Walking My Baby Back Home

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Promise! I shouldn’t think Tom Campbell has kept a promise in his whole life!’ There was bitterness in Dot’s voice as the image of Mary flashed before her eyes. ‘He doesn’t even know the meaning of the word.’ She shook her head at John. ‘I’d rather yer didn’t come round; it might only make things worse for her. I’ll have a word with Maggie and Paddy. We’ll think of something – there’s no need for you to get involved.’

  Thinking a nod was as good as a wink when you were being told you weren’t wanted, John drained his cup and handed it gratefully to Katy. ‘Thank you, you make a very good cup of tea.’ He pushed himself out of the chair. ‘It’s a very busy night for mothers and I know I’m holding you back, so I’ll be on my way.’ He held out his hand to Dot. ‘Have a very happy Christmas, Dot, and I wish you and your children only good fortune in the future.’

  ‘Thank you, and the same to you.’ As she shook his hand, Dot was racked with guilt. She was throwing the poor man out, and he knew it. But she did have a lot to do, what with ironing and making the room look nice for in the morning. She wanted all the gaily wrapped presents arranged on the sideboard so they would be the first thing Colin saw when he limped into the room. He wasn’t getting much, but it was a damn sight more than he’d ever had before. ‘Yer won’t mind if Katy shows yer out, will yer? I’ve still got a lot to do down here, then see to Colin and settle him down for the night. If I don’t make an effort and get cracking soon, it’ll be time to get up before I go to bed.’

  Katy closed the front door and walked slowly back into the room. ‘Yer were a bit mean with Mr Kershaw, Mam, I was surprised at yer. Yer never even asked if he’d like to call in any time he was passing.’

  ‘I know, sunshine, and I’m not proud of meself. But I couldn’t sit here gassing when there’s so much to do and so little time to do it in. He seems a really nice bloke, but, after all, he is a complete stranger and we’ll probably never see him again.’

  ‘Oh, I think yer will because he said he’d call and see how Colin was getting on.’ Katy stretched her arm behind the couch and pulled out the bag she’d hidden. There was a smile of satisfaction and anticipation on her face as she began to arrange the colourful parcels along the sideboard. After changing the position of them for greater effect, she stepped back to admire her handiwork. ‘Don’t they look nice, Mam?’

  ‘They look lovely, sunshine.’ Dot put her arm round her daughter’s shoulders and hugged her tight. ‘Wait until I add mine, they’ll look even better.’

  ‘Look what else I’ve got.’ Katy’s tummy was churning with pleasure as she delved into her bag once more and brought out a box of Christmas crackers. They were bright red and had little sprigs of green and gold paper stuck on them. ‘They didn’t get sold, so Mrs Edwards said I could have them for nothing.’

  Dot held her tight as tears threatened. How different tomorrow was going to be from the last ten Christmases, when all the children got was an apple, an orange, some nuts and a paper comic. She couldn’t wait to see her son’s face when he came down in the morning. If Ted was looking down on them from heaven, she knew he’d be smiling with contentment that his family were finding their feet.

  ‘Mam, I’ll put a cracker each on the presents, then we can have another one on the table with our dinner tomorrow.’

  ‘You do that, sunshine, while I sort out what I’ve got to iron.’ Dot’s hand went to her mouth and her eyes flew open. ‘Oh, my God, I’ve just remembered our Colin asked for a cup of tea.’

  ‘I’ll see to it, Mam. It won’t take long ’cos the water’s still hot.’

  When Katy came downstairs again, she said, ‘Our Colin asked if Mr Kershaw was coming back and I told him he might. He said he likes him ’cos he didn’t treat him like a baby. And I thought he was really nice, too, Mam, so if he does ever come, yer will make him welcome, won’t yer?’

  ‘I usually do make people welcome, sunshine, but a lot of upsetting things happened today and it put me off me stride. First our Colin’s accident, then the trouble with next door – me nerves were gone.’ Dot was remembering what the drunkard from next door had said about John filling his boots in this house. When he’d had time to think about it, John would probably decide it was in his best interests to stay clear. She hoped so, because she didn’t want to get herself a bad name by having strange men coming to the house. ‘I promise I’ll make him welcome, sunshine, but I doubt we’ll ever see him again. He might live the other side of Liverpool for all we know.’

  ‘No, he doesn’t.’ Katy looked surprised. ‘Didn’t yer know, he lives in Springwell Road.’

