perfectly fits what a person . . . who has spent his entire life observing the complex interactions of physical objects would expect?

  Jeff thought about CGI special effects in movies he had seen, and he thought about how they - no matter how professionally they were rendered - always left subtle clues to the human eye that something just wasn’t right. He could never define or say what it was that wasn’t right, but his experience told him something wasn’t right.

  That forest scene was flawless.

  It looked absolutely perfect. There wasn’t anything about it that seemed unnatural.

  And what about the floor? How could it just not be there after the device turned on?

  Could it really have been a portal?

  As crazy as that sounded, it almost seemed more believable than a perfectly rendered illusion.

  Could that . . .

  Jeff stopped himself.

  Was he really ready to go here?

  Could that . . . be where dad is?

  Jeff shook his head.

  That’s just crazy wishful thinking.

  Isn’t it?

  Based on the keys, the last, real place that Jeff knew his father had been, was in th
at office.

  He stood up and began to pace. He was filled with nervous energy. He felt anxious. He felt apprehensive.

  He felt . . . hopeful.

  He felt foolish.

  Let’s start over, he thought to himself. He clasped his hands behind his head.

  Dad disappeared mysteriously. He wasn’t the sort of person to run away. He didn’t have any enemies or anyone who would want to do him harm. Based on the location of his keys, the last place he was known to have been was in his office. There was a mysterious . . . portal . . . in his office.

  Is it possible . . . is it likely . . . that he went into the portal? Do any other explanations make sense? Am I just thinking it’s possible because that’s what I want to believe?

  Jeff sat heavily on the bed, and then jumped right back up again. His muscles were like over-wound springs.

  Okay, let’s assume it’s possible. What now? Should I tell someone?

  . . . No, they’d just take over and push me aside. What would dad want? He certainly wouldn’t want a bunch of officious busy-bodies climbing all over his marvelous discovery.

  Jeff made up his mind.

  Chapter 9:

  Jeff ran his finger along the labels on the stacks of boxes: Christmas decorations, old toys, Halloween . . .

  Here!

  . . . He yanked the box and nearly toppled the whole stack. He steadied the other boxes, and was then able to carefully slide the one he wanted out of the stack. He let it drop to the floor in front of him and then, after making sure the rest of the stack wasn’t going to topple, lifted the lid.

  It was as he remembered - filled with rock climbing supplies that Jeff had used many times when he had gone climbing with his father. There were ropes, pulleys, harnesses, carabiners etc.

  Jeff grabbed a long rope and several carabiners.

  He half ran, half stumbled back down the attic ladder, folded it back up, pushed the door and let the springs pull it the rest of the way until it SLAMMED loudly.

  Jeff cringed. For a very brief moment he expected to hear his father scold him to be more careful.

  He made his way back toward the office and suddenly became aware of each footfall. Once he had decided this was what he wanted to do, he couldn’t move fast enough, but he also had a fear that something would happen to stop him.

  He made his way back to the device – being careful not to knock anything over in his haste. He dropped the large coil of rope, which fell with a thud beside the device and began examining the bar he had used to secure himself previously.

  Seems solid enough, he thought as he tugged on it and visually examine the size, shape and apparent sturdiness. He attached a large carabiner to the “handle” and then yanked on that to verify the strength of the system. He looped the rope through it and was nearly ready to descend into the portal. . .

  He paused.

  I’m going into some strange . . . zone . . . that I know nothing about. There is no way to know what to expect. He had been running on adrenaline, but now he felt like he needed . . . something.

  . . . A weapon or something to protect himself.

  Jeff’s father didn’t have any guns.

  Then Jeff had an idea.

  He made his way back out of the office and down the hallway to the bedroom and from there to his closet. He pushed and threw things aside – not at all concerned or even conscious of the mess he was making – until . . .

  Here!

  He lifted his aluminum baseball bat. He held it firmly in his right hand and slapped at it with his left hand – trying to feel the solidness and strength of it.

  That should give me some protection. . . . against anyone or anything that isn’t too much bigger or stronger than me, he thought to himself.

  He went back to the office and stood in the doorway trying to think if there was anything else he needed. He looked at the door. Should I leave it open? No . . . if I leave it open, mom might come strolling in.

  He closed and locked the door, dropped the keys in his pocket and then turned off the light.

  It seemed pitch black for a moment, but his eyes quickly re-adjusted. He stumbled toward the portal, feeling his way as he went.

  Jeff paused as he reached the edge of the device and exhaled forcefully.

  Should I really do this? Am I being an idiot? What am I getting myself into?

  He had more questions than answers. Part of him realized this wasn’t a very good idea, but that was countered by the fact that . . . he had more questions than answers. Curiosity can be a strong motivator.

