A Question of Marriage

by Lindsay Armstrong

  Aurora grimaced. ‘No. In fact I think I did an awful lot of the talking.’

  He looked down at her, amusedly.

  Aurora stopped walking. ‘You were not nearly so loquacious,’ she remarked. ‘Were you being inwardly superior?’

  ‘Did I look as if I was?’

  She considered. ‘No. But, now I come to think of it, it was a bit like a test of some kind.’

  ‘Well, you came through with flying colours, but it wasn’t.’

  ‘I…so why were you so quiet?’ she asked slowly.

  It was another overcast night, windy and with ragged clouds pursuing a bright new moon. When the moon evaded the clouds, trees surrounding the car park cast stunted shadows and the wind bore not only a salty smell on the air but the unmistakable jangle of a marina close by as it sped through the shrouds of many a yacht. It also lifted Aurora’s hair and fluttered her emerald scarf as she waited for Luke Kirwan to answer.

  ‘I was slightly—preoccupied, I guess you could say,’ he replied at last.

  ‘Work?’ she hazarded, then looked rueful. ‘Groupies? Or—are you sure you weren’t measuring my social skills up against Leonie Murdoch’s?’

  ‘Perfectly sure. I was wondering what it would be like to kiss you again,’ he said, quite casually.

  Aurora’s immediate reaction was to back away hastily, which brought her up against the yellow Saab, causing Luke Kirwan to smile faintly, and add, ‘I don’t intend to find out here and now.’ He produced the keys and opened the door for her.

  It wasn’t until they were driving along that she could think of anything to say, and then the words burst out against her better judgement. ‘All evening?’ she said incredulously.

  ‘On and off.’ He shrugged. ‘Don’t you see yourself as kissable? I would have thought I demonstrated otherwise on Friday night.’

  Conscious of the possibility of walking into a trap, she said stiffly after a slight pause, ‘That’s got nothing to do with it. I—’

  ‘But don’t you?’ he persisted.

  ‘Of course I do—that’s to say, when I think about it, which is not—it’s not one of my preoccupations…I knew you were going to tie me up in knots!’ She looked at him bitterly. ‘And thank heaven I didn’t know about it at the time!’

  He laughed. ‘How do you think you might have reacted?’

  ‘I’d have probably been all hot and bothered,’ she replied tartly.

  ‘As in filled with revulsion or—wondering how a certain set of circumstances between us has failed to be amenable to your planning?’

  ‘I…I’m not sure…how do you mean?’ she asked disjointedly.

  He pulled the car up outside her town house, switched off and turned to her. ‘Your decision to hold me at arm’s length, Aurora, if not to teach me a thing or two at the same time.’

  Her eyes widened and her lips parted.

  He waited, with grave attention. But when she could only look crestfallen, a wicked little smile twisted his lips. ‘I’ll see you in.’

  ‘It’s OK, I…I’ll be fine.’

  ‘I was only intending to walk you to your front door.’

  ‘Gallantry I could live without,’ Aurora muttered, then looked embarrassed.

  His smile deepened as he got out and came round to open her door.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, attempting to step out regally but catching her heel in the hem of her skirt so that she actually toppled out into his arms.

  They closed about her and he picked her up and sat her on the bonnet while he disentangled her heel. He studied her shoe for a moment, then slipped it carefully on her foot at the same time as he murmured, ‘What a pity I’m not Prince Charming. This is also coming adrift,’ he added, and put his arms around her neck to retie the scarf around her hair. Then he rested one hand on her shoulder and traced the line of her eyebrows delicately with a fingertip. ‘There, all present and correct,’ he said wryly.

  Aurora could still feel his fingers on her foot, the nape of her neck and her eyebrows. For some reason, the way he’d handled her in those places, although with the lightest touch, had left a tingling sensation behind, but not only that. She was uniquely conscious of everything about this tall man who had spent the evening contemplating kissing her.

  She breathed in the clean linen fragrance of his shirt tinged with pure man, and thought she’d like to see him without a shirt because she had the strong feeling he was fashioned rather beautifully beneath his clothes. Then there were those eyes, that hawk-like look sometimes and the fascinating hollows beneath his cheekbones; and the way he’d picked her up as if she were as light as thistledown.

