Secret Admirer

by Gail Sattler

  For the first time since Todd started working at Kwiki Kouriers, Shannon could hardly wait for his arrival.

  This time, however, when Todd walked through the main office on his way to the dispatch area, he wasn’t alone; he was deep in conversation with Gary, his supervisor. Shannon couldn’t interrupt, especially with such a delicate personal matter. It would have been bad enough if any of her female coworkers found out, but she certainly didn’t want any of the men to know, least of all, Gary. Gary had asked her out a few times, and she’d turned him down so she didn’t want him to suspect a potential romance was growing right under his nose, even if it was one-sided.

  By the time Shannon had an opportunity to talk to Todd alone, she’d lost her courage. Years ago, she knew he would have laughed at her trepidation about an unknown suitor attempting to woo her from a distance, since she wasn’t the romantic type.

  Still, the notes and the effort the Secret Admirer was making touched her heart in a strange way. She didn’t want to hurt the man; she only wanted him to stop.

  She wanted to think Todd would understand why she felt that way, but she wasn’t sure he would. Not that Todd was completely insensitive; she had seen occasional flickers of a gentle side, especially since he’d been working there. She simply decided he wouldn’t understand why she couldn’t let it run its course and stop.

  She figured he’d tell her to enjoy it, too. Todd had always had an insatiable need for attention. He didn’t know when to quit, and he often created a scene when he knew people were watching him. Shannon didn’t like to be the center of attention. She just wanted to be left alone, and that included anonymous romantic notes.

  ❧

  Shannon flipped the page on her desk calendar. It was Friday. Only one more day until the weekend when she could either put this foolishness behind her or spend some serious time trying to figure out the identity of her mysterious admirer. For a second, she considered coming in over the weekend and dusting for fingerprints.

  Sure enough, Shannon found another note in her drawer, as she had the previous four days.

  After she made a cursory check to see if anyone was watching, she untied the bow, popped the chocolate kiss into her mouth, and opened the roll of paper.

  This time the note wasn’t a poem at all; it was a message, and it was longer. Rather than take the chance that someone would see it in walking by, she quickly folded it, stuck it in her pocket, ran into the ladies’ washroom, and shut the door. She dug the note out of her pocket.

  Dearest Shannon,

  As you can tell by now, I’m not very good at writing poetry, so I will simply tell you what is in my heart. You are sweet and wonderful, and your laugh warms my soul like the spring sunshine, filling me with hope and happiness. Please keep smiling.

  Your Secret Admirer

  Shannon’s lower lip quivered, and she brushed a tear away from her eye. Who was this man, and why was he doing this? Did he think she might scorn him if he asked her out? A couple of the men besides Gary had asked her for a date, and it was true she had turned them down, but she had done it kindly. She didn’t want to be yoked with an unbeliever, so she didn’t open the potential for heartbreak by dating someone who didn’t share her faith.

  She read the note again, then refolded it and tucked it in her pocket.

  She would have to dig seriously for clues.

  The first would be handwriting comparisons. Monday morning she would come in early. Not only did she have access to people’s payroll forms and files, but she also had access to all the time cards. She could start by comparing signatures and see if that would give her some indication of who this could be.

  She would solve this mystery, and when she found out who was behind it she would—

  Shannon shook her head. The first few notes were kind of silly, but the last note had touched her heart. It exuded a simple honesty that told her the sender was, indeed, serious. It was flattering beyond belief that someone thought so much of her yet was so shy he would resort to this.

  For the rest of the day, Shannon buried herself in her work. Over the weekend, she would devise a plan to discover the sender of the notes, as well as figure out what she would say to this person. But for now, she had a payroll deadline to meet.

  ❧

  Todd walked to his car ahead of Shannon, waved at her as they started their engines, and waved again to signal her to go ahead of him. When she was out of the parking lot, Todd shut off his engine and returned to the building.

  The only remaining employees at this hour were in the dispatch office and warehouse, and everyone was running around at what was always the busiest time of the day. The drivers were lined up at the bay doors, bringing everything in for distribution to be organized for delivery the next business day. As usual, Friday night was the busiest of all.

  He could have danced in with colored spotlights, wearing a clown suit, and whistling Dixie. No one would have given him a second glance. And that was just the way he wanted it.

  Todd walked to Shannon’s desk, opened her drawer, dropped in another note, chocolate kiss attached, and left the building.

  Four

  “Excuse me. I was supposed to be in early today.”

  Faye stepped back for Todd, allowing him to stand beside Shannon while he filled his mug with coffee and Shannon poured boiled water from the kettle into her mug.

  Todd winked at Faye over his shoulder, then turned to smile at Shannon while he deliberately overfilled his coffee mug. Balancing it carefully, he slowly began his trek through the office on the way to his station. Mentally, he counted out the time Shannon would take to dunk her tea bag in the water until it was the right color and toss the tea bag into the garbage pail.

  Picturing her task completed, he sloshed coffee over the edge of his mug to make a large splash on the floor. He grumbled loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear, set his cup down on the nearest desk, and returned to the lunchroom. His timing was perfect. He met Shannon in the doorway as she was on her way out, and he was on the way in.

