April

by Paul

  Coral was exhausted so, when the last of our impromptu visitors left, she headed off to bed, as Jazmin and Harley watched a film upstairs. I, too, was feeling very weary but I wanted to write in my diary before I caught up on my sleep.

  ‘That’s the second week over,’ I wrote. ‘It’s going fast. It’s very emotional. When you stop, you just feel so tired. It’s hard to concentrate and operate as a normal person. I find small things can upset me and I get stressed very quickly. Coral is the same and we can both be snappy and, at times, a little bad-tempered.

  ‘It’s nice to be home but it does all come back to us – everything reminds us of April. Coral does seem better at home, though. I think she needs to be close to Jazz and Harley and amongst friends. I feel very tired and tearful – I nearly always feel tearful these days. I just don’t have a purpose or a goal in life. I just want my girl back – to hear her laugh and sing in the garden, to put her to bed and listen to her talk, to kiss her on the head and tell her I love her and hear her say it back with that beautiful, Welsh voice.

  ‘A few friends have dropped by to say hello and they’ve all said that we are doing so well and that we are a strong and amazing couple. I feel a little embarrassed but also proud they think this.

  ‘I love you, April. Dad xxx.’

  We travelled back to Mold on the Sunday night in preparation for court on the Monday. We’d been told this week was likely to focus mainly on the forensic evidence found in Bridger’s cottage.

  First we heard evidence from Emma Howes, a forensic scientist from Birmingham, who had examined Bridger’s house as part of the investigation. As we expected, she confirmed that the blood found in the flat was a match for April’s DNA and the chances of it belonging to someone else were a billion to one. We already knew that traces of our daughter’s blood had been found all over the flat, but we both found it hard to listen when the witness said that the puddle on the living room floor suggested April’s little body had been lying by the fire ‘for some time’, as the blood had soaked through to the underside of the carpet. She then spoke about the traces of blood found in the hallway, saying this indicated a pattern of ‘dripped blood’.

  Emma Howes was a very matter-of-fact witness and I was a little surprised by how easily she could speak about the scene of this horrific crime without becoming upset or emotional. I had to remind myself that she was simply being professional, not insensitive, and that we needed the opinion of experts like her if we wanted to convict Bridger.

  She said that, in her opinion, the blood was ‘diluted’, suggesting someone had attempted to clean it up. This was a little too much for Coral and she had to go outside for a five-minute break at one point, but she steeled herself and was soon back in to hear the rest of the evidence.

  On the Tuesday of the third week we heard from another forensic scientist, a man from Edinburgh called Roderick Stewart. He told the court he had spent two days thoroughly examining the Land Rover but had found no evidence that Bridger had knocked April over.

  ‘If there had been a collision between the Land Rover and a person or bike there would be evidence,’ he told Elwen. ‘It always leaves a trace, whether it be scratches or dents on an object such as a car or bike.

  ‘This vehicle weighs two tonnes – it’s going to do a lot of damage. My conclusion, based on forty years’ experience, shows no damage to the vehicle. Nothing on the underside, nothing on the bodywork and nothing on the wheels.’

  I couldn’t help but glance at Bridger during Roderick Stewart’s evidence. He was now sitting in the dock with his head in his hands, in tears. This time I didn’t doubt the tears were real but they weren’t for April, they were for himself. He was beginning to realise just how bleak things were looking for him.

  Roderick Stewart then went on to say that he’d examined both April and Amy’s bikes and had still found no evidence of a collision, telling the jury that the only damage he could find was from wear and tear.

  Brendan Kelly was given the opportunity to cross-examine the witness and he asked why he hadn’t carried out any investigations near the garages on Bryn-y-Gog, where Bridger claimed the collision had taken place.

  ‘There wouldn’t have been any point,’ Roderick Stewart replied. ‘There had not been a collision. There wouldn’t have been anything to see.’

  Bridger’s case was unravelling before our eyes. It was the only thing that made listening to the evidence seem worthwhile.

  ‘I can’t wait until he takes the stand,’ Coral said, when we were back at our cottage that night. ‘I want to watch him squirm.’

  ‘It has been stressful, what with all the talk of April’s blood here and there as if it was just casual talk,’ I wrote that night. ‘Coral found it very hard but she’s very strong and recovers fast. I’ve prepared myself for the worst case scenario, so it doesn’t come as such as shock, but it still hurts and makes me sick to my boots.

  ‘I still can’t understand how a father could do such a thing to our April. She was so special and beautiful, full of life and courage, what with her pain in her legs.

  ‘I love you, April. Dad xxx.’

  While this was all going on, we also had to contend with the press interest in the case. Coral and I had received countless letters from newspapers, magazines and television programmes, asking if we would be interested in doing an interview after the verdict had been announced. We hadn’t ruled this out – in fact, we were keen to pay tribute to April in our own words and to give our side of the story. After all, we had spent months being silent and dignified for the sake of a fair trial. Nonetheless, justice for our little girl remained our absolute priority and we asked the journalists who had contacted us to allow us to focus on the case before we made a decision. Most were very respectful, with the exception of one.

