Walking My Baby Back Home

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Dot looked horrified. ‘Could he have passed it on to Mary?’

  ‘He could have, but Mary didn’t give him the chance. She had guessed he was going with what she called floosies, because she could smell their cheap perfume on him. But she didn’t know he had the disease. And today was the first time in about eight months that he tried to force her into having intercourse with him. She threatened him with the poker and that’s when he grabbed the baby. The rest you know.’

  ‘My God, he was a bigger swine than I thought he was.’ Betty’s nostrils were flared in anger. He knew what he had was catching and yet he’d have passed it on to Mary. ‘I’m glad he’s dead, the bugger.’

  ‘But what is going on the death certificate as the cause of death?’ Dot still wasn’t easy in her mind. ‘Mary’s not in trouble, is she?’

  ‘No.’ John looked from one to the other. ‘What I’m going to tell you isn’t to go any further than these four walls. I can’t tell you what Dr Gray will write on the certificate, but from what he said, Tom Campbell could have had a dizzy spell while trying to abuse his wife, fallen over and hit his head on the fender. Under the circumstances, he’s quite satisfied that the man brought about his own death. So as far as anyone else is concerned, all they need to be told is that he had an unlucky fall.’

  ‘Does Mary know all this?’

  ‘Yes, Dot, she knows it all. She’s taking it quite well, thanks to the O’Connors. They are going to be her lifeline.’

  ‘I’ll go up and see her after we’ve had our tea. I want to see for meself that she’s all right, and the baby.’

  John grinned. ‘What is for tea, Dorothy?’

  ‘Bacon, egg and tomato.’

  ‘Good, I’m famished.’

  Betty sighed as she pushed herself up. ‘I suppose I’d better show me face and feed the gang. But I’m coming up to see Mary with yer, otherwise I won’t get any sleep for worrying.’

  Mary seemed calm and composed as she sat on the O’Connors’ couch dressed in one of Maggie’s warm dressing gowns. The baby was upstairs in bed, and although she’d cried for a while, Mary said her daughter was cute enough to know she was back in the house she was born in, with people who loved her. ‘Maggie and Paddy are spoiling her, and they’re spoiling me. I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I don’t ever fancy going back to that house because it holds so many bad memories.’

  ‘It wouldn’t if it was decorated from top to bottom,’ John said. ‘It would look a different house altogether.’

  ‘Sure, John and me could have it like a little palace for yer in no time at all, so we could.’ Paddy reached for his wife’s hand. ‘Me and my Maggie don’t want yer to move away from us, and that’s the truth of it.’

  ‘But how am I going to live? I’ll have no money, I couldn’t even pay the rent.’ There was no self-pity in Mary’s voice, she was just stating facts. ‘Today’s been a bad day for me. I can’t seem to think clearly. John’s brought me the wages he found in Tom’s pocket, and I can claim his week in hand. That will keep me going for a few weeks, but after that I’ve no idea.’

  ‘Listen to me, me darlin’.’ Maggie sat forward, her elbows resting on her knees. ‘While yer were upstairs with the baby, me and Paddy had a good talk. We’d not like yer to think we want to run yer life for yer, but sure, at a time like this, yer need help. So why don’t yer bury yer pride and let all yer friends muck in together to decorate yer house? We all want to help yer, so we do, and what’s a few rolls of wallpaper and a few tins of paint?’

  ‘We’ll decorate it whether yer like it or not, Mary,’ Dot said. ‘We’ll be doing it for ourselves as much as you, because when we come for a cuppa we want to sit somewhere cheerful, not in a ruddy mausoleum.’

  Betty gave her a dig in the ribs. ‘What’s a mausoleum, girl?’

  ‘I don’t really know, sunshine, except it sounds a miserable place.’

  Mary smiled briefly. ‘Dot, I know ye’re all trying to do yer best for me, but I have to be realistic. I don’t want to move away from you, any of you – it’ll break my heart. Don’t yer think I know that Trudy’s going to need all the love she can get when she starts walking and playing out? I think about nothing else! But how do I pay the rent and other bills, and keep meself and the baby?’

  ‘You could get a job, me darlin’,’ Maggie said in her soft Irish brogue, ‘and I’ll mind the baby. That way we all get what we want. We’ll still have you and Trudy amongst us, and you’ll have a wage coming in and keep yer pride and independence.’

