Acting Lessons (Off Guard)

by Katie Allen

  When he finished her hair, she opened her eyes to look in the mirror. She looked young but cute, and one of the funky knit hats that her friend Marnie had knitted for her would look perfect with the braids.

  “I like it!” Leaning forward, she caught him around the neck for a hug. “Thank you, Daddy!” As soon as the word escaped her lips, Jamie went still. She pressed her forehead to his chest, awash in humiliation. “Sorry. It just slipped out. Is that taking this too far? If it pushes things into creepy territory, I understand. I’ll just go back to calling you my Jamie-Bear, which I would do when other people are around, anyway, because they would definitely freak—”

  “Tophie, hush.” Although his words were stern, he softened them by dropping a kiss on her head. “Before I answer your question, I have one for you.”

  Curiosity overrode her embarrassment, so she lifted her head to look at him.

  “Do you call Mason Brown ‘Daddy’?”

  “Oh!” Understanding flickered on like a lightbulb above her head. No wonder he’d been uncomfortable. Her little Tophie act was biting her in the bum. “No! Never. Not even before Ben married my mom.” She had to think about what term she did use for her biological father. “I don’t call him anything really. Mason, I guess? I think I said ‘Daddy’ yesterday because I don’t want to go into what a sucky father Mason was—is—with people I don’t know.”

  His face relaxed a little. “When we’re alone, then, you can call me Daddy.”

  “Okay,” she said uncertainly. After having a whole discussion about it, it now seemed awkward and strange. “Just so you know, I’ve never done that before. I mean, I didn’t call any other boyfriends that. Not that you’re my boyfriend, I mean, since it’s only been a short time that we’ve known each other and an even shorter time that we’ve been pretending to be dating, so I don’t mean to come off as a stage-ten clinger or anything.” She sucked in a breath, ready to continue to babble, but was stopped by Jamie’s amused huff.

  “Breathe, baby girl,” he said, tugging on the end of one braid. “Now go shop. They’re probably all waiting for you.”

  Topher made a face at the reminder as he lifted her off the counter and placed her on her feet. “Poor Jules probably thinks I’ve bailed, and she has to take the Bitch Squad on her own.”

  “Probably.” A swat on the rear propelled her toward the door. “So go.”

  She turned and hurried back to him, standing on her tiptoes so she could give him a kiss. Thanks to her height deprivation, her lips only made it to his chin.

  “Bye!” She chirped, heading for the door again. “Thanks for the awesome big O. I’ll see you later—” she lowered her voice to an ominous, scary-movie tone “—if I survive.”

  His laugh followed her into the bedroom.

  Chapter Eight

  It was just as horrible as she’d expected. The only saving grace of the shopping trip was meeting Julia’s gaze for some mutual eye rolling as they plopped down in the ornate “husband” chairs outside the dressing rooms.

  “My feet have died.” Topher knew she should’ve brought her Chucks along for the trip. They would never have tortured her like the pair of booties currently squashing her toes. “I’ve killed them.”

  Julia slumped into the chair in a decidedly un-Julia-like posture. “I envy your feet. At least their suffering is over.”

  Their mutual whine-fest was interrupted as Barb emerged in yet another dress, this one a knee-length green silk. Turning in front of the mirrors, she frowned.

  Topher forced a smile. “That’s super-cute, Barbie Doll. It makes your boobies look ginormous.”

  The shop employee looked like she couldn’t decide whether to be appalled or grateful for the sales assistance. “It is very flattering. That’s such a lovely color on you.”

  As Donna bustled over from the other side of the shop, she glared at Topher, as if silently accusing her of trying to make Barb pick an unflattering dress. “That length is all wrong. It makes your legs look stubby.” Both mother and daughter looked at Barb’s reflection with identical unhappy expressions as Topher eyed her stick-thin calves.

  “Stubby?” she mouthed at Julia, who immediately began staring at the ceiling, her mouth twitching. Peyton, wearing an unfortunately similar dress, strolled out of the other dressing room. Because of her height, the hem hit her right above the knees. Her model-like body transformed the dress into something glamorous and runway-ready.

