The Perfect Mess

by K. Sterling

  “Thank you, I’ve heard a lot about you and it’s nice to finally meet you,” he said and Landon doubted it.

  “Well done,” Landon said out of the side of his mouth then elbowed Lindsey. She elbowed him back before her eyes flicked back and forth between Landon and Ben.

  “So, you two are…” She asked slowly and Landon nodded. He wasn’t sure what she was asking, specifically, but the answer was definitely yes. “And he’s your boyfriend?” She asked and Ben’s eyes were large and dark as he watched Landon.

  “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” Landon announced and Ben’s lips tilted into a loose smile and his eyes became heavy. Whatever it was that Ben was feeling, Landon knew he was too. The room was too hot for clothes and his body almost itched, it wanted to be wrapped around Ben’s so badly. Lindsey cleared her throat and Landon sighed as he pulled his eyes from Ben’s.

  “So…you have a boyfriend,” she mumbled as she went to the table. Landon followed and pulled out a chair. Her eyes were far away as she dropped onto the seat.

  “Are you ok?” Landon asked as he took the seat next to hers. Her mouth opened then closed. She nodded again.

  “I’m fine. It’s just so strange isn’t it?” She asked and Landon frowned.

  “Strange?” He asked then looked at Ben. He was watching them and looked a little too amused. Landon’s head jerked toward the seat next to his and Ben pulled his lips in as he took a seat. Lindsey missed the entire exchange.

  “We all know that you’re gay but we’ve never seen you actually…” Her hand waved dramatically and Ben’s lips twitched.

  “Have sex?” He offered and Landon’s face twisted in horror and Lindsey’s jaw dropped. It hung open for several moments before she started to laugh.

  “I see that I’m going to have to keep on my toes with you,” she said and Ben shrugged. “We’ve never seen you with anyone before. I’ve never known you to go on a date,” Lindsey explained and Landon nodded.

  “I’ve always kept that part of my life separate. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said and Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I am not uncomfortable,” she said loudly and Landon gave her a pointed look.

  “You seem very comfortable,” he said and she rolled her eyes.

  “What do you expect? It’s one thing to know that your brother is gay. Like, he isn’t into girls. But, it’s another thing to know that he’s actually doing things with guys,” she said. “I’m really liberal and I’m all for marriage equality but I just never thought about you being like that,” Lindsey explained and Landon’s lips twisted as he tried to understand.

  “I’m sorry, how can one be gay but not have sex with men?” He asked and Lindsey threw her hands up.

  “I don’t know! I guess I thought you were like philosophically gay but not in practice. Like, you were this adorable gay virgin,” she grumbled and there was a choking noise from Ben. Landon glared, warning him not to laugh.

  “You thought I was a virgin?” Landon asked in disbelief and Lindsey chewed her lip nervously.

  “Well, you never mentioned going out with guys and I’ve never even seen you look at one,” she said defensively. Landon squeezed his temples.

  “I wasn’t going to brag about it or flaunt it. Not with our family,” he said and Lindsey winced. “I may have taken myself off the market recently but that was because I was over all of it. Not because of a lack of interest. I was not a virgin,” he stated firmly. Ben broke. A laugh burst from him and he clutched his middle.

  “Oh, Jesus!” He gasped. “He definitely wasn’t a virgin!” Ben wheezed and Lindsey looked at Landon in shock.

  “Were you a slut?” She asked in hushed surprise and Landon shook his head quickly. Ben howled.

  “No!” Landon protested. “I was on the reasonable side of experienced and even though I was going through a bit of a dry spell recently, it was because I didn’t want to be a slut,” he explained. Oh, my God! Why are you explaining this to your baby sister? He wondered as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and prayed that when he opened them, it would all be a dream and he’d be in bed. Not having the most painful conversation of his life with his sister. It was worse than when he came out. Instead of his mother’s “I see…” and his father’s “If you’re sure, then I guess we’ll just have to live with it,” he was arguing that he’d pulled a decent amount of ass and dick. “Can we talk about something else?” He begged and Lindsey looked relieved.

  “You two are pretty serious, then?” She asked and Landon smiled as he reached for Ben’s hand.

