The Perfect Mess

by K. Sterling

  “We’re going to have a to find a way to convince her to get tested,” Landon murmured and Ben nodded.

  “She says she will later, she wants to enjoy her life without the weight of that hanging over her,” he explained and Landon nodded in understanding.

  “I get that but aren’t there things she can do to be proactive and reduce the risk of her getting cancer?” He asked and Ben grimaced.

  “She wants to have children before she’d have to have her ovaries removed and she’s afraid of losing her breasts. She hasn’t talked to Jason about it but she’s worried he wouldn’t stick around if she had to go through with something like a preventative mastectomy,” Ben said and Landon wished he could tell Ben she had nothing to worry about. His instincts told him that Jason loved her and would stay by her side but Relationship Jason was very different from the Man-Whore Jason he lived with. In a lot of ways, he was like an entirely different person.

  “Well, if he doesn’t, he was never good enough for her and she’s better off without him,” Landon stated. He wanted to say that he’d be there to help her get through it. Over the last few weeks they’d gone on a lot of double dates with Michelle and Jason and Landon had fallen in platonic love with Michelle. She was a bubbly, louder, tinier, feminine version of Ben and it was incredibly entertaining watching her push his buttons. He didn’t know where his relationship with Ben was headed but he hoped that he would be able to support Michelle, in some way, if she had to go through something like that.

  “I think he’s in it for the long haul,” Ben said. “He loves her and I think she should tell him. He deserves to be part of her decision making process.” His eyes were distant and Landon waited as Ben made his own decision. He nodded faintly before he looked back at Landon. “He wants to have a future with her, he should know,” Ben stated and Landon couldn’t fault his judgement.

  “Maybe we should all sit down and have a talk about this,” he suggested as he wrapped his arms around Ben’s shoulders and Ben nodded.

  “I think she’ll listen if it’s coming from you too,” he said as he pulled Landon tight against him. “But I don’t want to talk about anything else heavy tonight. This was supposed to be about us and fun,” Ben mumbled as he pressed his face into Landon’s hair. Landon took a cleansing breath then smiled.

  “So, you’re only half serious, then?” He asked and Ben looked confused as he pulled his head back. Landon cocked his head toward their plates. “I got rice and peas but no goat,” Landon explained and Ben rolled his eyes.

  “Do you know how hard it is to get goat?” He asked and Landon held his hands up.

  “That’s fine. I get that I’m not worth the effort,” he muttered as he picked up his fork and poked at his chicken. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “I’m perfectly happy with just sort of serious chicken,” Landon said and Ben snorted as he elbowed Landon.

  “Oh, my God, shut up,” he groaned. “I’ll cook you some curried goat tomorrow. I’ll search the whole damn city if I have to,” Ben said and sighed as he reached for his wine and Landon laughed.

  “You don’t have to. This chicken is amazing,” he insisted as he helped himself to a second serving. “I’m not a big fan of curry anyways, so this is perfect,” Landon added and Ben shook his head as he swallowed.

  “Nope. I’m making goat tomorrow and you’re eating it,” he warned and Landon wrinkled his nose.

  “Do I have to, mom?” He whined and Ben chuckled as he leaned close and nipped Landon’s ear.

  “You can’t leave the table until you clean your plate,” he whispered as his hand slid up Landon’s thigh. “And I’d hate for you to miss dessert,” Ben purred and Landon was torn. He wanted to eat until he couldn’t breathe but he also wanted to fuck Ben. Very badly all of a sudden.

  “Can we leave the table now?” He asked as he guided Ben’s hand to the bulge in his jeans and Ben hummed as he squeezed and stroked. Landon shut his eyes and scooted his hips lower in the seat so Ben could rub more of his length.

  “I thought you wanted to eat more,” Ben murmured as he flicked the button of Landon’s fly open and Landon nodded.

  “Oh, I’m going to eat,” he promised and Ben’s eyes darkened as they found Landon’s.

  “Get up,” he commanded and Landon jumped to his feet.

