by Tatum Throne
“I’ll call a cab.”
Parker got out of bed. “Why are you so afraid of me loving you?” TJ wasn’t expecting the sadness in Parker’s voice. It broke his
heart. “I just need some time to figure things out.” Parker slipped on a pair of black boxers and crossed the room. “Let me help you. Let me be here for you.”
“I’ll get through this on my own.”
“You’re shutting me out again,” Parker said.
“I’m not shutting you out.”
Parker shook his head. “Yes, you are.”
TJ cursed. He didn’t want to talk about this now. He didn’t want to ruin their time together by talking about everything going on with work. “It’s not worth talking about. I’m dealing with my mistakes.”
“Are you?”
TJ paced away. The scar was too fresh and the wound was too painful to clean up right now. “I’m solid. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Stay. I’ll drive you home in the morning.”
It wasn’t a good idea to stay. It would only make leaving that much harder. Why couldn’t Parker see that? How could he even begin to explain it to Parker? TJ was good at fucking things up. There wasn’t any way TJ could wipe that taint off his skin. TJ rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. Parker wasn’t about to let him go tonight. A few more hours together couldn’t hurt him, right?
Parker came in close, pulling him in hard for a kiss. Their tongues fought for dominance. TJ wanted to win this fight. He wanted to top Parker. Somehow he knew it wouldn’t be happening. No matter how hard he tried to top Parker, TJ would end up on the bottom again tonight. TJ reached around, grabbing Parker’s firm ass. He pulled Parker’s boxers off and Parker did the same to his. TJ squeezed, rubbing his hands around and pulling their hips tight. Their hard cocks bumped, grinding together.
TJ lost himself in Parker’s kiss. He loved the scent of Parker’s skin on his. He loved the way he tasted. He loved the way he dominated. He loved the way he knew how to kiss him so thoroughly. Parker edged him back against the bed, easing him back down to the rumpled sheets. TJ groaned as Parker’s long hair cascaded down around his face.
Parker sat up, bracing his legs on either side of TJ’s. TJ groaned as Parker grabbed both of their cocks together, gripping them tight as he pumped both of them up and down. TJ looked down at their joined cocks. His was ruddy and Parker’s was darkly smooth. They were matched in thickness, but Parker was an inch bigger.
TJ fisted his hands in the sheets as Parker worked his cock so good. TJ bit his lip. He loved being taken by Parker, but he wanted to be in control this time. TJ flipped Parker to his back, taking him by surprise as he pinned him to the bed. TJ rubbed his cock against Parker’s as their mouths connected. With Parker beneath him, TJ worked to pin his wrists up by his head. Parker went willingly but it was clear that he was giving this win to TJ.
TJ broke his lips away and kissed his lips down Parker’s chest. He rubbed his hands down Parker’s sides, positioning himself between Parker’s legs. TJ’s mouth got to his cock and he licked him, base to tip. He licked him again, swirling his tongue around the full, plump tip. TJ sucked Parker’s cockhead into his mouth, loving the sound of Parker’s growl of approval as he did. He sucked him hard, gripping his thick shaft in his hand.
The muscles in Parker’s abdomen bunched and flexed as Parker pumped his cock in and out of TJ’s mouth. Their eyes met as TJ licked his way off of Parker’s cock. He sucked him back in, working his way slowly down his shaft. Parker reached out, fisting his fingers into TJ’s hair, trying to slow the pace down. Parker’s cock throbbed hard. He was close to coming. TJ licked his way off of Parker’s cock and smiled up at his new lover.
Passion-filled eyes stared back at him. Parker flipped him to the bed, pinning him before TJ could even stop him from reversing their positions. Parker had weight and height on him. He could pin him all day long with ease. Both knew it.
Parker kissed him sweetly once before slowly pulling away. “Don’t. Move.”
Confusion swam through TJ’s body as he watched Parker pull away and walk around the bed to the nightstand. He took several silk scarves from the stand before turning back to the bed. He went to the headboard, working one of the scarves around the corner. Parker tied the end around TJ’s wrist. TJ gave the material a hard yank. There wasn’t any give. Parker walked around the bed, brushing the scarf over TJ’s throbbing cock as he moved. Again, he tied the scarf to the bed and then restrained TJ’s other wrist.
