The Marriage Mistake

by Natalie Knight

  “Yeah,” she says, resigned, “kind of hard to get around that.”

  Glad she sees my point, I continue, “Even if I could, though, how am I supposed to live with that? He obviously trusts me, and to marry him now would really be fucking him in the ass.”

  I glance at her for confirmation, but Percy doesn’t say anything.

  Instead, the hand that’s been casually holding mine tightens into a death grip.

  Her gaze grows hazy, far off.

  I swear to God it’s like she’s having a stroke.

  “Percy?” I ask.

  “Say that again,” Percy says.

  “Say what again?”

  “That last bit. Hurry up, Sams. It’s important!”

  I look up at my eyelashes like I’m trying to rewind the cassette tape of my brain.

  “If I marry Eggs…it’ll be fucking him in the ass?”

  Percy’s face lights up like a winning pull on a slot machine.

  “Sams. I remember what happened last night.”

  Chapter 27

  Percy

  7:24 PM FRIDAY

  So I’m in the back of a tuk tuk, bouncing up and down on the big, meaty cock of my on-again-off-again sugar daddy as we speed through the streets of Bangkok.

  “Oh my god, I know,” I moan as my eyes go crossed. “Hemingway and Fitzgerald were super gay together—but F. Scott loved Zelda! What was he supposed to do?”

  Silver Fox tries to say something back to me, but I just clap my hand over his pretty bearded mouth and keep driving his D deeper and deeper into my B-hole. He’s pretty much the size and thickness of a baseball bat, so I’m more than happy to feel him tossing it into my dugout, if you know what I mean.

  “Jesus fucking Christ, Percy,” Sammi yells over to me as her tuk tuk pulls alongside ours. “Can you take it up the ass on your own time, please?!”

  Sammi is being a total buzzkill right now. Like, snoooooore.

  Luckily, she’s wedged between Liam and Becks as they try to make out across her lap while Mysti May flashes her tits at tourists from the front seat.

  But surrounding Sammi with fun has totally not made her fun by osmosis. Like, honestly, I don’t even think she’s fucking drunk—boooooo.

  “You’re going to get us arrested, Percy!” Sammi pleads over to me while our tuk tuks race onward, side-by-side.

  “You’re gonna get us arrested!” I slur back at her, grinding ass down on Silver Fox’s man-meat until he’s balls-fuckin’-deep. “Wee-woo-wee-woo, it’s the fun police! Officer Sammi, can I see your badge?”

  “I said one drink.” Sammi cradles her face in her hands while Liam and Becky tongue each other’s face-holes over her back. “One drink! Why couldn’t you guys respect that?”

  “Probably for the same reason Percy couldn’t respect the no shoes, no shirt, no service policy at that expat bar.” Mysti May looks over her shoulder and sticks her tongue out at me.

  I flip her off with both hands while I keep riding my silver stallion with my titties flopping in the Bangkok breeze.

  “Probably for the same reason Mysti May sexually harassed that Thai massage lady,” Becky comes up from air mid-make-out sesh for just long enough to add.

  “Probably for the same reason Becky gave me a hand job for poker chips,” Liam agrees before diving back in, tongue-first.

  “You guys are killing me,” Sammi groans.

  I mean, you know how it is, though, right? First, you’re just casually flashing your nips at your on-again-off-again sugar daddy so he can eat pad thai off your titties at an expat bar.

  Then your maybe-gay BFF is misinterpreting the signals from a pretty Thai masseuse and you’re getting kicked out of a massage parlor.

  Then your other BFF is making her husband spray his sexy British man-seed all over the green felt of a poker table.

  And before you know it, you’re racing through the streets of Bangkok in the back of a tuk tuk with big, fat billionaire dick shoved up your ass while you and your gal pals head to a ladyboy bar.

  Typical Friday night, right?

  So, there I am, swallowing Silver Fox’s peen with my ass and riding it straight to anal O-Town when Sammi breaks out the big guns.

  “One drink at this bar,” she says. “And then we’re going back to the Golden Gun to crash. Okay?”

  “YES! YES! YES!” I scream, gripping the seat in front of me while Silver Fox grunts beneath me.

