Murder Machine and the Catastrophic Athletic Festival

by Mizuki Mizushiro

  “……That’s right.”

  “This time I’m gonna eat ’em… I’ll bite off a bit for you!”

  “Let’s turn them all into patties!”

  “Oh, these guys? They’re nothing but chaff. That girl with red hair is going to yawn soon, like, ‘…Fwah.’ Seizing that opportunity, I’ll craaack her skinny waist over my knee.”

  “…………”

  As the other runners were psyching themselves up, Eiri was silent, arms folded, eyes closed.

  The male student in a happi coat was at his wits’ end. “Yawn already!”

  Finally, they were instructed to take their starting positions, and Eiri opened her eyes. They were sharp and filled with a new light. And then—

  Bang!

  The instant that the starting signal sounded, Eiri’s body disappeared.

  “……?!”

  Gosou’s and Kuroki’s batons struck in vain, hitting an empty dust cloud, as they staggered off the starting line. Eiri had already flown off alone and was approaching the first turn.

  “What the hell?! Sh-she’s fast—”

  “……Too fast, huh!”

  As Gosou and Kuroki stood marveling at Eiri, the remaining three contestants took off. There was Chihiro, who ran along the inside of the track, drool fluttering from her lips, and—

  “Luu. Luu. Laaa. ”

  —Ronaldo, attacking from the outside of the track.

  “How to defeat a cannibal clown? It’s simple! First, snatch the afro right off—”

  “Ronaldo magic hunt. ”

  “Whaaat?!”

  Takei tried to attack the clown from the far side, but Ronaldo dodged the attack using his strange technique. The next moment, he moved fast enough to leave a trailing afterimage and appeared not in Takei’s path but in Chihiro’s. He cheered as he spun.

  “Luu. Luu—”

  “Nom.”

  “Laaaaaa?!”

  Chihiro bit down on the nape of Ronaldo’s neck, interrupting his roundhouse kick. Then, with all the strength in her neck and jaw, she bit off a big chunk of meat. Ronaldo collapsed, blood gushing from his neck.

  “Wah?! Stupid roadblock—whoooa?!” Gosou, who had been right behind Ronaldo, tripped over his body and went sprawling.

  Jumping over Gosou and Ronaldo, Kuroki overtook Chihiro, who was eating her meat as she ran. “…Lacking in flavor. But the texture’s not bad…nom-nom.” Slipping past Takei’s attack, Kuroki sprung into second place. On the other hand, Eiri was—

  “So faaast, what is her deal?! First-year Class A suddenly has a huge lead! She’s nearly half a lap ahead?! Third-year Class B is desperately chasing her but can’t close the gap! What the hell is with that speed?! Don’t tell me that amateur’s been holding back all this time… Actually, that would be just like her.”

  “I don’t understand? She did nothing but yawn before.”

  While the broadcasting continued, Eiri rounded the fourth turn and came back to the start. Kuroki, in second place, had just passed the hundred-meter mark, and the last-place team was finally coming around the second turn.

  “Y-you…first yeaaar! B-bad…this is bad, too bad… If this keeps up…Saki will kill me—”

  “What are you dawdling for, Miss Gosou?!” Shamaya yelled, lividly waiting for her turn to race. “Do you want me to beat you within an inch of your life yet again?!”

  Gosou was being chased down by Ronaldo, who held his bleeding neck as he ran. “Hyoe?!” She panicked, tripped, and toppled over, her feet tangled up on themselves.

  From the cheering section for third-year Class A came a chorus of loud booing: “Die!”

  “Oh, dear me, that poor upperclassman…” Maina felt as if she was watching her own future in Gosou’s tragedy.

  Beside her, Eiri passed the baton to Shinji. “Here, Shinji the Super Creep! Don’t you dare get caught, no matter what it takes!!”

  “Yes, of course. I shall pull even farther ahead!”

  Shinji, the second runner for first-year Class A, bounded away enthusiastically. He hadn’t put up much of a showing before, but his speed (at running away) was impressive.

  “If I play an important role in our victory, I ought to get more popular with the girls! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!” Running splendidly, spurred on by his questionable ulterior motive, Shinji widened the gap between first and second place.

  “Ah…aaah…” Bouncing eagerly on the start line, Amon Abashiri, from third-year Class B, received the baton from Kuroki, in second place.