  “I think so,” Landon said as he twined his fingers with Ben’s. He felt Ben’s thumb stroke the inside of his hand and warmth spread up his arm. Lindsey pressed her hand to her chest and her eyes shimmered.

  “Aaawww!” She sighed happily. “Does this mean that you’re staying? You’re not going to California?” She asked hopefully. The warmth was gone. Landon shook his head before he released Ben’s hand and stood up.

  “No. I’m still going, Linds.” He grabbed the bag off the table and looked into it without seeing. “I have to go, I can’t turn down a job I’ve waited my whole life for. And my apartment is on the market and my agent said she’s given some promising tours,” Landon added and Lindsey sagged in her chair.

  “Oh, no,” she mumbled as she fidgeted with her bracelet. “What about you and Ben?” She asked and Landon shook his head as he set the bag on the counter.

  “I don’t know. We’re just making the most of what we have now and not worrying about what’s going to happen later,” he said and Lindsey gave him her “Are you serious?” look. He gave her his “Don’t start.” look and she rolled her eyes. “We’ll figure it out,” Landon stated firmly and she looked dubious. Ben cleared his throat as he stood.

  “As you said, it’s only been two weeks and we’re focusing on enjoying every moment we have, not getting depressed about the future. And it’s been perfect,” Ben added. “I’m going to get dressed and let you two talk,” he said before he waved and escaped to the bedroom. Landon watched as Lindsey’s eyes clung to Ben’s ass. Landon’s sweatpants were a bit tight and hugged the tight globes so well, it was almost indecent. He couldn’t blame her for fanning herself as she stared. He waited until Ben turned into the bedroom before giving her an accusing look.

  “If you’re finished…” He drawled as he leaned against the counter and she shrugged.

  “I wouldn’t mind of he came back out and did it again,” she mumbled. “Nice cakes,” Lindsey declared and Landon choked.

  “No!” He pointed and shook his head. “I don’t know where you heard that, but… No!” Landon said and she shrugged. “I was so discreet you thought I was a virgin, I was so afraid that you’d disapprove or be shocked. You don’t get to call them cakes. Or use any other gay slang,” he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. Lindsey jumped up and rushed around the table.

  “I’m so sorry! It was more about me being uncomfortable with my perfect big brother being a mortal man than me being uncomfortable with you being gay. I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t love and support you completely,” she insisted and Landon practically deflated as the tension left his body as he pulled her into a hug. He knew he’d never have his parents approval but he needed Lindsey’s.

  “Good. I really like him,” he whispered as he rocked her from side to side and she giggled.

  “I noticed. And he’s so amazing. I can tell that you’re really good together,” she said and Landon nodded.

  “We are, it’s been so perfect,” Landon said and Lindsey looked up at him.

  “Then why are you still planning to move?” She asked and he banged his forehead hard against hers, causing her to yelp.

  “Because we don’t know how long it’s going to stay perfect and I can’t turn down my life’s dream for something two weeks old. Even two months old would be insane,” Landon argued and Lindsey shook her head.
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  “No, I guess that would be kind of romantic and dramatic,” she said and Landon glared down at her.

  “You don’t think doing something extreme like that would put way too much pressure on us and scare him off? And what about PixelWorks? Do you know how many people would kill for that job?” He asked and Lindsey’s eyes flicked to the ceiling as she considered.

  “Do you know how many people would kill to find their soul mate and live happily ever after?” She asked and Landon snorted.

  “I don’t know if I’m ready to declare him my soul mate,” he said despite a very loud whisper in the back of his mind that warned that Ben was. Landon stretched his neck, trying to ease the tension in his shoulders. “And I’m not so sure happily ever after really happens.” Landon set Lindsey away from him and went to the fridge to get the bag of chopped fruits and vegetables he’d prepared for Keith. Lindsey pursed her lips as she studied the bag.

  “What about me and Kyle?” She asked and Landon snorted.

  “Yes, just look at you,” he said as he went to the office and Lindsey followed. “You always look exhausted and you run from errand to errand like your pants are on fire. You just got back from a two week cruise and you look like you need another vacation,” Landon said and Lindsey’s eyes misted over.