TJ’s heart hammered as he watched Parker go back to the stand. TJ licked his tongue out over his lips, wetting them. Parker came back to the bed, kneeling with the final scarf. Parker slipped the silk through his hands, running it up over the top of TJ’s legs. He sucked in a gasp of surprise as the scarf caught his balls. Parker crossed the ends and wrapped them around his shaft. TJ’s cock punched out hard against the binds as Parker pulled it tight.
“Oh, fuck,” TJ said.
“I thought you might like this.”
TJ was breathing hard as Parker worked each end one at a time around his legs. TJ lifted his head looking down at the cloth cock ring Parker made. Parker tied it up tight with a knot just above his anus and below his balls. Parker slipped the backs of his fingers beneath the silk on his thighs. He looped his fingers and pulled, tightening the ring at the base of his shaft and balls.
TJ cried out as pleasure shot through his cock. Pre-cum wept from his tip and slid down his shaft. Parker pulled away, rubbing lube on his big cock. He kneeled up, stroking his cock up and down with a slow, easy stroke.
“Do you want me?” Parker asked.
TJ spread his legs up wide. “Fuck yeah.”
TJ moaned as Parker rubbed his cockhead over his anus. He entered in one quick move, slipping another scarf under TJ’s back. Parker wrapped both hands around each end of the scarf as he thrust in short, quick moves. TJ cried out as he was taken fast and hard. He loved the way Parker took ownership of his body. He was a man that always had all the right moves.
Every muscle in Parker’s body was flexed hard. TJ hooked his legs over the back of Parker’s, taking Parker deeper. TJ’s cock punched out hard as a warm, wet hand gripped the shaft of his cock. Parker jerked his cock up and down in his fist. TJ turned his head into his arm as his orgasm built to a sharp pitch he couldn’t deny. He was so close. He could feel his orgasm starting at the base of his cock. TJ’s balls pulled in tight.
“Say my name as you come.”
“Fuck,” TJ growled.
Parker’s palm polished the top of TJ’s cockhead. “Say. My. Name.”
“Parker. Oh, God. Parker.”
Cum shot from TJ’s cockhead, shooting arrows over TJ’s abs and pecks. Parker hooked TJ’s legs up under his arms, thrusting deep. Parker’s hard cock pounded, taking TJ’s ass up off the bed with a slap, slap of their bodies. The headboard hit against the wall with a new bang, bang, bang rhythm. Sweat glistened on Parker’s skin. Their gazes locked as tension built within Parker’s body. “Come for me,” TJ whispered.
Parker threw back his head as he cried out. His long hair flew back in a cascade that landed on his shoulders. Parker’s cock flexed out and cum shot from his dick. Parker pulled out, shooting his cum over TJ’s chest. Parker rubbed his hard dick with TJ’s as cum shot in thick ropes from his cock. They were both spent as Parker collapsed onto the bed. They turned their heads together, kissing sweetly.
“You promise not to leave if I untie you?” Parker asked.
The corner of TJ’s mouth lifted. “You make it really difficult for me to leave. I think I’ll stay for a while.”
“Nice. I like it when you smile.”
One by one, Parker untied the scarves that held TJ captive. Parker brought a warm cloth from the bathroom and wiped off TJ’s chest. TJ’s heart pounded. No one ever had taken care of him after sex. No one. TJ grabbed Parker’s free hand and brought it to his lips. Their eyes held as TJ kissed the inside of his lover’
s palm. He wanted things to always be this way between them but TJ knew life would eventually draw them apart as quickly as it had brought them together.
“What?” Parker asked.
“Thanks for tonight.”
Parker grinned. “I should be the one thanking you.”
Parker eased into the bed, wrapping his arms around TJ. Happiness fluttered through TJ’s body as their skin connected. He always wanted to feel this way. He closed his eyes but sleep wouldn’t come. He heard the steady rhythmic breathing that came from Parker and knew he had fallen asleep.
