by Maisey Yates
“So you’re wondering when we’re supposed to...”
“Have the sex.” She finished his sentence for him. Though he had not been planning on finishing it quite that way.
And, in spite of what he had just said, it was awkward. Damn awkward.
“When we...feel like it?” He cleared his throat. “I figure that’s kind of a perk to being an adult, isn’t it?”
“But how do we know if we both feel like it?”
“I’m a man who’s been celibate for three years. I think it’s safe to say I will always feel like it.” After three years of not even wanting any, getting some was about all he thought about at the moment. When he wasn’t thinking about trying to set boundaries, and trying to deal with the trauma associated with the fact that he only wanted to get some with the woman he considered his best friend.
He cleared his throat. “That does make things easier.”
“Come to that, I don’t really want to do dishes anymore.”
She arched a brow. “Oh, yeah? What do you want to do?”
“You.”
And that effectively ended the talking for the evening. And that was quite all right by him.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LISS DIDN’T USUALLY mind work. Work was a necessity, after all, and really, by and large she liked her job. But it was hard today. Because her head was full of Connor. Connor naked, Connor’s hands on her skin, Connor’s tongue on her...
Her face heated. Yeah, that was not the best thing to be thinking about while she was sitting at her desk.
“Did you have a nice weekend?” Jeanette asked from her position at her desk.
Liss felt unaccountably guilty, and completely transparent. “Yeah,” she said, clearing her throat and trying to keep her blushing to a minimum. “It was fine.”
Jeanette arched a brow. “Just fine?”
“Should it have been more than fine?”
Jeanette shrugged. “Me myself, I prefer to have weekends entirely comprised of awesomesauce. But how you spend your time is up to you.”
“I just didn’t do very much. Stuck close to home. A little hiking. A little swimming.”
“You went swimming? It’s cold.”
“Yeah, but refreshing.”
“You’re also lying,” Jeanette said, her eyes narrowed.
“I’m lying? No, I’m not lying. I went swimming.”
“For what reason? Like, did you lose a valuable piece of jewelry in the bottom of the lake? Because that could be a good reason to go swimming right now. Otherwise I would just have to go ahead and say you’re crazy. Except that you aren’t crazy, so that means you had a reason to go swimming.”
“Good Lord, Jeanette, what are you, a detective on the side?”
“Guilt. You reek of guilt, Foster.” Jeanette narrowed her eyes further, tightening her lips. “Who did you hook up with?”
It was official; Jeanette had to be some kind of wizard. Liss didn’t even have a hickey. She had double-checked this morning before she left the house. “Why would you think I hooked up with someone?”
“Because you question why I asked if you hooked up with someone, rather than just saying no.”
“Fine. I was skinny-dipping in the river. That’s why I swam.”
“Not alone.”
She bit her lip. She was caught. There was no getting out of it now. She looked down. “No, not alone.”
“Good for you. You need to rebound from that asshole, and it’s better late than never.”
“Great. So this is me,” Liss said, spreading her arms wide, “rebounding.”
“I see that. Anyone I know?”
“I took a blood oath not to reveal it.”
“So you broke and started sleeping with your friend after you moved in with him, didn’t you?”
Heat poured into Liss’s face. “No. It’s just that...he’s a prince. Of a small country. And he is engaged to marry someone else. So I’m, like, his last fling. And if the media finds out, the entire town will be overrun.”
“Right. So how is Mr. Cowboy in bed?”
“You mean the prince. You want to know how the prince is in bed.”
“Back in the early ’90s I sort of wanted to know how Prince was in bed, but that’s entirely different.”
Liss cleared her throat, moving toward a subject change. “So that’s settled. I had some sex. We don’t need to make a federal case out of it.”
“Oh, I have not even begun to make a case out of this. I want details. Is it weird? I’ve never slept with a guy I was friends with.”
“How did you guess all that?” Liss was completely defeated now.
“You have no game face. You looked both satisfied and infinitely worried. And you have looked that way since you walked in this morning.”
“Fine. I give. I slept with Connor. It’s amazing. It’s not as awkward as you would think. The fact that he has to wear clothes ever is a complete and total crime against humanity.”
“I’m really glad to have that theory on him confirmed.”
“I think I’m being an idiot,” Liss said, covering her face and leaning forward, her elbows resting on the desk.
“Why, exactly? Because having sex that is both good and convenient seems nonidiotic to me.”
“Because he’s my best friend. And I feel... I feel a lot of things.”
“Feelings are a bitch,” Jeanette said. “But you never know how things will end up.”
“I pretty much do. That’s the thing. That is the primary problem with sleeping with your best friend while having feelings. When you’re with a guy who’s just like a boyfriend guy, there’s mystery. You’re not really sure what makes him tick. You aren’t really sure what he wants. But I know Connor. I know what he’s been through. I know what he isn’t willing to go through again. And I even understand why.”
