From Fling to Wedding Ring

by Karin Baine

  ‘Good. I’m glad you’re taking some of my advice on board.’

  ‘And you’re really okay with me moving out?’ Although they’d discussed the possibility, it would be a big change for all of them and Mollie was afraid it might prove too much.

  ‘One hundred per cent. I’ve told you, I’m staying put from now on. I need to put down some roots.’ Talia ripped off a piece of the cereal box and shredded it into tiny pieces of anxiety confetti. It didn’t take a psychic twin bond to figure out there was something wrong.

  ‘Why? Is there something going on I don’t know about?’ Mollie had grabbed at the opportunity of independence when the subject had first arisen; she hadn’t really given any thought as to what had really brought her sister home.

  ‘I guess I’m not going to be able to hide it much longer... I’m pregnant, Mollie.’

  It wasn’t the bombshell she’d been expecting but it left her stunned nonetheless.

  Her sister was going to have a baby. She was going to be an auntie.

  Mollie immediately dashed around the table to give her a hug because she could see for herself just how much the thought of becoming a mum terrified her sister. ‘This is good news, right?’

  ‘I’m not ready for this.’ Tears were dripping down Talia’s face now as the enormity of her situation fully hit home.

  ‘Hey, you’ve always got me. We’ll get through this together.’ Now wasn’t the time to ask about the father, when she’d made it clear he wasn’t in the picture.

  Talia wrestled out of her grip and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘That’s exactly why I was supposed to wait until you’d moved out before I told you. This is my mess. You’ve covered for me here long enough. I can’t keep expecting you to pick up the pieces. We both know what kind of mum that would make me to this baby.’ Her fears of ending up like their own mother, who was still asleep upstairs, oblivious to the life-changing revelation going on in the kitchen, were well founded. Absentee parents, missing in their kids’ lives either physically or mentally, did not make for nostalgic childhoods. They would both do whatever they could to prevent that happening to another generation.

  ‘Is that why you’re so keen to get rid of me? So you can turn my room into a nursery?’ Mollie was only half joking, when Talia’s insistence she could manage her mum and the house on her own made even less sense now Mollie knew about her predicament.

  ‘I’ve travelled, I’ve had my fun and now it’s time I grew up and accepted my own responsibilities.’

  ‘You’re making it sound as though you’re a hundred years old and ready to lie down and die, not a young woman about to embark on the biggest adventure of her life into parenthood.’ A baby was an incredible responsibility but it was also something to celebrate. Mollie didn’t want her to think this was the end of her life when it was the start of an exciting new chapter for her.

  ‘Believe me I’ve thought long and hard about what I’m getting myself into and that’s why I’m positive you should still move out. I don’t want to be the one who keeps holding you back. If you’re still here when the baby comes, you know you’ll never make the break. It’s not as though we’re never going to see each other, and perhaps Mum and I might both be finally forced to step up if we stop relying on you to fix everything.’ This was the most maturity she’d ever displayed and yet Mollie couldn’t prevent anxiety burrowing deep into her skin at the prospect of leaving these two to fend for themselves.

  ‘And if you can’t manage Mum and a baby?’ It was all well and good telling her to move out and take on her own place with her own bills, but if Talia decided one day she couldn’t handle it after all and took off again, Mollie would be the one left to pick up the pieces.

  ‘I’ll just have to, won’t I?’ It was exactly that lack of foresight that gave Mollie serious second thoughts about keeping her viewing appointment later. Sure, Talia had good intentions now, but there was no coping strategy in place, no carefully thought-out ‘what if’ plan to cover all eventualities. That was probably how she’d ended up alone and pregnant in the first place.

  * * *

  With more coercing from Talia, Mollie did go to see the flat in the end and it was on her mind during rehearsal. Now she was more torn than ever about leaving home. Okay, so it needed a deep clean and the smell of grease from the chip shop below lingered in the air, but it was the independent lifestyle it represented she found attractive. Along with the price. Thanks to her private practice outside the clinic—tattooing eyebrows for cosmetic as well as medical reasons—she’d managed to put away a small nest egg. Unfortunately London house prices wouldn’t allow her to rent anything more glamorous than a one-bedroom flat so she’d never been expecting to move straight into the home of her dreams.

  ‘Your head’s really not in the game tonight.’ Ben hopped around in a circle as he worked through the pain of having his foot stamped on for the umpteenth time that night.

  The one benefit there’d been in worrying herself sick over the situation at home was that she’d been too consumed by it to leave any space for worrying about coming here tonight. Whether or not she moved out of home, there was absolutely no room for anyone else in her life. No matter how good a kisser.

  That didn’t mean it was easy to continue these lessons as though nothing had happened. Mollie tried to look anywhere other than his face, so close to hers—that dark smudge on the wall where someone had left a dirty fingerprint in the fresh paint, the mirror-like shine on his shoes—but her whole body was tense with awareness now she was back in his arms.

  She was a bundle of nerves again, trying to get her head around the new steps he’d shown her, but it was difficult to concentrate when there were so many new feelings and emotions zinging through her body every time she came into contact with Ben.

