North Star Guide Me Home

by Jo Spurrier

  Many of those they passed fell in behind them, but as they drew near the group’s campsite, the scattered folk grew to a choking crowd. Fires had been lit on the sand, and crude shelters had been built out of fallen trees and salvaged cloth. Somewhere, Sierra smelled roasting meat, and her mouth began to water with a fierce hunger.

  Men and women crowded around, shouting out questions and calling Cam’s name, and pressing close to Sierra to peer at her face and touch her legs and feet as she rode by. In the end, Cam and Madric had to shout at the clustered folk to let them pass.

  ‘Sirri, where are they?’ Cam said.

  ‘Keep going this way,’ Sierra said. ‘It’s not much further.’

  As they passed through the knot of former slaves, a woman had come out of the crowd to join the conversation. She was of middle years, with deep lines etching her face. ‘I’ve been trying to keep people calm, my lord, but they’re scared — frightened the Slavers will be back and the legions will come after Lord Rasten and Lady Sierra.’

  ‘Does everyone know who he is — who they are?’ Cam said.

  ‘Oh, Gods yes, my lord. Back in Ricalan we heard the tales, and the girls who went off with the soldiers tried to find out anything they could. Besides, sir, who else in Ricalan could do what he did? Please, my lord, tell me, is it true? Is Kell truly dead, and the old king and queen too?’

  ‘It’s true,’ Sierra said. ‘I saw Kell die myself, and I spoke to men who saw King Severian’s body, back in the spring. The queen was alive last I heard, though.’

  ‘You see?’ the woman said. ‘People are scared, my lord, but they’re hopeful, too. If anyone can take us home again, it’ll be the Children of the Black Sun and you.’

  The edge of the rough camp was still several hundred yards from where Sierra had left Isidro. As they moved beyond its border, the woman faltered. ‘My lord, it’s not safe to go any further.’

  Cam stopped to look at her. ‘Not safe?’

  ‘There was … there was something going on back there, sir. A lot of light and ungodly noise, and we heard screaming. A few folk tried to investigate, but they were sent back. He never said anything, my lord, but he made it quite clear we were to leave him alone.’

  ‘Leave who alone? Rasten?’

  The woman nodded, her face pale and fearful.

  ‘Oh, by the Fires Below, Sirri —’

  Sierra closed her eyes and reached for Rasten. He was closed off to her completely, as though a vast wall of ice had sealed off the connection. She felt a sudden chill around her heart. ‘I have to find him —’

  ‘No, wait. We’ll go in together.’ Cam turned to Madric and handed him the reins of his horse. ‘Alright, here’s what I need you to do. I want everyone with military experience to report to me in an hour. Find any priests, or anyone with experience tending wounded. Seek out any wounded, or any folk too weak to find their own water and see that they’re cared for. I also want any maps the Slavers had. Find someone to see to these horses, but don’t let anyone go through our packs — there are mage-crafted devices in there which can be damaged if they’re not handled correctly. Now …’ He reached into his saddlebags and pulled out a map case. ‘Once you find some with military experience, I have a mission for them,’ he said, unfurling the map. ‘There’s a rocky tor here, off to the northwest. Around it are a hundred and fifty or so dead soldiers, all armed and armoured, and a lot of loose horses. Detail some men to head out there and strip the dead of anything we can use. But tell them to be careful — if they see any live soldiers, they’ll have mages with them, so abandon the mission and retreat. We’ll have plenty more chances to arm ourselves in the coming days, but no way to replace lost men. Any questions?’

  Madric saluted him again. ‘No, sir. I’ll report back in one hour, my lord.’

  Sierra only half listened as Cam rattled off orders. She ached with a bone-deep weariness, and it seemed that every fibre of her body throbbed like a burn. She wanted a drink of fresh water and a patch of soft sand to lie upon. Soon, she promised herself as she slipped down from the saddle and turned towards the camp. Behind her, Delphine said, ‘Perhaps we should let her go first, Cam —’

  ‘No, I’m not letting us get separated again, and by all the Gods, Isidro’s up there with that … creature. I need to see him, Delphi. Just stay close.’

  The first thing Sierra noticed was that the horses were gone. Their tether-line had snapped, as though they’d broken it in panic.

