North Star Guide Me Home

by Jo Spurrier

  Sierra nodded, biting her lip. Issey, you have to come back to us. You have to. Tears stung in her eyes, but she blinked them back. ‘And what about you? Will you be alright on your own?’

  He scowled. ‘I may not be a Sympath, but I can handle a few imperial mages.’

  ‘That’s not what I’m talking about. You’ve come a long way, but you’re still shaking off Kell’s chains. Will you manage?’

  He looked away, glancing past her to the camp along the streambed. ‘Better than I would here. I can’t stand the people, the noise of them, the press of them around us … I can’t take it. I just want to throw them down and make them be silent. I hate the way they look at me, the way they whisper behind my back. They’re driving me mad, Sirri. I just can’t take it …’ He broke off, frowning. ‘You won’t try to stop me?’

  ‘Would it do any good? You’ve made up your mind. Besides, there’s nothing I can do if you truly want to leave. But I believe you’re right on one count. It’ll come to a fight with Cam if you stay.’

  ‘And he doesn’t deserve to die, just for loving his brother.’

  Sierra was trembling, but she couldn’t work out why. The thought of Rasten leaving made a prickling void inside her. Was it fear? He’d terrified her once, but those days were long past. Perhaps it was fear that she’d finally have to face the consequences of fleeing the Spire to join him. Until now, she’d had the duty of keeping him steady and sane to distract her. But there was also the fear of what he would do without a guide to warn him when the warped paths of his mind led him into dark places. Was she setting him free? Or was she unleashing a rabid tiger onto the world? If I’m wrong, it’ll be more blood on my hands, Sierra thought. But, Black Sun forgive me, I can’t make him stay when it’ll push him to madness and risk the lives of those I love. ‘Is there anything you need?’ she said, glancing around the camp.

  ‘No, I have my gear, and a pair of horses. I just came to say goodbye.’ He reached for her hands, and raised them to his lips. ‘Fare well.’

  Sierra followed him to the streambed where he’d tethered a pair of horses. As she watched him ride away, she wept a scatter of tears, but she couldn’t decide if she was weeping for him, or for herself … for the girl she’d been when she crept out of the dark, chill caves to find him waiting for her. She’d thought herself so wise, then, so worldly, knowing what awaited her, the sacrifice she’d chosen to make. She’d had knowledge, but not true understanding as she did now. It was worth it, she told herself. To see Kell dead, to make us all safe. I’d make that choice again.

  Feeling numb, her eyes blurred with tears, Sierra padded back to the makeshift camp. She crawled back onto her bed at Isidro’s side and she knelt beside him, laying a hand on his forehead and then on his chest. For a moment he seemed about to stir — his eyelids flickered, and he shifted his head on the bundled shirt.

  Sierra froze, and bent close to whisper his name. ‘Issey?’

  There was no response. He settled into a deeper sleep. Sierra lay down, resting her head on her folded arms. He would wake soon, and when he did, there was no way of knowing if he would ever want her to sleep beside him again.

  ‘What do you mean, he’s gone?’

  ‘He left in the middle of the night. He took two horses and rode away. He’s gone.’

  ‘Are you sure? He’s got that wretched camouflage device. He could be lurking around here, out of sight.’

  ‘Why? There’s nothing for him here, and he wouldn’t lie to me.’

  Cam frowned into his bowl. It held only hot water. There was no tea left. ‘What makes you so sure? And what in the hells is he playing at, anyway?’

  Sierra bunched her fists. ‘By the Black Sun, I am not going to keep justifying my opinion of him to you. Do you really think I know nothing of him? He’s never lied to me. That has been the foundation of everything we’ve achieved since last winter.’

  Cam huffed a sigh. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You’re right. I just lose all rationality when it comes to that wretch. It’s probably for the best that he’s not our problem right now — Gods know, we’ve got enough to deal with. Did he say where he was going?’

  ‘East. Back home.’

  ‘By himself? With the Akharian legions in the way?’

  Sierra shrugged. ‘He can look after himself. But I doubt he’ll be on his own for long. There are more slave-trains out there and he’s taken a liking to freeing them.’

  Cam fell silent, gazing into the middle distance.

