From Fling to Wedding Ring

by Karin Baine

  ‘Just because we had sex doesn’t mean I’m expecting a marriage proposal.’ She pushed the chair away, wheeling across the floor so she had some space from him and letting that mask slip. No matter how hard she protested otherwise, she had been hurt or else she wouldn’t have been so defensive now.

  ‘That’s exactly why I’m asking you if you want to back out now. I love being with you, Mollie, but not if it comes at the expense of your happiness.’ He got up from his begging position but he didn’t follow her across the room, not wanting to crowd her, so she could decide what it was she wanted, holding his breath because he desperately wanted it to be him.

  ‘Perhaps we should cool things down. We have rushed into this—’

  Ben’s lungs deflated along with that last hope. ‘That’s what I thought.’

  ‘I signed the rental agreement for my own flat today. I’ve finally got the freedom I wanted. There’s a lot going on in both of our lives at the minute. Why don’t we just concentrate on the dancing for now?’

  ‘We can do that.’ The words stuck in his throat as he took a direct blow where it hurt the most—his heart.

  He’d never tried to fool himself into thinking one night with him could have turned her from virgin ice queen into a vixen with an insatiable sexual appetite, who would welcome him into her bed at any personal cost, but he was more crushed by her rejection than he had ever been by Penny’s. Probably because Mollie had seemed much more accepting of his set-up at home. And because he loved her. He guessed everyone had their limits and she’d reached hers in the kitchen this morning.

  Given the choice of still spending time with her at rehearsals or not at all was a no-brainer even if it meant the agony of having her in his arms without actually being with her any more.

  From that first impulsive kiss he’d known there’d be heartbreak somewhere along the way. He just hadn’t realised it would be his.

  * * *

  ‘Shouldn’t lover boy be helping you with the heavy lifting?’ Talia had been relegated to a supervisory role since Mollie refused to let her carry any of the removal crates. She’d only let her pregnant sister help with the move at all because she was the one with the driving licence and the friend willing to lend her his van to move Mollie’s few possessions across the city into her new flat.

  It wouldn’t have been fair to ask Ben for assistance when she’d insisted she needed some space. Hugh’s actions that morning had shaken her to her core and made her question what it was she was getting herself into, and when Ben had pushed her to make a decision her instinct had been to protect herself and take a step back. She couldn’t afford to invite him back in her life when it had devastated her to let him go in the first place.

  It wasn’t going to be easy to simply turn her back on Ben and forget what they’d shared together. Not least because she was determined to see this dance competition through to the end, because when all of this was over she was still going to have to work with him. Perhaps it only hurt so much because he had been her first, but for once she was going to follow the example set by the womenfolk in her family in regards to what not to do in relationships and make sure she was the one setting the rules.

  ‘I told you, we’re not together together.’ Her absence the other night hadn’t gone unnoticed and, though she’d had to confess something had gone on with Ben, she’d tried to downplay what had happened. There was no point in pretending it could be anything more than a one-off when the circumstances wouldn’t allow it to take root and blossom into anything more significant.

  Ironically, spending the night in Ben’s apartment, as life-changing for her as it had been, had also given her the impetus to take her future into her own hands and make that final decision on moving out.

  There’d been a mixed reaction to her bid for independence from home. It had taken Talia’s baby news to soften the blow for her mother. Once she’d realised there wasn’t going to be an empty space in her life, it had seemed to galvanise her into action for the first time in ages. She even seemed keen to help Mollie pack as she made plans for redecorating her bedroom and transforming it into a nursery. Perhaps she’d make a better grandmother than she’d ever been as a mother with that chance to start the family over again with a clean slate. Mollie couldn’t help but wonder as they accepted their separation from each other so readily if they hadn’t been enabling each other into this rut over these past years. This could be the new start they all needed.

  The flat wasn’t spacious or particularly glamorous but it was close to her work, distant enough from her family to give her that sense of freedom without being too far to check in every now and then, and had everything she needed to be comfortable. It was hers.

  ‘I know you, Mollie, and, mark my words, this will end in tears.’ Despite being told specifically not to open any boxes, Talia was already ripping open those marked for the kitchen and unpacking the dishes.

  ‘You’re managing to cope without a significant other permanently in your life so I don’t see why it should be any different for me.’ Mollie wasn’t about to take advice from her pregnant single sister, who was determined to do it all alone. At least they had their stubborn streak in common, if not much else.

  ‘Don’t you think if I could go back and change things I would? This is exactly why I’m trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes I did.’ There was such a profound sadness in the way Talia stroked her hand over her budding baby belly, it suggested she’d had a closer bond with the father than she’d ever been prepared to admit to. So far the only information she’d given on his identity was that she’d met him abroad and it had been a hot and heavy affair with no chance of surviving beyond a holiday romance. She wouldn’t even be drawn as far as to name the man responsible for getting her pregnant, and, Mollie suspected, breaking her heart.