  There was no sign of Rasten, but since she’d left he’d constructed a small shelter over Isidro’s bed. She went to him at once, with Delphine at her heels.

  His face was smooth, untroubled, though his hair was still stringy with old, dried sweat. She laid a hand on his brow, and then reached under the blanket to feel the skin of his chest. He was neither feverishly hot nor clammy and chill. She peeled back the blanket to check the bandaged stump of his arm. Delphine gasped at the sight of it — there was more blood than Sierra remembered, but it was dark and dry.

  She backed out of the shelter as Cam and Delphine huddled around him. Outside, she turned on her heels, listening carefully although she could hear nothing over Cam’s low murmuring and Delphine’s quiet sobs of dismay. There was no sign of Rasten.

  ‘Rasten!’ she called, echoing it with her mental voice. Her heart had quickened its pace, and she remembered calling for him like this back in the deep winter, the first time she’d voluntarily called to him for help. She scarcely felt any less nervous now — something had gone wrong. Since Kell died, he had been as brittle as spun glass … but he should have been fine. All he had to do was hole up here with Isidro and keep the both of them safe.

  Black Sun, please let him be alright. I should never have left him alone … But what choice had she had?

  After a moment, Cam murmured something to Delphine and came to join Sierra. ‘Where else could he be?’ Cam said.

  Not back towards the other camp. Rasten hated crowds, he hated the way they stared at him, thinking of all the things he’d done, all the things that were rumoured to have been done to him. ‘This way,’ she said, and set out in the other direction.

  They’d gone only a hundred or so strides when Sierra saw an odd shape lying on the stones. It took her a long moment to recognise it as a human figure, naked and curled into a lax ball under the drawn-out shadows of the afternoon. Their skin was streaked with blood, thick rivulets that left their hide striped like a tiger’s pelt.

  Sierra broke into a run, pebbles rolling and sliding under her feet.

  It was a woman, clothed in nothing but matted black hair and drying blood. Sierra threw herself down beside the girl as a swift, hot stream of power rushed through her, making her gasp and shiver. It had been so long since she’d laid hands on anyone but Rasten or Isidro, she’d forgotten to be mindful of her touch. As the power flowed, the deep, burning throb that had spread throughout her body began to abate. By the Black Sun herself, Sierra thought. I must be exhausted if I couldn’t tell it was coming from someone else, instead of my own flesh. The girl’s skin was cool, and a pulse thrummed steadily beneath her fingertips. ‘She’s alive,’ she said to Cam as he crouched by her side.

  ‘What in the Fires Below has he done? Where’s she hurt? I can’t see any wounds …’

  ‘She’s not,’ Sierra said. The girl’s skin was unbroken.

  ‘But there’s blood everywhere! Where has it come from?’

  ‘I’m not sure … but she hasn’t been cut, Cam. She doesn’t seem to be injured at all.’ There were no signs of beating or rape, nothing but that deep, scorched feeling that Sierra’s touch had banished. ‘Let’s get her back to the shelter.’

  Delphine bit her lip as she watched the pair go, but then she turned to Isidro, blinking back tears.

  He was shockingly pale, his lips tinged blue and circles dark as bruises beneath his eyes. Hesitantly, she lifted the blankets again to peer at the bandages wrapped across his chest, afraid to imagine what had caused wounds that
ran from his collarbone to the opposite hip.

  Beneath the blanket, she caught another glimpse of the bandaged stump, and the vacant space where his forearm should have been. Delphine’s stomach lurched, and she laid the blanket down again and reached for his good hand, cradling it to her. ‘Oh, Issey,’ she murmured. ‘I was so afraid I’d never see you again …’ His fingernails were blue too.

  ‘He’s lost a lot of blood.’

  The voice came from behind her, and Delphine froze. Her muscles turned to ice, and it took an effort to force herself to turn.

  He stood a few feet away, gazing down at her with his hands restlessly clenching and unclenching.

  It had to be Rasten. She’d spoken to him a few times, but she’d never laid eyes on the man who had tormented and tortured the man she loved. He was so young! Little more than a boy. He was handsome, too, with dark eyes and gently curling hair. Something in his eyes reminded her of Isidro, back when she had first seen him chained like a wild beast in the Battle-Mages’ tent. She’d read the pain in his eyes, the desperation, and to her shame she recalled how she’d shoved it aside, refusing to acknowledge the suffering of a fellow human being.

