The Sunset Strip Diaries

by Amy Asbury

  Journal Entry 2/13/92

  Went to hang with Robbi Black last night. Well, hang with him in a crowd of people, really. Strange lost a $250 contact lens when we were on the way to some girl’s house and he was all upset the whole night. When we all got back to Alleycat’s apartment four hours later, he got down on his hands and knees in a bunch of debris by the elevator and found the lens! And I don’t just mean a few crumbs on the floor, I mean like, broken plaster and rocks- there was a broken wall. How does one find a tiny clear piece of glass? While completely drunk, at that? We were screaming at the miraculous sight. We drank a lot at the apartment and I woke up at four in the morning in a sitting position on their couch. There was a Clint Eastwood movie on. Michael and Strange were sleeping on the other broken couches. I cleared a path through all the beer cans and bailed.

  Robbi looked like he would be a dick because he was so attractive, but the truth was that he was a little bit shy. Women were mobbing him all the time and he almost didn’t know how to handle it. Tricia came out with me the next night, saw him, and screamed at me in her crow voice with a hint of a British accent from her mother, “He is gorgeJAS! Oh my gawd!”

  Jimmy’s band’s songs started playing on the radio at that time. They started doing photo shoots. Razz and Teddy were impressed, which made me roll my eyes at how easily they were swayed from thinking he was out of style, ugly and uncool. Robbi commented that he liked the band as well. I was doubly annoyed.

  One weekend, I went to a party with the Glamour Punks where Dizzy Damage (who would sadly die a few years later) started violently throwing bananas. He then did a flying leap onto a dining room table, sending all of its contents crashing to the ground (alcohol bottles are loud when breaking, so it was a great scene). It was at that party that Michael introduced me to the new dancer he and Strange were living with, a girl named Collette. She was tall and brunette, sort of a Sandra Bullock type. I had heard she was a rival of Missy’s through the grapevine; they had dated the same guy at some point and didn’t like each other.

  I went to visit Razz one night soon thereafter. He had moved back to the condo with Dusty and good old Holly, who spent that particular night puking for hours on end. I stood there with a bowl while he wiped his face and blew his nose. I held back his hair like he was a girl. Later, he started crying really hard; it was horrible. I wanted to hug him and hold him- the guy always seemed so miserable. Razz, not fazed by his friend’s sickness and sadness, started looking me up and down and told me I looked really good and that I blew Missy away. He usually critiqued me, telling me I was overweight or I needed some Laminates or something like that. He made me step back, looked me over and said Jimmy had been a lucky guy. I was shocked because he was my friend- it made me uneasy. Where was this coming from? Then he said I was his little sis and he wasn’t letting anyone fuck with me, even ten times more than before. Then he handed me a bottle of nail polish and put his thumb out on the table. I laughed inside, and painted his nails.

  I partied with Tweety from Big Bang Babies the next week and got more of a peek into his life. I was completely fascinated by him because he seemed to be the only person in all of Hollywood who was in on a big joke. He didn’t take himself too seriously, was always calmly dragging on a cigarette and never worried about a thing. He was there to have fun; his life did not depend on being signed to a record label like the rest of them. It was as if he saw an opening to where he could live the good life and he was smart enough to capitalize on it.

  Journal Entry 3/22/92

  If I ever mention Tweety again, slap me. His blond girlfriend is some rich chick- one of the LaFabula Twins, whoever they are. She looks like an old film star: Platinum white Jean Harlow hair, long fake eyelashes, big boobs and hips, plump cheeks, glamorous clothes. I thought her name was Gypsy at first, but it is Tipsy. Tipsy LaFabula. She has a house up in Laurel Canyon. Tweety gets everything he wants, I am sure. I will never have a chance with him. Strange and I climbed the gnarly old stone stairway up the ivy covered hills to their house the other night. We had to duck under rails and step over potted plants, finally coming to a deck that led to the front door. The first thing I saw in the living room were a bunch of blond wigs on Styrofoam heads that were perched on the mantle over the fireplace. There were black rabbits running freely around the room amongst piles of board games and all of the clocks were set to different times. It was like Alice in Wonderland.