  He stepped to the side to allow her to pass. “I spilled some coffee on the floor. Don’t trip. I need a paper towel.”

  “Serves you right for cutting in front of Faye.”

  He winked at her, enjoying the slight blush. “She didn’t mind.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “I think she likes me.”

  Shannon mumbled something under her breath he didn’t think he wanted to hear and headed across the room to her desk.

  Todd hurried back into the lunchroom. While he tugged a few paper towels from the holder, he calculated the seconds Shannon would take to set her mug on the corner of her desk and walk around it as she always did. Once back in the office area, he smiled at the ladies who were nearby as he returned to the splotch on the floor. He squatted down to wipe it at the same time Shannon sat in her chair. He had deliberately spilled his coffee where he would have an unencumbered view of her as she opened her drawer.

  From his vantage point near the floor he watched as she hesitated. She turned her head ever so slightly from side to side to see if anyone was watching, which fortunately didn’t include him, even though she was aware he was there. She pulled the drawer open.

  He heard her soft intake of breath when she saw the note. Again, her head moved from side to side. She paused and gently pulled the ribbon open. Todd’s heart pounded as he mentally recited the words he’d worked so hard to write.

  Dearest Shannon,

  Monday is here, the weekend is gone.

  Which is good, because Saturday and Sunday were much too long.

  My heart ached with loss. I didn’t know what to do.

  I couldn’t see your smile from home, and I missed you.

  Your Secret Admirer

  Moving ever so slowly, she tucked the note back into the drawer.

  Todd lowered his head and smiled to himself as he swiped the paper towel over the floor one last time. She didn’t throw the note in the garbage can, and she was e
ating the chocolate kiss, meaning that so far all was well.

  He stood, tossed the paper towel into the nearest waste-paper basket, and picked up his mug. He slurped some coffee off the top, then began walking toward the dispatch office.

  Shannon raised her head and looked straight at him. “Todd, may I ask you something?”

  His heart stopped, then started up in double time. The only reason she would want to talk to him would be to ask him about the note she had just read. He wasn’t ready to talk about the note or any of the others before it. He hadn’t even completely figured out what he was going to say, day after day. He simply wanted to keep telling Shannon how special she was and that she held his heart in the palm of her hand. Not that she would fall in love with him just because he wrote bad poetry. His goal was to prove he was serious and really did love her, despite the rotten and immature things he’d done to her in the past. Hopefully, when the time came for him to reveal himself, they could put the past behind them and move forward into a real relationship.

  But he couldn’t talk about any of that now. He was already nervous about what he was doing and still not confident it would work. In fact, he was afraid he might blurt out how he felt if she confronted him. He didn’t want that to happen in the middle of the office. Most of all, he didn’t know if he could handle her rejection.

  He wrapped his fingers around his mug, glanced at the door to the dispatch area, then turned back to Shannon. “Gary wanted me here early today to go over some special requests for a new customer. How about if I catch you at lunchtime?”

  Her posture sagged, not much, but just enough to note her disappointment. “I guess. I’ll see you later then.”

  Todd walked to his station as quickly as he could with his full coffee mug. He almost had to push the image of Shannon reading his latest note out of his mind so he could begin his perusal of the paperwork Gary had already spread out over the counter.

  He was now starting the fourth week of his job. He was familiar with procedures, better acquainted with the rest of the staff, and confident enough in his abilities that he was comfortable working there.

  The words on the papers blurred before him. After seeing Shannon every day, he was also more in love with her than ever before.

  But, before he could think any more about Shannon, Gary appeared beside him. He rested his finger on one of the requests their new customer had stipulated before signing the contract. During their last meeting, they had been trying to determine if the expense of paying the overtime needed to fulfill the request would be worth it to secure the new business. “We’ve got everything covered except for this. What do you think?”

  Todd cleared his throat, which helped clear his thoughts. “If we can convince Charlie to take his coffee break half an hour later, then we can send him here”—he pointed on the map to an area on one of the other drivers’ runs—“and send Tyler in the other direction. With the slight delay, we can send Charlie to the industrial park, then to their new warehouse in the new development. That way, we can meet their schedule without compromising the other appointments. We can get Bob and Hank to do the rest of Charlie’s run and use hired cartage or a part-timer to do what Bob and Hank leave behind. That would eliminate the need for any overtime.”

  Gary rubbed his chin. “I never thought of that. That would work. Great idea.”

  Todd suppressed his smile. “Thanks,” he mumbled, trying not to look like a child receiving praise from his favorite teacher.

  Gary gathered the papers and began sorting them back into order. “I see you’re friendly with Shannon,” he said, without looking at Todd. He paused, letting the silence hang.

  Todd’s satisfaction for a job well done dropped as heavily as a lead balloon. He didn’t know why the relationship he had with Shannon was any of his supervisor’s concern, but Gary’s continued silence told him he was waiting for clarification.