  ‘I appreciate that, I really do, but I have no intention of getting into something I can’t handle. I’m the sensible one, remember?’ It was nice to have that level of concern from a loved one about her well-being, but she’d already found enough inner strength to take a step back from everybody’s personal lives to focus on her own. That included Ben’s and Hugh’s.

  She was forced to dodge the balled-up newspaper Talia threw at her head at the suggestion she was the nonsensible one of the pair, even though they both knew it to be true. Mollie hoped that since she’d opened up her heart and let Ben in, for however short a time, it wouldn’t change that dynamic.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘I KNOW YOU’RE bound to be nervous, Shirley, but you’ve already come through so much and you know you’re in the best hands with Mr Sheridan.’ Mollie liked to check in with her patients before and after surgery to put them at ease. They saw so many different doctors and consultants from the point of diagnosis it was important that some continuity of care was in place. Having a familiar face at all stages of treatment provided some sense of security in such a time of upheaval.

  ‘Oh, yes. He’s such a nice man and he did such a good job on my breast reconstruction I have every faith he can make me a nipple that looks as good as the real thing. I’ll just be glad when it’s all over.’

  ‘It won’t be long. Then you can treat yourself to a whole new wardrobe for your cruise.’ Mollie reminded her of the trip she’d been planning for weeks so she had something positive to focus on before she was wheeled into Theatre.

  ‘My youngest daughter’s taking me shopping so you can bet your life I’ll be taking a suitcase full of summer dresses and swimsuits on board that ship.’

  ‘Good. You deserve it.’ It always aided a faster recovery when patients had something to look forward to at the end of their gruelling journey. Even better when they had enough confidence in their body to show it off again.

  ‘I hope you’re saving me that sun lounger by the pool you promised.’ Ben approached Shirley’s bedside dressed in his scrubs and a smile that had surely
melted the heart of every woman he’d walked past. Mollie included.

  ‘Right beside mine. I’ll be sure to pick you up a pair of swim shorts when I’m out shopping, too.’ Shirley’s jovial banter with Ben made it obvious they’d got to know each other pretty well since she’d been transferred into his care. It wasn’t often busy surgeons had the time to spend with patients outside sharing information about the procedures they were performing. This little insight into the extra mile he went to in getting to know the people he was operating on and earning their trust wasn’t helping Mollie to get her feelings for him back on a neutral level.

  ‘Well, we’ll get you through this surgery first, then we’re all set. I just wanted to check that you’re clear on what’s going to happen in Theatre today.’ Ben seamlessly slipped back into his surgeon persona, but coming here to chat pre-op would undoubtedly make his patient more relaxed than she would’ve been handing over control of her body to a complete stranger.

  With that level of empathy it was no wonder he found it so difficult to prioritise his own wants and needs above his grandfather’s. It also made Mollie hang her head in shame that she hadn’t been able to do the same for Hugh.

  Shirley nodded and turned to Mollie. ‘Will you be in there with me?’

  ‘No, I don’t—’

  ‘You’re welcome to assist, if you’d like.’ Ben shrugged, showing no sign of the same turmoil that was raging inside her simply from being in close proximity to him. She might have called time on their relationship before it had fully formed, but it didn’t mean her attraction to him or her feelings for him had diminished in the interim.

  There were a lot of personal reasons why she should decline and duck out of the offer to spend more time with him, but on a professional level she knew it would benefit her patient and provide her with a unique learning experience. This kind of opportunity would give her more insight into what these women went through and what the procedures involved. Ultimately it would help her relate to her patients and that had to come before her own discomfort.

  ‘Sure,’ she said as brightly as she could muster, ignoring the slight smirk she was sure she saw tugging at Ben’s mouth.

  * * *

  Nipple reconstruction was a procedure Ben frequently carried out but there seemed to be so much more on the line with Mollie in the theatre with him. Not only was she seeing him at work, but Shirley’s request for her to be there was forcing them to spend time together when he knew she would probably have tried to avoid him for as long as possible.

  He understood why Mollie had backed away, that was why he’d given her an out, but he had been hoping she saw something in him that Penny hadn’t. That she’d thought him worth taking a chance on. Deep down he was still hoping she was different and he could convince her they could be good for one another. Mollie had certainly made him re-evaluate his situation and see that there was still a place in it for him to have a life of his own. Preferably with her in it. He’d believed he was doing the same for her but that one setback with his grandfather had prompted her inner ice queen to freeze him out again. If he could simply find a way to reconnect with her he might be able to get them back on course again. Mollie had given him a glimpse of the future he could’ve had and without her he didn’t have anything to look forward to any more.

  For now he was concentrating on giving Shirley her life back and praying karma was keeping score.

  Once the area was marked and numb from the anaesthetic, Ben began to make his incision.

  ‘We make a bow-tie flap with the skin on the breast, making sure that’s symmetrical as possible with the opposite breast. Tuck the sides under, including a small amount of fat to bulk out the nipple, and attach the sides end to end.’ He talked Mollie through each stage and let her see everything he was doing before he moved on to the next step.

