Lakeside Hospital Box Set

by Cara Malone

“From what you told me, he was in the end stages of the disease,” Darcy said gently. “A breathing treatment couldn’t change that.”

  “We all could have fought harder to get him bumped up the lung transplant list,” Krys said bitterly. “We should have tried harder. I should have tried harder.”

  She closed her fist around the rose’s stem and flinched when a thorn pierced her skin. Darcy pried open Krys’s fingers and took the flower away, laying it on the bench. There was a small droplet of blood on her palm and Darcy dabbed at it with the corner of her t-shirt.

  “You can’t save everyone,” she said. She tipped Krys’s chin up to look into her big, round eyes full of tears, then she kissed her, tasting the salt on her lips. Darcy pulled Krys into a fiercely protective hug and said, “Let’s go home.”

  She drove Krys back to her apartment, watching out of the corner of her eye as Krys leaned her forehead against the passenger side window and watched the city slide past the truck. She looked exhausted and Darcy had never seen her so down before. When they pulled up to the apartment building and Darcy grabbed a parking spot on the street, she wondered if she’d have to carry Krys up to her bed.

  It wouldn’t be the first time she had to summon all her strength to carry a fallen comrade, and she’d do it if she had to.

  But when Darcy came around to the passenger side, Krys slid out of the truck of her own accord, stubbornly refusing to let Darcy open her door even in this moment. Darcy hooked her arm around Krys’s elbow and grabbed the rose off the dashboard, then said, “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

  “I can’t sleep right now,” Krys objected as they made their way to the building lobby.

  “Your eyes say otherwise,” Darcy said.

  They took the elevator up to the fifth floor and Krys dug her keys out of the pocket of her scrubs. As she opened the door, she looked miserably at Darcy and said, “I appreciate you picking me up – I don’t think I could have driven myself feeling like this. But you don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”

  “I know you will,” Darcy answered. There was that wall going up again. “You’re strong as hell and I admire that about you, but you called because you’re mourning someone you cared about and I want to be here for you.”

  For a moment, Krys looked like she wasn’t sure what to say in response. Then she smiled and said, “Thank you.”

  She went into the apartment and Darcy followed. She’d been there a half-dozen times before, except this time was different. They weren’t stripping each other’s clothes off as they crossed through the door, or racing into the bedroom. Krys really did look like hell and Darcy just wanted to make sure she got some rest.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?”

  “I can’t,” Krys said. “Malik’s family won’t be able to sleep.”

  “It’s not a contest,” Darcy said. She guided Krys over to the sofa – a large, garishly maroon one provided by the building owners – and forced her to sit down. “I bet you haven’t eaten all night. What can I make you?”

  “I’m not hungry,” Krys said.

  “You don’t feel hungry because you’re upset, but you can’t ignore your own needs just because other people are suffering,” Darcy said. She went into the small kitchen that was just around the corner from the living room and called, “Come on – what would you like to eat?”

  Krys snorted in a small attempt at humor, then called back, “I haven’t grocery shopped in weeks. There’s nothing in there.”

  Darcy opened the fridge and a few cupboards and realized Krys was being literal. She grabbed a glass from one of the shelves and filled it with a little bit of water, then took the rose out of her pocket where she’d stashed it and put the stem in the water. She brought the makeshift vase back to the living room and set it on the coffee table in front of Krys.

  “You’re right,” she said. “There’s nothing there but condiments and energy bars.”

  “It’s okay,” Krys said. “I’m feeling a little better now. I was actually thinking I might go back to the hospital and see if there’s anything I can do for the family.”

  “You’re not going back there,” Darcy said firmly. She sat down on the couch beside Krys and added, “There’s nothing you can do to make it better, but you can process the loss so it doesn’t eat at you.”

  “Is that what you used to do?” Krys asked. “When you lost someone on the battlefield, you just processed it and the feeling of being a failure went away?”