  The Golfini women scowled so hard at Peyton that Topher wouldn’t have been surprised if Barb ripped the dress off the other woman. It was like an in-person “who wears it better?” article.

  Unable to resist, Topher poked Julia in the leg. “Jules,” she hissed out of the side of her mouth. “You’re going to miss the eye-clawing.”

  “Stop it.” Julia didn’t take her gaze off the ceiling. “War, poverty, diseases, homelessness...”

  Distracted from the cat-fight-in-the-making by Julia’s depressing and random mumblings, Topher stared at her. “What are you doing?”

  Taking her eyes off of the ceiling for just long enough to shoot Topher a glare, Jules returned to her gloomy recitation. “Violence, abuse, bullying... I’m trying not to laugh, and you’re not helping.”

  “Oh.” After letting the other woman ramble for a few moments, Topher said, “I can help. Let’s see...wearing tights with shorts, kale, port-a-potties, ’seventies porn mustaches... How am I doing?”

  Julia didn’t answer. Instead, she clenched her eyes closed and took a couple of deep breaths.

  “Um...how about this—four more hours of shopping.”

  That sobered Julia immediately. “Much better. Thank you, Topher.”

  * * *

  In fact, they only had to suffer through two additional hours of retail hell before Ralph, Jamie’s driver, retrieved them in the SUV. Topher had a semi-discreet shoving match with Julia when they both tried to claim the front seat. On the hour-long ride to the shops, Topher had discovered that seventysomething Ralph was a relaxed and amusing conversationalist, unlike the other three women in the vehicle.

  Thanks to Julia’s freakishly pointy elbows, she managed to win the battle and planted her butt on the leather with a smug smile. Sighing silently, Topher climbed into the back and took a seat next to Barb, who looked...strange.

  “Are you okay?” Topher asked, eyeing the redhead’s grimace.

  “Of course.” Her expression changed to puzzlement, and Topher realized that Barb had been attempting a smile. Having that much Botox shot into her face couldn’t be healthy. Sending Barb a wary glance, Topher tried to figure out what would make Danny’s girlfriend act friendly to her.

  “You didn’t buy anything!” Barb’s tone was teasing. It sounded weird coming from her.

  “It was more fun watching you and Peyton try on clothes,” Topher lied. The truth was that she wasn’t sure where her agreement with Danny stood. If she wasn’t going to be paid for her two weeks at Jamie’s, then she had to stick to her usual frugal ways. Even if she was going to get the promised money, Topher had better things to spend it on than Tophie-appropriate clothes—things like rent or food.

  Barb tilted her head, looking puzzled. “Really?”

  “Sure!” Topher tried to figure out how to explain that she didn’t require being the center of attention at all times. “You both have bodies like models, so clothes look awesome on you. It was like watching a runway show!”

  Julia’s crack of laughter could’ve been caused by one of Ralph’s jokes, but Topher doubted it. Jules was definitely eavesdropping.

  Despite Julia’s peanut-gallery reaction, Barb looked honestly pleased. “Well, lots of people have told me that I should model because of my perfect bone structure.”

  “Um...okay?” Topher barely kept herself from sending a glare toward the front passe
nger seat. If Julia didn’t stop choking on her laughter, Ralph was going to pull over and do the Heimlich on her. “You totally should model.”

  A trill of laughter from the seat behind them proved that Julia wasn’t the only one listening. Topher glanced over her shoulder to see Peyton smirking in a very mean-girl kind of way as Donna stabbed her seatmate with her eye-lasers.

  Deciding that a change of subject would be wise, Topher asked, “Didn’t Dan-Dan want to go shopping with us?”

  “He did,” Barb said after giving Peyton a final frosty look, “but James had some jobs for him to do today. It doesn’t seem fair that Daniel has to work during his vacation.”

