A Whole Lotta Love

by Sahara Kelly

Free—and yet, not free.

  In spite of the surroundings, in spite of the people, Lissa had known deep inside that she didn’t want any of it. She didn’t want to have sex with women, groups, other men or toys.

  She wanted Steve. Only Steve. And that thought scared the living crap out of her. Especially when she realized that finally having sex with Steve had been what she wanted all along. The only thing. She wanted his body. His cock inside her, his tongue on her, his mouth, his hands, all of him.

  He made her laugh, made her mad, drove her up the wall with lust and let her do whatever she wanted with him and to him, giving her back all that and more.

  This was frightening shit.

  She dried off and stumbled from the little bathroom to the bed. Steve was half-stripped, sprawled over the covers and snoring quietly.

  She slipped in beside him only to be cuddled up by a strong arm. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” His voice was gruff and sleepy.

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  Lissa snuggled against him, her head finding just the right spot within his embrace. There was an odd sense of familiarity, comfort…of being in the exact place she was supposed to be.

  She fell asleep trying to figure out why she felt that way and if she should be panicking about it.

  It felt like only moments later when a chirp from her bag awoke her.

  Steve’s eyes slowly opened like after a long night of serious drinking. With a nostril flare and a groan, he pulled a pillow over his head. “Shoot that fucking bird, will you?” He mumbled something about a shotgun and rolled himself into the blankets.

  “It’s not a bird, it’s a text. The cellphone gods must have granted access to this part of the country for once.” Lissa reached for her purse and pulled it to her, finding the device with difficulty. Her fingers seemed numb this morning.

  She pushed buttons, cursed and finally managed to read the message. Oh, fucking hell.

  ~~~~~

  “Steve?” She poked her finger hard into his shoulder.

  He had died from sexual exhaustion in the night.

  “That was the mechanic. My car’s fixed.”

  “Mmmpf.” Alive! It’s alive!

  So he had to move. Haul his head out of sleep and make his muscles work somehow when all they wanted to do was nap for about a week. He yawned and stretched. He tossed his big feet off the bed and sat upright.

  “My car. It’s fixed.”

  “Mmmpf, peanut butter, mmmpf.” His mouth was working. So how come his brain wasn’t?

  A blast of cold air helped the process along. Lissa had gotten out of bed and turned back the covers. “Wake up, Steve.”

  “Ten more minutes…” He fell back onto the bed with a thump and pulled the pillow over his head again, only to have the covers pulled completely off him. “Hey—”

  “Look, sleep on if you want. But I gotta go get dressed. The guy from the garage is swinging by here to pick me up. He’ll give me a ride to my car.” She tickled his feet. “You getting this?”

  “Cut it out.” Steve yanked his feet free of the annoying fingers. “Yeah. I got it. But I can drive you…”

  She moved away from the bed. “No need. I guess he tried to get us last night but either we had no signal or we were…er…busy.”

  Finally, Steve woke up. “I’d say so.” Busy fucking our brains out. He rose up on one arm and watched her slip into her clothes as he scratched his nuts. “Lissa, about last night…”

  She smiled at him. “It was fun, wasn’t it? A helluva time.”

  “Uh, yeah…”

  “And I didn’t even tell you about Randy, Stan and Roger.”

  “Huh?” His cock lost interest in the proceedings and went back to sleep.

  “Three of the sweetest guys. I met them in the conservatory…oh, Steve, they shared so much with me.”

  “Three guys? At once?” Steve’s jaw dropped.

  “Yeah. God, they were all gorgeous, too.” She tugged on her shoes. “Each one different, but so nice, you know?”

  “No.” Steve didn’t know. Didn’t know what she was talking about, what she meant and was struggling with the idea that Lissa had done it with three guys before she’d fucked him. He counted his fingers and got a strange taste in his mouth.

  “Well, being a guy, I guess you wouldn’t really see them as gorgeous.” She giggled. “They’d probably think you were pretty cute, though.”

  He closed his eyes and toppled back onto the bed. “For some reason I suddenly feel ill. You mean they were gay?”

  Lissa paused as she shoved her arms into her coat. “Well, yeah. Of course. What did you think I was talking about?”

  “Uhh, nothing.” Steve tried covering up his obvious pornographic thoughts.

  A horn sounded outside. “Oh, shit, there’s my ride.” She grabbed her purse.

  “Lissa, I can…”

  “Rest, Steve. You need it.” She danced over to the bed and dropped a quick kiss on his nose. “I’ll be back soon. With my own car, too, if the gods of spark plugs are willing.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I’ll bring coffee.”

  And then she was gone.

  And the trailer was suddenly empty—emptier than Steve could ever remember it being.