  But it was also the little things he did and the way she responded to them, she thought, as if being intensely familiar with this man whom she barely knew, who tidied her hair, smoothed her eyebrows and restored her shoe to her foot, was almost second nature to her. How strange, she marvelled. It’s as if he knows me better than I know myself, otherwise I’d be resisting and resenting him rather than thinking how nice it is…no, really, Aurora, you need to take a stand!

  ‘I swear,’ she responded at last, ‘that I am jinxed at times and never more so than in relation to you, Luke Kirwan!’

  ‘I don’t know about jinxed,’ he replied with a lurking smile. ‘It could be that someone up there likes me—since I swore I wouldn’t be so obvious as to attempt to kiss you goodnight.’

  ‘Are you going to?’ she asked.

  ‘Put it this way, would you like me to, now we’re…in such close contact?’

  ‘That’s—well, at least that’s an improvement,’ Aurora commented, more for something to say as she sat on the bonnet, desperately trying to withstand the sheer niceness of being so close to him. ‘You didn’t give me any choice the last time.’

  ‘Actually, sitting there, especially if I step off the pavement—’ he did so ‘—makes you just the right height for me to kiss comfortably now—another consideration,’ he said.

  ‘I’m sorry if I’m not tall enough for you,’ she said tartly.

  ‘Strange you should mention that,’ he commented gravely. ‘I did believe I had a preference for taller girls, but it seems to have flown out of the window lately. You don’t contravene my preferences in any other respect, I should add.’

  ‘Oh! That’s—’

  ‘Great legs, but I’ve told you about those; lovely skin; fantastic eyes and a figure to—’

  ‘I think you should stop right there, Professor,’ she said ominously. ‘I hate the idea of being totted up against a set of preferences!’

  ‘You’re welcome to return the compliment,’ he replied mildly. ‘What do you usually go for in a man? By the way, you were going to tell me what you thought of me on first impressions earlier—not trendy and yuppie, apparently.’

  ‘But not scholarly either, remember?’ she said with some irony. ‘Uh—a latter-day Mr Darcy—was one of them anyway.’

  He laughed softly. ‘Proud?’

  ‘Proud, bored, dangerous—I was right.’

  ‘Bored? Perhaps,’ he conceded. ‘But proud? I don’t see where you got that from.’

  ‘You wouldn’t.’ She studied him darkly. ‘It’s the last one I’m concerned about at the moment, though. You do happen to have me trapped on the bonnet of your car. Not to mention the rather public aspect of it.’

  ‘Aurora, you’re absolutely right. I did think I mightn’t be able to help myself—from kissing you. You feel so nice.’ He moved his hands down her arms to clasp her waist. ‘You smell so nice. And it was a rather memorable experience the last time we did it.’ He stopped and looked into her eyes with a little glint of mockery in his own.

  Aurora trembled suddenly and was conscious of a crazy desire to say—Just go ahead and do it, Luke, because now I can’t get it off my mind! But she bit her lip instead.

  He smiled crookedly and lifted her down. ‘I shall bow to your good sense, however, as well as proving I’m not dangerous at all!’ He released her and strolled
around to the driver’s side. ‘Goodnight, Miss Templeton. Sleep well! I’ll be in touch some time.’ And he slid into the Saab and drove off with a casual wave.

  Leaving Aurora on the pavement prey to a veritable Pandora’s box of emotions and sensations, one of them being that he was laughing at her… But it was only when she gained the sanctuary of her town house that she gave rein to emotions.

  ‘Who the hell does he think he is?’ she asked her goldfish as she stood in the middle of her lounge with her hands on her hips, having flung her bag down on a chair ungently.

  But the even more annoying thought, she discovered as she started to pace the room, was her own reaction to him. Talk about behaving like a dewy-eyed schoolgirl, she marvelled, and groaned aloud as she thought of herself stranded on the pavement by a deep sense of disappointment while he drove off waving…

  So, how to set the record straight? she pondered. By having nothing further to do with Luke Kirwan, she answered herself severely. Simple as that and for once in your life, Aurora Templeton, don’t be tempted to redress things or…give back as good as you got!