  “What?” Sammi raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Really? You mean it?”

  I laugh, realizing the mix-up while Silver Fox pumps my ass full of cum.

  “Oh my god, sorry,” I giggle. “I was coming. But like…ugh, fine Sammi. One drink, then we’ll head back.”

  “Thank you,” Sammi says, slumping down in her seat. Probably to avoid getting involved in Liam and Becky’s makeout sesh as it gets even steamier.

  “Yeah, can-do, Sams,” Becky agrees, not even taking her lips off of Liam’s as she answers this time.

  “Do y’all think I could get that massage girl’s number?” Mysti May asks.

  I roll my eyes as I dismount Silver Fox. “Myst, come on, I don’t think she was into you.”

  “Ugh. Fine. But this bar had better be fun.” Mysti May tugs her shirt back down over her beauty queen tits. “I don’t know how I feel about this ladyboy business.”

  “See, Sams? Settled.” As our tuk tuks roll up to the bar, I pull my skirt back down and straddle Silver Fox’s lap. “So, I’m super drunk right now, but I love you,” I tell him. “Totally call me tomorrow so you can remind me that all this really happened.”

  “Promise you’ll answer your phone, then,” he says, dark eyes sparkling as he tugs me down into a passionate kiss.

  “Scout’s honor!” I say, and then I’m pulling my dress up as well as I hoof it out of the tuk tuk.

  My boobs don’t like being caged again, but sometimes, you’ve just gotta put the titties away every now and then.

  I’m just getting ready to push through the gang so I can get to the bar first and turn one drink into like, seven while Sammi isn’t looking…

  But instead of being distracted by managing everyone’s inevitable alcohol poisoning, it looks like Sammi’s attentions are being held by something more sinister.

  “Lock, mate, I know how it sounds,” the slimy voice of Eggbert Humphrey is oozing even over the dulcet tones of Thai Elvis crooning Viva Las Vegas on the jukebox. “But Sammi’s about to be my wife. You know how it is with women—unnnnng. Yeah, baby! Deeper! Deeper!—you’ve gotta get the ring on their finger, a baby in their belly, and then they’ll be too busy for things like science and research trips and complaining about being left at—unf! UNF!—at home.”

  He hasn’t seen Sammi yet, poor bastard—but she sure as hell has seen him.

  In fact, she’s seeing him right now—bent over a bar stool while a ladyboy in a Stedson hat and thigh-high cowboy boots takes him from behind, get along, little doggy-style.

  “That’s fucked, is what that is, Eggsy.” Some big, broad-shouldered Chris Hemsworth-looking fuck is saying back to Sammi’s fiancé. “All this, really—it’s fucked. If you think Sammi will ever settle for that bullshit, you don’t know her at all. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tell her you’re here getting your pipes cleaned by Ladyboy John Wayne here? No offense, ma’am.”

  “None taken,” Ladyboy John Wayne says, not even missing a beat with her thrusting.

  Eggs rolls his eyes, and I hear the sploogy noise of him removing a cock from his ass. “Don’t be dense, Lock. Sammi’s a smart girl, I’ll give her that. But a woman’s place is in the home. Everyone knows that. All of these silly little ambitions, saving the hammerhead and whatnot—they’ll disappear as soon as she says, ‘I do’ tomorrow. Just you watch.”

  I’m fucking drunk, and I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. Or seeing.

  And poor fuckin’ Sams. Sams is having to take all of this in completely sober.

  But, wait—because t
hat shit doesn’t end there.

  Like a smarmy little monologuing villian, Eggs doesn’t seem to know when to stop. The little fucker has his head up his ass, and he’s still managing to shove his foot in his mouth.

  “Which is why I want you, Lock, to take her place on this fucking research trip. I know, I know, it’s supposed to be our honeymoon…but Sammi’s a fucking buzzkill, mate. Just imagine—me, you, my research team…and this sexy sweetheart warming our bunks at night.”

  “Hard pass, Eggs,” Lock says, shaking his head and pushing his beer aside. “This isn’t some boy’s club bullshit that you can pull over Sammi’s eyes when—”

  That’s when it happens. Sammi’s eyes meet Sexier Chris Hemsworth’s, and the cockiest grin I’ve ever fucking seen spreads across his lips.