  Delphine saw that same pain and desperation in Rasten’s eyes, but there was something else there besides … fear and anger and the fury of a forest fire raged within him, restrained beneath his skin.

  ‘You saved his life,’ Delphine said. ‘I … I wish there was some way to repay you.’

  ‘That debt was mine to pay, not yours,’ he said.

  Delphine drew a ragged breath. She’d never been so close to a Blood-Mage before, and she could feel his power brushing against hers, like ants crawling over her skin. It made her feel like she had when she’d worked with Sierra in Demon’s Spire — she felt torn between wanting to run away, and the urge to take him under her wing like a lost child.

  Voices drifted across the rocks. Rasten flinched away from the sound, moving as though to duck around behind the shelter and out of sight, but then he stopped, tense and vibrating with the energy Delphine could sense beneath his skin.

  When the other two came into sight, it took Delphine a moment to identify the burden slung across Cam’s shoulder — a naked woman, as limp and boneless as a discarded doll.

  Both of them stopped, but after only a brief hesitation Cam came forward. ‘Delphi, get a blanket, please. Lay it out beside the shelter.’

  Hastily she obeyed, grabbing a spare folded by Isidro’s feet. It was clean and soft, which seemed profoundly strange when there was not one thing in her packs that wasn’t stiff with sweat and coated in dust.

  Cam set the woman down, and Delphine swiftly covered her, feeling herself flush on the poor girl’s behalf. She couldn’t imagine how she would feel if strangers had come upon her in such a state — but perhaps the poor soul had more pressing concerns.

  ‘Rasten,’ Sierra said. Her voice was soft, gentle, as though she was speaking to soothe a frightened beast. ‘What happened?’

  ‘By all the Gods, Sirri, do you even need to ask? Isn’t it obvious? He knows you won’t let him use you as he wishes, so he found another way to satisfy his cravings. Tigers take you,’ he snarled at Rasten. ‘You’re nothing more than a savage beast.’

  Rasten took a step back, glancing from Cam to Sierra. ‘It’s not like that.’

  ‘Cam, hold your tongue,’ Sierra said.

  He ignored her. ‘Isn’t it? Save your stinking breath, I don’t believe a word. Just couldn’t help yourself, could you? The moment Sirri left you alone you snatched the first woman you found and went right back to your old tricks —’

  ‘Shut up, Cam!’ Sierra snapped, and with her words Delphine felt her power swell in a thunderclap and a flash of light. ‘He didn’t rape her.’

  ‘You expect me to believe that?’

  ‘Yes. I do.’ She cut him a hard glare, while Delphine felt power throb against her skin. At her feet, the girl seemed about to stir — she breathed a sigh, and shifted her head against the blanket. Delphine crouched down beside her, but the girl settled. ‘I’d feel it if he had,’ Sierra said, ‘or have you forgotten?’ She turned back to Rasten. ‘It’s alright, it’ll be alright. Just tell me what happened.’

  Delphine saw a tremor ripple through his shoulders, and his hands trembled as he scrubbed them through his tangled hair. ‘I had to do it, Sirri. I had to. There was no other way.’

  ‘Had to do what? I don’t understand. Why would you do this now, when you’ve come so far?’

  ‘I had to! We’ll need her! There’s not … Sirri, there’s not enough! By all the Gods, I didn’t want to, but she … she …’

  ‘Fires Below, are you trying to tell us that she made you do it?’ Cam spat. ‘By the Black Sun, Sirri, he’s a mad dog —’

  With a wordless snarl Rasten flung out his hand and a cord of fire burst from his fingers, moving as swiftly as a striking snake to wrap around Cam’s throat and choke his voice to silence.

  ‘Rasten, no!’ Sierra bunched a fist to strike him in the chest. It wasn’t much of a blow, but Rasten flinched away. Sierra followed him, shaking her fist. ‘Don’t you dare threaten my friends — don’t you DARE! Let him go, now!’