  “I call this the do room,” said Tweety, giving us a tour of the place, “Because I don’t know what to do with it.” He gave a wave of his hand over the room and inhaled on his cigarette. I peeked into a bathroom that had an old fashioned, footed tub. A winding staircase led down to more rooms, most of which were empty. Once we got back upstairs, Tweety announced that he was going to make the living room into a haunted house, just to freak people out. He pointed to a little bat hanging from the ceiling. “See? I already started.”

  Tipsy, in bare feet and a long 1930’s evening gown, stepped over a low lacquered table and invited us to sit down. We sat on pillows on the black and white checked floor as a bunny hopped by on soft paws. Tweety brought out a deli platter that he had arranged with little sword toothpicks. Tipsy sipped a cocktail and held up the glass to show a straw that changed colors from purple to pink.

  “He buys such necessary things when he goes shopping.”

  Kit Ashley, Tweety’s bandmate from Big Bang Babies, showed up with a petite platinum blond girl with crystal blue eyes. He dropped her hand and came straight to me.

  “Strange, is this your action?”

  “No, she is my really good friend.”

  “Who are you?” he said, staring into my eyes. “Oh my God. Marry me. Are those your real eyes?”

  He kept trying to paw me and I removed his hands.

  I was drunk, but I do remember Tweety saying, “Someday, I would like to eventually learn how to play the bass,” no matter that he already played his bass to unsuspecting screaming crowds on the weekends who thought he was a god.

  “It is good enough how it is right now. I don’t really want to be a musician. I just want everything that comes with it.”

  Journal Entry 3/29/92

  Willa’s apartment is a mess and Collette’s is thrashed. Spending all of that time at their places makes me appreciate the clean, palace of luxury I live in now. Okay, so it is a little house in the Valley- so what. My mom cleans and there is food in the fridge. I can never move to Hollywood; I would lose it and become like all of them. They don’t have plates. They don’t have food to put on plates. They live in pigsties. People come in and out of their apartments, sleeping on floors or on furniture- if there is any. Being at these girls’ places makes me ill. So trashy and dirty with bugs and backed up garbage disposals and bathrooms full of hair.

  I was partying a lot, but I still had something in my life that made me feel secure, no matter what happened. Jimmy. I still loved him and still knew in my heart that I would always have him there. I felt comforted to know he loved me, in the midst of all of the chaos. We were very on again, off again. We had so many breakups, I didn’t even mention them all here. We always got back together, until one day in April of 1992.

  Willa was old enough to get into the Cathouse. One day she told me that she saw Jimmy there while he was still dating me, ferociously making out with a girl who he had pinned to the wall. I was stunned. I felt a stab in my heart. I was so guilty all of the time about my own flirtations, that I never considered that he would do such a thing. I felt like an idiot. It never occurred to me that it would happen to me. I always thought he was so in love with me that he would never look at another woman. I was a fool!

  Although I had no business even being mad at him considering all of the guys I hung around and the fact that I did have an affair with Roxy, I was still shattered. I was also very grateful to hear the truth and did not shoot the messenger. Willa told me it wasn’t just Jimmy who was a cheater; Pierre had cheated on Tricia. With her. She said she h
ad slept with him in the laundry room of the apartments. That made me feel queasy. I thought Pierre was totally in love with Tricia. Was this what all men were like? Just like my dad? I knew that men were wired to want to be with a lot of women, but it still seemed shocking. Was I that naïve? It was at that point that I truly ended my two-year relationship with Jimmy. I was very heart broken, believe it or not. Even though my life was completely different than it was in the beginning of our relationship, I was very sad to hear he cheated while we were together. I confronted him and he admitted to not just cheating that time at the Cathouse, but cheating all along. Even when I was in the psych ward. Something inside me broke at that point- It was such a deep pain to hear that nothing we had was ever real. Even though I had moved on to my own scene and life, I still held him close to my heart. He had given me love when I most needed it, when no one else around me gave a shit about me. I tried my best to not to disrespect him, but I had. I was publicly disrespecting him every night just by being in the company of so many other guys and flirting with them.