  ‘How’s the girl this morning?’ Sierra asked. ‘Greska?’

  ‘Better,’ Cam said. ‘Still sore, but in good spirits — a little too good, maybe. When she heard we’re marching on the mines, she begged to join the assault. I told her no chance unless she can demonstrate some skills that would be useful in a fight. Poor girl was so desperate that Delphi took her off to go over the basics.’

  ‘The men you sent to the rocks were successful?’ Sierra said.

  ‘Yes. We’ve now got armour, weapons and mounts for nearly a hundred and fifty men. We’ll be breaking camp tomorrow. According to the maps, it should only take a day or two with folk well-conditioned for the march. Madric’s rounded up those with training in war. I’ve arranged to meet with them in an hour or so to go over the plan. I want you there, Sirri. You’re a key part of the force.’

  ‘Of course,’ Sierra said. ‘You’re the commander, I’ll do as you say.’

  ‘Now that we don’t have to worry about Rasten, I want us to move to the main camp,’ Cam went on. ‘These folk only know Akharian mages and the mad dog who freed them — I want them to know they can trust you, Sirri.’

  Sierra nodded. ‘I’d like to spread the word that anyone with an injury can come to me to ease the pain. I know there are plenty out there — I can feel them.’

  ‘That’ll help. We don’t have any true physicians, just a few priests and midwives …’ He broke off then, frowning. ‘Ah, Sirri … there’s something else I need to tell you —’

  A sound from behind them cut him off. It was soft, but unmistakable — the rustle of blankets from the shelter behind them. Cam and Sierra both turned to see Isidro pushing aside the blankets and struggling to rise.

  ‘Issey!’ Cam reached him first, but Sierra was only a couple of strides behind him. Isidro looked down in bewilderment at the bandages wrapped over his chest and the stump of his arm. ‘What … what happened?’ He spoke slowly, his voice hoarse and slurred. When he reached for the bandages wrapped over the truncated limb, Sierra caught his hand. ‘Issey, no, don’t touch them. Don’t make it start bleeding again, you’ve lost too much blood already.’

  He frowned at her. She knew that look, it was an expression of utmost concentration. ‘Blood?’ he said.

  ‘Those cuts you took fighting Kell, remember?’

  His frown deepened. ‘Kell … is he dead?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘He’s dead. I promise you he’s dead.’

  He shifted his bewildered gaze to the stump again. ‘But … what happened?’

  ‘The wound turned foul … I’m sorry, Issey, we had to do it, you would have died.’

  He blinked in slow confusion. Sierra had the distinct impression he hadn’t understood a word she’d said. ‘I … I don’t …’

  Cam leant close. ‘Don’t worry about it. Just rest, Issey, we’ll figure it out later.’

  Isidro shifted his gaze to Cam’s face. ‘Cam? Where … when did you get here?’

  ‘Just last night. We’ve been trailing along behind you since you left the ranges.’

  Isidro stared at Cam’s face while he spoke, but his expression of confusion didn’t diminish. Sierra bit her lip and met Cam’s gaze. He seemed as worried as she felt. ‘Losing a lot of blood addles a man’s wits,’ she said. ‘That’s what Rasten told me.’

  Cam scowled at the mention of his name. ‘He’s been through a lot,’ he muttered. ‘He’ll come good in a few days.’

  Isidro turned back to the stump of his ar
m. He pressed his fingers to the dark stain and hissed in pain. Sierra hastily pulled his hand away. ‘Don’t touch it,’ she said. ‘The wound’s still fresh.’

  He scowled at her again. ‘What?’

  ‘We should send for Delphine,’ Cam murmured, and he leant forward to catch Isidro’s gaze. ‘Are you hungry? Thirsty?’

  Isidro turned to him, again with that slow and bewildered blink. ‘Need … need to piss.’

  ‘Well then, let’s take care of that first. Do you want to get up, or shall I find a basin?’

  Another blink. ‘Up.’

  ‘Alright.’ Cam crouched on his heels and pulled Isidro’s good arm across his shoulders. ‘I’ll take care of this, Sirri. Go find Delphine. She’s off to the south.’