  It took them a few minutes to make their way to the bedroom as they kissed hungrily and tore at each other’s clothes and stumbled blindly through the living room and hallway. They landed in a tangle of limbs on the bed and wrestled as they argued. Ben wanted to suck Landon’s cock while Landon kept trying to maneuver Ben onto his stomach so he could feast on Ben’s ass. Finally, Landon talked Ben into straddling his chest backwards. For a moment, Landon struggled to keep from laughing when he recalled nearly offering his face as a seat the first night he met Ben. The humor faded quickly when Ben dove for Landon’s cock and took him deep in his throat. Landon moaned in bliss as he grabbed handfuls of Ben’s ass and buried his face between the firm mounds. He licked, sucked and probed ravenously and decided the only thing more heavenly than feasting on Ben’s ass was doing so while Ben’s lips were locked around his erection. He worked two fingers into Ben’s clenching heat and soon, Ben was riding his fingers and moaning around Landon’s cock.

  “I need you in my ass now!” Ben gasped as he pushed off the bed. Landon bit Ben’s ass cheek then reached for the lube and passed it to Ben.

  “Ride me, Ben,” he commanded and Ben groaned in frustration.

  “Just fuck me,” Ben insisted and Landon shook his head as his tongue slid into the cleft of Ben’s ass.

  “I can do this all night,” he warned then laved Ben’s tender, puckered flesh.

  He heard Ben whimper as his body started to shake. Landon knew he was pushing Ben but he wanted Ben to finally accept that he enjoyed getting fucked. While he understood that Ben had some emotional and cultural mental hurdles to overcome, it was time for him to own it. And he wanted to see Ben take control of his pleasure when he was bottoming, not being passive and doing it for Landon. “I want to watch you ride my cock until you get off,” Landon said and his erection pulsed at the thought. Ben hissed as he sat up and there was a click as the lube flicked open. Landon jumped as cool, slick fingers wrapped around his length then moaned as they stroked firmly. He held his breath and silently prayed that Ben wouldn’t change his mind as he scooted down Landon’s body. Landon’s eyes flared and his jaw dropped as he watched Ben set his knees outside of his thighs and carefully guide the head of Landon’s cock to his entrance. He was about to protest, he wouldn’t be able to see Ben’s face or when he came but he became transfixed with the site of his erection disappearing into Ben as he slowly sat back. And it felt so good, Ben’s tight heat gripping his shaft as his ass dropped onto Landon’s groin. “That’s it,” Landon breathed as he got his elbows beneath him. “That’s so good,” he panted and Ben nodded drunkenly as he rose on his knees.

  “Holy shit,” Ben moaned before he sat back down. He ground against Landon and rolled his hips and Landon almost swallowed his tongue as pleasure rippled through his body. Ben shivered then fell forward and pressed his hands on the bed and rocked his hips. He gasped and Landon felt Ben squeeze tight around him and had to grit his teeth to keep from shouting as another wave of pleasure rolled through him and his nerves twisted tight. Landon watched in awe as Ben’s muscles bunched and stretched and his skin glistened with sweat as he rocked faster. The firm swells of his ass flexed and quivered as Ben rode Landon with fevered abandon. The air was filled with the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, grunts, moans and pants and Landon swore loudly when Ben timed the fall of his hips with the bouncing of the mattress to ride Landon harder and faster. “I’m so close!” Ben said frantically as he sat back and Landon grabbed Ben’s hips and bucked wildly beneath him as he watched Ben’s arm pumping quickly as his head fell back. “Fuck! Yesssss!” He hissed and Landon felt Ben’s passage squeeze tigh
t around his shaft then contract rhythmically. Landon arched and gasped Ben’s name as pressure slammed into the base of his cock as he was pulled into Ben’s release. His nerves exploded as the muscles of Ben’s ass milked his cock and he screamed as he came deep inside Ben. He heard Ben moan and felt his body twitch as molten heat flooded his core as Landon convulsed beneath him. Despite being barely coherent, Landon grabbed Ben as he swayed drunkenly and pulled him back onto his chest and rolled them onto their sides. He wrapped his arms around Ben’s chest and pressed kisses to his shoulders and the back of his neck as they shivered and waited to catch their breath.