  Journal Entry 4/11/92

  I went over the deep end. I am a lush. I feel like crying every morning when I wake up drunk. It is degrading. Supposedly, I am the major hot item right now. But I can’t enjoy it. I found out Jimmy was cheating on me the whole time we were together. I am so humiliated. I have been getting drunk every night and throwing away any money I have. I fooled around with Kit Ashley. Don’t worry, I didn’t do it. I might as well though.

  I was completely game to sleep with Kit, I didn’t care. I was so hurt and angry with Jimmy, I was willing to do anything. Earlier that night, I spritzed myself with perfume, threw on a lime green dress and went to a party in the hills where I randomly ate some ice cream out of some stripper’s mouth (I know, I know. But I was in Hollywood and that was just a normal occurrence I guess). She was friends with Kit, and asked me what my story was (this was after we were already sharing germs, but that was the way it went). I told her I hadn’t had sex with a guy other than my boyfriend for two years. She asked me how old I was and I told her I was eighteen. She was concerned, for some reason. Most people in Hollywood had no conscience; I didn’t understand why she did. She pulled Kit over and sternly told him how old I was and that I had just broken up with someone and not to do anything stupid. I couldn’t believe it, but he listened to her! I was annoyed.

  Continued…

  I woke up in the morning, called a cab, and ditched Kit. He was like, “Where are you going!? It is seven a.m.!” He called me the next night and told me to be careful. Not sexy. The cab brought me to my car and then I drove to Harmony’s and took him to the beach with me. He was so gentlemanly that it made me sick. We made a date for the next night and he stood me up so I went out with Willa and got drunker than ever. I ran into Razz, my loyal friend. We ran off together and told the whole world to fuck off. He looked at Willa with his eyebrows up and a scrunchie on his wrist and said, “Honey? You need to lose weight. You have no tits and you have two chins.” I cringed. She was furious! I can’t believe I did this, but I burst out laughing right in front of her, because I couldn’t believe what he was saying. But that is Razz for you. She was so mad at me. She started yelling at me and said she didn’t want to meet any more of my friends ever again. Then Razz ran into Missy and told her off (and later he started crying because she hurt him so badly. The cab driver told him to be a man). Then we went to the Rainbow, where Razz ran into his best friend Jay-Jay and told him to fuck off as well- I was standing there egging him on and I don’t even know why. Tricia saw me on a rampage and looked scared, she avoided me. At the end of the night, Razz and I drove up to some house that he was house sitting (a 1970’s sitcom star’s place), and slept in the guy’s huge bed filled with white pillows. I woke up in the morning and started crying. Razz felt bad for me and tried to make light of the whole thing.

  “Oh my God! I told Jay Jay to fuck off! Didn’t I? What did we do to Willa?! Didn’t I knock a lamp on her head? Oh shit!”

  I started laughing through my tears, suddenly remembering how he jumped up and hit a fluorescent light in her apartment building and the plastic cover came down and slammed her in the head when she was already furious.

  “What did we do?” I asked.

  “We told everybody to fuck off!” He said in a high-pitched shriek.

  “Well, I am going to be hanging around you a lot more, because nobody else likes me now,” I said, thinking of Tricia and Willa’s faces.

  I was really affected by Jimmy; my reactions were extreme and my hurt was very deep. I started to feel an explosion of anger toward men in general, so Willa and her cold persona was just what I needed at that time to make me feel better. I felt solace in being around a woman who was an ice queen and took no prisoners (Razz was immune though; he was a rare bird). I didn’t care that she had no soul. She was afraid of no one, which is why she didn’t hesitate to tell on Jimmy. No one else who knew about him told, fearing the social repercussions, but she didn’t give a fuck and I admired that. I wanted to try out her persona, to see if I liked it better than being all sunshine, glitter, and smiles. Besides, I didn’t think I could smile even if I tried, at that point. I was too heartbroken. I clung to Willa to the point of obsession on some days; I didn’t want to be away from her, I didn’t want to lose my strength.