  The choking band pulled Cam to his knees, and with a curse Delphine scrambled over the woman’s body and hurried to his side. She found Rasten’s gaze upon them, his eyes dark with fury and as wide as a madman’s. He held the strand of power a moment longer, and then with steady deliberation, he wound it back in. Cam drew a gasping breath and began to pant, hands at his reddened throat. Delphine wrapped an arm across his shoulders. ‘Cam, dearest,’ she murmured, ‘I think you’d best listen to the girl and shut your wretched mouth!’

  Rasten backed away further as he looked around with wide, crazed eyes. Raised voices were coming from the makeshift camp, and Rasten flinched away.

  Sierra drew a sharp breath and then raised her hands in a gesture of peace. ‘Alright. Rasten, it’s alright. We just need to calm down — let’s not scare these folk any more than we already have.’

  Rasten shook his head. He was breathing hard, panting to match Cam. Delphine felt power pulsing within him, and where it skimmed against her it felt like a brush made of needles dragging over her skin. ‘No. No, Sirri, I can’t do this. Not now. I can’t.’

  As he turned away Sierra started to reach after him, but she caught herself and pulled her hand back. ‘Rasten …’

  He reached into his sash, and the air around him rippled, like heat rising from a fire. He vanished, leaving Sierra cursing on the rocks. ‘What in the Black Sun’s name?’

  ‘Camouflage enchantment,’ Cam croaked. ‘Issey had one when Kell captured him. The beast must have found it. Didn’t he tell you he had it?’

  Sierra kicked at the rocks, and stalked back to the fire. ‘What in the Fires Below is wrong with you? Have you lost all your sense? When a grizzly bear threatens to charge you don’t go throwing rocks at it! Don’t you know what he is?’

  ‘I know perfectly well. I think you’re the one who’s forgotten, Sirri.’

  ‘Cam, he’s not a monster. He’s just broken. Broken and lost.’ She sat heavily beside the fire, and sank her head into her hands.

  ‘Sirri —’ he began, but Delphine squeezed his shoulder, hard.

  ‘Cam, let the poor girl be,’ she hissed. ‘Can’t you see she’s exhausted?’ She stood, a little unsteadily, for her own legs were trembling after the day’s exertions. ‘Now, how about a nice cup of tea. If we have any, that is, otherwise some hot water will do. Let’s just catch our breaths.’

  ‘We have some,’ Sierra said, her voice muffled. ‘I was saving it, for when we were all back together …’ Her breath hitched then, and Delphine had the sense she was fighting to keep from breaking into sobs.

  Delphine nudged Cam with her foot and made a pointed nod towards the packs laid out on the far side of the fire. He returned her gaze with a sullen look, but then he heaved himself up.

  While he busied himsel
f searching for the packet of herbs, Delphine settled awkwardly beside Sierra, and offered her her last clean handkerchief. Sierra regarded it steadily before reaching for the square of cloth.

  For months, Delphine had been thinking of the day she’d meet up again with the woman she couldn’t help but see as her rival. But this was not the same girl who’d stolen away from Demon’s Spire in the middle of the night. She’d grown harder and colder, tempered by battle and fire. But at the same time Delphine could see shades of that sweet-hearted girl clinging to her like mist. Perhaps she was Delphine’s rival for Isidro’s heart, but part of her saw only a lonely, exhausted young woman in need of mothering.

  Sierra dabbed at her eyes, and crumpled the cloth in one grimy hand. ‘He … he wanted to leave that life behind. That’s what he said, and he’s never lied to me. Never.’

  Across the fire, Cam lifted his head. Delphine caught his eye and curtly gestured him to silence. ‘It doesn’t mean he lied,’ she said. ‘People sometimes act against their best judgement, against what they truly want. People make mistakes. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but it doesn’t mean he lied.’

  ‘I thought he was doing better,’ Sierra said. ‘He … he was trying so hard.’ She caught Delphine’s gaze with hardened eyes. ‘You must think me a fool. One of those girls who defends a man who’s free with his fists, saying he only has a hot temper. I know what he is, I know better than most. I just … I thought he deserved a chance to show what he could be without Kell forcing his hand.’

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ Delphine said. ‘He made his own choices. It’s just a blessing the girl isn’t hurt worse.’