From Fling to Wedding Ring

by Karin Baine

  She stepped into the shower and did her best to wash away all traces of these past nights together so she couldn’t remember the way he’d held her, or the confident way he’d stepped up during the emergency in The Shed, where for once she hadn’t been the only one expected to deal with the crisis. It didn’t work.

  Once she’d dried off she grabbed the clean white shirt hanging on the back of the door and hoped Ben wouldn’t mind her borrowing it in the circumstances. Although it showed more leg than she was happy with, it was sufficient for her to wear as a makeshift dress until her own clothes were ready.

  She threw her clothes in the machine on the quickest wash possible and took a seat on the sofa to wait.

  * * *

  Ben phoned for a taxi once he knew Tom was settled in Recovery, thankful Mollie had volunteered to lock up for him so he could go straight home. She’d been a great help tonight again, not afraid to get her clothes dirty when they were scrabbling about trying to keep Tom conscious and sharing some of the responsibilities Ben usually had to deal with on his own. It was good to have someone to count on in times of crisis and he was lucky to have Mollie in his life.

  He just wished she’d show him a sign that she wouldn’t jump ship when he was starting to rely on her being there.

  He knocked lightly on the door, hoping Amy was still around to let him in. If not he was going to have to track down the building supervisor and all he wanted to do right now was collapse into bed.

  After a few breath-holding seconds he heard the bolt sliding from the door and the lock turning as he was granted entry into the house. He was going to have to get a taxi to retrieve the car first thing in the morning. After he contacted Mollie, of course, to somehow recover the keys first.

  ‘I’m sorry—’ The oft-heard apology died on his lips when the door opened and he was greeted by a far different sight than the one he’d expected. Mollie, barefoot, her hair wet and loose around her shoulders and wearing one of his shirts, sucked the breath clean out of his lungs and rendered him speechless. The vision was so surreal he wondered if he hadn’t fallen asleep in the taxi and this was nothing more than a fantasy born of overwork and lack of sleep.

  ‘I brought your keys and phone over... I was covered in blood... I thought I could wash them before you got home and Hugh was here on his own...’

  He was treated to the fine sight of her bare legs as she walked away muttering a rambled explanation of her appearance, the split in the side of his shirt revealing a tantalising glimpse of a pale pink cherry-blossom design disappearing up along her thigh.

  ‘Nice tattoo,’ he said, revealing exactly where his gaze had lingered. As soon as the words left his lips he regretted them as she tugged at the hem of the shirt, suddenly self-conscious. She’d done so much for him tonight and everyone around him, and making her feel uncomfortable wasn’t the way he should’ve repaid her kindness.

  ‘Thanks. How’s Tom?’ She did her best to change the focus of their conversation but Ben couldn’t seem to draw his eyes away from the creamy white skin of her thigh. He knew it was probably unheard of for tattoo artists not to have some skin art of their own, but that sneak peek of the woman behind the vintage clothes and cover girl make-up only made him want to know more about the woman behind the Ice Queen misnomer.

  ‘Only time will tell how much use he’ll regain in his fingers but physio should help him with that. Hopefully there’s not too much long-term damage.’ Tom’s arm would remain in a splint for the foreseeable future and his aftercare would be as important as the surgery Ben had just carried out.

  ‘I’m glad you were there.’ She gave a shiver and Ben knew she was contemplating what could’ve happened if not for their actions. Tom could easily have bled to death if they hadn’t had their pizza date upstairs.

  ‘I couldn’t have done it without you.’ Her response had helped cut the waiting time for Tom to be seen to and gone some way towards preventing him going into shock and suffering a worse fate than tendon damage.

  ‘I think you’d have managed.’ She flashed him a half-smile and turned away again, heading towards the still-whirring tumble drier. As she crouched down to check the time dial he was treated to another flash of that intriguing body art and he was left wondering how far it carried on up her body.

  ‘Does it have any significance?’ The bold pink flowers entwined in the cascading vine were dedicated to so much of her body they obviously held some special meaning. Mollie didn’t seem the type to undertake such a commitment on a whim. A lot of time and thought, not to mention pain, had obviously gone into the design.

  It took a few seconds for her to register what he was talking about, then she brushed the cotton cover aside to reveal a little more of the blossoms. ‘It’s supposed to represent the fragility of life.’

  Ben hunched down beside her and gently traced the delicate petals with his fingertip. ‘And beauty.’

  Her muscles tightened beneath his exploration as his fingertips brushed over the uneven area of skin disguised by the colourful ink. The scars were deep and long enough for him to recognise the serious nature of their origin. She’d obviously gone through a lot of trauma and her body told the tale even if she’d done her best to hide it.

  ‘I can’t say I’ve felt very beautiful in a long time.’ She rose to her feet and the curtain of his white cotton shirt fell once more to cover her thigh. Without her usual facade of make-up and bravado, standing here in all her natural beauty, she shouldn’t have felt anything less than a goddess.

  ‘You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Scars are the marks of a survivor, you know that.’ They both dealt on a daily basis with patients left marked for ever by their battle back from illness and injury and he was only ever humbled by their strength. Mollie was no exception.