  “Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh!” Instantly, Abashiri screamed. Shoving the baton into his belt, he dropped to all fours. “Your faaaaaaaaaaaace! Give it to meeeeeeeee, give me your faaaaaaaaaaaace!” With tremendous speed, he started the chase.

  “Eeek?!” Unable to help himself, Shinji looked back at his hideous pursuer, and his delicate features twisted into a frightful grimace.

  Faceless Amon Abashiri. When his face was destroyed by burns, he had gained a strange and tenacious fixation. Whenever he saw a beautiful face—especially on a handsome boy his age—he was overcome by the desire to tear it off and seemed to lose all control.

  The distance between the two, which had been nearly half a lap, gradually closed… And that wasn’t all.

  “Here I gooo, okaaay!”

  Taking the baton from Chihiro, Bob, living up to her superhuman potential, began to quickly shorten the distance to other runners.

  “Gbuh?! S-Saki…stop…gahh?! S-sorry…gehh?! Forgive…gueh?! P-please forgive…buhh?! Please forgive meeeeee?!” Gosou, who had finished handing over her baton in last place, had become Shamaya’s punching bag.

  Fearing the wrath of the Murder Princess, the other runners desperately picked up the pace and left Gosou where she had fallen in the dust.

  “The deranged Abashiri Amon from third-year Class B and the flour-sack girl from first-year Class B are roaring ahead even as they try to take each other out! Will first-year Class A be able to escape?! This has gotten interesting, yeeeah!”

  “Oh dear, oh gosh…oh no, oh…” Watching the race come to a climax, Maina was growing more and more nervous as she awaited her turn. She shivered and trembled violently, eyes darting back and forth.

  Waiting with her on the start line was—

  “…………”

  Of all people, it was Renji Hikawa. The monster wearing the ivory-white gas mask radiated an overwhelmingly frightful presence as he stood there stoically.

  “Maina!”

  Shinji had made it back to the start. Though terrified by the threat of Abashiri, he had neither wavered nor slowed down, and Bob had helped him out with a surprise attack against his pursuer. When he handed over the baton, first-year Class A was still in the lead.

  “You take it from here!”

  “Eeek?!”

  Maina gripped the baton with a trembling hand and ran off, her feet slapping against the track.

  “Do your best, Maina! Come oooooon!”

  “Mainaaaaaa! Make the most of the head start they gave you—”

  “Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!”

  “Gyah?!”

  Passing off his own baton, Abashiri leaped at Shinji, clawing at his face as he pushed him to the ground. Moments later, Bob also passed her baton forward to Renji—

  The monster awakened.

  “…………!”

  His legs, wrapped in thick, sinewy muscle, pushed against the ground like firing pistons, and he instantly accelerated. With explosive leg strength, he rapidly overtook the male student from third-year Class B.

  “Ee, ee, eeeeee!”

  Renji steadily closed in on Maina, who was still running in first place.

  “Hwaaah?!” Noticing Renji’s pursuit, Maina’s eyes went wide, and in her panic she tried to run even faster.

  —Her fear proved fatal.

  “““Ah?!”””

  As she passed the second turn and entered the straightaway, Maina’s feet slipped, and she lost her balance.

  Since
Renji was still about twenty meters behind, if she fell here, no one would get caught up in the disaster—it would be nothing but an ordinary tragedy. Their lead would close, and Kyousuke and the others in first-year Class A would fall from their first-place position…

  “Ah—” Despair welled up in Maina’s eyes. Time seemed to pass extremely slowly as everyone looked on in anguish. Maina bit her lip.

  “Whoooaaa?!”

  As expected, Maina fell down. Tumbling loudly across the ground, she screamed as a cloud of dust billowed up around her.

  “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”

  Still moving with the momentum of her fall, Maina rolled forward and came up on her feet in a defensive pose. Immediately, she started running again, like nothing had even happened.

  “““Huh?!”””

  The gallery was astonished at Maina’s truly unexpected recovery.

  Her whole body was now covered in dust, but despite her fall, Maina put all her might into pumping her arms and legs. Her flax-colored eyes burned with the powerful light of her intense focus.

  “Ohh, that’s great, Igarashi! Keep it up! Don’t get caught!!”

  “Come on, Crafty Cat, that’s it! Come oooooon!”