  “Evening, Miss Brighton,” Lock says with a wink.

  “Lock, don’t fuck with me like that,” Eggs says, getting on his knees, still totally fucking oblivious. “You and I both know my fiancee wouldn’t be caught dead in—”

  “A place like this?” Sammi asks, cool as can be. “Evening, Mr. Williams, Mr. Humphrey. Fancy seeing you boys here.”

  Eggs does the fastest one-eighty I’ve ever seen. He turns around so fast, he nearly gives himself whip-lash—and dick-lash, too, since he turns his head right into Ladyboy John Wayne’s massive schlong.

  “S-Sammi,” Eggs gasps, taking the dick to the face like he was made for it and then promptly falling on his ass. “Wuh…what—”

  “What am I doing here?” she asks, striding forward. “Could ask you the same question.”

  Eggs looks to Ladyboy John Wayne for help, but Ladyboy John Wayne chooses that particular moment to mosey on out.

  “What are you going to do n-now?” Eggs asks.

  It’s a good thing he’s already got his pants around his ankles, because if I were him, I’d be pissing myself right now.

  Sammi just cracks her knuckles and calls out for a bottle of tequila from the bar.

  “You know me, Eggs, honey,” Sammi says darkly. Both of her hands are curled into fists, and right now I’m just wondering if it’s going to be a left hook or a right. “I’m such a buzzkill, remember? So, I think, right now…I’d like to have some fun.”

  Chapter 28

  Sammi

  3:00 PM SATURDAY

  The stench of the Chao Phraya permeates my nostrils as I kick stones along its path. The sun’s reflection, along with an incredible, clear view of Bangkok is glistening in the water.

  The sight is beautiful.

  Unfortunately, my mood is anything but.

  Percy’s story keeps playing over and over in my head, like a terrible earworm that buries its way deep inside of me. Her recollection of everything is so unbelievable and so outlandish that I have no choice but to believe it.

  Percy has never lied to me. Not when it matters. I know her and respect her enough to trust what she tells me.

  And while I don’t remember any of it, her story was so detailed that I have no choice but to take it as the God’s honest truth.

  Fucking tequila.

  My vice is certainly good for causing me a headache.

  And amnesia. Let’s not forget about the blank slate I woke up to.

  How is it that I’ve lived the course of an entire porno-thriller movie plot in the last two days and barely remember even half of it?

  I just don’t even fucking know.

  What I do remember, though, are the vivid details of my encounters with Lock. With flashbacks rolling in all day, I can’t believe how I’ve been acting. It all makes sense now.

  “Sammi! Hey!”

  Lock’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts before I even lay eyes on him.

  The tuk tuk he’s riding in comes to a stop alongside me, and we’re now face to face.

  He’s all smiles at first. One look is enough for him to realize that I’m no longer in the dark about Eggbert. His smile fades into a look of concern.

  He knows that I know.

  “Okay. Get in.” He opens the door. “There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

  I get into the tuk tuk and sit next to him. We’re squeezed into the little vehicle so tightly that our thighs are brushing against each other. It makes for a very uncomfortable start to our trek.

  He gives the driver a location, but I’m too focused on my discomfort and the repeating story in my head to hear his instructions.

  “You knew, didn’t you?” I ask.

  He doesn’t even have to answer that. He was there, according to Percy, and I can see it on his face.

  Looks like the joke’s on me. I’m the only one who’s been out of the loop. And here I was like a fucking moron, feeling guilty about fucking Lock, feeling anxious about marrying Eggbert and completing my perfect, logically sound life.

  “Yeah, I knew,” he answers softly. “I’m glad that you figured it out, though.”

  I look up to find Lock’s eyes searching mine. They’re not telling me ‘I told you so,’ nor is he saying it.

  “Well, then why didn’t you tell me? I mean, it kind of works in your favor, don’t you think?” Considering how long he’s been chasing after me, trying to make me his, it’s so easy to assume he’d be the one to tell me.

  “Seeing you hurt doesn’t work in my favor, darl. You needed to see it for yourself,” he replies.