  Todd turned to study the man. He didn’t know what Shannon thought of him. He only knew Gary and Shannon appeared to share nothing more than a companionable working relationship. But Todd wasn’t stupid or blind. Even though Gary, as the operations manager, spent much of his time in his office, he also worked with Todd and the other two dispatchers. While the men worked, they talked.

  Bryan was happily married with a baby on the way, but Gary and Rick were both single. Being single, and not Christians, they talked a lot about women, not all of which Todd wanted to hear. So far, he’d heard a few of their opinions of the women who worked in the office, some complimentary, some not. Fortunately, not much had been said about Shannon, probably because it was obvious he knew her prior to working there. He had a bad feeling that was about to change.

  “Yeah, I’ve known her for years. Why?”

  “Just wondering. I saw you talking to her again this morning. I was wondering if you two had anything going—that’s all.”

  The short conversation he’d had with Shannon raced through his head. They’d said nothing of significance, only that they would talk again at lunchtime.

  Todd continued to watch Gary, who was still fiddling with the papers in the folder. After listening to Rick and Gary for the past three weeks, Todd knew Rick made it a policy never to date women at work, just in case things ended badly and they had to see each other every day. But Gary had no such standards or considerations. He had dated Jody, a woman in the credit department, for awhile. Every time Jody and Gary were in the lunchroom at the same time, Jody began acting strange. Gary, on the other hand, showed no signs of awkwardness, aversion, or regret. He didn’t know Gary well enough yet to know if that was good or bad.

  As much as he wanted to know why Gary was asking, unless Todd could claim something more positive than Shannon’s finally being able to stay in the same room with him without wanting to run after three minutes, he had no grounds to suggest a relationship that wasn’t there.

  He tried to make it sound as good as he could without lying. “We’re old friends from back when we were kids.” At least Shannon had been a kid and just part of the package of his friendship with Craig. But now, he kicked himself for not appreciating what could have developed between them, if he had treated her with the respect she deserved.

  He fought back a grin at the last time he’d teased her about playing hockey with the big boys. She’d defiantly given him a hip check as potent as any of the guys. He’d had a bruise for a week to remind him she didn’t just deserve the respect; she demanded it.

  Todd became serious as he turned his thoughts back to his supervisor. Gary’s sudden questions were starting to worry him.

  “So you know her pretty well then?”

  Todd tried to keep his expression casual. He knew Shannon well enough that he would marry her tomorrow, if she’d have him, which at this point she wouldn’t. But if his words on paper could open her heart to accept the new man he had become, then, sometime in the future, living with her forever as man and wife might be a real possibility. He knew what she liked and didn’t like, and he loved her more than life itself.

  He cleared his throat. “I know her very well, actually.”

  “Anything else?”

  Todd opened his mouth, but no words came out. He wanted to tell Gary that he and Shannon were going to be bound together until the end of time, except that Shannon had only recently began speaking to him again. He was stuck—for the time being.

  “By the way,” Gary added before Todd could answer, “if you’re not, you know, doing anything with Shan, I think Faye’s pretty interested in you.”

  Inwardly, Todd cringed. He knew Faye had a crush on him. He also knew she wasn’t a Christian. Shannon’s faith through the years, in good times and bad, was one of the many things he loved about her. Even if she never returned his feelings, he wouldn’t go out with someone who didn’t share his faith. He tried to be kind to Faye without encouraging her. While he was flattered by her attentions, he wasn’t interested. He was interested only in Shannon.

  He didn’t quite know
how to handle Gary yet, but he did know that humor had always worked for him. Todd splayed both hands over his heart and sighed melodramatically. “I know about Faye, but my heart belongs to another.”

  Gary rolled his eyes. “You’ve been watching too many cheap chick flicks. I think you have some work to do.”

  Todd gladly picked up his book of notes to follow up on, sat at his station, and lifted the phone to dial. He had never been so glad to get to work.

  By the time the lunch hour arrived, Todd was more than ready. Like every other day, he was alone in the dispatch office for half an hour while Rick and Bryan went for lunch. Gary was in his office catching up on the morning’s happenings, but he was prepared to come into the dispatch area if the phones went wild while Todd was alone.

  Fortunately for Todd, everything remained quiet, and for now, his paperwork was done. He’d finished the routing for the pickup requests received so far. Even most of the drivers were now officially off for their break.

  Line 3 was lit up. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Gary was on the phone. As long as the light was on, Gary would remain in his office.

  As usual at this time, Todd had nothing to do but watch the wall. He began to write the note Shannon would read on Tuesday morning.

  Dearest Shannon,

  The pen froze. He knew she had become more curious about the sender of the notes because she was going to talk to him about it, until he put her off.

  Todd looked down at his own handwriting. He didn’t want the notes to be perceived as threatening in any way so he had decided to handwrite them, to give them a friendly and personal touch, instead of typing them on his computer and printing them. But now, staying anonymous had become more of an issue. As far as he knew, Shannon had never seen his handwriting. Since he was salaried and not hourly, he didn’t fill out a time sheet at the end of the week. When the drivers had overtime, he initialed their time cards, but that was only a scribbled TS, which he usually did standing, without a solid surface behind them. His initials were not even close to use as a comparable handwriting sample.