  ~~~~~

  Time dragged. It scuffed its feet, dawdled and slowed to a crawl.

  Steve showered and dressed and actually did some chores, only to find less than an hour had passed. He looked at the clock every five minutes and discovered a tendency to peer out the windows on a regular basis, like an anxious mother waiting for her kid to come home from school.

  He also got mad at himself for doing it.

  “This is fucking stupid. Might as well do something useful.” He grabbed a couple of cloths, some paper towels and his jacket.

  It had been a while since he’d checked the truck’s engine, and since he had nothing better to do…

  The engine was fine. The fluid levels were exactly where they were supposed to be, oil right on the line, radiator full, transmission fluid quite happy thank you, and Steve wondered if he should check the tire pressure while he was at it, and maybe wash and wax the damn thing. At this rate he could bake a cake and add little sprinkles. He was getting more than a little pissed off. He topped off the windshield washer container, cleaned off the wiper blades and fussed.

  There was no other way to describe it—he fussed. And got angrier with himself by the minute. Where the fuck was she? His thoughts began to swirl like a tornado.

  It was a relief to hear a car pull up behind him and he turned, words of greeting on his lips.

  They stuttered to a stop as Jennifer got out of a sleek sports car and walked towards him. Some sort of furry jacket was half-unzipped, her jeans fit her like a coat of paint and the breasts that oozed from the opening of her coat gleamed in the morning sunshine.

  “Hey, Steve.” She smiled. “I just passed Lissa with a real good-looking guy. What was all that about?”

  He wiped his hands. “She’s just going to pick up—a nice-looking guy?”

  Jennifer laughed, white teeth shining beneath red lips. “Why does she have to go pick up a good-looking guy?” She neared the truck and leaned against the door. “She’s got one right here.”

  As she crossed her arms, the valley between her breasts deepened, and Steve’s gaze fell to the curves and shadows revealed by her pose. “Uh…that must be her mechanic.”

  “Lucky her. He could check my carburetor any day.” She glanced at the truck. “Nice. V-6 or V-8? I bet you’ve got a hemi, too, right?”

  Steve blinked. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” He puffed out his chest in a show of true masculinity and automotive pride.

  Jennifer ran her tongue over her lips and looked down at his crotch. “Baby, I know you do. I was talking about the truck.”

  Something about her unabashed sexuality made Steve uncomfortable and he blushed, surprising himself. “I knew that.”

  “Show me?”

  “Huh?”
/>
  “The engine. Show me.” Jennifer walked to the front of the truck and leaned on the grille. “I want to see.”

  Shaking his head, Steve popped the hood and lifted it. “Okay. Here you go.” Like she’s gonna know anything about it.

  “Wow. Nice V-8. You have any trouble with this ignition system?” She pointed at the appropriate unit. “I’ve heard tales…”

  For the next fifteen minutes, Steve lived one of the most surreal experiences of his life. He talked truck engines with a sexily dressed, curvy blonde. Who knew her shit. If she could do tune-ups on the fuel injection system, he would be tempted to ask her to marry him. When they got to fuel ratios, he stopped. “Jennifer, what are you doing here?”

  “Impressing you with my automotive knowledge?”

  “Yeah. You did that. But…why did you come here?”

  She tugged on her lip. “Honestly? I wasn’t coming here. I was heading into town to pick up a few things, and I saw Lissa leave. I figured, here you are…all alone. She’s gone…why not drop by and say hello?” A little white lie put her exactly where she wanted to be, alone with Steve.