  ‘Springwell Road!’ Dot’s voice reached a high note. ‘Yer mean at the top here?’

  Katy nodded. ‘He said if next door ever started any trouble, to let him know. He told me which house he lived in.’

  ‘Well, would yer believe it! Fancy him living right by us and we’ve never set eyes on him! It’s not as though yer could miss him, not the size he is.’

  ‘It’s a long road, Mam, there’s probably hundreds of people we don’t see. And Mr Kershaw lives right the other end.’ Katy wasn’t going to divulge anything else she’d been told, so she changed the subject. ‘I’ll finish the ironing while you do the pressies.’

  Chapter Six

  Dot raised her head from the pillow and blinked the sleep from her eyes. Something had woken her from a deep slumber but it wasn’t the alarm clock because she hadn’t set it last night. Looking at it now, the illuminated fingers told her it was six o’clock. It was pitch dark in the room and there wasn’t a sound except for the gentle breathing of her daughter lying next to her. She must have been imagining things, she told herself as she laid her head down and pulled the blanket up to her nose. Either that or it was the pipe-cleaners she’d put in her hair to titivate herself up for Christmas Day. ‘It serves me right for being so flamin’ vain,’ she muttered softly as she pulled the pillow down to fit comfortably into her neck. ‘And I don’t know why I bothered because we won’t see a living soul all day.’

  She closed her eyes and within seconds could feel herself drifting into sleep, thinking what a lovely sensation it was as your body floated on air and the troubles of the world were left behind. Then her eyes shot open. That was definitely a voice; she wasn’t imagining it. She sat up and cocked an ear. Oh Lord, Colin was awake.

  ‘Mam, what time is it?’

  ‘It’s only six o’clock, go back to sleep for an hour.’

  ‘But me foot’s sore, Mam.’

  Dot sighed as she slid her legs from under the clothes. She’d have to go into him or he’d wake Katy, and it wouldn’t be fair. It had been well after one o’clock when they’d come to bed, both weary after a long, hard day. The lino was freezing on her bare feet and she could feel the cold strike right through her body. ‘Listen, son, it’s far too early to get up. Go back to sleep for an hour and stop shouting.’

  ‘But me foot’s sore, Mam.’

  Dot didn’t believe him for a moment, but she wasn’t so old she’d forgotten how she was at his age. She used to use every trick in the book to get her parents out of bed at an unearthly hour. ‘If yer foot’s sore, sunshine, then the best thing for it is to rest in bed. So behave yerself, just for another half hour.’

  ‘Ah, ay, Mam!’

  ‘Colin, for once in yer life, do as ye’re told.’ With her arms stretched out in front of her to avoid obstacles, Dot made her way back to the front bedroom. She felt like a block of ice and was careful to keep to her side of the bed, away from Katy. She was so cold she didn’t even feel sleepy any more. So when Colin called out again ten minutes later, she was lying wide awake staring at the ceiling.

  ‘Mam, I want to go to the lavvy.’

  Dot smiled in the darkness. You had to hand it to the lad, he didn’t give up easily. He’d keep at it until she finally gave in, so she might just as well surrender now because she’d get no peace. She slipped out of bed and felt on the floor for her old bedroom slippers. Then she pulled
a cardigan on and tiptoed from the room.

  ‘I don’t want to hear one peep out of you, Colin, d’yer hear? I’m going down to light the fire so the room’s warm for yer, so hold yer horses for another ten minutes. If you wake our Katy up I’ll be real annoyed with yer ’cos she was on her feet for about eighteen hours yesterday. So don’t be selfish, think of somebody else for a change.’

  Now the wheels were in motion and turning, Colin was quite happy to promise a noise-free ten minutes. ‘I’ll be good, Mam.’

  Dot was sitting back on her heels watching the flames from the firewood dance around the cobs of coal, when the door opened and Katy came in. ‘Mam, why didn’t yer wake me? I’d have come down to light the fire.’

  ‘There’s no rest for the wicked where our Colin is concerned, sunshine, so I’m just as well making meself useful as lying in bed wide awake.’

  ‘He called out when he heard me.’ Katy rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands. ‘He said he wants to go down the yard.’

  ‘I could say he was a bloody nuisance but I won’t because it’s Christmas Day, a big day in the life of a child. And he is only a child.’

  ‘I know, Mam.’ Katy crossed the room to drop a kiss on her mother’s forehead. ‘A Happy Christmas, Mam.’