“Yes, that does add another layer to it. But you’re in deep already. Let’s just face the facts. You were in deep before you ever touched him, am I right?”
“I’m transparent.”
“A little bit, Liss. A little bit.”
“I should put a stop to this, shouldn’t I? I need to be strong.”
“Oh, hell, no. Treat yourself.”
“But he is not a treat. He is my friend.”
Jeanette laughed. “Why can’t he be both?”
“That’s the question we both asked last night. And the conclusion was, we would try to be both. But we were weak. Weak and sex-addled.”
“If a guy can make you sex-addled, stick with that for as long as you can.”
“That’s your official advice?”
She smiled. “I married it.”
“Well, I will not be marrying him.”
If there was one thing Liss was absolutely certain of, it was that there was no serious future with Connor. And even fantasizing about it wasn’t worth the risk. If she let herself go there...she could almost imagine the look of horror on his face if she told him she wanted more.
So she wouldn’t want more. Frankly, she was good at that.
She just needed this time. To deal with this desire. The desire she had been fighting off for the past too many years. It wasn’t going to fade away. That, she already knew. So she was trying this method.
She ignored the slight ache in her chest.
“Then enjoy him while you have him.”
Why not? Why shouldn’t she? She was going to treat herself, because she had been too long without a man in general, and had been never with Connor. And she had wanted Connor for ages, so she might as well enjoy it while she had it. The horse had already left the barn and all that. So there was no use getting precious about it now.
Liss turned her chair sideways and stuck a sta
ck of papers beneath the stapler, pressing it down hard. “I will, Jeanette. I will. And I will continue enjoying him tonight.”
* * *
CONNOR COULDN’T AVOID going to town any longer. He did it as little as possible, unless he was going to the bar to hang out, but he needed to get some things for the ranch, so he’d gotten his ass into his truck and made the drive.
Fortunately, Kate was working at the Farm and Garden today, so that was one less person to deal with making sympathetic eyes at him. He had not been so lucky at the hardware store or the grocery store.
But he had managed to be cordial. He had almost managed to smile. Which was all thanks to Liss, really. He smiled again on his way out of the store, thinking about her scolding him for his inability to have normal human responses.
“I just had one,” he said quietly as he jerked open the door to his truck and set the plastic bag with his soda, cupcakes and condoms in the front seat. He was trying his hand at not buying hard liquor, and instead had come up with artificial flavors and sugar, which seemed good to him. Also, more protection, since he and Liss had burned through the nearly expired box at record speed.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he took it out, flipping it open. He had the same cell phone for years and had never seen the point in upgrading. It still made calls, after all. “Hello?”
It was Eli. “Hey, you got some time? You’re in town, right?”
“Yes, I am. Do you have time? I thought you were supposed to be protecting the citizens. Or at least stumping for votes.”
“I’m on a break. Meet me at The Grind.”
Eli hung up, and Connor stuffed his phone back into his pocket. Eli didn’t ask much of him, so Connor figured he owed it to his brother to take a coffee break.
He got in his truck and started the engine, making the quick drive through the main drag of town to one of the newer coffee places that was quickly becoming a regular hangout, even among the old, crusty codgers, who were highly resistant to anything new.
Connor parked across the street, in front of one of the little tourist shops, just beneath the American and Oregon flags that were raised high and proud. He slammed the door shut and walked across the little two-lane road and into the coffee shop.
Eli was already sitting at a back table, his hand wrapped around a white cup with a lid. A latte, Connor assumed. He personally couldn’t stomach coffee that had been diluted to that degree. There was a second cup on the table across from Eli, and Connor could only hope he had not ordered any froofy shit for him.
“It better be black,” he said, pulling his chair out and taking a seat across from his brother, wrapping his hand around the cup on the table.
“It is. And strong enough to choke one of your bulls.”
“You know me well.” He took the lid off and watched steam rise up into the air.
“Okay. I have to show you something, and I have to ask you something.”
“I’m a little nervous, Eli, I’m not going to lie.”
Eli reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small black box, setting it in the center of the distressed-wood table, and opening the lid, revealing a very large diamond ring.
Connor looked up and stared at his brother then looked back down at the ring. Eli didn’t say anything; he only looked at Connor with an overly fervent gaze.
“I’m real flattered, Eli, but I’m going to have to decline.”
“You are such a dickhead.”
“Did you just call me a dickhead, Sheriff?”
“Deputy Sheriff,” Eli said through gritted teeth.
“Oh, that’s right, the election hasn’t happened yet. I would think you might be a little nicer to your constituents.”
“If you don’t vote for me, I’ll kill you in your sleep. How’s that?”
“Coercion. I think that’s coercion. That’s how it is.”
“Be serious,” Eli said.
“Okay. I’m ready to be serious.”
“Obviously, I’m going to ask Sadie to marry me,” Eli said. “Am I insane?”
