Zombie Theorem: The End Game

by James Wallace

  I opened my door, adjusted my MP5, and pulled myself out. I met them at the hood and Kuppers nodded to me.

  “You look like you feel better, Dan.” Vic offered.

  “I feel a bunch better now.”

  Kuppers patted my back and then spread out a map on the hood turning his back to me. I had to go on my tippy toes to look over his shoulder at the map. I tried working out where we were by looking over our improvised rest area and back at the map. Even I amazed myself with analytical ability. I stuck my finger out and onto the map. “We should be right there, am I right?”

  Kuppers turned his head and looked over at me. “How the fuck would you know? You’ve been asleep since we left the base like six hours ago.”

  “Because I have two eyes and innate ability to figure shit out. So, what is the plan? Do we still have air cover?” I studied the map as I asked my questions.

  He gave me a wry smile and shook his head. “I should wrap you in a blanket and beat the crap out of you, then see how well you can figure shit out.” He took his canteen out slowly and deliberately, screwed off the lid and took a swig. Once done, he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and put the canteen back in its place on his tactical vest. “We stopped to figure that exact thing out Dan.”

  I shook my head over his childish act. “You know, for being a bad ass take no names big hairy ball commander, you can be incredibly childlike. Now, where is our ultimate destination? And what about that air cover?”

  He called me an asshole under his breath and then laughed at me. “Alright, Dan. We have no air cover, everything that has tried to come out here is being forced back out by the Ridder guys. Plus, we are trying to stay hidden and not give away our position. For the big question, I have no idea where we should go right now. I am happy to let you do your thing, for some reason you are good at figuring this shit out. We are protected here for the night. We will break out food and do some quick maintenance on the vehicles in the convoy.” He turned to Vic and started rattling off orders, his main one was no fire, and tactical red lights only.

  I felt the presence of my Sasquatch appear by my side. “Took you long enough. We need to figure this shit out on where to go and how to get there. Can you figure out our supply situation? I’ll stare at the map for a bit and work this stuff out.”

  He chuckled. “Got you sir. Beans, bullets, and blankets. Probably fuel and who and what specialties we have in the troops. Be right back, Boss.” He handed me a red-lensed flashlight, a pen, and a new notebook. I hadn’t noticed that I’d lost mine.

  I thanked him and pointed away. I stared at the map for a while and started working out distances and directions. Also, I tried to remember the data on troop movements of Ridder and the large zombie hordes that Amanda had briefed me on earlier. Had that been a day or two days ago? I shook the thought away. I then noticed a symbol on the map that I was not familiar with, and looked around for a key. Not finding one, I wrote down some questions on my notebook and circled the symbol on the map. I reached up to click open my radio, only to find it missing. Sometimes, I can be so absentminded. I looked around and saw a trio of soldiers working on the engine of their Humvee.

  I waved for one of them to come over and when he recognized my rank he hurriedly ran over and snapped to attention, getting ready to salute when I stopped him. “No need to salute me, I need you to find Kuppers or Vic and bring them back here please. Tell them, Dan has questions.”

  He looked bewildered at the lack of military decorum. “Yes, Major. Right away sir.” He went to snap off a salute, thought for a second, and just ran off to complete his task.

  I went back to the map and measured off the routes and distances. I had no tactical data to base my decisions on, but for some reason, I felt a presence pushing me to follow this idea. Kuppers and Vic both appeared next to me, looking at the map. I didn’t notice them till Vic coughed. “Oh hey guys, thanks for coming. I have some quick questions and some ideas I need to bounce off of you. First, what does this symbol mean?” I stabbed my finger at my pen-circled area on the map.

  Vic answered first, “I have no idea, it’s not my specialty.”

  Kuppers sniffed back a retort, but stopped as something came to him. He wiped his forehead with his sleeve and then closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know what that means. That right there is a military installation which holds chemicals, and means we shouldn’t go near it. Unless we want to grow a third and maybe fourth ball.”