  She went, to give them privacy. And perhaps for her own sake as well, as burning tears began to spill. She’d seen that frown of deep thought and absolute concentration on his face before — but back then he’d been puzzling out the secrets of mages dead for a century, or forming a battle plan against an enemy that far outmatched them. Not trying to understand simple sentences or struggling to comprehend why his brother was here when he hadn’t been before. Rasten warned me of this, she reminded herself. He said we’d see the effects of losing so much blood. He said he’d recover, in time.

  Probably. Rasten said he’d probably recover.

  By the time she found Delphine and Greska, she’d brought herself under control, turning her insides to ice the way she had so many times on the rack in Kell’s dungeons.

  The women were sitting in the shade of an overhang with legs crossed and palms resting open on their knees. At the sound of her approach, Greska lifted her head and cleared her throat, but it was only when Sierra called Delphine’s name that the other woman looked around. ‘Delphine …’ Her voice came out as a croak, and she coughed to clear it. ‘Delphine, he’s awake.’

  Delphine started as though a fly had bitten her. For a moment, she only stared at Sierra wide-eyed, but then she scrambled to her feet and broke into a run.

  They reached the camp as Cam guided Isidro back to his bed. Isidro didn’t look around as the two women approached. He was breathing hard, panting open-mouthed like he’d run a race. Cam helped him onto the felt pads and he lay down at once, closing his eyes, but when Delphine flung herself down beside him he opened them again and regarded her with the same slow blink before letting them drift closed once more.

  Delphine caught his hand in hers. ‘Oh, Issey! I’d hoped and prayed I’d see you again.’

  At the sound of her voice he smiled briefly, a mere quirk of the lips that was there for an instant and then gone. Then, he frowned and lifted his head, forcing his eyes open with an effort.

  Sierra was hanging back, blinking away tears and clinging to the ice at her core as though it was a lifeline.

  ‘Delphi?’ he mumbled. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I came after you, you great fool, what do you think I’m doing here?’

  His frown deepened, and he scrubbed his hand across his face. ‘But … you were supposed to stay with Mira …’

  ‘We couldn’t, it was too dangerous, my people were hunting for us both …’ She trailed off when she saw the same confusion and bewilderment that had left Sierra so unsettled. She sat back on her heels and glanced at Cam, muttering something in Akharian that Sierra couldn’t catch.

  Staring intently at Delphine, Isidro pushed himself up. ‘What … what’s that?’ He reached forward, and pressed his hand to her belly. ‘Delphine! What is that?’

  Delphine gasped and clasped her hands over his. ‘Good Gods! How can you know?’

  Understanding hit Sierra like a slap in the face.

  Delphine laughed, a sound of mingled nerves and happiness. ‘I was going to wait until you were stronger — I didn’t realise that a Sensitive like you would pick it up right away. Isidro, I’m pregnant.’

  She was speaking in Akharian, and Sierra could tell at a glance that Isidro hadn’t understood. Beyond Delphine, Cam caught Sierra’s gaze. We were going to tell you, he silently mouthed.

  Sierra turned away, hiding her face in her hands. ‘He can’t understand you,’ she said. ‘He’s too weak to think clearly in our language, let alone yours.’

  Instinct urged her to leave — to take her shock and retreat, to find a safe place to lick the wound the news seemed to have opened in her soul. But that would mean walking out on Isidro, and she couldn’t do that, not again. Sierra drew a deep breath, and let the ice fill her once again. You left him, remember? You gave up any claim you had. If there was any betrayal here, it wasn’t on his part. Besides, you’re a grown woman, not a jealous child. If she makes him happy, you should be glad of it. She lifted her head and lowered her hands, hiding all she felt as Kell’s dungeons had taught her.

  As Sierra turned back, she found Delphine watching her with shining eyes, but she hastily looked away, focusing on Isidro once again. ‘I’m going to have a baby,’ she said in halting Ricalani.

  It took some time to explain everything to Isidro, using small words and simple sentences. Still armoured against emotion, Sierra dipped out bowls of broth for each of them and passed them around. Isidro drank half of it before falling asleep between one mouthful and the next, slumped on the rumpled pads. While Cam made sure he was comfortable, Sierra finally permitted herself to retreat to the fire.