  ‘Brilliant!’ Like everyone else, John’s eyes had lit up at Maggie’s words. ‘There you have the perfect solution, Mary.’

  ‘Oh, sunshine, wouldn’t that be marvellous?’

  ‘What more d’yer want, girl? Handed to yer on a bleedin’ plate, it is.’

  They talked until nearly midnight, and when Mary went to bed she felt as though her life was just beginning. Her friends had filled her heart with hope of a bright future ahead for her and Trudy. What she would have done without those friends she couldn’t imagine. They’d shown her a love and generosity that went beyond mere friendship. They’d help her put the darkness behind her, and her beloved baby would grow up surrounded by love and laughter. She would never know the evil that was her father.

  Dot sighed as she slipped into her coat on the Monday morning. It had been the most miserable weekend she’d ever known and she found herself wishing the week away. After the funeral perhaps they could get back to normal instead of creeping around the house, afraid to smile. ‘I’m off, sunshine!’ she shouted through to Katy who was getting washed in the kitchen. ‘I’ll see yer tonight.’

  ‘OK, Mam.’

  When Dot saw the letter lying on the floor in the hall, she felt like kissing it. At last, something to be happy about. She hurried back to the kitchen. ‘Ye’re doing well, sunshine – here’s another letter from Billy.’

  Katy’s face lit up. ‘Ooh, I hope he tells me when he’s coming home.’

  ‘I hope so, too, sunshine, Anyway, ta-ra for now.’

  It was a one-page letter again, but Katy didn’t mind because, as her eyes scanned the lines, it told her what she wanted to know. Billy would be home on Thursday night. He couldn’t tell her the exact time, and it would only be for a few hours, but it might be long enough for them to go to the pictures. He told her to be ready about half-six and he’d be there as near that time as possible. There was a long line of kisses, then he’d written a PS which had Katy laughing out loud. They’d be going on the back row of the pictures and she wasn’t to wear lipstick because he intended to make up for lost time.

  She hugged the letter to her chest. She was going to have a serious talk with him in between kisses on that back row. She’d allow him one more trip to sea and that was all. Life wasn’t the same without him; she felt as though part of her was missing. And that part was Billy Harlow.

  ‘The funeral is on Thursday morning at ten o’clock,’ John said, when he called that night. ‘I’ve just been along to tell Mary and ask what arrangements she’d like making.’

  ‘I can’t go, John, because I can’t afford to lose a day’s pay. But Betty said she’ll go with the O’Connors, so at least someone will be there.’ Dot narrowed her eyes. ‘Who’s paying for all this? I know Mary can’t afford it.’

  John gave a quick, knowing glance to where Colin was sitting. ‘Dr Gray managed to get some money from a welfare fund, and that’s taking care of the funeral arrangements – nothing elaborate, but better than a pauper’s burial. I’m paying for the hire of a car and some flowers, and I’m taking a couple of hours off, so I’ll be on hand if Mary needs help. She doesn’t want the hearse coming here, it’s to go straight to the cemetery. So it’ll just be the one car going from here.’

  ‘I’ll come with yer, Mr Kershaw.’ Colin was looking very serious. He hadn’t seen what was happening next door, he’d never got further than the back door, but the urgency in the voices had affected him.
And then Mr Campbell dying, it was all very serious stuff to a thirteen-year-old lad. ‘I can take a day off school.’

  ‘Yer will not!’ Dot was adamant. ‘A funeral is no place for a youngster, only if it’s someone in the family.’ She turned her eyes on John. ‘At least our Katy’s got something to be happy about – Billy’s coming home on Thursday.’

  ‘Yes, I know. She’d been up to tell the O’Connors and Mary, just before I got there. They said she looks as happy as Larry.’

  ‘God love her, she’s over the moon. She’ll be in Doreen’s now, telling her the good news. If Billy’s missing her as much as she’s missing him, I think his life at sea will be a very short and miserable one.’

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It was a bitterly cold night and Dot was glad to close the door behind her. As soon as the dinner was over she was going to put her feet up in front of the fire and to hell with everything. The world wouldn’t stop turning if she didn’t change the beds tonight – it wasn’t as though they were dirty. She was dropping the key in her bag when she cocked an ear. That sounded like Katy’s laugh, but it was too early for her to be home.