  What kind of world would this be if we always let our minds get in the way of our hearts?

  . . . One with a lot less discovery, innovation and achievement.

  . . . And one with a lot fewer White House interns with stained blue dresses.

  Oh, hell . . . If I keep thinking about it, I’ll never do this.

  Jeff dipped a toe into the portal which hummed to life. The blue light lit his face. He pulled on the rope, made sure it was secure, tucked the bat under his arm, wrapped the rope around him, threw the end into the opening and watched it twist and wave in the blackness.

  He stepped into the opening, this time going feet first rather than head first.

  He glanced down and could see his body twisting and stretching below him. That visual was quite disconcerting, so he looked back up, focused on the solid feel of the rope and continued lowering himself.

  Lights flashed by his head, and within a few moments, he was hanging over the forest. Above him, he could see the rope dangling through a black circle that seemed suspended in the sky.

  Jeff looked down and saw the trees below him. He lowered himself through the branches which scratched painfully as he dropped through them. He went slowly, slowly, keeping a good hold on the rope, but it was getting difficult to maintain his concentration as the branches scratched and whipped at him.

  When he was about ten feet from the ground, his right foot got caught on a branch and upended him. He desperately tried to keep a hold on the rope, but he was twisted and tangled in a way that made it very difficult to right himself.

  The bat slipped and the thick end hit Jeff in the head with a resounding ‘bonk’.

  That was enough to throw off the intense concentration he had been using to prevent a fall to the forest ground below.

  Jeff had just enough time to think: This is going to hurt, before his back made hard, bone jarring, teeth rattling contact with the ground.

  He had the very unpleasant, but relatively familiar feeling of having the wind knocked out of himself. He was on the ground, and he clutched his stomach instinctively as he desperately gasped and tried to get air into his lungs.

  While he had a familiarity with the sensation, he still couldn’t prevent panicking. Colors flashed in his eyes and he could hear himself making sickening sounds as he struggled to get some air.

  His lungs slowly filled and he began to regain normal breathing. He tried to remain still and calm as he rested on the forest floor. He willed his head to clear and his body to get back to a regularly functioning rhythm.

  . . . But before he actually had much time to regain his composure, Jeff saw something moving out of the corner of his eye and tilted his head to get a better look.

  About 15 feet away there was an odd . . . animal. It was about the size of a rabbit and looked generally like one but with small ears, a long, naked tail, long hind-legs combined with very short fore-legs and a bi-pedal stance that gave it the general shape of a very small, furry, rodent Tyrannosaurus Rex.

  Jeff reached for his bat which was about a foot away from his right hand. As his hand fumbled and then closed around the bat, the rodent saw him and froze.

  The two stared at each other, motionless, for a few moments. Jeff heard a sound, looked up and saw something falling from a tree-branch above the rodent.

  It looked like a jellyfish - about 18 inches in diameter - but less regularly shaped than a jellyfish and without tentacles. .
. almost like a huge amoeba. It fell onto the rodent and enveloped it. Jeff could see the frightened animal through the semi-transparent body of the bizarre creature. The rodent was struggling violently to try to escape, but it was completely trapped and didn’t seem to be making any progress.

  After about 30 seconds, its struggling stopped, and Jeff could see the ghastly look of death on the rodent’s face.

  Jeff pulled his bat tightly to his chest, raised himself shakily to his feet and then slowly backed away.

  Chapter 10:

  Now what?

  Jeff was surrounded by tall trees. Even though the sun was nearly directly overhead, the shade from the trees made it almost dark where Jeff stood. The non-tree plant-life was minimal. Jeff assumed that the lack of light prevented lush growth.

  He could see what appeared to be a clearing a few hundred yards away, and he thought it might be a good idea to head that way. The strange creatures he had seen had creeped him out and he wanted the comfort of bright day-light.

  Maybe that will give me a hint of where to go from here.

  He hadn’t really thought it all through. He didn’t really think that his father would be standing there waving when he arrived . . . but he didn’t really think that he wouldn’t be there either.

  He didn’t really think about anything.

  In the back of his mind, he had realized that if he had stopped to think about it too much, he likely wouldn’t have done anything. And his heart had been lobbying, VERY HARD, for him to charge ahead. It was as if his heart had kicked open the door to his brain and dropped a satchel filled with bundled hundred dollar bills on the desk: ‘I’m sure we can come to some kind of understanding on this.’

  When he was about 50 feet from the clearing, he froze. He saw some movement at the base of a nearby tree. He clenched his bat tightly and tried to get a better look. From a hollow in the tree, emerged a HUGE beetle - about 2 feet in diameter with sharp, six-inch mandibles. The beetle climbed out of the tree and headed away from him into the clearing.