  ‘It doesn’t make them any easier to look at in the mirror. I’m not one of your patients, Ben. I haven’t been courageous or brave in the face of adversity. This is the result of a stupid decision I made when I was a kid.’ Her voice tailed off into a hiccup and revealed her pain as raw as if the wounds were still open.

  ‘Don’t ever say that. You’re an amazing nurse and the most compassionate person I know.’ Ben stood up and forced her to look at him. He couldn’t let her go on thinking she was anything other than amazing. He thought back to that morning she’d lectured Carole about looking in the mirror and learning to accept herself and it made her all the more remarkable when she was still suffering herself.

  ‘You wouldn’t say that if you knew the whole truth.’ Mollie walked away and left the drier still rumbling but Ben wasn’t content to let her wallow when she’d done so much for him tonight. Given what she’d already confided in him about her personal circumstances, he was only too willing to return the favour if there was anything he could do. He followed her back into the living room, unwilling to continue to let her think so badly of herself whatever had happened.

  ‘Try me.’ He doubted there was anything she could tell him now that would change his mind about the type of person she was when he’d seen it for himself these past evenings together.

  ‘The accident cost my parents their marriage, Talia her childhood, not to mention screwed up every relationship any of us have had ever since.’

  ‘What on earth would make you think that?’

  ‘Dad’s temper was volatile at the best of times. We spent most of our childhood getting yelled at, watching plates hit the wall if dinner hadn’t been cooked and presented to his satisfaction and listening to him insult Mum about her appearance. Even though he was the one who wouldn’t let her wear anything he deemed “inappropriate,” including make-up. The accident stretched my parents to breaking point, splitting their time between home and the hospital with every skin graft I went through. It was my fault he couldn’t handle it and walked out. Mum and Talia never got over it.’

  Ben’s heart broke to think of her as
that traumatised child carrying all that unnecessary guilt. All he wanted to do was wrap her up and keep her safe from anyone who would ever cause her that much pain again.

  ‘That’s an awful lot of responsibility to accept for a lapse in judgement you made as a kid. We’ve all made mistakes in our past. That doesn’t mean we should spend the rest of our lives under a cloud of guilt.’ It had taken him some time to work that one out, along with the patience and understanding of his grandparents, who’d insisted he should never feel bad about imposing upon them. Eventually he’d figured out for himself he shouldn’t care any more about the past than his parents did. It had been little more than an excuse for them to relinquish any parental responsibility to someone else. If it hadn’t been his grandparents they would have transferred his care to foster services or a juvenile detention centre.

  ‘My dad didn’t think so. He did, however, constantly remind me of how I’d ruined my looks through sheer stupidity and was now as “hideously ugly” as my mother. He blamed me for everything and he was right when he said no one will ever want me.’ Her voice was so fragile it almost shattered with the words and Ben’s heart right along with it because he knew it wasn’t true. He’d wanted Mollie from the first night she’d turned up at The Shed. She’d simply been conditioned to think she wasn’t beautiful because her father had been on some sort of twisted power trip and now it was time for her to change the way she viewed herself.

  ‘Because of these?’ He slid his hand gently along her outer thigh, feeling every indentation of the wound that obviously still brought her so much pain. Those muscles tensed beneath him again; her shoulders shook as he dared touch her again but she didn’t slap him away. It was clear then how much trust it had taken for her to let him see and feel the marks of her past. That meant more to him than any confident display of sexy flesh. He didn’t care about scars or family or responsibilities when he was with Mollie because that was the only time he ever felt truly alive and free to be himself. She made the day worth getting up for and that counted for more than perceived physical perfection. In his eyes and heart she was perfect and that made her someone special, someone worth letting into his life.

  * * *

  ‘They’re not the only scars I have.’ Mollie swallowed hard, fighting the urge to cover up and run as she normally did when it came to this stage of a relationship. Not that she’d had many opportunities to get naked with anyone but that was her own doing, just as tonight was with Ben.

  He’d seen the scars on her leg, heard the tale of how her past actions had impacted on everyone around her and he hadn’t once flinched. Perhaps she wanted to test exactly how stoic he could be in the face of her ugly injuries, or for once she wanted to believe they actually didn’t matter to anyone but her, but she found herself unbuttoning the shirt to show off the ugly truth.

  She loosened the shirt and shrugged it down so it exposed her back but kept it clutched at the front to preserve what was left of her modesty and dignity. Her eyes closed, her lip caught between her teeth, she braced herself for the gasp or, worse, that unbearable silence while he searched for a diplomatic way to hide his revulsion. Tears brimmed on her eyelashes, waiting for the go-ahead to inevitably fall down her cheeks.

  Instead, the soft pressure of Ben’s lips moved slowly up her back, following the knotted trail of patched-together skin she’d decorated with colourful tattooed butterflies. She held her breath waiting to see what would happen when he reached the top of her spine, expecting at some point he’d open his eyes and see her for what she was and back away. When he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him her knees began to tremble. This was new to her and though she didn’t know how to respond to the positive attention, neither did she want it to end.