  “It’s the most wonderful thing you could ever do, Landon,” she whispered and he froze. “Having a family is exhausting because you love them so much you would kill yourself trying to make them happy because they’re your reason for living. Kyle and Molly are my whole world and they’re so precious. I can’t live without them,” Lindsey said shakily and something inside of Landon shivered and unfurled. He swallowed hard and stifled it as Lindsey reached for his cheek. “I pray that one day, you’re as worn out and at the end of your rope as I always am,” she said softly and Landon laughed.

  “We’ll see,” he said as he passed her the box of Keith’s supplies. “As appealing as you make the life of a soccer mom sound, I’m not so sure I’m cut out for it,” Landon said as he picked up Keith’s cage. “Get the doors, I’ll take this to your car.”

  “I’m not so sure,” Lindsey said over her shoulder as she led the way. “I think you’d be a smashing soccer mom. Day drinking and yoga pants could be your thing,” she teased and Landon chuckled as he followed.

  “I’m definitely ok with the day drinking,” he murmured and Lindsey laughed.

  Ten minutes later, Landon smiled as he pushed open the door of his apartment and found Ben leaning over the counter looking at his phone. Landon leaned close and sighed happily as Ben offered his cheek for a kiss.

  “Sorry about all of that,” he said and Ben grinned.

  “It’s fine. We can pick up where we left off later. If you want to have lunch today, you’d better hurry and get ready,” he said and Landon groaned as he pushed away from the counter. “Your sister’s really sweet. And adorable,” Ben added and Landon shook his head as he went into his room. He pulled a light cashmere sweater out of his closet and pulled it over his head.

  “She’s pushy and has no filter,” Landon argued as he grabbed a pair of socks and shoes. “You’ll like Kyle though,” he said as he sat on the bed and put them on.

  “I’m sure I will,” Ben said as he leaned against the bedroom door and Landon pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he ducked into the bathroom to wash up and fix his hair. Once he was presentable he backed Ben into the hall, pecking at his lips as they went. He paused at the office door and frowned. “What is it?” Ben asked and Landon sighed heavily.

  “I’m going to miss Keith,” he mumbled as he stared at the empty spot on his coffee table and Ben made a soothing sound as he pulled Landon into a hug.

  “So will I,” he said gently. “You could always get your own pet. Maybe a real one, like a dog or a cat. Who knows, maybe Lindsey’s right? You might be soccer mom material and be ready for kids of your own,” he teased. Landon hoped he was teasing.

  “I’m not even dignifying that with a response. Let’s go before I starve to death,” he commanded as he pushed Ben to get him moving again.

  Chapter 14

  “So… do you want to talk about whatever it is that you’re pissed off about?” Landon asked as he kicked off his shoes and began unbuttoning his shirt. As far as Landon could tell, the evening had been perfect. They had an excellent dinner and drinks before Ben became quiet and snapped at every question Landon asked during the drive home. By the time they reached the building, Ben was practically seething. Landon looked at Ben expectantly as he tossed his shirt in the laundry basket and Ben bit his lip before he placed his hands on his hips and glared at Landon.

  “Do you pay for everything now because you think of me as the woman in our relationship since I let you fuck me?” He asked and Landon’s eyes flared and he physically jerked back, completely stunned.

  “Ummm… Could you be more ridiculous?” He asked and Ben gave him a hard look.

  “Calling me ridiculous when I’m angry definitely isn’t helpful,” Ben warned and Landon threw his hands up.

  “What else am I supposed to say?” He asked. “First, the fact that you think that my paying for things has anything to do with my perception of your masculinity is absurd.” Landon argued and Ben pulled his shirt over his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Then why do you always do it?” He asked. “And it seems like you started paying for more things after,” Ben added and Landon shrugged.

