by Maisey Yates
She’d said that in hindsight she thought the dress was ugly, but he’d seen the lie in her eyes even then. Because she was still hurt over it. She still loved it.
And this might look nothing like the dress she had described to him, but it was how he’d pictured it. And he had no clue if it would fit her.
But he had to buy it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CONNOR POUNDED THE LAST nail into the barn a full four days before the election and the election-night party.
And he felt satisfied.
Of course, given that the whole crew was in place, and most of the details had been finished by a specialty team, him putting in the last nail was more symbolic than it was necessary. But he was in a place where he was happy to take that.
He hadn’t finished a whole lot of things in the past few years, but he had finished this. Fate had blazed through and burned yet one more thing in his life to the ground, but he had rebuilt. And it was better than the barn that had come before it.
There was a stone arch curving over the doorway and built partly up the first floor, adding detail to the red cedar planking that had been used to build the rest of the structure. The red metal roof shone bright in the sun, and the weather vane on top—shaped like a cow—was swaying back and forth lazily in the halfhearted afternoon breeze.
There was enough room for all of his equipment and a finished office on the top floor to help foster the idea that the running of the ranch was communal. Having it all centered in Connor’s house kept the others too much on the peripheral. Which he had been happy about when he’d been letting everything slide. But he was ready for a little help, a little accountability.
He pushed open the door and walked inside. The space was empty, a blank canvas. It smelled like fresh wood and stain, the sweet smell of grass and hay blowing in the wide-open side doors and mixing in, almost christening it for use.
Only a few months ago, all that had been here was ash. He could hardly believe it now. Could hardly believe that so much destruction could be erased. That something as perfect as the old barn could be created again, stronger, better.
He heard footsteps behind him and he turned, half expecting to see Eli. But it wasn’t Eli. It was Liss.
“This is... Connor, this is beautiful,” she said, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
He cleared his throat, his chest suddenly tight. “Yeah. They did a good job. And it will be done in time for Eli’s big election party. We’ll be able to celebrate his new position in style.”
“I dropped my ballot in the box yesterday,” Liss said, smiling now. “He’s got this.”
“He better. Otherwise I’m going to think this place is pretty dumb. I mean, if Eli can take care of me, he can more than manage Logan County. Though it might justify me going deeper into my hermitage.”
“No. No more hermitage,” she said, closing the distance between them, standing close to him but not touching him.
He was tempted to close the small gap between them, to wrap his arms around her and pull her close against his body. But he had a feeling that violated the First Amendment of Connor and Liss’s relationship Constitution. The separation of friendship and sex. Meaning there were normal friendship boundaries unless they were actually in the act.
Right now that separation seemed a little bit stupid.
“Then Eli had better win. Otherwise I’m building a cabin up in the mountains. Ordering all of my supplies out of a catalog.”
“That sounds kind of lonely,” she said.
“I’ll get a sheep or something. Seems like the thing to do in a situation like that. Anyway, sure, there will be people, but there will also not be pants.”
“You’re planning on leaving civilization for a sheep and the chance to run around without pants? You know, Connor, if you really want to stop wearing pants at home, I’ll let you,” she said, the corners of her mouth turning up into a wicked smile.
This was sex talk, which made him wonder if they were in sex territory. Which meant that maybe, just maybe, he could put his arm around her.
So he did.
“You might be okay with that, but I imagine Kate would pitch a fit if she stopped by unannounced and saw that.”
“It might keep her from stopping by unannounced,” she said.
“That is a very good point.”
She was smiling up at him, and she was just so pretty that he couldn’t stand another moment of being this close to her without kissing her. So he did that, too.
She made a small noise in the back of her throat and he felt it burn all the way through him like a shot of whiskey hitting his blood. He cupped her face, deepening the kiss. It just felt so good. So good to be this close to someone. So good to be this close to her.
“So when is Sadie going to attack my barn with decorations and things?” he asked, his forehead still pressed against hers.
“We will probably start tonight so that it’s finished in time.”
“She roped you into helping?”
“Yes, she did. Me, Kate, Alison, Lydia and Jeanette. Oh, yeah, and Jack.”
“How did she get Jack involved?”
“Did you not hear how many women are going to be there? She did not have to twist his arm.”
Connor huffed out a laugh. “Well, when he gets in your way, just send him up my way and I’ll give him a beer and sit him in front of the TV.”
“Will do.” He pulled away from her, suddenly conscious of the fact that really anyone could walk in on them. “Hey,” she said. “This is beautiful. Really. And I’m so happy for you. And I’m proud of you.”
“I could not have done it without your boot up my ass. And I mean that sincerely.”
She smiled. “What are friends for?”
“A lot more things than I thought,” he said, surprised at how easy it was to tease her. Surprised at how good it felt.
She pursed her lips, pulling a face. “Watch it, Garrett.”
“Or what?”
“Or I might kiss you again.”