  Topher made a noncommittal sound that she hoped sounded more sympathetic than she felt. She thought it was more likely that Danny was spending the day playing video games than doing work of any sort. “That’s too bad that Jamie-Bear is being a meanie. Dan-Dan could’ve held your bag and told you that you looked cute and stuff.”

  “Exactly. Speaking of James...” The forced lightness in Barb’s voice caught Topher’s attention. She had a feeling that whatever was coming next was the reason behind Barb’s rather frightening attempt at friendliness. “You two are such a sweet couple.”

  “Aww...thank you, Barbie Doll! And you and Dan-Dan are totes adorable, too. Like the way you tell him to do something and he just does it like a cute little puppy? Sooo cute.”

  “Right.” The chilliness was back, although Barb tried to hide it with another tight smile. “It’s kind of the opposite between you and James, isn’t it? He seems very controlling with you.”

  Wondering where Barb was taking the conversation, Topher just put on her best confused face. “What do you mean?”

  “Just that he’s bossy.” Barb patted her hand with faux sympathy.

  “I know!” Topher bounced a little in her seat. She still didn’t know what Barb’s end game was, but Topher was willing to play along. “Isn’t he so yummy? When he gets that stern look,” Topher squashed her eyebrows together in imitation of one of Jamie’s glowers, “I just get all melty inside.”

  A hint of frustration was evident in Barb’s put-on smile. “But he treats you like a child.”

  “No he doesn’t, silly.” Topher giggled and leaned close to Barb, lowering her voice to a stage whisper. “We have sex.”

  “I don’t mean that.” Barb’s annoyance was obvious now. The conversation was apparently not going the way she’d hoped. “He acts so parental toward...oh, never mind.”

  “Okay.” Topher decided that she was going to use her uncomprehending-bimbo look more often. It really did get her out of irritating conversations faster than arguing would have.

  “Speaking of sex...” It was Barb’s turn to lower her voice, and Topher fought not to cringe. She really did not want to talk about sex with Barb, especially since she was feeling a little exposed and raw after her encounter with Jamie that morning. “Do you guys do anything kinky?”

  “Kinky?” Topher blinked a few times. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know—anything. Like role playing or toys or weird positions—that kind of thing.”

  “Sure! We do lots of stuff. What about you and Dan-Dan?”

  Waving off the question, Barb said, “Yes, we do lots of stuff, too. But tell me—” she leaned even closer “—do the, you know, scars bother you?”

  Topher laughed. She couldn’t help herself. Even in the short time since she’d met Jamie, she’d already stopped seeing the scars. “Of course not. My Jamie-Bear is perfect.”

  Barb sat back with an exasperated huff. “Perfect. Right.”

  “It’s okay, Barbie Doll.” Giving the woman a pat on the hand, Topher widened her eyes, positive that her look of sympathy was much more believable than Barb’s sad attempt earlier. “All men can’t be like Jamie-Bear. And Dan-Dan is very nice in his own way.”

  “What?” she screeched, jerking her hand out of reach. “How can you... Daniel is... Argh! You are the most aggravating person!”

  “Is that bad?” she asked tentatively, nearly biting her tongue off in an attempt to keep from giggling. Out of the corner of her eye, Topher could see that Julia was convulsing with laughter.

  Barb stared at her, mouth open, before snapping her jaw shut with an audible click. Without saying anything, she turned away from Topher and stared straight ahead. With a mental shrug, Topher allowed the side of her head to rest against the window and dozed for the rest of the ride home.

  * * *

  “Jamie-Bear!” She’d finally tracked him down in his study, which was like a smaller version of his fantastic library. After closing the door behind her, she bounced over to where he was seated behind his desk. He rolled his chair back and she plopped onto his lap.

  “How was shopping?”

  She loved when he spoke while she had an ear against his chest, so she could listen to the rumble of his voice from both the inside and outside. “Horrible, endless, painful and boring, and then the ginger viper asked about our sex life on the drive back. Oh! That reminds me. I need your phone number because I was dying to text you, like, a bazillion times.”

  His chuckle vibrated against her cheek. “A bazillion texts? That’s not really an incentive for me to give you my number.”