  “I don’t know why. I guess because I’ve been single for so long, I’m just used to automatically paying for everything and I don’t care. I know it’s a little crass, but I’ve never really worried about money,” he explained and Ben snorted. “Maybe I was hoping you’d put out,” Landon teased and Ben threw him an irate glare. Landon held his hands up defensively. “You’re wrong if you think I started paying more after you let me fuck you. We only went out for drinks, which you paid for and I paid for the pizza. We were even before and it just wasn’t something I gave any thought to after,” he said and Ben calmed. “Second, how could I consider you less masculine if I’m letting you fuck me just as often?” Landon asked and Ben’s mouth opened and closed several times. Landon approached him carefully. “This is all you, Ben. I think this is one of those ethnic cultural things that you’re going to have to sort out because when I look at you, you’re very much a man to me,” Landon insisted and Ben groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

  “Fine. Maybe you’re right. But, from now on, let me have a chance to pay before you grab the check or get the cab,” he said and Landon nodded as he reached for the buckle of Ben’s belt.

  “We’ll take turns?” He asked and Ben nodded as the leather slid through the loops of his jeans. Landon licked his lips as he unzipped and reached into the front of Ben’s boxers. The idea that Ben worried that Landon didn’t think he was masculine was so bizarre to him. For Landon, Ben was the sex god from his dreams. “Actually… I’ve had this dream a few times…” He said and Ben’s head tilted.

  “Oh?” He asked and Landon started to lose his nerve and shook his head.

  “Never mind. It’s nothing,” he insisted as he wrapped his hand around Ben’s erection and stroked. It was so heavy and hot and Landon’s heart raced as he recalled the dreams.

  “Tell me,” Ben commanded and Landon couldn’t stop the shiver that rushed through him. He cleared his throat as he pulled Ben’s cock free and dropped to his knees before him.

  “Sometimes, you’re like this sex priest/god thing and I’m like an offering or a slave,” he said hoarsely and Ben’s erection throbbed as his hand slid around Landon’s jaw.

  “Really?” His voice was gravelly and deep as his fingers twisted in Landon’s hair. Landon nodded.

  “Yes. You’re so strong and your skin is glistening and your eyes are glowing. And I’m on this stone altar type thing. Sometimes, I’m tied down and other times, I just can’t move. Like, maybe I’m drugged.” Landon�
�s face felt hot and he tried to look away but Ben forced him to look up.

  “Then, what happens?” Ben asked and Landon felt bolder as he pushed his hands up Ben’s thighs.

  “You use me,” Landon whispered and Ben groaned as Landon rubbed his lips over the head of Ben’s cock. “You’re so powerful and it’s like you’re draining everything from me,” he added weakly and Ben reached for Landon but he leaned back on his heels. “Use me now,” he begged as he wrapped his hands around Ben’s cock before he took him deep into his throat. Ben hissed then shook his head when Landon pulled at Ben’s hips, urging him to fuck his throat. The idea had taken hold, once Landon put his dreams to words, he wanted them to become reality.

  “I’m not doing that,” Ben insisted as he carefully thrust between Landon’s lips. Landon pulled back as he continued to stroke. He pushed his lip out as he looked up at Ben.

  “But it was so good in my dreams and it would be so disappointing if you didn’t,” he pouted and Ben frowned down at Landon. Landon kept his eyes locked on Ben’s as he lowered and stretched out on his back. He raised his hands over his head and arranged them as if they were tied together. “I want you to make me yours,” he whispered shakily. He felt a little like an idiot but he was also more turned on than he’d ever been in his life as he prayed that Ben would play along.

  “Mine?” Ben asked as his demeanor changed. He rose to his full height and gracefully stepped out of his clothes. His eyes scanned Landon as he walked around his body. “So, in this fantasy, am I more of an indian kind of shaman or is it more pagan…?” Ben asked imperiously as he clasped his hands behind his back and strutted around Landon.

  “More like an Egyptian priest or pharaoh,” Landon panted. Holy shit, I’m going to come before he touches me, he thought as Ben paused at his feet. He was naked and every bit as powerful and intimidating as in Landon’s dreams. Landon swallowed hard then his eyes flared as Ben dropped. It was as if he was floating over Landon. His clothes ripped and almost instantly, he barely felt Ben’s hands move, his cock and chest were exposed. Landon gasped in shocked delight as he stared up at Ben. He was definitely playing along. An exhilarated rush of anticipation and lust swept through Landon. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Ben as he panted and waited, stretched and exposed on the floor.