  “You’re not a failure, Krys,” Darcy said. “You save so many people and I’ve personally watched you impact so many lives for the better. What happened to Malik is completely tragic, but it doesn’t take away from all the lives you did save. He had a terminal illness, babe.”

  “I know,” Krys said. She buried her face against Darcy’s shirt and started crying again, the thin cotton becoming damp and hot with her tears. Darcy just held her, and then after a minute, she said, “I don’t want you to die.”

  “What?” Darcy asked. “Who says I’m dying?”

  “You could,” Krys said. “Your TB test-”

  Darcy pulled Krys’s head up to look into her eyes. Her face was wet with tears and her normally neat hair was coming out of her ponytail and sticking to her damp skin. Her nose was red from crying and her mouth was twisted into an expression of intense emotional pain, but she still looked just as beautiful as ever.

  “You said yourself that the chances of me getting active TB are really slim, and if I had it, the doctors would be able to treat me right away and I’d be fine,” Darcy said. She’d been repeating those thoughts to herself for the last few days but she didn’t feel nearly as confident when she was trying to comfort herself. Suddenly, though, she believed it. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

  “Okay,” Krys said, fresh tears falling down her cheeks.

  Darcy wrapped her arms around Krys again and they settled into the couch, Krys’s head bobbing up and down on Darcy’s chest with every inhalation. After a couple of minutes, she brushed the damp hair off Krys’s temples and asked, “Do you want me to make you a cup of tea at least? I saw some chamomile in your cupboard.”

  Krys didn’t answer, her own chest rising and falling steadily as she slept in Darcy’s arms.

  Darcy drifted in and out of sleep for a couple of hours while Krys slept soundly on her chest. Her arm went numb from being pinned up against the couch and her bladder began to ache, but she kept still because it was worth it to let Krys get some much-needed rest. Even when everything was going right in their world, she never seemed to sleep much and was always setting her alarm for ridiculous hours so she could squeeze in a little more time at the hospital.

  The circumstances that led them to this couch were terrible, but Darcy suspected that Krys needed to crash for once.

  It was about one o’clock by the time Krys finally stirred and Darcy gratefully got up to limp stiffly down the hall to use the toilet. As she came back into the living room, she asked, “Do you want to get lunch?”

  Krys was standing in front of the couch with her phone in her hands and she looked regretfully at Darcy. “I was supposed to work a shift at the clinic this afternoon. I can still make it if I hurry.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Darcy asked. “Maybe you should take a day off for once.”

  “I’ve had way too many days off lately,” Krys said. “I think the best thing for me to do is work.”

  Darcy let out a sigh but she knew Krys wouldn’t be deterred if that was what she wanted. “Okay. Your car’s still at the hospital – I’ll drive you back to it.”

  “Thank you,” Krys said, crossing the living room to give Darcy a quick kiss. “I need to change into fresh scrubs. I’ll only be a minute.”

  “Take your time,” Darcy said. She plopped down on the couch with a big yawn while she watched Krys disappear down the hallway. Ordinarily, she would just go with Krys to the clinic – they’d get to spend some more time togethe
r and Darcy would be able to make sure Krys was taking care of herself and not pushing herself too hard. But she was still on antibiotics and she couldn’t work until she’d gotten the all-clear.

  Darcy drove Krys back to the hospital to get her car, and on the way there she insisted on making a pitstop at a drive-through burger joint to get some food into Krys’s belly. A burger and fries weren’t the healthiest things in the world, but they were fuel.

  When Darcy pulled up behind Krys’s car in the hospital parking lot, she let the engine idle as Krys leaned across the bench seat and gave her a quick kiss.

  “Are you going to be okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah, of course,” Krys said. “I’m always okay.”

  “Don’t forget to eat that,” Darcy said, motioning to the greasy paper bag on Krys’s lap.

  “I won’t,” Krys said. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Darcy said. Krys kissed her again and then opened her car door, but Darcy reached out and grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Hey.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re not working at the clinic to avoid me, are you?” Darcy asked. “Because you think I might die and break your heart?”