  “Go for it, clumsy girl! Don’t lose, clumsy girl! Go, go, goooooo!”

  “““Go for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”””

  “Haah, okaaaaaay!”

  As her classmates cheered her on, Maina accelerated. Trying to stay ahead of Renji, who was rapidly drawing nearer, she went into a trance and ran at full speed. Fifteen meters, fourteen meters, thirteen meters… The distance between the two gradually closed…

  “Maina!”

  With just five meters separating her from Renji, Maina made it back to the starting line, where Kyousuke waited with an outstretched hand. Maina’s face relaxed, her desperate effort almost at an end—

  “Kyo-Kyousuke…!”

  His grip closed around the tip of the baton—

  “Aiii?!”

  Before she could finish the handoff, Maina tripped over her own feet. The baton sailed through the air as she stumbled and fell.

  “Whooooooaaa?!”

  “Crafty Cat?!” “Clumsy girl?!” “I’ll kill yooouuu!”

  “Shit—”

  Renji was right on top of them now. Kyousuke frantically scrambled to pick up the baton that had slipped from Maina’s hands—

  “Oh no, sorry! My foot slipped!”

  “Guh?!”

  Renko, who was also the fourth runner for her team, took her baton from Renji and immediately smashed the tip of her foot into Kyousuke’s chin, sending him sprawling. She looked down at him and laughed through her gas mask, “Kksshh.”

  “R-Renko—”

  …Why?

  Renko quickly ran off, leaving Kyousuke behind in a daze. Surpassing first-year Class A, which had fumbled the baton pass, her class jumped from second place to first.

  “So, so-so-so-so—sowwy! Kyousuke, hurry!” Maina thrust out the recovered baton and urged Kyousuke forward.

  “……?! O-oh!” Regaining his senses, Kyousuke took the baton—for sure, this time—and started running. Renko had only just entered the first turn. At this distance, he could catch her soon—

  “Justice!”

  Suddenly sensing danger behind him, Kyousuke promptly jumped to the side. A black baton grazed his cheek.

  “Prepare yourself, Kyousuke Kamiya! You shall be judged in accordance with the laws of absolute justice!”

  “Geh?!” Kyousuke dodged a sudden stun gun attack and countered with a backhand blow. “Takaya… Kiriu…!”

  “Ha-ha! Justice will not rest until it knows victory!”

  Evading Kyousuke’s punch, Kiriu smiled and opened his narrow eyes wide. Tightly grasping a stun gun in his right hand and a steel baton in his left, Under Oath came after him.

  Kyousuke staved off Kiriu’s fierce attacks as he ran. “Damn it, don’t get in my way! Persistent bastard!”

  The baton was trouble, but Kyousuke was really worried about the stun gun. He didn’t know what voltage it was set on, but if it connected, it would probably be all over for him. Better to take him on directly than continue running away, Kyousuke decided. He turned to confront Kiriu.

  “Heh-heh… Seems fun, upperclassman! I also want to get in on this!”

  A male student in a pink jumpsuit and skull scarf chased them in pursuit, hot on their heels, clutching a deadly shamshir sword. Leaning forward, he closed the distance between them, so close to the ground that it looked almost as if he was crawling.

  “So shall I hunt you down?” He swung the shamshir. Its blade grazed the top of Kyousuke’s shoulder.

  “Just a… Why is there a Ripper Jack here?!”

  “Yo, I’m the oldest brother, Takamoto. I’m going to take your limbs and head back to my younger brothers as souvenirs.”

  “Tch—” Just as Kyousuke narrowly avoided being cleaved in two by Takamoto’s relentless attacks—

  “Justice!”

  —Kiriu attacked again with the stun gun.

  Crack!

  A flash burst in the corner of Kyousuke’s vision. “Mr. Kiriu, are you joking? You call that justice?! Only going after me—”

  “There’s no use in arguing about it! After I take you down, I’ll shoot Takamoto, too!”

  “You’re first, Kamiya Kyousuke… I’m much obliged to your little sister, hmm?”

  Kiriu waved his baton and stun gun, while Takamoto flashed his shamshir. Rather than attack one another, they cooperated, launching a concentrated assault on Kyousuke alone.

  Kyousuke grew flustered as the distance between him and Renko grew.