  “Perfect place to hide, if you ask me then. We have a couple of small passes we need to go through, but if we drive smartly and have the supplies, we should be able to make it in fourteen hours, if we don’t run into too many roadblocks; literally and figuratively.”

  Kuppers’ shoulders dropped and he became quiet as he stared at the map. Vic spoke up after a quiet moment, “I agree with Dan. The area around it is open ground and should not have a big enough population to worry about. The beauty part is no one would think we would be stupid enough to go there.” Vic poked Kuppers in the shoulder and bobbed his head.

  Kuppers scratched his chin, but then nodded ok. “Alright, first thing we do is check all vehicles, rest up, and then head on out of here, right before the sun comes up. And we keep going till we get there.” He looked over at Vic, “Did you set a guard?”

  “Guard rotation has been set and everybody knows their jobs,” Vic answered.

  Brian came up then with Cupcake, Doc, Apache and Delta in tow. “Hey, Boss. Got your supply list right here.” He handed over a hand-written list on a sheet of lined paper. “Good work, Brian.” I studied the list for a second and turned to see the rest of the team standing there. “Hey guys!” Then I turned to Apache, “and gal?” I smirked and she shook her head back and forth causing her ponytail to sway. “Good to see you all in one piece. Our new objective is to move the convoy to a very desolate area, and it happens to be a military chemical storage facility. So no one fire on it when we get there. I would like to stay in one piece and not grow a third testicle. Although for Cupcake, that would be an improvement.” Everybody laughed and Cupcake showed me his middle finger. “Ok, with all seriousness Vic has the guard duty and a list of jobs yet to be done. With your permission, Kuppers, I would like to ask Delta to scout ahead of the convoy and make sure the chokepoints I identified are clear.”

  Kuppers lifted an eye brow and looked around him. “I don’t think I am in charge anymore. If you noticed, everybody is looking to you for their orders. So, carry on, Major.”

  “I guess they are. Sorry for stepping out of line sir.”

  “No, no, no, take charge. That way, I can blame you if this whole thing goes tits up.” Kuppers signaled for me to continue.

  “You heard him. Delta I want you out of here as soon as you can, find us a clear route. The rest of you, I want for you to take control of the convoy vehicles. One of you will be in charge of each squad or whatever you call them. I trust you guys and gal. Vic, that includes you, no more hiding out by Kuppers side. I’m sure he will be fine without you holding his hand.” Vic punched me in the shoulder and everybody roared with laughter.

  “Hey, I was just keeping him from exploding, and beating everyone into a pulp,” Vic grinned.

  I looked over my list again, given to me by Brian and did some quick figuring. “Looks like we have an abundance of vehicles and not a ton of equipment. Kuppers do you agree we should scavenge some of the useless ones and consolidate to a smaller convoy? I want to give the enemy less of a target.”

  Kuppers took my list and looked it over. “I agree, let’s leave behind some of the Humvees, but drain their fuel and make sure we get every bullet and weapon. I have a feeling we are going to need them. Also, if we have any heavy weapons, let’s get them bolted on and prepared for action. Doc, you and Cupcake take those duties as you see fit.”

  “Apache, I want you and Brian to double-check the watch and make sure we don’t get our asses handed to us. Any non-essential personnel need to get to sleep
asap. Is there anything I am missing, team?”

  Everybody got quiet and looked around. When no one spoke up I told them to get lost and out of my sight. Most of them laughed and muttered something under their breath. The pain had started to creep in again, but it was manageable, I would gut it out. My stomach then took that time to argue loudly that it hadn’t had anything put in it in a very long time. I turned to head over and grab something to eat when Heaven appeared, holding two MREs.

  “I thought we could break bread together my friend, and talk.” He smiled and directed me to follow him.

  He had set up two small camp chairs and offered me one. I sat and he handed me a warmed MRE. You’ve got to like a person who hands you a warm meal and a comfortable place to enjoy it. Heaven bowed his head to pray. As he spoke, I dropped my head to my chest and said a small prayer myself. To who? I have no idea, I know God exists, how could he not? I have seen the shores of paradise, and I’ve met my own personal Angel. When he’d finished he became quiet, and watched me as I said my words. I raised my head and he gave me a nod. We ate for a little while, enjoying each other’s company.