  Steve watched her face as the expressions crossed it, wondering what the point of all this was going to be.

  “Look, Jennifer…”

  She moved, coming to stand close to him, her perfume swirling around his nostrils like a soft cloud. “Steve. I saw you and Lissa last night. And…and I envied you. Both of you.”

  She sighed and leaned against him, a furry heat. With breasts.

  Steve gulped. “Oh.”

  “I envied what you had, what you did together.”

  “But…hell, Jennifer. That party? You’ve got it all. Whatever you want.” Steve was confused, dizzy from her scent and the warmth that pressed into his chest.

  “No, I really don’t. Oh, I had the fun, sure. I had the sex. I got fucked.” She paused. “Several times, actually.”

  “There you go.” He patted her shoulder awkwardly.

  “But what I wanted was what you two had. And…and I figured I might as well come over and see if I could work out exactly what it was.”

  She pulled away from him a little, looking up into his face.

  He stared back at her, wondering what the hell she was talking about. Jennifer’s face was bare of makeup, but she was still lovely, her hair a soft tumble against her white skin. She was a woman any man would desire, any man would want screaming out his name beneath him as he fucked her.

  Any man but him.

  And it looked as though she realized it. “You know, I asked you last night if you and Lissa were a couple. An exclusive couple.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

  “And you told me you didn’t know. That I should ask her.”

  He nodded again.

  She stepped reluctantly away from him, back towards her car. “I don’t have to, Steve.”

  “Huh?”

  “Your answer is written all over your face.” She rested a hand on her door. “You’re exclusive. Very exclusive. In fact, you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

  “No, I…we…that’s not what we’re about…”

  Jennifer’s lips curved in a wry smile as she got into the car. “You’re fooling yourself, Steve. Better face facts, darling. Much as it pains me to admit it, you two are meant for each other. I hope she knows what a great guy she’s got.”

  Steve was at a loss for words.

  “I hope we’ll meet again. You know my address. Tell Lissa I said hello…and I probably ought to hate her.” She started the engine and rolled down the window. “But I don’t. She’s cute.”

  The sporty car rolled away leaving Steve standing next to his truck wondering if he’d just been hit by one as well.

  Looking down at his other brain between his legs, he asked, “What the fuck was all that about?”

  Love? That’s a four-letter word. Nobody had mentioned the “L” word. It was forbidden, especially to him and Lissa. They’d set the rules up front. Sex, and plenty of it. No strings, no ties and no limits.

  They fucked, slept, played and fucked some more. They ate when they were hungry and drank coffee in the mornings.

  No. He was absolutely not in love with Lissa. Love was for idiots who had no idea of the pain it could cause or the chaos it could bring to a straightforward life. Love had gotten him into one hell of a shit hole, and he was damned if he’d go down that road again.

  He picked up his cleaning rags and closed up the truck.

  No, he was so not in love with Lissa. She was one super-hot fuck, and he enjoyed her company. That was all there was to it.

  And, speaking of Lissa, where the fuck was she?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cool, I have to remain cool. Mellow, like a confident man. Why am I talking to myself again?

  A grinding of tires in the gravel beside his truck shook Steve from his altered mindset—that and the giggling of a woman. His woman.

  Calm, stay calm. He focused on staying calm. Opening the door he stepped out and saw a very clean, shiny black 1969 Chevy Camaro. Whoa! Now this is nice. Steve admired the classic cars.

  “Hey dude, nice rig you’ve got here.”

  That wasn’t Lissa’s voice. He turned to see a young, handsome, blond-haired man smiling back at him. He reminded Steve of one of those jeans billboard models. Except this one was driving his woman around in his souped-up hot rod.

  “Steve, this is Victor. He gave me a ride in to pick up my car. There was a thingamajig missing so they ordered it, and it should be in tomorrow morning if we’re lucky.” Lissa giddily stared at Victor like a cheerleader at the quarterback for the homecoming game.

  Victor reached out his hand for a handshake.

