Suspicions

by Sasha Campbell

  Tonight, I planned to tell Candace something she had a right to know about me. I had tried several times over the weekend, but things had been just too damn perfect to ruin the mood. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I was ready for us to take our relationship to the next level, but if we were ever going to have a real chance together, I had to first keep it real.

  I swung around and was heading to take a seat in front of Octavia’s smelly feet, when I spotted Candace walking into the shop. I stopped and grinned, only she didn’t return the smile. Instead, she gave me an evil look and moved in my direction.

  “Hey, Candy,” Tiffany called out, but Candace dismissed her with an open palm, not once taking her eyes off of me.

  My smile fell from my lips. I didn’t like her body language at all. She moved like a female on a mission.

  “Hey, baby,” I said, hoping it would soften her mood. Only it didn’t work. When she stopped in front of me, her eyes were practically bulging out her head.

  “Are you a . . . a registered sex offender?”

  She might as well have punched me in the chest, because that’s how I suddenly felt. Someone had gotten to her. “I, uhhhh . . . Who told you that?”

  “Answer the got damn question!” she screamed. I kid you not, the entire salon went on pause. Not even a hair dryer was humming. Someone had even turned off the radio.

  “Baby, can we talk about this in private.” I was practically pleading with her. Everyone was looking at us and I was busted not only with my girl, but in front of my coworkers as well.

  Candy’s teeth clenched. Her fists were balled at her sides. “Answer me, dammit!”

  It was clear she had no intention of keeping this situation private. Okay . . . here goes nothing. “Yes, baby, I am. But it’s not what you t—” Before I even had a chance to explain, she punched me in the mouth. And it wasn’t a bitch slap either. She hit me the way a dude would have, and if it had been a dude, right now, he’d been fighting for his life.

  She backed away and it hurt me more to see the look of pain on her face than the throbbing at my bottom lip. “I can’t believe this shit. When were you gonna tell me?”

  “Candace, please . . . I was gonna tell you. I was just waiting for the right time.”

  “Really? And exactly what were you planning to tell me? That I was screwing a convicted rapist!” Her tone was confrontational. I couldn’t believe this was happening. When she said convicted rapist it made me sound like I was dangerous . . . someone who had done something unforgivable. Only I wasn’t that person. She should know that. We spent hours, days, weeks, months getting to know each other. All the time we been together, had that meant nothing to her?

  “Baby, it was a mistake. You gotta believe me.” I was doing something I had never done before, begging, yet I didn’t care.

  “You promised to keep it real with me.” She looked so angry I didn’t know what to say, because nothing would be the right answer. If only I could go back a week or even just the weekend. If only I had been honest with her in the beginning, then none of this would be happening. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded.

  “Yeah, why didn’t you?” mumbled some twig sitting to my right.

  I ignored the questions and shook my head. There was nothing I could say to make this right. Not with all the women in the room shaking their heads and making tsk sounds with their lips. Tongues were gonna be wagging tonight. Octavia even gave me a nasty look before she reached for her shoes and slipped them back on her feet. She just didn’t know it, but she was actually doing me a favor.

  “I didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid that if you knew before you had a chance to get to know me, you wouldn’t have given me a chance.”

  Now her head started moving as her neck twisted and her hands flew to her hips. “So you decided to lie to me instead and pretend you were something you weren’t. I deserved to know the truth!”

  “If I told you, would you have still gone out with me?”

  Her silence told me everything I needed to know. She gave me a look of disgust, then turned on her heels and stormed across the salon and out the door. As soon as the door closed it was like someone had put the needle back down on the record, because everyone was talking at the same time. The only good thing that came out of the situation was Octavia had gotten up and left.

  I glanced over at Tiffany and as soon as our eyes met, she gave me a looked that said she was disappointed. She wasn’t the only one. I was mad at myself because I loved Candace with everything I had. I saw a future with her that I thought would have lasted a long time. If things had continued to be good between us, before the year was out, I had planned to make her my wife. Now the only thing she wanted was for me to bend over so she could kick me in my ass.

  I cleaned up my area and tried to figure out who ratted me out. Don’t let me find out who ran their mouth, because when I do, they were going to have hell to pay for ruining my relationship with my girl. Was it Tameka? Maybe she had gotten to Candace. I stood there draining the foot tub and thought about banging on Tameka’s door and demanding to know why she told. But I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself. I should have been honest with Candace in the first place. Keeping secrets had lost me the best thing to have ever happened to me.

  33

  Candace

  Today had not been my day. Before I could get out the office to find a gun and shoot Chauncey’s ass, my boss called me into her office. Don’t you know that bitch had the nerve to fire me? Not only because of the office-wide e-mail that was sent out, but because Kimbel had filed a complaint and threatened to sue the clinic. That herpes-infected bastard had told on me. I couldn’t be mad at Sylvia, because she was right. There is this thing called the Privacy Act, and I had shared personal information with Tiffany. But truth be told, if I had a chance to do it over, I wouldn’t have changed a thing, except telling my girl about her man sooner.