  She was watching him intently, taking everything in, and he knew this training would help her prepare her future patients as well as she could now she knew exactly what the reconstruction entailed.

  ‘Sometimes it’s possible to take part of the nipple from the remaining breast and attach it to the new breast in a nipple-sharing graft. As I’ve discussed with Shirley, it wasn’t possible in this case.’ He pulled the flaps of skin together to form the little nub that was more for aesthetic and psychological purposes than function, and Mollie dabbed around the area with cotton to keep it clean.

  ‘Then we close the raw area where we’ve borrowed the skin.’ He let silence dominate the operating room while he made sure all incisions were closed with sutures, and left the final step of dressing the wound to Mollie.

  It was her job for the first few weeks to monitor and change these dressings in the outpatient clinic to make sure they remained dry and in place to maximise the chances of success. As with any surgery there were always risks but bruising, swelling and infection were thankfully infrequent complications.

  ‘And then, when the wound is healed, it’s over to you to add the finishing touches with your tattooing skills.’ He would never underestimate the part she played in the process. Not only did she add that final touch of realism, which counted for so much towards helping their patients feel normal again, but she was also the point of contact for any problems or concerns post-care. Although she mightn’t realise it, she shouldered a lot of responsibility for each person who came through the clinic doors.

  ‘We make quite the team,’ she conceded as they prepped Shirley for her return to the ward so she could recover.

  ‘Yes. Yes, we do.’ Ben held eye contact with her, trying to make her see that was exactly why she should believe they could make it as a couple in their own right, supporting each other and working together to achieve their mutual goals.

  He saw her throat bob as she swallowed and looked away, making it obvious there were still feelings there for him whether or not she wanted to admit it.

  ‘I need to go and scrub out.’ She practically ran out, stripping off her protective clothing as she went, but Ben wouldn’t be put off so easily and waited for her back on the ward.

  ‘What are we going to do about dance rehearsals? We might be a team but that doesn’t mean we don’t have to work at it.’

  ‘I won’t be finished until late, I’m afraid. I’ve a lot of paperwork to catch up on now.’ She didn’t even attempt to slow down to speak to him and Ben ended up trailing her back to her office. The empty waiting room and absence of staff made it clear the clinic had ended for the day even if Mollie hadn’t.

  ‘We could do it here.’ He barged on into her office, regardless of her attempt to close the door in his face.

  ‘Pardon?’ Her cheeks were flushed as she turned to face him and gave away what direction her wayward thoughts had just taken.

  Ben couldn’t help but laugh. She would never be so flustered if he wasn’t still having some effect on her. ‘Dance rehearsal? There’s plenty of room in here if we move a few things around.’

  ‘Oh. Right. Yeah. I knew that. I’m not sure it’s really appropriate, though...’

  ‘Why not? Everyone knows we’re taking part and we have the hospital’s backing, after all.’ He began rearranging the furniture, pushing chairs and trolleys to one side so they had a wide enough space to make their turns without banging into anything.

  ‘I suppose I do need the practice, but what about our music?’

  Ben pulled his phone from his pocket. ‘Ta-da! Thanks to the wonders of technology I already have it downloaded. Any more excuses or can we get started?’

  ‘I guess.’ She rolled her eyes and stepped towards him with all the anxiety and nervousness she’d displayed on that first night. They’d come a long way since then and he wanted to remind her of that.

  He took her in hold but she seemed determined to keep an invisible wall between them, standing as far back from him as she could. The music started and Ben pulled her to him so they actually
looked and felt like a couple rather than two strangers forced into an awkward dance at a wedding.

  They started off with the steps he’d already showed her, but they had the small matter of a dance contest to contend with so he talked her through the foot position required for a smooth promenade. Mollie was quick to pick up the steps and it wasn’t long before they fell back into that easy rhythm, moving together as one. The rise and fall of their bodies in perfect harmony and her soft breath on his face couldn’t fail to remind him of the night they’d spent together. As he looked into Mollie’s desire-darkened eyes he knew she felt it, too.

  * * *

  It was impossible to watch Ben work and not be impressed by his level of skill and compassion. She was trying not to let it cloud her judgement or the decisions she’d made to try and protect her from making the same mistakes her mother had made over again. Impossible now that she was flush against his chest, their layers of clothes the only difference from the last time they’d had physical contact.

  His heart was beating the same rapid tempo as hers, so out of time even with the moderately quick pace of the dance. She was lost in his eyes, her feet moving independently of the rest of her body and carrying her wherever he needed her to be. When they were dancing it was easy to believe there was nothing on this earth that could stop them from being together.

  The music stopped but they didn’t break apart, neither apparently willing for the spell to be broken or to let reality creep back in between them. That magnetic pull was drawing her back to him, close enough that she could feel his breath on her lips. She closed her eyes, wanting to give herself over to that sensual bliss of a tender kiss, but that sensible Mollie wasn’t going to be so easily subdued and projected images into her mind of Hugh’s fingers digging into her wrist, the flash of temper she’d seen once in Ben. That was all it took to save her from repeating her mistake.