  His hot mouth moved ever upwards to her neck, making her shiver as he whispered, ‘You’re beautiful,’ into her ear. She wanted to believe him. The way he held her against him, his breath ragged against her skin, made it seem possible. Even the rush of her own desire for this man was drowning out the voice in her head reeling off all the reasons she’d sworn she wouldn’t do this. She slowly let go of her hold on the front of the shirt, no longer wrapped up in what would happen once he saw beyond the disguise. He already had and he was still here, still kissing her as though she were the most beautiful woman in the world.

  It was easy to let herself get carried away in the fantasy where nothing else mattered except the touch of him against her skin. The buzz was so great she finally understood why her mother had such difficulty staying away from trouble.

  Instead of flinching every time Ben skimmed her body with his hand, waiting for that rejection she’d become accustomed to, she savoured every brush against her sensitive flesh. The shirt bunched up by her waist as his hand rode ever higher along with her temperature, her every nerve ending on high alert as he exposed her body inch by inch to his inspection.

  Her nipples tightened long before his fingers found his way there, teasing and squeezing her breast until she almost cried out with want for him.

  He darted his tongue out to tease along her neck while his fingers plucked her sensitive nub. By now it was only his sheer strength of will that was keeping her upright at all.

  ‘I want you, Mollie.’ His ragged plea was her final undoing, arousal rippling through her very core and turning her apprehension to liquid. Pressed against his hard body, she didn’t doubt him for a second, nor the way her body was craving him in return.

  ‘Not here.’ Regardless of the strength of her arousal, it was never going to completely obliterate the self-doubt and paranoia. She’d never purposely held on to her virginity in some sacred vow to keep herself pure for all eternity; sex had simply never worked out for her. Until now she’d never been comfortable enough with a man to even contemplate sharing that most intimate act with him, or comfortable enough in her own skin to allow it to happen. Now at the age of thirty-one she finally felt ready, that Ben was someone she wanted to be with and for whom her body image apparently wasn’t an issue. That didn’t mean she was willing to let her first time happen in a frenzy on the living-room floor. It needed to be special even if she wasn’t ready to admit it to Ben. In this day and age her virginity really would make her out to be some sort of freak.

  ‘We can go to my room. Don’t worry, it’s at the opposite end of the apartment away from my grandfather’s and there’s an alarm on his door in case he gets up in the middle of the night.’ He did know sufficient about her to understand her need for some privacy over whatever primal urges had already driven them to put on such a public display out here.

  Ben adjusted the shirt to cover her modesty again and planted a tender kiss on her neck before he took her hand and led her down the hall. The protective way he looked after her regardless of his own substantial needs in the moment suggested to her that, whatever happened next, she was in very loving and capable hands.

  Once he closed the bedroom door behind them it all became so very real. Her eyes lit on the bed dominating the room, and her mind and her pulse raced ahead to where they were going next. Perhaps she should have told him she was a virgin. He was going to find out soon anyway. It wasn’t as if she could bluff her way through this any more than she could the dancing. At least then he’d known what he was getting into when he’d taken on an inexperienced, nervous partner.

  For now, at least, he appeared oblivious to her lack of sophistication in the art of making love as he cupped her face in his hand and sealed her intention to see this through in one sensual, breath-stealing kiss. If he was as good a teacher in bed as he was in the dance hall it probably wouldn’t be long before she was up to speed, and as he teased her lips gently apart with his tongue she stopped thinking altogether.

  She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt in her desire to see the body he’d been teasing her with for so long. Just because she was a virgin it didn’t mean she was averse to the temptation of a muscular m
asculine torso when it had been in close contact with hers on numerous occasions. Ben made quicker work of disposing of her clothing than she did with his, and she tried not to think it was because he’d had more experience in disrobing other women and rather that he couldn’t wait to get her into bed.

  He stilled her trembling fingers with his and gave a slow smile as he helped her undo the last fastenings of his shirt. That simple assurance they didn’t have to rush this helped her breathe a little easier, despite that self-awareness she was standing there naked and fully open to his gaze. Another soft kiss on the lips helped settle the last of her remaining nerves.

  She pressed herself tightly to his body, unflinching this time as he let his hands confidently explore the gentle curve of her spine. His attraction to her wasn’t in doubt as she felt the hard evidence for herself. They backed up against the edge of the bed and he eased her back onto the mattress with him. The heat consuming her body soon raged into an uncontrollable inferno, flames flaring to life so brightly with lust for this man it was possible they might just burn the house down around them.

  He soon found the source of her heat, exploring her with the languid strokes of his fingertips until she was moving her body in sync with his quickening rhythm, pushing towards that final climax. She could hear herself groaning somewhere in the distance as she floated away on that wave of ecstasy as her inner muscles clenched and released with her orgasm.

  Only that brief sharp pain as Ben joined her body with his brought her back down to earth. She tensed for a moment, trying to control her breathing as her body adjusted to the initial shock of having him inside her.