  Dot pushed the living-room door open and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw her daughter sitting next to Colin at the table, while John was reclining in front of the fire with his hands laced behind his head and his long legs stretched out. ‘Well, I’ll be blowed!’ Dot closed the door quickly to keep out the draught. ‘Am I the only worker in this house?’

  ‘Mrs Edwards let me off early, Mam, so I could doll meself up for Billy coming.’ Katy’s face was glowing. ‘She said he might just come early and I wouldn’t want to miss spending as much time with him as possible.’

  ‘That was thoughtful of her.’ Dot smiled, happy for her daughter. It was nice to have something pleasant happen after the horror of last Saturday. She didn’t think she’d ever get that out of her mind. ‘You look very nice, too, sunshine.’ Her eyes were on John as she was hanging her coat up. ‘And what, pray, are you doing here so early?’

  ‘I didn’t go back to work after the funeral. Mary looked dreadful – white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf. So Betty and I decided to have a bite to eat with the O’Connors and it ended up with us staying a couple of hours. I’m pleased to say Mary was looking better by the time we left.’

  ‘How did the funeral go?’

  ‘No funeral is ever a happy occasion. We tried to persuade Mary not to go because she is obviously still in shock, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She said no matter what he was, what he’d put her through, he was still her husband and she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t go to his funeral.’

  Dot was eyeing the couch. Should she sit down for five minutes or see to the dinner? The trouble was, if she sat down she’d never get up again. John saw the expression on her face and knew what she was thinking. He lowered his arms, drew in his legs, and smiled. ‘Sit down, my Delectable Dorothy, the dinner will be served in about five minutes.’

  When the children’s faces gave nothing away, Dot rounded on John. Hands on hips and head tilted, she demanded: ‘Have you been and bought fish and chips? I’ll crown yer, if yer have.’

  ‘Does your delicate nose not detect a smell?’

  The children were giggling now as Dot sniffed up. ‘I thought I could smell baking when I came in, but it can’t be ’cos there’s no one here to bake.’ Then she grinned down at him. ‘Go on, clever clogs, tell me yer as good as baking as yer are at everything else.’

  John got to his feet. ‘Sit down, Dorothy, and get waited on for a change.’ He pressed her down on to the couch and patted her cheek. ‘Behave yourself and do as you’re told.’ He slipped off his suit jacket and hung it over the back of a chair. ‘Set the table, Katy, please, while I prepare dinner.’

  As soon as he opened the kitchen door the most delicious smell wafted in and Dot sniffed in appreciation. ‘That smells absolutely bloody marvellous! What have yer been up to, John Kershaw? Not that I mind. If it tastes as good as it smells, I don’t give a monkey’s who, why, when or where.’

  John appeared in the doorway. ‘Will you take your seats at the table, please, dinner is about to be served.’ He disappeared briefly then returned carrying a huge brown earthenware dish. The steam was rising from it, and he had a cloth around his hands to protect them from the heat. He set the basin in the middle of the table and stood back with a pleased expression on his face. ‘Your dinner, my Delightful, Delectable Dorothy.’

  Dot’s jaw dropped. The dish was covered with a golden-brown pastry, and from the three slits in the centre of it came the most delicious aroma. ‘I don’t know whether to eat first and ask questions later, or ask questions first. The trouble is, if I didn’t like yer answer I’d feel obligated not to eat any of that delicious pie which is making me mouth water and me tummy rumble. So I’ll ask questions later and box yer ears if I don’t like yer answer.’

  John passed her a plate and a large spoon. ‘You be mother.’

  ‘I need a knife to cut the pastry, soft lad.’ Dot rubbed her hand in circles on her tummy before taking the knife from him. ‘I haven’t had a proper steak and kidney pie for years. I used to be a dab hand at pastry, but I’m out of practice now.’ She cut a large portion of the shortcrust pastry and put it on the plate, then spooned on steak and kidney, carrots, onions and potatoes, all in a rich dark gravy. ‘Here yer are, Katy, you have yours first in case Billy comes.’ As she was serving Colin, she said, ‘It’s no good, me curiosity is getting the better of me and I can’t wait. Who’s our guardian angel?’