Chapter Ten
He was gone. Morning sunlight slanted across Parker’s bedroom. The scarves he used on TJ still hung from the bed. Parker dressed quickly and jogged down the stairs. Parker wanted TJ to trust him. If it meant tracking him down, he would. Parker looked at the calendar on the wall by his kitchen phone. The date glared back like an obstinate teenager. Parker cursed and it echoed off the walls. One year ago, the SWAT team took Jason “The Ax” Chapmen into custody when they pulled him over for a traffic violation.
Parker strode into the living room and reached for the remote control on the television. The morning local news was finishing up with a recap of the top stories. Number one was the Chapmen arrest a year ago. Chapmen’s story was all over the place because he was on death row for the next ten years until his death sentence was carried out. They showed footage of the prison. Protesters and religious fanatics were outside the prison.
Where would he go? Parker grabbed his cell phone off the coffee table and dialed TJ’s cell. It went straight to voicemail. Parker ran a hand through his hair. He needed to get to work. He’d have to do the searching from the job today.
The scent of TJ’s body was heavy on Parker’s skin as he stepped into the shower. He reluctantly scrubbed the evening away. Parker pressed his hands against the tile. He looked down at his pounding cock. He reached down, stroking the long length of his cock. God, he couldn’t remember the last time he had to masturbate out of erotic frustration. Most of the time it was out of exercise.
Parker closed his eyes seeing TJ’s creamy skin, grinding beneath his hips. It was all the visual he needed. Parker gripped his shaft, stroking his cock hard. A second later, his spunk erupted from his cockhead and shot across the shower, hitting the black tile. Parker groaned as five white lines of cum hit the tile like hash marks. It wasn’t enough. He needed TJ. Parker rinsed under the shower with his dick still pounding hard. Masturbation was never enough. He needed full, erotic, hands-on completion to feel fulfilled.
“Fuck!” Parker shut off the water. He had to go before he was late for his twelve hour shift in the emergency room.
Between seeing patients, Parker tried calling him. TJ never once answered his cell phone. Most of Parker’s shift was spent dealing with car accident victims and a gunshot wound. TJ was never far from his mind as he worked. Twelve hours later, Parker slammed down the phone in the staff locker room. He was starting to feel like a stalker. Where would he have gone?
“Hey, Parker. How’s life as a SWAT doc?”
Parker glanced up as Dr. Ryan Barrow came into the locker room. “It’s great actually. They’re looking for more doctors to rotate in if you’re interested.”
“Really?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. I’ll send you some info if you want. They like to rotate doctors every four weeks.”
Ryan slammed his locker shut and slung his duffle over his shoulder. “Sounds good. You still doing the calendar shoot this year?”
Parker closed his eyes. He’d forgotten about the shoot. “I don’t know.”
“Come on. You can’t bail on us. It’s for charity.”
Parker headed for the door. “I’ll let you know.”
Working on a hunch, Parker grabbed his keys to his Jeep. He was going to the bar on his way home.
The hole-in-the-wall bar they went to in Newport was called Cody’s. The place was owned by a retired police officer and catered to law enforcement.
It was close to nine o’clock by the time Parker got there. Parker scanned the bar. He found TJ. Parker recognized some of the guys from district four, but they weren’t sitting with TJ.
TJ was slouched in a corner booth as though the weight of the universe rested on his shoulders. TJ looked absolutely broken. Parker sat down in the booth across from him. Glassy eyes stared back. He was buzzed or very close to drunk. A letter sat in front of him. The envelope was stamped with a seal from the state prison.
“How long have you been here?” Parker asked.
“A few hours.”
There was only one draft in front of him but Parker was certain it wasn’t the first and only that had danced across the table and skipped its way into TJ.
A waitress sauntered over and put a bacon cheeseburger and fries in front of TJ. “Can I get you something?”
He snagged one of TJ’s steaming fries before he fired the ketchup at it. “I’ll take a Coke,” Parker said.
“Sure you don’t want anything?” TJ asked.
“I’m okay.” Parker pulled TJ’s letter out of the way before it got messed up. He folded it back up and slipped it into the envelope.
“You’re not curious?” TJ asked.
“I figured you would tell me if you wanted.”