  He takes a brief pause, searching for the right words. “I don’t condone Egghead’s behavior, not by a long fucking shot, but can you say you’d honestly have believed me if I did tell you?”

  I shake my head slowly. He’s got me there. I’d have taken it as an act of jealousy and totally disregarded him, it’s true.

  “No,” I admit. “Definitely not.”

  “That’s why I thought it best to just keep my mouth shut.”

  “For once, right?”

  He smirks at me and lets out a low chuckle. “You’ve still got some sass. You’ll be alright.”

  I know I will. But that doesn’t exactly stop the hurt that I’m feeling right now in this moment. I feel like I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me.

  The one by my side isn’t Eggbert but Lock. And you know what?

  It feels just right.

  I don’t ever remember feeling this at ease with that two-timing jerk. Either way, Eggbert’s nothing but a man-whore.

  “Besides, you’re a strong, intelligent woman, Sammi. You don’t need him, and you don’t deserve that. I’m glad you found out.”

  “Before I made the biggest mistake of my life, right?” I shrug.

  I’m still lost in my thoughts and idle conversation with Lock when the tuk tuk comes to a stop outside of an aquarium.

  This is where he wanted to take me?

  A little confused, I get out of our ride and follow him inside. He softly takes my hand in his, and I’m not in the mental state to resist.

  What awaits me inside the aquarium is nothing like I would’ve expected.

  The interior is dim, but the construction of the tanks gives off an ethereal experience. I’m in awe as I look around.

  Not only are there sharks swimming around me, they’re swimming over me too. The reflection of the lights glimmers off the glass as I gape.

  Colorful jellyfish are dancing gracefully through the water. They look so beautiful, it’s nearly impossible to believe how painful a sting from one feels.

  We wander through the glass hallways, still holding hands. Lock glances at me from time to time, but he remains silent.

  I’m particularly enthralled when I come upon several stingrays surrounded by blue, red, and silver fish. The mish-mash of colors is entrancing and peaceful all at once.

  I feel at home. I’m in my element.

  Suddenly, it dawns on me that I’m not exactly sure why Lock thought to bring me here.

  “Hey, Lock,” I squeeze his hand a little. “You said you wanted to bring me here, but why? We’re marine biologists. This is nothing we haven’t seen before.”

&nb
sp; “No, it’s not work-related,” he replies. Lock turns to face me and takes my other hand so he’s holding them both and interlaces our fingers.

  “Sammi, this is where we made love the very first time. Three years ago.”

  Three years ago? Here? He must be mistaking me for some other girl.

  I remember being here for a conference, for sure. But having sex here?

  I turn my head around to either side, staring at the aquatic life, squinting hard, trying to process it all.

  But then, I look up to see the hammerheads swimming above us. Like I’m watching it all happen all over again, the memory comes rushing into my head before I can even finish my thoughts.

  Chapter 29

  Sammi

  1:59 AM THREE YEARS AGO

  1One of my heels slips from my foot, falling to the floor with an impossibly loud CLANG that echoes through the silence.

  “Whoops!” I say, trying to hold back my laughter.

  “Shhhhh!” Lock whispers. “You’re gonna get us caught, mate!”

  I laugh louder. “Oh no! Are you scared Mr. Williams?”

  I hear my words slur slightly on his name, making me all too aware that I’ve drank a bit too much tonight.

  From his giggling behind me, though, I’d say he has, as well.

  We’d pretty much have to find ourselves here.

  I feel a gust of cool air brush across my ass and realize my dress has hiked up. Lachlan, the gentleman that he is, clearly didn’t feel the need to mention it.

  I reach back behind me with one hand, trying to pull it down and nearly falling through the window for my efforts.

  “Hey,” Lock chimes in as I barely catch myself. “Why are you trying to ruin my view?”

  I snort laughter, lifting one leg over the window sill.

  Screw it.

  If I’m being honest, I kind of like that he’s checking me out right now.

  My other leg joins the first, dangling down over the linoleum inside. Butterflies manifest in the pit of my stomach. It’s a farther drop than it looked from the outside.

  “This was a terrible idea!” I say over my shoulder as I slip off my other heel.