  ‘Maggie made it.’

  ‘Maggie?’ Dot’s voice was high with surprise. ‘Why would Maggie make a pie for us? Didn’t she have enough on today, what with looking after Mary, and the funeral and all?’

  ‘Would you like me to take it back and tell her you don’t want it?’

  ‘Not yet, yer can take it back after we’ve eaten it.’ She passed the plate to her son. ‘I might be pig-headed, John, but not that pig-headed. I’m delighted, I really am, it’s very good of her. But how did it come about? She’s never done it before, and I bet she didn’t just say, right out of the blue, “Oh, I think I’ll make a pie for the Bakers”.’

  ‘It was just one of those things. I happened to pass comment on the delicious smell coming from the kitchen and Maggie said she was cooking the steak and kidney to put in a pie she was making for their dinner. Then she said she’d done far too much, and did I think you’d be insulted if she made you one. It was as easy as that, Dorothy, nothing sinister.’

  Katy gave a high-pitched shriek when a knock came on the door, and she was in such a hurry to stand up she sent her chair flying back to bang against the sideboard. ‘It’s Billy!’

  ‘All right, sunshine, calm down, will yer? There’s no need to knock the happy home around. I know the sideboard’s as old as the hills, but it’s all we’ve got.’

  But Katy was in the hall by this time and they heard the happy sound of two young people meeting after a spell apart. When they came into the room, hand-in-hand, their faces were pink with happiness and traces of stolen kisses. ‘Hi-ya, everyone.’ Billy’s grin covered them all. ‘I bet ye’re all glad to have me back, aren’t yer? I hope yer answer’s better than the one I got off me mam, when I asked if she’d missed me. “I missed yer like a pain in the backside, son,” that’s what she said. Mind you, she was hugging the life out of me when she said it.’

  ‘It’s lovely to see yer, son, and I’ve missed yer.’ The joy of the two youngsters rubbed off on Dot and she felt part of their happiness. ‘I don’t know about Katy, but I certainly missed yer smiling face.’

  ‘Does being a seafarer come up to your expectations, Billy?’ John was filled with envy. This young lad, fifteen years of age, had found the girl he wanted to spend his life with and wasn’t afraid to show his feelings. ‘Do you fancy a life on the briny?’

  ‘I enjoyed it, Mr Kershaw, it’s a good life. I would have enjoyed it more if Katy
had been with me.’ He turned sideways to grin at the pretty girl hanging on to him like grim death. ‘I’m too used to seeing her every day, and I didn’t half miss her.’

  ‘Who’s going to win then, sunshine? Our Katy or the sea?’

  ‘No competition there, Mrs Baker. One more trip and then I’m home for good.’

  Katy couldn’t have looked happier. ‘That’s my boy.’

  ‘And this is your dinner, come and get it down yer.’ Dot pointed to the half-empty plate. ‘Billy, would yer like some steak and kidney pie? There’s plenty here.’

  ‘Mrs Baker, I’m full to the brim, I couldn’t eat another mouthful.’ Billy sat on the arm of the couch when Katy returned to her chair. ‘Me mam had a big fry-up waiting for me, and she said if I didn’t eat every scrap she’d give me a clip round the ears. She’s of the opinion that her lovely son hasn’t been getting fed properly. But we get plenty of grub, and it’s good. I didn’t tell me mam that though, or I’d definitely have got a clip around the ears for practically saying her cooking was no good.’ He winked at John. ‘Like me dad says, Mr Kershaw, yer can’t win with women. It’s best to just sit back and agree with everything they say.’

  Katy pushed her plate away. ‘Mam, is it all right if I leave you or Colin to wash the dishes? Billy hasn’t got long and we want to go to the pictures.’

  ‘You run along, sunshine, don’t worry about the dishes.’ Dot swivelled in her chair. ‘Will we see yer again before yer go, Billy?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’ve got to be back on the ship for eleven o’clock, we’re sailing with the first tide. But I’ll walk Katy home first, so yer don’t have to worry about her. I’d never leave her to walk home on her own, ever.’

  Colin had been busy eating until now, but he had to air his complaint. ‘Ah, ay, Billy! Haven’t yer got time to tell us where yer’ve been, or what it’s like when the wind’s strong and the ship rolls around?’