“You would be insane not to.”
Eli cleared his throat. “I don’t mean am I insane to want to be with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I’m completely certain about that. I have been for a while now. But...she’ll say yes, won’t she?”
“Probably. Though I would ask her before the election, because if you lose she might move on to greener pastures.”
“I really should have asked Jack.”
“No, you should not have asked Jack. Jack would tell you to run from commitment.”
Eli arched a dark brow. “And you won’t?”
“No, Eli. I’m not going to tell you to run from commitment. Marriage is hard. I was married for eight years, and there were a lot of times when it just seemed like work. I loved my wife. But that didn’t make every problem magically disappear. Life still happens, all of the problems you have interacting with a person on a daily basis still happen. But if you love them enough, it’s worth it.”
Eli picked up the ring box and turned it so that the diamond was facing him. “I know she’s worth it. She’s worth anything. Everything.”
“Then it’s the right thing.” Connor reached out and patted his brother on the shoulder in a clumsy gesture of encouragement. He was out of practice at this older-brother stuff. But he was trying.
“Can I ask you something really personal?”
Connor shifted in his chair, lifting his coffee cup to his lips and taking a large gulp to give himself a little time to answer the question. “You’re going to ask whether or not I give you the okay, right?”
“Probably.”
“Then go right ahead.”
“Would you get married again? I mean, if you could go back, knowing what you know now, how bad it hurts in the end when things go wrong. Would you do it again?”
He thought back. To the years he’d had with his wife, to full flower beds and nice smells in his kitchen. Someone in his bed at night, someone to share his life with. It was all kind of vague, impressions of a happy time. Feelings more than specific instances. And he didn’t see her face. But the thoughts were...happy. Which was weird.
“Yes. I would.”
Eli looked down. “That answer means a lot to me.” He looked back up and met Connor’s gaze. “You really don’t want to have that again?”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said, because this wasn’t the time to BS and cover up his dysfunction with a stupid joke. As much as he would like to. “When you talk about going back...that’s a different man. I’m not the same as I was. The memories are... It was good. But I don’t know if it’s something I can do anymore.”
“Still planning on dying alone and celibate?”
Connor just about choked on his coffee. “Alone, anyway,” he said, clearing his throat.
Eli raised both brows in surprise. “Is that a confession?”
“You’re not my priest. Hell, you’re not even my sheriff yet. I don’t have to confess anything to you.”
“Fair enough. I’m going to ask her after the election party.”
“Oh, thank God. Let’s make this all about you again. I really don’t like talking about me.”
“Shut up, Connor. Is it a good time to propose? A bad time?”
“There is no bad time. Because that woman is head over heels in love with you. One thing I can tell you, Eli, with certainty, is that you love each other deep. When I’m around you, it almost makes me want to try it again. There, that was my allotted amount of sincerity and advice.”
“You didn’t answer my question, though,” Eli said, rubbing his hand over his forehead.
“Ask her after the election party. Her answer will be yes either way.”
Eli closed his
hand around the ring box and slid it back toward him, putting it back in his jacket pocket. “Okay, I will.” He stood, latte in hand.
“Eli,” Connor said.
“What?”
“Congratulations.”
He watched Eli walk back out of the coffee shop, and he stayed in his chair for a few minutes. He was happy for Eli. Genuinely so, which came as a little bit of a shock. Almost as shocking as the fact that he just had memories of the past that felt happy.
He picked up his coffee and took another sip before standing, waving at Cassie, the owner of the shop, and walking out the door.
There was a touch of bitterness to his happiness, though. Much like his coffee. Because what he’d said to Eli was true. He was too changed to simply go back to what he’d had.
And then there was what he had now. With Liss. Which was... Yeah, it was the best sex he’d ever had. He hadn’t known sex could be this good. She just seemed to want everything he gave her, not just wanted, begged for it.
That was a damn powerful aphrodisiac.
Then, during the day, she was still his best friend.
A pretty damn good arrangement.
That might explain a good amount of the happiness he had felt today. Lately.
He pushed open the door to the coffee shop and walked out onto the street, making his way down the sidewalk past the collection of little shops that were popping up with alarming regularity lately. Tourism in Copper Ridge was booming. Thanks in large part to the renovated old town, events organized by the county, and city council and bed-and-breakfasts like Sadie’s.
He turned to face the street, ready to jaywalk back to his truck, and paused. There was a secondhand clothing store just next to the knickknack tourist trap he was parked in front of. Rethread. If he was the type of guy who got any enjoyment out of puns, he might’ve laughed.
He crossed the street, drawing closer to the store windows, and stopped completely as a flash of pink caught his eye. Right there in the window, on a pale mannequin that was contorted into a very strange shape, was a pale pink, skinny-strapped prom dress.
The conversation he’d had with Liss on his porch a couple of weeks ago played back in his mind.