  “Welcome to the club,” Landon murmured and Ben hummed as he twined their fingers.

  “What club?” He asked and Landon grinned.

  “The Super Power Bottoms of America,” he said loudly and Ben made an urgent hushing sound as he swatted Landon’s arm and Landon laughed as he held Ben tighter.

  “I suppose I might be but the neighbors don’t need to know,” he insisted and Landon snorted.

  “I’m pretty sure they already do,” Landon said. “You were really loud,” he added and Ben groaned as he covered his face with his pillow.

  “If the police show up, I’m telling them you attacked me,” Ben grumbled and Landon laughed softly as he pulled Ben’s back against his chest. His lips rubbed gently against Ben’s neck.

  “They’d never buy it,” Landon said drowsily and Ben sighed in agreement and waited as Landon’s body became heavy around his and his breathing slowed.

  Chapter 19

  Once again, Landon had casually shattered Ben’s world. Realizing he was gay had been a very simple and easy process for Ben and his coming out was something he handled quietly after college. It wasn’t a big deal as long as he was a top, for some reason. He was the horrible cliche that terms like “Brosé” were invented for. Ben could calmly tell people he was gay as long as he could see that they assumed he was a top and he avoided anything he thought might make him look effeminate. Somehow, he felt like he would lose some respect or be less acceptable if it was known that he liked getting fucked.

  It had all been simpler for Ben when he didn’t enjoy it. Now that he did, and, holy shit, he really did, he felt like he was a different type of gay. Before, he just preferred fucking men and wasn’t attracted to women. Now, he was “totally” gay. If that could possibly make sense. He’d allowed himself to enjoy a little anal play now and then, in the past but he’d never really appreciated or allowed himself to be open to all the pleasure he could experience through his ass. Thanks to Landon, Ben wasn’t so sure which gave him more pleasure or which orgasms were stronger.

  Does it really fucking matter? Is anyone going to care about this other than you? He wondered as he rolled and pulled Landon against his chest. Landon snored lightly as he wrapped his hands around Ben’s head and rubbed his lips against Ben’s cheek. Would anyone blame you? He’s incredible and does things to your body that shouldn’t be possible. Ben snorted as he ignored the heaviness in his groin as his cock got hard. Can you get over yourself and just accept that you’re at least versatile or “totally” gay for Landon? He didn’t really have to think about it. For Landon, Ben would be anything.

  Which didn’t make Ben feel better about everything in general. He could get past the irrational clutching at his masculinity and accept that he enjoyed being fucked because he found the perfect man and he was in love. Unfortunately, he was running out of time with the perfect man and he was in love.

  Chapter 20

  “So you have to be out in two weeks?” Jason asked and Landon nodded as he jumped to his feet and collected dessert plates.

  “Does anyone want more coffee?” He asked as he went into the kitchen. Jason, Michelle and Ben all shook their heads in response. Landon quickly rinsed the plates and set them in the dishwasher as he waited for the conversation to switch to something other than his move.

  “That cheesecake was divine,” Michelle announced and Landon relaxed as he wiped his hands then returned to the table. “I think I want a tower of cheesecakes for our wedding,” she said and Landon looked at Ben. He looked nervous and Landon nodded faintly as he pulled his seat closer to Ben’s and took his hand. They agreed they would confront Michelle after dinner. Landon knew Ben was dreading it but putting it off wasn’t going to make it easier. He gave Ben’s hand a reassuring squeeze and tilted his head toward Michelle and Ben’s lips pulled tight.

  “Michelle.” Ben’s voice was low and cautious as he waited for her to look at him. “We didn’t just invite the two of you here for dinner. There’s something we want to talk about,” he said and Michelle looked excitedly between them.

  “Oh, my God!” She whispered as she fanned her eyes. “Are you two getting married? Who proposed?” Michelle asked and Landon shook his head quickly and wished he could duck under the table. There was a very long, weak groan from Ben. Michelle’s face fell and her shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry. What is it, then?” She asked as she fidgeted with her sleeve. Ben took a deep breath and sat up straight.