TJ snorted. “My father’s sorry for not being there and drinking his life away.”
Parker frowned. “He apologized?”
“Yeah. Part of his steps. So, all’s right in the world.”
“Do you believe him?”
Their eyes met. “Actually, I do. He sounds clear for the first time in his life. Of course, he doesn’t remember half the crap he did.” TJ sat back and pushed his half eaten burger away from him. He shook his head. “I believe him.”
Tears misted TJ’s eyes. He blinked them away before they could take hold. Parker’s heart broke when his lover looked that way. “Are you going to go see him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it.”
Parker didn’t talk about his childhood with anyone, but he knew he needed to tell TJ everything if he wanted to take things further. “You know how I told you I was adopted?”
“Yeah, you and your sister, Cora.”
“I don’t know anything about my birthparents other than what the adoption agency told me. My birthmother was eighteen. She didn’t know who my father was. It was a closed adoption. My birthmother made sure I’d never know who she was.”
“Fuck.”
“Yep. I was adopted by a wealthy family here in Cincinnati. They had two biological kids before they got me. I went to the best schools where I was the odd kid out. My adoptive parents gave me the best of everything, but not their love or time.”
“That sucks.”
Parker sighed. “They were career people. I’m grateful for everything they gave me. They just didn’t know how to love without money.”
“It sounds lonely.”
Their eyes met. “It was. Very.”
“Do they know you’re gay?” TJ asked.
“I told them two years ago. They were fine with it as long as I didn’t tell any of their friends.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. They’re worried about losing social status. It’s okay to have a doctor as a son, but not a gay doctor.”
“They said that?”
“They implied it.”
“Fuck. Do you think they’ll ever come around?”
Parker shrugged and sipped his soda. “Cora and my older brothers accept me. That’s all that matters. I hope that one day my parents will come around.”
“I think it’s harder to be part of a unloving family than have no family at all.”
“It can be lonely both ways,” Parker said.
“I’ve always wanted a family.”
Parker felt his heart flutter in a funny way. “Maybe you’ll have that some day.”
“Perhaps I will.”
For as different as Parker’s family was, he was g
rateful to have a stable home and siblings that cared for him. Parker couldn’t give TJ the past, but he knew he could give TJ a future with love, family, and commitment if TJ was willing. All Parker had to do was get TJ to trust him completely without pulling away. He’d been hurt by the one’s who were supposed to love him. Now, he didn’t know how to give his heart away without fear of getting hurt. Parker was going to prove to him that it was possible to love without hurt.
“We should go,” Parker said.
“I’m good right here.”
Parker inwardly breathed a deep sigh of frustration. He didn’t know how to pull TJ back from the edge he was standing on. “Alcohol does not fix problems.”
“Nope. It doesn’t. This cheeseburger is though.”
“TJ, let me be here for you.”
TJ shook his head as though trying to clear the last few years of his life away. “You are here for me.”
“You didn’t have to leave. You could have stayed with me.”
Parker reached out and brushed the back of his fingers on TJ’s arm. Those golden, silk hairs were beautiful. He shouldn’t have touched him, but Parker couldn’t resist the urge to feel TJ’s hot skin again. Their eyes met. Heat spiraled through TJ’s.
“Let’s get out of here,” TJ said.
TJ settled up the tab and staggered to his feet. Parker was quick to put an arm around his back for support. They headed outside at a slow, swaying shuffle. Parker’s Jeep was parked a few blocks down on the street.
“Stay with me buddy,” Parker said.
“You shouldn’t want me. I’m a fuck-up,” TJ said.
“You’re mine. That’s why I want you.”
“I didn’t think you were so stupid,” TJ said.
Parker leaned him up against the side of the Jeep, using his body to support TJ from falling flat on his back. He could see that TJ was sobering up and that he was embarrassed by drinking so much. “Trying to pick a fight by pushing me away?”
“Maybe.” TJ shoved out hard, pushing Parker. “Fuck off, Parker! I don’t want or need your help!”
Parker pinned him to the side of the Jeep. “Fighting has always been our foreplay, hasn’t it? It was one of the reasons why I loved training with you at the center.”