  Sylvia ordered Brenda to watch me while I packed my stuff, like I was gonna try and steal patient files. I grabbed my things and held my head high as I strolled out the building. I didn’t start crying until I reached the bus stop. It was one thing to lose my job for something I was guilty of, but it was an altogether other thing to find out the man I loved had been convicted of rape. I was a block away from the apartment before I got off the bus, hopped on another, and headed to the salon. I needed to see Chauncey, hoping that what I had found out wasn’t true. Only it was. Even after he was busted, he still hadn’t wanted to tell me the truth. And that hurt like hell.

  I left and caught the bus back home. During the ride, I had to struggle to remain calm. I couldn’t believe Chauncey had tried to make a fool of me when all this time his ass was a got damn rapist. He’d had sex with an underage girl. How in the world could I have been that stupid, letting a perfect stranger around my daughter? There was no telling what had been running through his sick mind. How many times had he told me how pretty Miasha was? I was so close to crying again, I was glad when the bus got within a block of my neighborhood. The driver couldn’t open the doors fast enough. The moment he came to a complete stop, I jumped out my seat and hustled down the street. I had a feeling that after I stormed out the salon, Chauncey was going to head to my place.

  I hurried up to my apartment. Usually I stopped first to get my mail, but not today. I didn’t have time to waste. I opened my door, locked it behind me, and went to my bedroom to get comfortable. And to think I had just bought a brand-new suit last week. You better believe I was taking that sucker back tomorrow, because without a job, I needed every dime I could get. I shrugged out the peach suit and chocolate heels, and put on white capris and a blue shirt, then went into the living room and flopped down on the couch.

  Now what was I going to do? I could barely pay my bills as it was, and now things would only get worse for me. I sat there feeling sorry for myself and contemplating my next move but didn’t have long to think before I heard a knock at the door.

  “Who is it?”
I yelled.

  “Yo, Candace, it’s me. We need to talk.”

  I got up from the couch, walked over to the door, and shouted, “Go away before I call the police. I’m sure they’ll love to hear that a registered sex offender is banging at my door!”

  “Candy, would you please open the door so I can explain,” he begged.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” Ignoring him, I moved into the kitchen, but Chauncey started knocking and shouting my name. I figured if I ignored him long enough he would take his ass home. Unfortunately for me, all my neighbors were at work, so there was no one around to call the police. Finally, it got quiet. Did he leave? Part of me was disappointed that Chauncey was leaving already, while the rest of me was glad he was walking out my life once and for all. I moved over to the window and looked down, waiting to see him walk away from the building and onto the sidewalk, but before he appeared, my phone rang. I waited until the third ring before I reached for it. “Hello?”

  “Candy . . . open the door so we can talk.”

  “Talk?” I paused long enough to move to the door. When I glanced through the peephole, Chauncey was standing on the other side. He had on my favorite pair of shorts and looked so good leaning against the wall with a Bluetooth on his ear. I hated myself for still wanting him. “We have nothing to talk about.”

  “I called your job and Gloria told me you were fired.”

  Ooh, that bitch had a big mouth! “I got fired because of you. Someone sent the link to the sex offender’s Web site to my entire office. Do you know how embarrassing it is to find out my man was convicted of rape?” I hated myself because now I was crying. The last thing I wanted was for this bastard to know how much he hurt me. “I trusted you. We promised to keep it real with each other and you didn’t do that. You lied to me.”

  “I know and I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

  “Yes, you should have.” I dried my eyes and cleared my throat. There was no way I was falling apart, at least not until he had gone down the street somewhere. “But it’s too late now.” I hung up the phone. Did he really think I was going to forgive him? I guess he did because Chauncey started banging on the door until finally I yanked it open. Don’t you know he had the nerve to smile?

  “Baby, let’s go grab a bite to eat and talk.”

  “What the hell could we possibly have to talk about? I don’t know you. All this time I’ve been with a man that I obviously know nothing about.”

  “I’m still the same person you fell in love with.”

  “Who said I’m in love?”

  “You did.”

  It took everything I had to hold the tears back. “I lied. I was caught up in the moment, but I’m definitely not in love. So you listen carefully to what I am about to say ’cause I ain’t gonna say it again. It’s over between us, and if you bother me again, I’m calling the police.”

  I guess he finally realized I was serious, because Chauncey’s shoulders dropped in defeat. “Yeah . . . a’ight.” He then turned and walked away.

  After I closed the door I rushed back to my bedroom and cried my eyes out.

  34

  Noelle

  Shopping at the mall with an infant was no easy task. Thank God for strollers. I was on a mission and I needed Sierra with me to pull it off effectively. Luckily, she was wide awake and enjoying the ride. Whitney dipped off into a maternity store while I headed to the other end of River Oaks Mall to JCPenney. I didn’t tell my best friend the reason for our sudden trip to the mall or what I was about to do because I didn’t want her trying to change my mind, or even worse, instigating the situatio n.