  He finally put his food down and looked at me, sizing me up. “What’s on your mind, Heaven?”

  “You, Dan. You are on my mind. I am waiting for you to tell me when you became a believer,” he said quietly in his strong voice.

  I sighed and put my chili beans down. I took a sip from my canteen and looked over to him, meeting his pale blue eyes. “If I told you, I don’t know if you would believe me.”

  “Dan, God works in His own way. Sometimes, it is mysterious and slow and other times, it is like a slap to the head. I have a feeling that you have a story that if most heard, would sound fantastic. But I would be happy to be your witness and listen. I will not judge or ridicule. I find you to be an honest man, who is a natural born leader. I am your friend I am your brother.” He gave me his little smile, which I knew was his way of telling me he was being honest.

  I took in a deep breath and released it through my nose, releasing the tension building up in my shoulders. “I have seen Angel.”

  He tilted his head and gave me a look as if to say, ‘go on’.

  “During all that business in Spokane, when I was injured and Angel was killed. Well, while I was dead those times, I awoke in a boat in a beautiful island bay. It was a warm sunny day, the beaches looked so white and clean that I knew I was witnessing paradise. Then a voice spoke to me, she was a twenty-something beauty with stars and galaxies in her hair. She said I was to fight the scourge off this plane, and pretty much to fight evil. Then again when I was in Las Vegas being tortured, she came back and took me away but she was the young Angel. She took me away from the pain and protected me. She spoke about how we were destined to have a hard time, and would lose others. I have been given a mission, but not given the tools. I feel lost and a little unsure of what to do, Heaven.” I rubbed my face with my hands and let a sigh release.

  “Dan, you have all the tools you need. All these men and women including myself are your tools. We will help you with your fight in your mission. I believe your story, every word. Even God needs help every now and then, and if he has chosen you, then I have faith in in his choice.” He looked up at the stars and smiled, and said something too quiet for me to hear. “Dan this will not be an easy mission. People will die, as in every battle. But that is our destiny. I know I will give you all that I have to help you, and my brothers in Delta have already discussed and sworn to follow you. We know that you will lead us to the end.” He rose from his chair and kneeled in front of me. “My son, may God and all His graces fall down around you, and guide your hand, whether in battle or in leading us. Amen.” Then, he did something I did not expect. He took my head in his hands, gently bent it downward, and kissed my forehead. He took a necklace from around his neck and out of his collar and slid it over my head. “Delta and I are leaving in a couple of minutes. I will be in contact again, Dan. Be confident and be assured that this is God’s plan.”

  Without another word, he stood and walked away, whistling a quiet song that I could not identify. I watched him till he disappeared into the dark. “What a great man,” I whispered, rose to my feet and cleaned our garbage, before heading out to have a chat with our prisoner.

  I found him on the ground, being guarded by a young soldier. I waved at the guard. “Why don’t you go get the prisoner something to eat and some water. We are going to have a nice chat.” The soldier saluted and ran off.

  I didn’t want to deal with the pain, so I decided to stand instead of easing to the ground. “Joey, looks like your friends decided to try and take you out.” I looked down at him.

  He frowned and looked down at the dirt he sat in. “Looks like that doesn’t it?” He drew the name ‘Lewis’ into the dirt and then obliterated it in anger. “I think I am out of a job. By now, the Initiative knows I have been captured and are trying to kill me.”

  “Sucks, doesn’t it, having someone trying to kill you? They have been doing that to this world and everyone in it. So you say there is no cure for the virus. If I got you a working lab, would you be able to design something?” I asked, while taking my new notebook and pen out of my pocket.

  “I doubt it. I don’t have my notes and I doubt the lab you can provide me will be technically advanced enough to do what needs to be done. Plus, I would need a lot of support and assistants.” He stared off into the distance for a moment. “We are all dead,” he said that last quieter and hung his head lower.