  After a few moments, Cam came to join her. ‘I was going to tell you, Sirri. I was just … I was trying to find the right moment, but every blasted time I ended up picking a fight over Rasten instead. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.’

  ‘It’s alright,’ she said, never lifting her gaze from the shifting flames. ‘You couldn’t have known he’d see it and spill the news like that.’

  Cam reached across to lay his hand on hers. ‘It was an accident. Rhia gave her the herbs, but we had to leave them behind when we ran. And Delphine … look, I know the two of you didn’t get along back in the Spire, but she’s not the same person she was then. She’s a good woman, and she’s made herself an enemy of her people by helping us. Give her a chance.’

  At last she turned to him. ‘I don’t bear her any ill will. How could I, after all she’s done for him? Whether he still wants anything to do with me has no bearing on what lies between them. Besides, we’re all in this together, aren’t we? We’re going to need her. I have power, but I’m not the calibre of mage she is.’

  Cam squeezed her hand. ‘Are you alright, Sirri?’

  The honest concern in his voice threatened to make tears spill, but Sierra clung to the ice around her bones. ‘I’m just tired, and I want to go home. And I’m worried.’

  ‘Rasten said he’d recover, didn’t he?’

  Sierra nodded. ‘He always tells me the truth. I don’t know why losing blood would steal his wits, but Rasten’s seen it happen, down in the dungeons.’

  ‘Well, with his experience, I suppose we ought to trust him on that,’ Cam said grudgingly. ‘So, we’ll just take care of him and give him time to recover. However long it takes.’

  Sierra drew a deep breath, and felt the ice within her crack. ‘Oh, Cam … what if he never forgives me? I still love him. All that time, I thought about him every day.’

  ‘Sirri, he never stopped caring for you. There was just nothing he could do to help you.’ He heaved a sigh. ‘Look, we’re supposed to be meeting the rest of the camp. Would you rather skip it?’

  ‘No.’ Sierra straightened and threw her head back. ‘No, I’ll come. I can’t sit here wishing and hoping for something that may never happen. It’s time to make our own plans instead of reacting to others. Let’s go and take what we need from this wretched mine, and then we can set out for home.’

  Chapter 6

  The rocking was soothing as Mira dozed; the ship’s creaking, the distant slap of the sail and the moan of the wind around the portholes lulled her to sleep. Of course, having given birth not two days ago might have something to do with that … />
  Even a month ago, she’d have laughed at the thought of finding herself on a foreign ship. But the encroaching winter and the Akharians and her own clan had driven her southwards, close enough to see the unfamiliar vessels tracking along Ricalan’s coast. They weren’t Akharian, her people were sure of that much: the blue, green and gold banners the ships flew were like nothing she’d seen with the imperial legions.

  It was Alameda who identified the flag — they came from Tomoa, a nation south of the empire, across the warm southern sea.

  Over the summer, the Akharians had pushed south, sweeping across the Mesentreian-held cities and harbours and driving Mira and her people to stay ahead of them. But what role these foreign ships played had remained a mystery. As the cold season approached, it appeared they were retreating for the winter, except for one ship that was forced aground for repairs after an early storm. When an Akharian patrol happened along, Ardamon’s men watched from a distance as the two groups met. There was nothing good-natured about the ribaldry that passed between them, with no aid offered or accepted on either side.

  Once the soldiers moved on, Ardamon sent some folk to make contact, and found the men willing to trade for supplies as well as information. They spoke Mesentreian, although it was not their native tongue, and for the most part they were dark-skinned, even darker than Delphine. After a couple of exchanges, Ardamon’s men then met with the captain, who warned them the Akharians would soon be returning. When that patrol came through, the path they followed was well away from where the Ricalanis and the foreigners met: the Tomoans hadn’t given them away. A few days after that, Ardamon went to meet them himself.

  The Tomoans had been employed to resupply the empire’s troops, and in between supply runs were taking the opportunity to gather information of their own. The captain, a tall, barrel-chested man named Bayard, knew a great deal of what was happening in the north and knew the Akharians and the Wolf Clan both were hunting for a young woman rumoured to be carrying the last heir to the throne of Ricalan.