  Perhaps we were a little bit naive. We were unwittingly at the centre of probably the biggest story of the year, but we were so wrapped up in the court case that we didn’t realise that the media were falling over themselves to secure an exclusive with us once the trial was over. I’d given this journalist my personal mobile number but, in the midst of the distressing forensic evidence, had asked him not to contact us until the following week when I would hopefully be in a better frame of mind to speak to him. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I had to switch my mobile off to avoid being disturbed by his calls.

  Rhian, the police press manager, then told us the same journalist had contacted her several times and had been quite rude when asking to speak to us. In the end, Coral called him with Hayley’s help and asked him to leave us alone. I understand this man was probably under a lot of pressure to get the story but the irony of it all was that we’d probably have given him the exclusive if he’d just been a bit more sensitive to our needs.

  ‘We have no time for this distraction,’ I wrote in my diary. ‘He just didn’t listen and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He even denied ringing the police. I hope he will now stop and respect our wishes.’

  Towards the end of the week, we heard more evidence from Mark Bridger’s police interviews. By now, it was beginning to become obvious just how much of a fantasist he was. Paul Hobson, Elwen’s junior barrister, read out some transcripts from when Bridger was first arrested. He’d made up so many stories to try and worm his way out of the awful situation he’d created. Each one was more incredible than the last. Firstly he insisted he could not have abused April because he was virtually impotent. Next he told officers that he’d been looking at the vile images found on his computer because he wanted to study the development of his own children. When this didn’t seem to wash, he said he was carrying out an investigation into the availability of child pornography and that he’d been so outraged by what he found that he’d written to several internet providers to complain.

  I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, as Paul Hobson read out part of the transcript in which Bridger said he’d had a ‘mental block’ and had no idea what he’d done with April.

>   ‘“When you came in before and said you were arresting me for murder, I was initially relieved,”’ Paul said, reading from the papers he was holding. Bridger put his head in his hands as his words were repeated to the jury. ‘“At that point, I honestly thought you’d found her. I don’t know where she is. In my mind, I’ve obviously put her somewhere and I can’t get that back.”

  ‘“I would like to say to Paul and Coral, I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to put them through this. I’ve got kids of my own; I have known them for years.”’

  His words were hollow but what was most chilling was how he had reacted to a sighting of himself in his car, at the war monument in the town, around ten minutes after April was taken. A witness had seen him stop for a minute or so before driving off towards Ceinws. He claimed he was driving around in a panic because he’d run April over and that he’d stopped ‘to think about what to do’. I put my arm around Coral and gritted my teeth to try and control the tidal wave of grief and anger that had engulfed me.

  We both knew in our hearts that Bridger hadn’t stopped to think about what to do with April’s lifeless body. April had still been alive and he’d stopped to make a final decision as to whether or not to go through with the horrific crime he’d been plotting. I don’t know what he had to consider; perhaps he weighed up the risk of being caught and wrongly assumed he could get away with it. All I know is that, when he drove off, he let go of every shred of humanity in his body.

  In the interviews, Bridger was also asked about his background. Everyone in Machynlleth knew how proud he was of his alleged army career, but it was quickly becoming apparent that this was nothing more than a product of his imagination. He claimed he’d cheated death several times, that he was shot in the back while on duty with the army, and that he’d served all over the world, everywhere from Afghanistan to Belize. He also said he broke several bones in his back when a parachute jump went wrong. As ridiculous as it sounds, this brought a little light relief. I could see some of the jury giggling and, at one point, I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud. Dave bowed his head because he couldn’t keep a straight face and even the judge looked amused. It was obvious that this pathetic excuse for a human being, crying like a baby in the dock, had never been anywhere near a war zone.

  Still, Coral and I were left feeling very drained and wondering how we’d get through another week and a half of evidence.

  ‘I’ve found it very hard listening to Mark Bridger’s statement,’ I wrote that night. ‘He is going on about April and how he crushed her little body and tried in vain to bring her back, then telling us how he drank so much vodka and cider he can’t remember what he did with her body – it makes me feel sick. It’s taken a lot out of me, much more than I expected.

  ‘I don’t know how Coral and I will manage next week when he takes the stand and tries to convince the jury of what a lovely guy he is, when really he’s a bastard. I’m really worried about what it will do to Coral.

  ‘I love you, April. Dad xxx.’

  That weekend I felt I needed some time to myself, so on the Saturday morning I walked up my hill and tied a ribbon to the fence. Most of the ribbons were now looking a little weather-beaten. Some were frayed at the edges and their colour had faded to a pale pink or white shade. I sat on top of the hill for a long time that day, watching the bows flutter sadly in the wind.

  ‘Oh, April,’ I wept. ‘I’ll never get to see you or hear you again.’