  I headed over to the women’s department and searched the aisle looking for Gina. I had spent the week snooping around Scott’s bedroom and last night I found her phone number tucked inside his Algebra notebook. The little girl who answered the phone told me where Gina worked. One call this morning and I was able to confirm not only the department, but that she came in at one o’clock.

  I searched the entire section of the store and was about to ask a sales associate for assistance when I spotted Gina over near the swimsuits. She was a little heavier than I remembered, yet still wore thick glasses and her hair up in a ponytail.

  “Hey, Gina,” I said, and pulled the stroller up beside her.

  She looked at me like a deer in headlights before a slow smile curled her lips. “Hello. Mrs. Gordon, right?”

  I nodded. “That’s right. How have you been?”

  Her eyes traveled down toward the stroller, where they lingered for several moments before she met my eyes again. “I’ve been good. Can’t complain.”

  I looked down at Sierra and smiled. “This is Scott’s daughter, Sierra.”

  “Really?” Her eyes traveled nervously to her left and right.

  “Yes, she is.” I gave her a hard look. And as shy as she was, her eyes dropped to the string bikini in her hand.

  “How is Scott doing?” I didn’t miss the bitterness in her voice.

  “He’s doing okay, considering the excitement of discovering he’s a father. Someone came over and left this little girl on my porch.”

  Her brow rose from beneath her glasses. “Really?” She still refused to look me directly in the eyes, but then she never could before. It was hard to tell if she was hiding something or just plain shy.

  “I heard you had a baby, too.”

  In a blink of the eye I swore she practically jumped out of her skin. Her bottom lip quivered. “Who told you that?”

  “To be honest, I saw you in the mall several months ago.” By the way she was acting, it was the only way to get her to realize I knew the truth.

  “Oh . . . yeah, I did. Well, nice talking to you, but I’ve gotta get back to work.” She then turned and walked over to the next rack.

  No she didn’t just dismiss me. I followed her.

  “What did you have? A boy or girl?”

  There was a long pause. “A girl.”

  I leaned against the stroller. “A girl? Wow. I would love to see a picture.”

  For the first time, her gaze hardened. “I don’t have any with me.”

  “That’s too bad. I figure her to be about Sierra’s age.”

  Gina’s lower lip quivered again, and she reached up and wiped the corner of her eye. Was she crying? “Yeah, she’s only a couple of months old.” She turned her back to me and pretended to be working.

  “Are you and the father still together?”

  She swung around. “No, I’m not. Listen . . . I really need to get back to work.”

  “Okay, okay . . . Gina, I’m going to be honest. The reason why I am here is because I wanted to know if you are Sierra’s mama?”

  “Me?” She looked from me to the baby and looked dumbfounded.

  “You did have a little girl.”

  “Yes, but after her father refused to claim her, I gave her up for adoption.” Her voice cracked.

  “I’m sorry.” I hated to ask the next question, but I had to. “Scott wasn’t the father, was he?” I tried to be as gentle as I could, but I had to know.

  “What?” She started laughing. “No way. How should I put this . . . I wasn’t Scott’s type.”

  By looking at that mustache she was growing over her top lip, that much was a given. “True, I will agree with that, but that doesn’t mean, well, you know . . .”

  “Oh, I know quite well what you mean. You wanna know if we slept together? Yes, we slept together. Your son made me think he really liked me and that we had a chance of being together. But all he was doing was using me so I could help him keep from flunking math.”

  It was my son who treated her bad, yet I was the one who felt ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I. What was the worse was that instead of just telling me it was over, he decided to rub his new relationship in my face.”

  “I hate to say this, but he dates a lot of girls.”

  “Girls?” she barked. “When I said I wasn’t his type, I meant he
likes older, mature women who have the financial means to take care of him. He rarely ever dated anyone his age for long. Serious, what high-school student could buy him a car?”

  The more she talked the more I listened, and what she said made perfectly good sense. How come I never thought about that before? The clothes, money, expensive gifts, and the car, a high-school student couldn’t have done those things unless she had money.

  “Scott hurt me, but part of it was my fault. I shouldn’t have followed him to that motel, but I had to know who it was he was seeing. I sat in the parking lot and waited ten minutes after he had gone inside the room before I found the guts to get out the car and go knock on the door. Only he didn’t answer the door. Some cougar did.”

  “Cougar?”

  She gave an impatient sigh.“Older women who like younger men. She was standing there in this skimpy negligee and all I could do was think how beautiful she was. At that moment, I knew I never had a chance with your son. Scott moved over to the door in his boxers, grinning and apologizing at the same time. Then he lowered his head and stuck his tongue down that woman’s throat. All I could do was walk away.” She wiped her eyes and sniffled a few times.

  “What did this female look like?”

  Something behind me caught Gina’s eye, then she frowned and pointed. “She looks just like that woman coming this way.”

  I snapped my head around and spotted Whitney walking toward me.

  “Hey, I’ve been looking all over the . . .” her voice trailed off the second she spotted Gina standing next to me.

  Anger boiled inside and I had to stop and take several deep breaths just so I could get the words out. “Please . . . tell me she’s lying . . . about you sleeping . . . with Scott.”