  Krys smiled, but it didn’t look as genuine as it usually did. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Darcy agreed. She put her hand into the pocket of her truck door and pulled out a few sprigs of lavender that she’d covertly snagged from the landscaping on their way out of the apartment building.

  “Where did you get that?” Krys asked. Now there’s a real smile.

  “Magic,” Darcy answered. “Have a good day, babe.”

  Krys slid across the bench seat and threw her arms around Darcy’s neck, giving her a long, firm kiss. Then she took the sprigs of lavender and her fast food bag and slid back toward the passenger door. “You too, Darcy.”

  Harvey was waiting for her when she got home, as always.

  It never mattered what crazy, wonderful or terrible thing happened in Darcy’s day – Harvey always had the same excited bark waiting for her when she opened the door. He bounced on his front paws, knowing his manners better than to jump on her but clearly wanting to, and Darcy sank down on the floor in the entryway to wrap her arms around his neck.

  “I had a rough morning, buddy,” she said, resting her forehead against his thick fur and yawning. “I wish I was better at comforting Krys – sometimes it feels like no matter what I say, she’s still going to think she needs to be a superhero.”

  Harvey panted in her ear, always a good listener but not much of a conversationalist. After a minute, she sat back and ruffled her fingers through his ears.

  “How was your morning? See any interesting lady dogs through the window?” she asked. “How about that pesky mailman - did he come by?”

  Harvey barked at the word ‘mailman’ and Darcy laughed. She heaved herself off the floor after a minute, feeling like she could use a nice, long nap, but first she went into the kitchen and retrieved a couple of dog biscuits.

  “You’re a good boy, Harvey,” she said, patting his head while he chomped on his treats. “People are a lot trickier than dogs. Sometimes I wish everyone could obey a simple set of commands. Sit, stay, take off the superhero cape and stop being so hard on yourself.”

  She went down the hall to her bedroom and Harvey followed obediently at her heels, still chomping at his biscuits and leaving a trail of crumbs on the carpet. Darcy stripped off her t-shirt and put on a fresh one, then changed into a pair of loose-fitting shorts and was just peeling back the covers on her meticulously made bed when her phone started to ring.

  It made her stomach hurt for just a second – she felt anxious every time the phone rang all week because she was awaiting her x-ray results, and Krys’s early-morning call about Malik hadn’t made the situation much better. But this time it was her brother, Daniel.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Darcy asked as she answered.

  “I talked to Mom,” he said. “How’s Tuesday the twenty-ninth sound?”

  “For what?” Darcy asked.

  “Uh, for the meeting you asked me to arrange,” Danny said. “What’s wrong with you? You sound out of it.”

  “I’ve been up since before five a.m. – it’s a long story,” Darcy said. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers as the possibility of seeing her mother after a decade of silence suddenly became very real. “There’s a lot going on right now. Is it too late to back out?”

  “Yes,” her brother said. “It’s about ten years too late. I’m sick of you two fighting – it’s like having divorced parents and an estranged sister.”

  “Okay,” Darcy said. “Tuesday the twenty-ninth. You’re going to be there too, right?”

  “Yes,” Daniel assured her. “I’ll be there for moral support all around.”

  “Thank you,” Darcy said. Her brother gave her the meeting details and when she hung up the phone, she fell over face-first into her pillow in an exhausted heap. Harvey hopped up on the bed and snuggled next to her, and she asked, “What did I get myself into?”

  19

  Krys

  It was Darcy’s idea to go to Malik’s wake. She thought that it would give Krys closure on his death and allow her to stop blaming herself. Krys wasn’t so sure, but she wanted to pay her respects, so they went.