  He’d awakened a part of her she’d thought she’d shut down for ever—that desire to be with someone so great it overshadowed the possible consequences. Every time she faced spending time with him she was pumped up with the anticipation of seeing him and fear of how he was changing her. Until he’d shown an interest in her that seemed to go beyond duty, she’d accepted the idea of being alone, content to simply move out of home. Now she was constantly thinking about the alternative and how much more fulfilling her days were with him in them. They had a real connection, which seemed to cross over into their personal lives as well as their professional ones, and it meant a lot having someone who could relate to her circumstances without judgement.

  There was also that overwhelming urge to have him kiss her again, which she couldn’t shake off and she didn’t know what to do about it. It wasn’t as though she could keep her distance, given the reason they were here, and if she was honest it was contributing to this growing sense of panic threatening to consume her. This was a lot of new ground for her to get used to all at once and she wasn’t managing any of it effectively.

  Ben was right: neither her head, nor her heart, were committed solely to dancing tonight.

  ‘Sorry. I’ve a lot on my mind.’ She broke frame, dropping her arms to her sides along with any pretence she could carry this off. There were a lot bigger decisions for her to make other than which way to spin next. If the worst came to pass she’d simply let Ben trail her around the floor on the night of the competition, because she had more faith in him than she did in herself right now. The consequences of her next steps outside this room could have serious repercussions for everyone around her, and that was enough pressure without the worry of publicly embarrassing herself on the dance floor.

  ‘Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night. I’ll understand if you want to back out of this.’ Ben quickstepped away from her to turn off the CD. They didn’t really need the song playing anyway, when Mollie could hear it in her head and picture the steps every time she closed her eyes.

  It took her a second to work out what he was referring to,
because uncomfortable wasn’t the word she associated with what they’d done in his apartment. Passionate, surprising, exciting maybe, but never uncomfortable. She hadn’t known how to respond to the situation then any more than the one she found herself in now. If she walked away now she knew she’d come to regret it. This was supposed to be the beginning of her independence and doing things she wanted to do. Despite all her anxieties, she knew she’d have a harder time giving this up than seeing it through. Dancing had brought her a lot of pleasure, as had kissing Ben, and she didn’t want to deny herself the opportunity of either happening again. The prospect of something more happening between them, regardless of the palpitations it induced, was also strong motivation to continue.

  ‘How is your grandfather?’ She purposely misinterpreted his meaning so she could delay analysing that kiss a bit longer.

  Ben took a few beats before he said, ‘Fine. He’s a bit more subdued than usual but Amy’s spending the day with him.’

  Mollie took a swig from the bottle of water she’d brought in with her. The cool liquid couldn’t quench the new thirst she’d developed over the course of the past twenty-four hours but it would have to do. It was definitely the less complicated option.

  ‘I’m glad he’s okay. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, him, last night.’ Mollie swallowed her Freudian slip down with another mouthful of water. He didn’t need to know her last thought before drifting off to sleep had been that clinch and what could have been.

  ‘I’d be grateful if you could keep it all to yourself.’

  She almost spat out that last gulp of fresh spring water again as she read between the lines. If they weren’t going to carry on from where they left off, then he didn’t want his reputation tarnished by being romantically linked to her. ‘Of course. I haven’t said a word to anyone.’

  ‘It’s just... It’s private, you know? I’d rather keep family details out of the workplace. He doesn’t have much of his dignity left and I’d like to preserve whatever I can for now.’

  ‘Your secret’s safe with me. I know only too well how important it is to keep the two separate. If people knew the half of what went on in my house I doubt I’d be allowed to practise.’ So she was exaggerating a fraction, but she’d always imagined if people knew the stresses she’d been through they would think her work might be compromised in some way, and kept herself to herself as a result.

  Ben raised his dark eyebrows at the revelation. ‘You have a wild side I don’t know about?’

  Flashes of that wild side from last night came to mind, when she’d abandoned all thoughts of convention in favour of acting recklessly for once, but he knew all about that. ‘Not me.’

  ‘Ah, that famous sister of yours? I’ll have to meet her some day.’

  ‘Unfortunately, I have my mother to contend with, as well.’ She’d wouldn’t normally let details of her home life slip out so easily, but since she’d seen his for herself there seemed little harm in letting him know he wasn’t the only one dealing with family problems. Sometimes the knowledge you weren’t alone in your suffering was enough to get you from one day to the next.

  ‘She’s a bit of a handful, too?’

  ‘You could say that. She...she doesn’t manage very well on her own. That’s why I had to get back last night. I didn’t want her to worry.’ It was an excuse for running out so her lack of experience wasn’t so blindingly obvious.

  ‘You live with your mother?’ He tilted his head to one side, probably thinking how quaint, or sad, that was for a grown woman. Somehow living with a sick, elderly relative seemed nobler than staying at home because of the guilt you’d caused your parents’ divorce and your mother’s subsequent descent into self-destruction.