  “We think it’s time for you to tell Jason,” he said softly and Michelle’s eyes grew wide as her arms crossed over her chest defensively.

  “What are you doing?” She hissed at Ben and he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

  “He loves you and he deserves to know,” he insisted and Jason’s brows fell as he looked at Michelle. Her jaw clenched and Landon knew she was furious.

  “You have no right! How could the two of you ambush me like this?” She asked loudly and Jason frowned as he looked at Landon and Ben.

  “What’s going on?” He asked carefully and Michelle grabbed his hand as she stood.

  “Nothing. Let’s go,” she commanded and Jason was confused as his eyes drifted from person to person.

  “I think we should stay,” he said and Michelle growled in frustration as she tugged.

  “No!” She yelled and he shook his head as he looked at Ben and Landon. He looked so scared and Landon knew he was expecting something along the lines of an affair and he almost wished it was. Ben sighed heavily and Landon squeezed his hand again.

  “Please, sit,” Ben said and she stomped her foot before she dropped onto her chair. Jason’s eyes were huge as they searched her face.

  “What is it?” He asked and she glared at Ben.

  “It’s nothing,” she ground out and Ben shook his head.

  “I wish that was true, Michelle,” he said and she rolled her eyes.

  “Why are you doing this? What’s the point of scaring him? Everything’s going so well and you’re going to scare him off,” she complained and Landon cleared his throat as he reached for her hand. She tried to pull away but Landon held tight.

  “He loves you and I think he deserves a chance to prove that. And it’s wrong, Michelle,” Landon said and Jason groaned in frustration as his hands pushed through his hair.

  “Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” He said loudly and Michelle’s eyes flooded and she shook her head.

  “I can’t do it!” She whispered as she looked at Ben. “I can’t say the words,” she said and Ben shut his eyes briefly then turned to Jason.

  “You know our mother died of breast cancer,” he said and Jason nodded slowly. “Our aunt died of ovarian cancer and we’re fairly sure our grandmother died of one or both as well,” Ben explained and Jason blinked a few times before the color drained from his face. He shook his head as he reached for Michelle.

  “Baby! Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked as he gathered her face in his hands. “But you’re ok? Right?” He asked urgently as his eyes poured into hers. She was completely frozen and until Jason’s hands fell to her shoulders and shook her gently. She tried to speak but her voice was too weak and Ben’s body was taut as he leaned against Landon.

  “We aren’t sure. She hasn’t been to a doctor and had a checkup for three years,” he explained and Jason gasped.

 
; “Why?” He asked loudly and Michelle just shook her head. Jason looked back at Ben in confusion. “If they found anything, they could treat it before it was too late, right?” He asked and Ben pulled his lips in and cringed.

  “It depends,” he explained. “She needs to get tested for certain genes and there are things they can do…” he stopped when Michelle waved her hands, silencing him.

  “This is too much!” She yelled and Jason grabbed her hands.

  “No, it’s not! I don’t know anything about this. I need to understand. I need to know what to do,” he argued and Landon almost sighed in relief. He saw it in Ben too. Jason pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it,” Jason whispered and Michelle whimpered.

  “You don’t get it,” she said shakily. “If I have the genes, they could take my breasts,” Michelle explained and Jason’s lips twisted as he stared at her then he nodded.

  “Right. I don’t want to sound insensitive, but you could always get new ones,” he said and Landon covered his mouth before he could laugh. Michelle was about to explode when Jason made a soothing sound. “I love your breasts, baby. But, if I had to choose between them and you… Well, they’re not your best feature,” he teased and Landon and Ben cringed. It was a bold joke at the moment. Michelle’s eyes narrowed and he grinned sheepishly. “You are. You are your best feature. I love a million things about you and your breasts are just one of them,” he explained and she softened. He pulled her close and kissed her cheek gently. “And you know I’m an ass man,” he whispered and Landon heard Ben curse under his breath as Michelle swatted his arm.

  “That’s not it,” she said and Jason sobered. “They could want me to have my ovaries removed. We talked about having kids and I can’t…” Michelle’s voice broke and Jason shushed her as he cradled her head against his chest.