  A bunch of guys tried getting me to be their girlfriend when the word hit the street that I was no longer connected to Jimmy. And even more tried sleeping with me. I had to choose someone to date…who would it be? I went into public relations mode and picked Robbi from Alleycat Scratch. He was safe in my mind because I didn’t feel he could break my heart. I didn’t have a true connection with him, I never got to that place with him. He was sweet, considerate and had been my friend for a while; not to mention he was physically one of the best looking guys in town.

  I hooked up with Robbi eventually and I felt empty and miserable afterwards. I was cursing myself. I knew if I started fooling around with these guys, I would go down the tubes, fast. We had a talk a few weeks later. I told him I regretted hooking up with him and thought it ruined our friendship. We couldn’t even look at each other anymore. And I felt even more foolish, because he had acted as if we would be a couple, but then started to avoid me afterwards. I was so mad at myself for being such a chump. I hadn’t really even clicked with him and thought his personality was too nice for me. We ended up hooking up maybe two or three times after that, but nothing came of it.

  I started hanging with one of the Seattle guys named Lesli Sanders. He was tall, lanky, and pale with long pink hair and green eyes. Though I normally avoided his crowd at all costs, something struck me about him. He seemed awkward- even shy sometimes. His look was cool; he was very fashionable in the way he presented himself. My crowd avoided his, even when they were at the same party. I thought if I hung out with him, it would go undetected. It did, for the most part.

  I was so hurt and damaged by Jimmy’s betrayal that I tried to take it out on Lesli by humiliating him every chance I got. I guess he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I slammed doors in his face while he was talking to me, I ate in front of him and didn’t ask if he was hungry. I ditched him and left him places. I slapped him across the face when I felt like it. He kept letting me. He really liked me and I didn’t care. If he dared say something about the way I was behaving, I would say, “Are you being a jerk?” and he quickly said no. I felt like shit inside, but kept torturing him.

  So anyway, I didn’t know what to do with myself around all these guys. I was in such a bad state, that things could have gotten out of control very easily. Not only that, but I couldn’t be away from Willa for even a day or I would fall into a crying heap. I decided to move in with her. No matter that she lived in an apartment in a dangerous part of Hollywood, with no food or furniture in it. It was on Cherokee, about a block from the Alleycat Scratch apartment, off Yucca Street. I don’t know what the hell was so irresistible about the situation. Most night
s I heard gunshots and saw police helicopter spotlights shining right on our building. One time we weren’t allowed to leave the building, because a criminal was on the loose inside. Those were the first times I ever heard real gunshots. 18th Street gang ran the neighborhood- and they were no joke. One day Willa and I were walking to the store and had to fall to the ground and cover our heads because someone was firing shots at an armored bank truck. The sun was out, birds were chirping, and bullets were flying. It was so crazy.

  Another day, while I was walking to my car, I saw a dead body covered in a white sheet on the sidewalk. But the scariest thing happened one particular night when I was driving back to the apartment after a night of partying with Willa. We were only half a block from the parking garage, when a car suddenly got right on our tail and started shooting. I couldn’t believe it. I thought, This can’t be happening. I was having fun, going to shows and writing for the school paper...now I am being shot at- what the fuck? I started screaming and ducked down in the car. I couldn’t stop driving or the guy would crash into me. I started crying and was driving with my seat reclined all the way back. I couldn’t even see where I was going! I didn’t crash into anything, luckily. Glass never shattered in my car, so we realized he wasn’t shooting at us. It appeared he was hiding behind us. We heard people yelling on the street corners. He was shooting at the drug dealers! Maybe they were on his turf. I got us into the parking garage and we both sat there in my car, crying and scared. She told me not to look at him if we saw him outside because he would kill us if we could identify him. I started to think that maybe I was in over my head.