  Steve was torn between ripping him into tiny pieces to feed the local coyotes and driving him under the wheels of his truck. “Nice to meet you.”

  “I’d better get going, Lissa. Tony’s going to wonder why I took so long to get back.” Victor’s smile was a killer and sure would melt the heart of many a young woman, not to mention their panties from their bodies.

  I could kill him, no remorse, just a quick, painful death by bleeding. I could drag him behind my truck, down the highway…over some gravel…some cactus bushes…over sharp rocks… Steve wasn’t amused by Lissa’s dreamy smile.

  “Nice meeting you, Steve. I’ll be back around nine in the morning to pick you up, Lissa.” With a wave and rev of his car motor, he sped off. Lissa waved back and turned to see what Steve knew was probably a pretty dark glare.

  “Bye, Victor…see you tomorrow.” Steve wrinkled his nose and fluttered his hand in a spiteful attempt at mimicry. “Fucking punk kid.” It came out as a growl.

  Lissa watched him with an odd expression on her face. Almost as if she was pleased. “Could someone be jealous of Victor?”

  Turning back to her, Steve held a hand to his chest. “Moi? Jealous of a kid?”

  Steve couldn’t show this side of his feelings. The things Jennifer had said couldn’t be true. He wouldn’t allow these emotions to creep in even if they were bubbling beneath the surface of his tough exterior. He could hide them, squash the self-doubt. Ignore the little voice that said he might just be scared that a woman he cared about was attracted to a younger, handsome man. Especially one with a custom, pussy-enticing car like Victor’s.

  “I can’t believe this. You were…what did you think? That I was going to town to pick up my car and fuck that sexy guy?”

  “Sexy? Now he’s sexy?” Uh-oh, I’m beginning to boil over a bit.

  “Come on, Steve. I didn’t think you were the type to get jealous. He was a kid giving me a ride.”

  “I bet he wanted to give you a ride in more than just his car. I’m a guy, I know how men think.”

  Lissa didn’t seem to understand that everything she said was a taunt. “Steve, relax. Just because some stud gives me a ride, it doesn’t…”

  “Now he’s a stud?” His body became tight. Muscles flexed and
his blood heated in his veins. The one thing he couldn’t bear was happening. He began to understand Jennifer’s observation and her comments began to make sense. He wanted Lissa, badly. His heart ached to say what he knew needed to be said.

  “I won’t go through this again. The mistrust, the worry, all the fucking issues flipping through my head.” Steve’s rage grew, fueled by the emotions he’d shut down to hide from pain like this. And yet the hurt was there all over again.

  For the first time with Steve, Lissa discovered something. She wanted him more now than ever. They had connected emotionally, and his show of jealousy thrilled her, making her hotter than the embers of a fire. He cared.

  Lissa followed him along the corridor of the trailer. “What do you think happened? Do you think I fucked that guy? Is that it? Trust…you need to trust me, Steve. We can’t have a relationship without trust…” She grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face her.

  Looking into his eyes, Lissa sensed his pain and saw the agony welling deep inside. She wanted him so bad, she ached between her legs. He was showing her his true emotions, something she’d discovered she longed for, and the hint of a tear in his eyes opened her heart so wide she wondered if she could envelop him with it.

  Steve turned away as if ashamed by his drama and outburst.

  He took a few more steps then stopped. Lissa watched him as he turned to her once more. She read conflicting emotions, different expressions as they chased themselves across his face. Fear, pain, jealousy—they were all there. His pulse throbbed at the base of his neck and he reached out for the wall, steadying himself as if he was weak at the knees.

  Lissa was torn by her feelings and her fear. He’d touched something that she, too, had buried deep. His eyes were digging it loose and every fiber of her soul wanted to run. She couldn’t let Steve in. Not this man, this stranger, this absolutely right person at the wrong time.

  Then he kissed her and she broke. Lissa was being crushed against the wall of the trailer as Steve pushed his wide frame into her. His kiss was hard, wet and deep. She was doomed.

  Peeling away, Steve slumped and rested his forehead on Lissa’s shoulder. His breath was hot, bursting against her skin like fire.