  ‘And the same to you, sunshine.’ Dot gave a quick glance at the fire to make sure it had caught before pressing on the floor and scrambling to her feet. ‘I can’t give yer a hug, ’cos me hands are black. I’ll give yer a double one later to make up for it.’

  ‘You wash yer hands, Mam, and I’ll make a pot of tea.’ Katy made a move towards the kitchen but stopped halfway. ‘I’ve got something on me mind, Mam, and I won’t rest if I don’t tell yer.’

  Dot was full of concern. ‘What is it, sunshine?’

  ‘I wasn’t going to tell yer, but when I heard yer saying to Mr Kershaw that yer didn’t believe in borrowing – well, I’ve been worrying about it. Yer see, I didn’t have enough money to buy decent presents for you and our Colin, and I wanted this Christmas to be special. So the woman in the little shop next to ours, she let me have two bob on tick. She said I could pay it back at sixpence a week.’ When her mother just stared at her without saying a word, Katy felt her heart sink. ‘I’m sorry, Mam.’

  Dot looked down at her dirty hands, then at her daughter. ‘Oh, to hell with it, what’s a bit of dirt between mother and daughter.’ She wrapped her arms around Katy and hugged her tight. ‘There’s no need to be sorry, sunshine. Yer did it to make someone happy and there’s no harm in that.’

  A voice came from above. ‘Me foot’s sore, I want to go to the lavvy and me throat’s dry for want of a drink.’

  Mother and daughter clung to each other, laughing. ‘My God, he doesn’t do things by half, does he?’ Dot chuckled. ‘I’ve had the foot and I’ve had the lavvy, but now he’s added thirst for good measure.’

  ‘Well, it is lousy for him when he can’t get about. You put the kettle on and wash yer hands, Mam, and I’ll help him out of bed and on to the stairs.’

  Dot stood in the hall and watched her son negotiate the stairs on his bottom. ‘Yer did well, son, as quick as yer would have done on yer two feet.’ She helped him stand on his right leg then put an arm around his waist and the other under his armpit. ‘Lean all yer weight on me – there, that’s right. Now start hopping.’

  Colin’s eyes went straight to the sideboard. ‘We’ve got crackers, Mam!’ His eyes were as round as saucers. ‘Oh boy, I’ve never pulled a cracker before.’ He’d stopped by the couch expecting to be set down, but his mother wasn’t having any.

  ‘Oh no, you don’t, young feller-me-lad, it’s down the yard with you. And after that I want to take a look at yer foot and put another cold compress on it. Then we can all sit down to open our presents with a nice cup of tea and a mince pie.’

  Colin howled with frustration. ‘Oh, no!’

  ‘Oh, but yes!’ Dot pulled him towards the kitchen. ‘Open the back door for us, Katy, there’s a good girl.’

  Ten minutes later Colin was sitting comfortably on the couch. His mother had examined his foot before putting the compress on, and was pleased that it didn’t seem quite as swollen as yesterday. She’d given his face and hands a cat’s lick and a promise with the flannel, and now he was ready for the big moment.

  Katy passed the crackers around first. ‘There’s paper hats in them, so we can look all Christmassy when we open our pressies. Here yer are, Colin, you can pull mine with me.’

  There was much laugher as crackers were pulled, mottoes read and paper hats perched on heads. ‘You look like a queen, Mam,’ Colin giggled, ‘with a crown on.’

  Dot laughed. ‘Oh, aye, I can see Queen Mary with pipe-cleaners in her hair.’ She patted her hair and adopted a posh accent. ‘Don’t you know, they’re the latest fashion? Oh yes, anybody who is anybody is wearing them.’

  Katy handed her brother four of the parcels off the sideboard. ‘You first, seeing as you’re the youngest. Those two are off our mam, and the other two off me.’

  The pale blue shirt was greeted with a knowing nod. ‘I knew yer wouldn’t leave me out.’ The selection box had his mouth watering. ‘Can I start on them now?’

  ‘No, wait until all the presents are open, then yer can give us all a square of chocolate.’

  The first parcel he opened of Katy’s brought forth a howl of delight. ‘Ooh, ay, Mam, just look at these. A scarf and gloves to match. There’ll be no holding me back when I’ve got these on, I’ll be the cock of the north.’