  What about her diaries, though? was her next thought.

  The next morning, when she got home from her early news shift, she received an unexpected visitor—Miss Hillier.

  ‘Oh! This is a surprise,’ she said when she opened the door, then her gaze fell on the parcel in Miss Hillier’s hands. ‘Is that—’

  ‘I don’t know exactly what it is,’ Miss Hillier said. ‘Professor Kirwan asked me to deliver it to you. May I come in for a moment, Aurora?’

  ‘Well, yes.’ Aurora led her into the lounge. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’

  Miss Hillier sat down. ‘No, thank you.’

  Aurora hesitated, then sat down opposite, to find herself on the receiving end of an unnerving stare.

  She cleared her throat.

  Miss Hillier put the parcel down on the table. ‘Aurora, although I don’t know what this is, and although I do now know you’re not what I first thought you to be, I think I should still warn you that you could be playing with fire.’

  Aurora chewed her lip, then said tersely, ‘What is he really? The devil in disguise?’

  Miss Hillier blinked. ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I happen to know that he’s not exactly a gentleman, but this is the second warning I’ve had on the subject.’

  ‘He can be a perfect gentleman,’ Miss Hillier said stiffly, then stopped and sighed. ‘But there’s obviously some game going on between you two and I can’t help knowing…well, that since he broke up with Miss Murdoch he’s been…different.’

  ‘I should hope so,’ Aurora said, tartly this time. ‘Because if the way he’s dealing with me is his usual modus operandi then he’s nothing but a cad, albeit a very attractive one.’ She looked ceiling-ward.

  ‘Men,’ Miss Hillier said slowly, ‘are…can be…difficult.’

  Aurora laughed unamusedly.

  ‘But I did believe he was very much in love with Miss Murdoch and to see him, so very soon, attaching the interest of another woman just…it doesn’t make sense!’ she finished frustratedly.

  ‘It’s beginning to make very good sense to me, Miss Hillier,’ Aurora said grimly. ‘He’s trying to make her jealous.’

  Miss Hillier blinked again. ‘If you know that, why are you going along with it?’

  ‘I’ll tell you.’ Aurora reached for the packet, stripped the wrapping and revealed one her diaries. ‘You remember that attempted burglary? It was me, trying to get my diaries back.’ And she explained it all.

  Miss Hillier sat transfixed for a long moment at the end of it, then she said helplessly, ‘If only you’d told me…’

  ‘If only I had,’ Aurora agreed in a heartfelt way. ‘But there’s something that makes it impossible for me to…’ She stopped and got up to pace around with her arms folded. ‘Not only that, but he’s holding the police file over my head.’

  ‘Oh, he wouldn’t…would he?’

  Aurora stopped in front of Miss Hillier. ‘You tell me, you know him much better than I do.’

  Miss Hillier hesitated. ‘He…doesn’t like to be crossed,’ she said at last.

  ‘I gathered that.’ Aurora took a breath. ‘You could end this farce, Miss Hillier. You could surely point out to him how…low he’s being.’

  Luke’s secretary stood up. ‘I don’t—’ she started to say, but Aurora interrupted.

  ‘I mean to say, not only you—but his own sister-in-law has warned me about getting my fingers burnt. Personally, I suspect Leonie Murdoch is the one you’re more worried about, but on one thing I do agree. I have four more “dates” to endure with Luke Kirwan and I am literally under siege.’

  ‘To…to sleep with him?’ Miss Hillier asked dazedly.

  Aurora shrugged. ‘When he sets his mind to it, he can be dynamite.’

  ‘So you’re not entirely unaffected by him?’

  Aurora paused. ‘Sadly, I didn’t know who he was at first and I found him, let’s just say, intriguing.’

  ‘I’ll do what I can,’ Miss Hillier said abruptly. ‘But I’m now very worried about him. All this is extremely out of character. He’s obviously much more affected by the break-up with Miss Murdoch than I realized.’ And she took her leave.

  Why do I get the feeling I’m the last person anyone need concern themselves within all this? Aurora asked herself with considerable irony.