  “I refuse to accept that sentiment, Joey. Stop being such a big cry-baby and help save the world. I will start working on getting you a lab and some assistants. But you need to stand up and be a man. Cause if you can’t you are no use to me and I will leave you behind for the “infected”, as you call them. I’ll give you a couple of minutes to think about that.” I turned and slowly walked away.

  I stopped in mid-stride when Joey called after me. “Dan, stop. Come back.”

  I took a couple of more steps, then stopped and turned on my heels. I gave him an impatient look. “Did you decide to man up Joey?”

  He slowly got to his feet. “Yes, just don’t leave me behind. Promise protection, and I will do my best.”

  “I’ll do my best, Joey. Now, eat your food and get some sleep. Tomorrow, I will start working on getting you what you need.” I turned and a big smile broke out on my face. I knew I could get to him. I made my way back to my Humvee and found Brian waiting for me.

  He was sitting on the hood drinking a beer. “Where the hell did you get that, Sasquatch?”

  He ignored me while tilting his head back and taking a large gulp. He turned his head and held the can up. “What this? I don’t remember, but somehow, it has a friend.” He held the other out to me and I took it like a drowning man being offered a rope.

  I cracked it open and found the can cold. I sighed happily and took a sip. That one luxury threatened to take me over. I leaned against the Humvee and drank quietly, enjoying the cooling night. If only for one second, I felt like everything was fine and I was hanging out with Brian having a drink. When I finished I crushed the can and placed it on the hood of the Humvee and let go a loud burp. “Oh my God that was like drinking liquid hope. I’m not going to ask you again where you got it. But thank you, brother.”

  “You’re welcome, brother. Oh, and here I lied. It had two more friends.” He handed one over and opened his.

  I took it, opened it, and then crashed the can against his, “Cheers brother. May it not be our last, and if it is, then let our last moments on earth be magnificent!”

  “A-fucking-men to that, Boss!” He said aloud, then downed his beer in one long gulp.

  I tried to copy him, but some rolled down my goatee and the front of my blouse. I know, I ain’t that much of a man. But I am trying to live life fuller and faster. You never know when the next bullet or bite has your name on it. Brian climbed off the Humvee and picked me up in a tender bear hug, but still got my f
eet a good foot off the ground. I wrapped my arms around his massive head and hugged him back. “Now, put me on the ground, you fucking Sasquatch. You’re going to break my ribs!”

  He roared with laughter and put me down. “Alright, Boss, I suggest we get some rack time. But I don’t like the idea of sleeping outside like some of these youngsters. Let’s get in the Humvee and button it up.” I punched him in the forearm and he looked down at me.

  “I can’t reach your shoulder. But that was a ‘you got it’ kind of moment.” He looked at me awkwardly. then shook his head and walked around the Humvee to the driver’s side. “Hey, come on!” I opened up my side and climbed in. Doc and Cupcake were already asleep in the backseats.

  The seats were not comfortable but would do. I sat back and somehow got my feet onto the dash and passed out into a dreamless sleep. I don’t mind seeing Angel, but her dire messages were messing with my sleep. I woke up to thumping on my window and a scream from outside. My eyes shot open, and I turned quickly to see what the sounds were.

  I came face to face, well, to whatever it had left of its face. Mostly white, shiny bone and muscle looked back, but you get the picture. I reached back and hit Brian. He woke up quickly and had his .45 in his hands so fast that I never saw him move. “Holy fuck!” he roared.

  Doc and Cupcake came awake in an instant also pulling their sidearms and looking around. “Well damn, that ain’t something I ever want to wake up to again.” Doc said.

  Cupcake swore or said something in Polish. Heck I don’t speak Polish, but sounded something like. “pieprz mnie.” If I had Google translator, I would’ve been able to tell you what it meant. But I don’t, if you do please feel free to look it up.

  “I’ll handle this boys. Just back me up.” Doc reached up and opened the hatch to the cupola, pulled himself up gun first and fired a single shot. The thing at my window fell to the ground, sporting a new red third eye in its forehead. “Fellows, we got more problems than just that daisy. Get your long guns and smoke wagons ready, we got a horde of these things around us.”