  Katy was pleased with his reaction. He wasn’t to know that she’d got them for half price because, as the woman in the shop told her, they were classed as seconds on account of there being a flaw in them. Nobody would know there was anything wrong with them because you’d need a magnifying glass to see the small knot in the wool.

  The last present had Colin bouncing up and down on the couch. It was a Beano Annual and he went into raptures over it. ‘I can’t believe it! Mam, I can’t believe it’s really mine! Oh, thank you, Katy, I’ll love yer forever for this.’ He stroked the hard-backed cover as though it was something precious. Indeed, it was precious to him. No more would he have to envy his friends who taunted him with their Beano and Dandy books. He was so overcome his eyes were brimming with tears when he looked at his sister. ‘This is the bestest present yer could have got me, our Katy, and I’ll take good care of it. I won’t lend it out, I promise.’

  ‘Doesn’t yer sister deserve a kiss?’ Dot asked quietly.

  ‘Yeah, I’ll say she does.’ Colin laid the treasured book on his lap and held his arms wide. ‘And a big hug.’

  Katy could feel his cheek wet with tears and she filled up herself when he whispered, ‘I love you, our Katy.’

  ‘And I love you, too.’ She ruffled his hair. ‘Now you be quiet while me mam sees what Santa’s brought for her.’

  Dot shook her head. ‘No, you first, sunshine.’

  Her hands trembling, Katy picked up her three parcels. Colin had his head buried in his book and Dot was unrolling the pipe-cleaners from her hair as she watched, praying her daughter wouldn’t be disappointed. Then the silence of the room was broken with Katy’s shrieks of delight as each parcel was unwrapped. She’d never had grown-up clothes before, and now she was the proud possessor of two blouses and a skirt her happiness knew no bounds. The blouse off the Edwards’ was in a pale blue with long sleeves, buttoned to the neck with pearl buttons and had a neat, pointed collar. The one off her mother was in a dusty pink, also with long sleeves and buttoned to the neck, but with a mandarin collar. And the navy blue skirt, fitted over the hips and then slightly flared, was, to Katy’s inexperienced eye, the height of fashion.

  Katy stared down at the clothes on her knee, savouring the moment and telling herself she wasn’t dreaming. Then she placed them down and went to hug her mother. ‘Thank you, Mam, they’re lovely. I didn’t expect so much and I’m a very lucky girl. But yer shouldn’t have spent so much on me,
really yer shouldn’t. I bet yer haven’t got anything new for yerself, have yer?’

  ‘Yes I have, sunshine. I bought meself a skirt when I was getting yours. They’re only cheap but I did the best I could with the money I had. I cut down a bit on food, like only getting a chicken instead of a turkey, but we won’t starve.’

  ‘Yer did right, Mam. I’d rather have something new to wear than stuffing meself with food, any day.’ Katy tilted her head and asked, ‘What’s your skirt like?’

  ‘Just plain, like yours, only in dark brown.’

  ‘Then my present will go lovely with it.’ Katy took the last parcel from the sideboard and handed it over. ‘I was going to buy yer two small presents but changed me mind and got one good one. I hope yer’ll like it.’

  The jumper was in the palest of green, knitted in a delicate open-work pattern. It was so pretty, Dot was lost for words. How long was it since she’d had anything as lovely as this? For the last ten years everything she’d bought had to be cheap and hard-wearing. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone into a shop and bought something just because she liked the look of it.

  ‘D’yer like it, Mam? I thought the colour would suit yer ’cos of yer hazel eyes.’

  ‘It’s beautiful, sunshine.’ Dot fingered the soft wool. ‘It looks hand-knitted.’

  ‘It was, Mam!’ Katy leaned forward, her face eager. ‘Some woman does knitting and sells it to Mrs Green in the shop to make a few bob. I was told she makes a couple every week, so she mustn’t half be a fast knitter. Anyway, I’d gone in the shop to get a pair of woollen gloves for yer when the woman turned up with two jumpers. I fell for that one right away because the colour’s so pretty.’

  ‘And yer ended up getting tick.’ Dot smiled. ‘I’m glad yer did, sunshine, ’cos I’ll feel like a million dollars in this.’

  Colin had been staring at the same picture in his book while he listened to his mother and sister. Now he said, ‘Yer’ll look pretty in it, Mam, with yer new skirt and yer hair all done nice. And our Katy will look nice, too. We’ve all done well, haven’t we? I never knew that Christmas Day could be like this.’