  She got a response that same evening, just after she’d finished reading her five-year-old diary—a mistake, she had to concede. It was the year she’d fallen passionately in love with a married man, not that he’d ever known about it, but all the impossible and exotic scenarios she’d dreamt up to bring them together were there on the pages in black and white.

  ‘Nice try, Aurora,’ Luke said casually down the line when she picked up the phone, ‘but Miss Hillier is not subornable.’

  ‘Then she’s a disgrace to her sex,’ Aurora shot back.

  ‘Oh, I’ve been given a piece of her mind, all right. But short of burgling my safe herself, there’s not much else she can do. Incidentally,’ he drawled, ‘I gather Julia had a go at you as well?’

  ‘She did. Incidentally,’ she parodied, ‘we’re all of the same mind. That you’re using me to make your ex, or whatever she is, jealous.’

  ‘You’re wrong, you know,’ he said lightly. ‘The more I see of you, the more I want to get to know you. But there is the other way to do that.’

  Aurora looked down at the diary in her lap, and flinched. ‘Doesn’t it mean anything to you that I have to despise you for this?’

  ‘Well, you still haven’t slapped me, bitten me or told me to go to hell—in certain circumstances—so I’m not too sure about that. And it’s only four to go now—are you seriously afraid that you can’t resist me for four more dates?’

  Aurora couldn’t speak.

  He waited a moment, then said merely, ‘I’ll be in touch.’ And put the phone down.

  It was three weeks before she heard from him again.

  Three uncomfortable weeks during which she felt as if she were on an emotional roller coaster. Mainly because there was one small area of her that could not entirely hate Luke Kirwan, impossible as it seemed.

  She composed and rehearsed fiery, cutting speeches. She visualised getting him so besotted with her that he would be devastated when she walked away from him. She also visualised Leonie Murdoch walking away from Luke Kirwan, but as the days passed she lost a lot of her bite. In fact, she even started to feel outraged in the opposite direction…

  How could he spend a whole evening wondering about kissing her, then leave her dangling for weeks?

  To make matters worse, she was all too aware that the ambivalent state of her mind was responsible for these unreasonable cross currents in her thinking on the subject of a blackmailer.

  Then there were Neil’s questions to field. He’d been intensely interested in how the dinner had gone, and, perhaps fuelled by Aurora’s
disinclination to expand upon it, asked her several times if she’d heard any more from Luke.

  Or, she paused to think one day, had Neil been recruited by Mandy, on Leonie Murdoch’s behalf, to report on the state of play between herself and the professor? His keenness for the subject seemed a bit excessive otherwise.

  In a bid to disengage her mind from the topic, Aurora threw herself into properly organizing her new home, and took up gardening. She also spoke to her father a few times. He was having a whale of a time exploring Pacific islands, which she was happy to hear but it was impossible for her to relax. Then it crept into her mind that, despite a busy, fulfilling life, she was lonely and even the company of a blackmailer would be better than none…

  She was actually gardening when this thought struck, and she reared back from it physically, as if the rose bush she was planting had plunged its thorns into her flesh. And that was how Luke Kirwan found her when he came to call—kneeling upright on the lawn and staring into space as if she’d been mummified.

  In fact he said her name twice before she responded, and the way she responded was to be like a thorn of embarrassment to her for quite some time. She turned, nearly toppled over in surprise and said, spontaneously speaking her mind, ‘Oh—go away, please! You’ve complicated my life enough as it is!’

  ‘I beg your pardon, Aurora?’ he drawled.

  Of course she blushed scarlet, and when she wiped her face she left a streak of dirt on it. Then she tripped on her trowel as she staggered to her feet and had to suffer the indignity of his helping hand to restore her balance, but not only that—the quizzical set of his eyebrows and the fact that he was trying not to laugh.

  Then he said, ‘I’ve come to take you out to lunch, but perhaps you’d like to clean up first?’

  In spite of her several causes for deep embarrassment, Aurora was instantly moved to express her own satirical reaction. ‘You didn’t think you ought to call first? In case I wasn’t here or I had something else on, or—I simply might not have wanted to go to lunch with you?’

  ‘Well?’ he said mildly. ‘Are you any of those things—apart from obviously being here?’