“I wouldn’t mind that.”
He heard voices and footsteps coming from outside and was thankful that they weren’t kissing again. Was thankful they were standing with a respectable distance between them now.
Eli and Sadie walked into the barn a moment later, talking loudly about how amazing everything looked.
“Really, they did an incredible job,” Eli said, looking around.
Connor looked at Liss, who took a surreptitious step away from him, stuffing her hands into her pockets. “Yeah, they did,” Connor said.
“I’m so excited!” Sadie said. “I can’t wait to get my hands on this. I’m going to have Kate making flower arrangements,” she finished, smiling broadly.
“You have a death wish, don’t you?” Connor asked.
Sadie waved a hand. “It will be good for her. She was practically raised by wolves.”
“Excuse me,” Eli said. “She was raised by us.” He gestured between Connor and himself.
Sadie made a sympathetic face at Eli. “Oh,” she said, patting his face, “honey, I know.”
He narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything.
“Do you have time to start decorating tonight, Liss?” Sadie asked.
“I am at your disposal,” Liss said. And Connor felt a tug of something that reminded him a lot of jealousy. Because he had sort of wanted Liss at his disposal tonight.
“Great. I was thinking we could come out after dinner. It’s going to be fun!”
“I can come and help,” Eli said.
“No, you aren’t allowed to. Because it’s for you, for your election night, and it will make a really bad gift if you help. Plus, I don’t want you to help because you’re a control freak. And there’s only room for
one driver on this train. And that’s me.”
“I am not a control freak,” Eli said. He paused for a moment. “Wait, yes, I am. Good point. I’ll go to Connor’s house and drink beer instead.”
“Perfect,” Sadie said. “And we’ll stay in here and eat pie and drink hot cider.”
“What if I want hot cider?” Eli asked, frowning.
“We might be able to make arrangements.” Sadie wiggled her brows. “It’ll be like prohibition. If you come to the back door of our barn speakeasy, you might be able to finagle some hot beverages.”
“Or,” Connor said, “I will come to the front door and get a cup if I ask. Because it is my damn barn.”
“Poor Connor. I’ll bring you cider.” Liss patted him on the shoulder, and he jumped. It was totally appropriate contact, completely normal contact passing between the two of them, but it felt more intimate now, and something she probably shouldn’t do in front of the others. He pulled away.
He could sense that he had done the wrong thing. But there wasn’t much he could do about it here and now.
“All right, Connor will give you a few more minutes to admire your barn before we string lights and vomit cheer all over it. I know how resistant you are to cheer,” Sadie said, smiling unrepentantly. “See you later tonight, Liss.”
“I better go, too,” Liss said, forcing a smile. “See you later, Connor.”
And she left with Eli and Sadie, which left him alone. Knowing full well he had done something wrong, and not really sure what he could do to fix it.
Well, he still had the dress. And he suddenly had a very good idea for how to give it to her.
* * *
JACK HAD ONLY STAYED long enough to string the lights over the crossbeams on the barn’s high ceiling, and in the tall branches of the trees outside. After that he had feigned a dramatic muscle injury and limped off, saying only a beer would cure it.
Sadie had her phone docked into some little speakers and was playing country music. Alison had brought pie, and Sadie had provided a slow cooker filled with apple cider, both of which were sitting on a rough-hewn wooden table placed in the back of the room.
Leave it to Sadie to throw an entire party that centered around preparing for a party.
Lights had also been strung outside, and tables set up with a few inside, as well. But there was enough space for dancing, and a temporary stage for both music and announcements.
And every single one of those tables that had been set up needed, per Sadie, three small flower arrangements, placed in Mason jars, and one larger one in a tall glass milk bottle.
Liss was sitting in a folding chair in front of a card table, arranging fatally dried flowers and burlap ribbons in jars. Kate was sitting on the floor, her expression a near comical scowl as she attempted to follow Sadie’s example arrangement to the letter.
“It’s really a shame she didn’t need anyone to shoe a horse, catch a wandering calf or repair barbed wire to prepare for this party,” Kate muttered. “That, I could have done.”
“I would have fared better if she just needed her taxes prepared,” Liss said.
Kate looked up at her. “I think you’re doing better than I am. I should have left after the lights were done. Jack had the right idea.”
“No, Jack is a lazy bum.”
“Or he just knows his limitations. And his limitations are flower arrangements.”
“True,” Liss said.
“Less complaining, more arranging,” Sadie chirped from across the room.
“You know, Sadie,” Kate said, “I always wanted a sister. But it turns out it’s overrated.”
“I’m not your sister. Yet,” Sadie said, smiling.
“She will be,” Kate said, her tone hushed. “Not even Eli is stupid enough to let her get away.”