  Later on, Tim called round and asked if I wanted to go to the leisure centre. I felt better for a few hours in the gym and, afterwards, we had a swim and a sauna, which really helped revitalise me.

  The Sunday was a beautiful, sunny day and Harley and Jazmin had a water fight with some of the neighbours. It was lovely to see them having fun, but Coral and I couldn’t help but feel low.

  ‘April would have loved this,’ Coral sighed.

  ‘I know,’ I replied, blinking back tears.

  Sue had come down from Holyhead to look after the children, so she and Coral went to bingo while I took the dogs for a walk and caught up with my diary.

  ‘No matter what I do, I just come back to thinking of April,’ I wrote. ‘It’s good just to be normal for a while but now I feel so down and upset. I’m a bit battered and faded, just like the ribbons on the hill.

  ‘I love you, April. Dad xxx.’

  Dave and Hayley agreed to take us to court on Monday morning from Machynlleth to give us some extra time at home, but neither of us slept well. It was another exhausting day, as the evidence yet again focused on the images found on Bridger’s computer.

  On the Tuesday, both the prosecution and the defence called expert witnesses to give their opinions on the bone fragments found in the wood burner. The prosecution witnesses were Professor Cattaneo and Dr Julie Roberts, a leading forensic anthropologist and archaeologist. Dr Roberts took the stand first and told the court she had been asked to take three things into consideration when examining the fragments: whether or not they were burnt bone, whether or not they were human, and where in the skeleton they were from.

  She was given five fragments and concluded that at least four of them contained features unique to a human skull. She said she believed the skull was that of a younger individual, possibly a child aged between four and eight. She added that the reason she could not obtain a DNA profile was because the pieces of bone had been so badly burned.

  As part of the investigation, the fragments had been taken to the School of Veterinary Medicine in Liverpool and compared with those of fourteen other species, including dogs, cats, foxes and chickens. Dr Roberts remained convinced that the fragments had come from a child.

  Professor Cattaneo, whose work mainly focused on studying the badly burned remains of organised crime victims in Italy, then gave the results of her findings. She agreed with Dr Roberts, that the pieces of bone were most likely the remains of a human being.

  However, when Brendan Kelly called his own witness to the stand, we weren’t sure what to expect. Professor Sue Black, from Dundee University in the north-east of Scotland, was a world-famous anthropologist, who had previously given evidence in many high-profile murder trials and had been awarded an OBE for her forensic work in Kosovo. She told the jury she was not confident that the fragments found were from a human skull. She claimed the other experts were guilty of ‘confirmation bias’ – that they’d simply been looking for evidence to support a theory they’d already decided was true.

  ‘I have not seen anything like that in a human skeleton,’ she replied, when questioned on the fragments. ‘I have no idea what it could be. If you are going to look for faces in the clouds, you will find them, but it does not mean that they are fact and that they exist.’

  I was a little unnerved. This woman was obviously a very respected scientist and, without a body, the forensic evidence was the cornerstone of our case. But Elwen was more than a match for her and, during her cross-examination, managed to get Professor Black to agree there was at least a possibility these fragments had come from April, although Professor Black insisted she still had to ‘sit on the fence’ and refused to confirm there was any scientific evidence that these were our daughter’s remains. When Elwen finished grilling her, I felt slightly more relaxed. I just hoped this testimony hadn’t planted too big a seed of doubt in the minds of the jurors.

  The next morning, Brendan Kelly would call Bridger as his second witness. Coral and I slept surprisingly well, but we were anxious about the day ahead.

  Bridger was brought to the stand in handcuffs by two guards but the jury were not allowed to see him like this, so he was released before they were brought in. It was strange, seeing him let loose on the stand. His voice broke when he took the oath. Coral and I stared straight at him.

  His barrister asked him a few questions about his background and why he’d lied about being in the army. His voice was small and pathetic as he responded.

  ‘When I moved to the Machyn
lleth area people always wanted to know who I was, where I was from, my past, my present,’ he replied. ‘I had always been interested in the military so I just said I am ex-military and people took that as what I did.’

  He was then asked about the photographs. I could see the colour draining from Coral’s face when he spoke about Jazmin and how pretty he thought she was. It made my skin crawl.

  His barrister then went on to talk about the incident itself and he repeated the same lies we’d been hearing for weeks. Despite the mountain of forensic evidence Elwen and her team had gathered against him, he continued to claim he’d run April over and had forgotten what he’d done with her body. He even claimed the bones in the fire were from a chicken he’d cooked for his children the weekend before April disappeared. It was like he hadn’t listened to a word that had been said since the trial had begun. I think he’d got to the stage where he actually believed his own lies.

  ‘I still do not recall having little April in my car,’ he repeated. Without warning, Coral stood up and ran out of the courtroom, her hand clapped to her face.

  Coral recalls:

  Little April . . . these were the words we’d always used to describe our youngest daughter, full of love and affection. When I heard them spring from Mark Bridger’s lips, I felt like someone had stabbed me hard in the heart and was slowly twisting the knife.