  ‘Not for long. Now Talia’s back she’s going to take over some of the responsibility. In fact, I went to view a flat only today. It won’t be long before I’m living independently and not having to worry about what either of them get up to.’ She was rambling in her effort to convince him there was more to her life than babysitting grown adults, or, at least, there would be soon.

  ‘That sounds nice.’ He nodded his head, a sadness moving across his features, which she recognised as a longing for that same freedom. She’d worn a similar expression every time she’d waved Talia off on one of her adventures.

  ‘Well, there’s nothing set in stone yet. I’m just looking at my options. I got some news today that’s actually making me rethink the whole idea.’

  ‘Anything I can help you with?’

  She hesitated in spilling the family secret so soon but after tonight’s disastrous performance she reckoned she owed him an explanation. Besides, she needed someone to talk to about her situation who wasn’t family.

  She gave a sigh before she let go of the secret. ‘Talia’s pregnant. You won’t say anything in work, will you? I don’t think she’s told anyone else yet. I’m not even sure she’s told the father—’

  ‘Wow. That’s big. Your secret’s safe with me, though.’ He smiled as they entered into a pact never to discuss each other’s personal lives and Mollie was glad now more than ever she hadn’t said too much to Talia about what had happened with his grandfather.

  ‘Thanks. It’s a relief just to say it out loud and admit I’m as terrified as she is about the idea of a baby coming.’ She’d offered nothing but support to Talia on hearing the news, but inside she shared all the same fears.

  An awkward silence fell around the room and she began to castigate herself for oversharing. He had enough of his own problems to deal with without listening to hers. They were only supposed to be here to dance, for goodness’ sake.

  ‘Who’s next? Anyone?’ he continued, glancing over his shoulder as if he expected to see someone else gatecrashing their rehearsal.

  ‘Are you expecting someone?’

  ‘I was just waiting for the next member of the support group to pop up and introduce themselves.’ The teasing smile softened Mollie’s bristles and stopped her from taking offence.

  ‘We are a pair, aren’t we?’ There were very few who understood the struggle of caring for family, seeing it as the duty of a daughter, or a grandson, with no notion of how much energy it took to keep that family ticking over. It was nice to be able to get things off her chest with someone who knew what she was going through.

  ‘I reckon we deserve some time off. Fancy playing hooky for the night?’ The mischievous wink should’ve tripped her self-preservation alarm, which activated every time someone asked her out, but he wasn’t just any man and she knew he didn’t have a hidden agenda when he’d already told her he wanted to forget their last lapse. She was sure he was simply as worn down as she was with the constant stress of doing the right thing.

  ‘What about rehearsal?’ As tempting as it was to ditch one of her responsibilities for a while, she didn’t want it to come at the price of later humiliation when her lack of practice became obvious to everyone paying to see them dance.

  ‘We’ll catch up. I promise. No one’s expecting us home for ages and I think we both deserve some time off, don’t you?’

  She wasn’t sure they’d put in enough work here to qualify as a full rehearsal, but they’d definitely earned a break from real life for a while.

  * * *

  ‘Do I need to change?’ With those long legs, Mollie matched him stride for stride along the street as he hurried towards the lights beckoning in the distance. That fantasy land he knew was waiting out there on the heath was the first place he’d thought of when the need to escape reality for a while had become too great for either of them to deny.

  He gave her outfit choice a cursory glance, even though the dark denim skinny jeans clinging to her curves and mint-green buttoned-down sweater were indelibly inked on his brain for the foreseeable future. ‘You’re perfect.’

  It was obvious neither of them was in the right head space to get involved and ye
t he’d given into carnal temptation and almost ruined the bond they’d forged. Perhaps if this had come around at a different time in their lives they might have been able to pursue this connection they had. There was undeniably a mutual attraction and she got him more than anyone had since his grandparents had taken him in. In different circumstances they might have made the perfect couple, but he would never have the chance to find out for certain. There was no point getting involved in another relationship when outside commitments would never permit a happily-ever-after ending.

  He was glad she’d still felt able to confide in him about her family situation and hopefully he’d repair whatever damage he’d done to their relationship with this impromptu night out. They might even manage to squeeze in some practice here, working on their balance, or at least helping them to relax around one another again without the shadow of that kiss making things awkward between them.

  The Ferris wheel came into sight long before the smell of fresh popcorn and candy floss reached them.

  ‘A funfair?’

  He could see the layers stripping away until she was a child again, free from stress and responsibility and keen only to take part in the festivities. Exactly what he’d hoped for.

  ‘A vintage funfair, organised by the local church to raise funds for their overseas charity work. We helped make some of the stall signs at The Shed.’ He’d been proud they’d contributed in some part to the cause but he hadn’t thought beyond making a donation personally. However, when it had become clear Mollie was too distracted to rehearse he’d thought this might be a good place to escape for a while. His instinct proved correct as she ran ahead, fitting in so seamlessly with the glamour and excitement of the spectacle.

  ‘Oh, Ben, it’s fantastic!’ She planted a swift kiss on his cheek when he caught up with her, and though he was sure she’d left a glossy red imprint there he couldn’t bear to wipe away any trace of her. He wanted to capture a small part of her joy for himself.