  “Aaalll rrriiight!! Two upperclassmen are attacking first-year Class A’s Kyousuke Kamiya from either side! Are they planning to cut off his escape and utterly destroy himmmmmm?! Even Kamiya can’t withstand this! And first-year Class B is taking this chance to gain some distance on all the others! Meanwhile, trailing behind, second-year Class B is also—ah?!”

  Kyousuke didn’t even notice the broadcast interruption. He had steeled himself for a painful battle and was pouring all of his strength into his legs, hoping to break through the encirclement and get some space.

  “Get out of the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!”

  Shamaya, who had taken the baton from her team’s third runner, assaulted a male student in a happi coat who was about to join the group beating. Crushing his head with her hatchet, she headed straight for Kyousuke and the others.

  “I’ll back you up, Kiriu!”

  “Oh, Committee Chair! Thank yo—gugha?!”

  Shamaya struck the back of Kiriu’s head with the hatchet.

  “Wha—?!”

  Kyousuke and Takamoto turned to look.

  Shamaya smiled sweetly as she kicked Kiriu’s bloody body off to the side. “Well, I may not have been entirely honest…”

  “Foul play!”

  “Silence!” Shamaya shouted, swinging the hatchet. She launched her second attack, faster than the eye could see, at Takamoto.

  “Guh?!”

  The dark metal blade clashed with the baton.

  “M-Miss Shamaya……”

  “Kyousuke darling.” Emerald-colored eyes turned toward Kyousuke, then fixed on the track ahead. Go on.

  Her rose-colored lips mouthed silent words, out of sight of the others.

  Takamoto, locked in battle with Shamaya, opened his eyes wide. “Public Morals Committee Chair, are you really…?!”

  She was putting Kyousuke’s life above her class’s victory in the athletic festival. To see her act like this now…

  “Thank you very much, Miss Shamaya,” Kyousuke mumbled quietly.

  “Aaalll riiight!! Third-year Class A’s Saki Shamaya has just butchered third-year Class B’s Takaya Kiriu and is attacking second-year Class A’s Takamoto Yatsuzaki! Seizing the opportunity, first-year Class A’s Kyousuke Kamiya is making his escape! He’s started
running with incredible vigoooooor!”

  “Renko of first-year Class B is not in a position to waste her lead.”

  Waving at the MC booth, Renko looked flustered. “Uahh?!”

  Pouring all of his remaining strength into his legs, Kyousuke ran as fast as he could. In his mind, he recalled the scoreboard—the difference between Kyousuke’s class and Shamaya’s third-year class was eleven points. Even if he reached the goal in second place, if Shamaya finished in third, his class would lose by one point.

  Even Shamaya wouldn’t openly throw the match for him. In that case, only one path to victory remained for Kyousuke and his class: overtake Renko and finish in first place.

  “Big brotheeeeeer, come oooooon!”

  “Yaaay, Kyousukeeeeee! Get us into the Knock-Down Brawl!”

  “I won’t forgive you if you came this far just to lose, Kamiya! Show us you’re a man!”

  “Hyah-haaa! Victory is ours!”

  “““Ka-mi-ya! Ka-mi-ya!”””

  Kyousuke ran, cheered on by his classmates. With her limiter still in place, Renko was not that fast. The distance between them closed before everyone’s eyes, but he had not reached her yet. Renko rounded the fourth turn. Kyousuke was at the third.

  Maybe I can catch her—No, I’ve got to catch her, no matter what.

  I don’t want it to end like this.

  “Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyy! Wait up, Renkoooooooooooo!”

  “Kksshh?! Kyo-Kyousuke…”

  Renko turned to look behind her. For just one second she hesitated but quickly shook her head and started sprinting with all her strength. The blue of Renko’s jersey and the white tape of the goal line drew near.

  —Bang!

  A loud gunshot echoed through the cloudless azure sky.

  Renko and Kyousuke. First-year Class B and first-year Class A. First across the finish was—

  “GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! First-year Class B, Renko Hikawaaa…at the very last second…was overtaken by Kamiyaaa! The winner is first-year Class A! It’s first-year Class A’s Kyousuke Kamiyaaa! FUUUUUUCK, congratulations! That was an amazing turnaround, underclassman!”

  “Miss Hikawa also tried her best, didn’t she? As expected, her huge breasts seem to have contributed to her defeat.”