For some reason that comment hit her close to the bone. Maybe because of the way Connor had pulled away from her in front of Sadie and Eli earlier. Because the fact remained Connor would be stupid enough to let her get away. Which was fine, wasn’t it? Because this was all just physical. And when that burned away, their friendship would remain. So he would only let her get away in part. He would keep most of her. It’s just that their interactions would always include clothes when this was over.
She swallowed hard.
“Do you think you’ll get married in the barn?” Jeanette asked Sadie from where she was sitting.
Sadie’s cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink. “We are not engaged. So that would be getting ahead of myself.”
“But of course you are ahead of yourself,” Lydia said.
“Of course I am,” Sadie said. “I may or may not have a few secret files with inspiration pictures in them.”
“I knew it,” Lydia said. “And I’m glad. I’m glad he has you. Because he’s most definitely the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”
“True,” Alison said, cutting a few more slices of pie. “He’s happier with you than I am without my husband.” The room got quiet. “It’s okay to laugh at that,” she added.
Jeanette did. “Let’s hear it for good decisions,” she said, raising her mug. “To choosing good husbands and getting rid of bad ones.”
For some reason Liss looked down at Kate, who was looking back at her. “I would just like to get a first date,” she said, quietly enough that only Liss could hear.
“Sometimes dating is overrated,” Liss said.
Now she just felt weird and unsettled.
“To answer your question, though,” Sadie said. “Yes, I would like a really country wedding. On the ranch, of course. I mean, why get married anywhere else when you have access to all of this?” She sighed. “Six months ago I could not have imagined being in a position where I might want to get married. It’s amazing how love changes things.”
The unsettled feeling grew, widened, into a sensation of gnawing envy.
Kate gave Liss another rueful smile. “We’re going to have to arrange flowers for their wedding,” she said, shaking her head sadly.
It suddenly occurred to Liss, as she sat there with dried flowers in her hands, just how much she wanted to arrange flowers for her own wedding someday. But not just a generic wedding, to a generic groom.
A wedding in this barn. A wedding to the man who owned it.
She was going to cry. She was going to cry right here and now, in front of everybody.
No, no, you aren’t.
She bit the inside of her cheek and kept fiddling with the flowers.
There was nothing she could do about what she wanted, nothing she could do about the situation she and Connor found themselves in. The one where she wanted a whole lot more than he ever would.
Her mind kept going back to when he’d pulled away from her earlier today. That action had spoken a lot louder than any words ever could.
She was an idiot. How had she not realized it would end up like this?
Well, she knew why. Because she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge just how much he meant to her. Just how much she wanted from him.
Frankly, she still didn’t.
“Are you okay?” Kate asked. She looked concerned and also horrified that she had stepped into a forest of delicate emotions.
“I will be,” she said, not sure if she was telling the truth or not.
“The idea of arranging flowers for their wedding is really that sad?”
Liss laughed. “Yes, if it’s anything like this.”
“I might fake my own death and change my name.”
“But then you would miss the wedding,” Liss said.
“I would make a dramatic return for the happy day.”
Liss smiled. The entire Garrett family meant a lot to her. The entire Garrett family was like her family. And on the heels of the realization of just how m
uch she wanted from Connor, she also realized she couldn’t risk it.
Because if something happened between her and Connor, something bad, she wouldn’t just lose his friendship, she would lose the whole family.
“I might make you take me with you,” she said.
“I’d be happy to,” Kate said.
“Good. Then it’s a plan. And I don’t think it’s an extreme reaction to flower arrangements at all.”
Liss looked around the room at everyone here, people she was linked to, people the Garrett clan was strongly linked to. Yes, she wanted more, but the risk would outweigh the reward. Because there was no way Connor could give what she desired.
So yes, maybe she loved him. But this, the relationships in this room, they were love, too.
If she couldn’t have everything, then she would just have this.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LISS HAD SKIPPED sex with Connor the night of the barn decorating, claiming exhaustion as an excuse. She’d been feeling too raw after her realizations to risk getting naked with him. But she knew her resolve wouldn’t last.
She didn’t really want it to last, anyway. Because she had to make the most of whatever this was, for as long as she had it.
But she was exhausted after a day of taking abuse from a couple of very difficult clients at work. She hadn’t gotten off until after six, trying to resolve various issues, and what she needed was some time to herself, and possibly a bath to build up some resolve before she actually came face-to-face with Connor.
She dumped her purse on her bed and went digging for her pajamas. So she wouldn’t be looking all that sexy when she did come into contact with Connor. But he didn’t seem to mind what she was wearing. He was more interested in what she wasn’t wearing. That made her smile a little bit.
She found her flannel pajama bottoms in the bottom drawer of the dresser and straightened, turning around and facing the bed. Then she paused when she saw a white garment bag hanging over the back of her door.
There was a note taped to it.
She crossed the room and grabbed hold of the note. It was attached to the garment bag with a rolled-up piece of duct tape. She laughed and unfolded it. It was short, and to the point, written in Connor’s very square handwriting.