  The funeral home was full when they arrived, teeming with friends and family all mourning Malik. At the front of the room, there was a brushed silver urn flanked on both sides by large arrangements of flowers and vibrant pictures of Malik. He wore his nasal cannula in most of them – Krys rarely saw him without it – but he never seemed to be tethered by it. He was grinning or laughing in each of the photos, and that’s how Krys remembered him whenever he came to the hospital or clinic.

  She slid her hand into Darcy’s as they looked over the photos that showed a different side of the boy – one that didn’t exist in hospital beds with oxygen masks strapped to his face. In one, he was a toddler building a sand castle at the beach on Lake Michigan with his older brothers. In another, he proudly wore a backpack and stood in front of a yellow bus on his first day of kindergarten. In a third, he sat at the top of a slide on the playground and waved down to the picture-taker.

  “Dr. Stevens,” Krys heard someone say behind her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find Malik’s mother, Chantal. “I’m glad you came.”

  She wrapped her arms around Krys and it snapped her immediately into doctor consoling a family member mode. It was something that she was actually pretty good at, even if it was one of the hardest parts of her job.

  “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said. “Malik was an incredible kid.”

  “Thank you,” Chantal said. She released Krys and gave Darcy a quick hug, too, even though she didn’t seem to recognize her from the clinic. She looked dazed, like she was running on autopilot, and she excused herself after a minute to greet more guests as they came into the funeral home.

  “There are so many people here,” Krys said. “Malik was well-loved.”

  Darcy put her hand on the small of Krys’s back, brushing over the soft fabric of her black dress. She’d worn it quite a few times before, but she knew that every time she saw it hanging in her closet after today, she’d think of Malik.

  “How are you doing?” Darcy asked.

  “I’m fine,” Krys said. “I don’t want to stay long, though.”

  “Okay,” Darcy agreed. “Let’s go sign the guestbook.”

  They weaved their way through the room and Krys kept her hand linked in Darcy’s. She overheard at least half a dozen snippets of conversation on the way to the podium where the guestbook was and everyone was sharing happy memories in honor of Malik. It made tears well in Krys’s eyes, but she held them back.

  Don’t cry, she told herself, just like she had the night he died.

  While she and Darcy stood in line to sign the guestbook, Darcy nudged her and said, “Here comes Dr. Thomas.�
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  She looked toward the door and saw Lily in a pair of long, slim black pants and a matching blouse with a feminine ruffle around the collar. She looked solemn but more stoic than Krys felt, and she wondered how that was possible. Lily had known Malik just as well as Krys had.

  She signed the book while Lily paid her respects to Chantal and Angelo, then Krys and Darcy met her near the urn.

  “I didn’t know you’d be here,” Lily said. “We could have come together.”

  “Darcy suggested it,” Krys answered. “She thought it might help.”

  Lily nodded. “I think it does. It’s never a good day to say goodbye to a patient, but it’s important to pay our respects and honor them. Malik was my patient ever since he was four years old. He was always a trooper, never complained about the needles or the breathing treatments like some other kids did, but I guess that’s what happens when you grow up going in and out of the hospital. Malik made the most of it, though. Every time I saw him, he had another book or movie that he was obsessed with, and he’d talk my ear off for hours if I had the time to let him.”

  Krys laughed and put her hand into the pocket of her dress. She ran her thumb over the round wooden ball inside, closed her eyes, and then pulled it out to show to Lily.

  “He gave this to me the last time he came into the clinic,” she said. “It’s Neptune, from a solar system project he did at school.”

  Lily smiled as she took it out of Krys’s palm and inspected it. She handed it back and said, “I’ve got Saturn sitting on the desk in my office.”

  That twisted something in Krys’s chest and she wondered who Malik had given the other planets to. Then she said abruptly, “I think I need to get out of here.”

  The tears were threatening to spill out but she couldn’t break down – not here. She put Neptune back in her pocket and walked out of the funeral home, having faith that Darcy would follow her. She did, and Krys was surprised to find that Lily had come with her. She quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks and struggled to compose herself in front of her colleague, but Lily pulled her into a hug.