  Her bottom lip slid out. “But...”

  “I’m teasing.” One arm wrapped around her as he reached with the other for the cell sitting on his desk. “Here.”

  She seized it, quickly entering her number and sending a text to her own phone.

  Jamie snorted. “Pooh-diddums? That’s how you put yourself in my phone? Really?”

  “Yep.” Her reply was absent as she saved his new contact. Knowing he had her number warmed her insides. “Did you get a lot of work done while I was being brutally tortured? My feet died, you know.”

  “Poor baby.” Despite his sarcasm, she still wiggled with pleasure at the endearment. “And I did get quite a few things accomplished in the blessed silence. I only have about another hour or so of work to finish today.”

  Slipping a finger between his shirt buttons, she petted his chest. “Can I stay in here with you if I promise to be quiet?”

  His hand flattened hers, stilling her stroking finger. “I’m more concerned about the distraction than the noise.”

  “I won’t move or talk, then.” When he didn’t answer, she raised her head and gave him a beguiling look. “Please, Daddy? I just need a little break from the three witches before Ben and Mom get here. I promise I’ll be good.”

  “Fine.”

  She settled herself against his chest with a tiny grunt of satisfaction. As soon as she stopped moving, Topher felt something press the top of her head. Her mouth curled up when she realized he’d kissed her.

  For the next hour, she followed through on her promise. As Jamie worked on his computer and made a couple of calls, she was quiet and still. The only time she moved was when he turned her around, shifting her to the other leg. Although she didn’t doze, she fell into a calm, relaxed state. Topher felt like she would be happy to stay there forever, wrapped in his heat and scent and the steady thud of his heartbeat.

  It felt like only five minutes had passed before he sat back in his chair and stretched his arms toward the ceiling. When Topher glanced at his desk clock, she was shocked to see that more than an hour had gone by. Reality returned with a crash, and she groaned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Sitting up and twisting until she straddled his lap, she frowned. “I should go change. Ben and Mom will be here soon.”

  His hands closed around her hips, making her even more reluctant to leave the security of his lap. “You don’t want to see them?”

  “Sort of?” Knowing she sounded like the worst daughter in the world, she dropped her eyes to his chin. “I love them, but sometimes it�
�s easier to love them from far away.”

  He cupped her cheek, turning her face so that their eyes met again. “It’s just for a few days. The time will go by quickly.”

  She laughed. “How sad is it that I’ll be relieved when the only people I have to deal with are the Golfinis and Peyton? Speaking of Peyton, am I messing things up for you?”

  “Messing things up?”

  Ignoring the twisting rawness in her belly, Topher tried to keep her tone matter-of-fact. “She likes you. So much that she flew to a different state to spend Christmas with you. Are you dating? Because we could figure something out, like a pretend breakup or something. Not that the breakup would be pretend. I mean, our relationship is the pretend part, so that’s why I...never mind that part. It’s just that, since you kind of got trapped into this whole thing—” she waved her hands between them “—I wanted to give you an emergency-exit option. If you want it.” Closing her mouth, she stared at him. Since she’d confused herself with her attempted explanation, she didn’t have much hope that he’d understood a word of her babble.

  “Peyton and I dated,” he said, sending another unpleasant jolt of jealousy into her already sore heart. “It ended a few years ago. She’s been a friend of the family—well, an acquaintance of the family, at least—for a long time, which is the only reason I didn’t toss her out into the snow when she showed up uninvited.”

  Topher blinked. Throwing her out into the snow seemed...extreme. Amusing, but a little excessive. The mental image of Peyton’s model-long legs protruding from a snowbank dissolved when Jamie latched his hands around her thighs and hauled her closer.

  Her top gave up any hope of being considered a dress rather than a shirt as it rode up with the movement. Her thin layers of leggings and panties did not do a very good job in shielding her pussy from the hard bulge pressing against her—not that she was complaining.

  “So no breakup—pretend or otherwise.” His voice had gotten growly as his hands shifted to cup her ass. “I’m keeping you.”