Love Realized

by Melanie Codina

  “Don’t worry about it, Mom; I know it’s a rare occurrence for you to miss a game—you’re allowed a free pass every now and then. But you did miss my goal.” Jonathan feigned like he was hurt, but she could see the smile he struggled to hide. “Oh and we won 2-1; it was a tough game.” She congratulated him on the win and ignored his horrible attempt at giving her a hard time and looked to his friends.

  “Why don’t you all go in and change out of your gear so you can come and eat. We’re about to put the meat on the grill. But do me a favor, don’t leave all that sweaty gear lying around, we have guests. Last time I couldn’t figure out where the smell was coming from ‘til I found a set of shin guards under the couch.”

  “Thanks Mrs. B!” they said in unison as they followed Jonathan into the house to change.

  Yes, lucky just wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how fortunate she was to have what she had. Well, maybe she felt that way because she was always the type of person who saw the glass as half full.

  Logan, however, her husband of sixteen years, never sees things the same as her. To him, the glass was always half empty. She liked to think that that was what made them so compatible. She was the positive to his negative. Her optimism was the direct contrast to his “worst case scenario” attitude, and in lots of situations, she could apply just a little direction to his overwhelming thoughts and bring him back to level ground. Heck, in some cases, his attitude, coupled with his ability to speak his mind freely, had her diffusing situations in his wake. For instance, when they were out to dinner and the poor waitress got a full dose of Logan-the-ass because he had a bad day. Of course, this always prompted Gillian to give an apologetic look and place a few extra bucks on the table. While she understood and accepted his surly attitude at times because she loved him, she also knew that the girl behind the counter at a coffee shop didn’t have to, and why should she?

  No, Logan Baxter had never been accused of being anything less than intense, and with great intensity such as his, he often left her in awe. Unfortunately, Gillian was not the only one Logan had in awe over him. He was definitely attractive with his light brown hair, eyes that reminded her of blue jeans and nicely tanned skin from all the Southern California activities they took part in. Sadly, and as could be expected, combine his good looks with his inability to realize he had all he needed, there were definitely skeletons in the closet of their marriage. Fortunately, though, they had moved past it, locked up those skeletons, and things were good between them. Oh sure, from time to time those skeletons tried to fight their way out of said closet, but Gillian had made sure it stayed locked up good and tight.

  Gillian caught sight of Logan standing by the new backyard bar situated by the pool, which he proudly built with Jonathan, just for this party. “What better event could there be to finish a bar for than an eight year old’s birthday party,” was Logan’s argument when she questioned why he was doing that instead of what she directly needed accomplished. Statements like that only had her rolling her eyes and walking away, but she was still smiling, though.

  She recalled the look on his face when Logan fed her that line of crap, which was promptly followed by Jonathan rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He stood behind his father, where only Gillian could see him, and directly acknowledged to his mother that he knew his father was a total smartass and completely full of shit. The replay of the memory just made the smile spread across her face again.

  As if he heard her thoughts, Logan looked up at her, and one side of his mouth quirked up into a devilish half smile, while he arched an eyebrow giving her that “how you doing” flirtatious look she loved. And yes, it made her blush and giggle slightly. That’s right, she’s a giggler. It always amazed her how he could do that to her. She loved it and got equally irritated by it because she knew there were times he got away with far more than he should have.

  There she was standing amongst her party guests, blushing and smiling like a fool when she had things to be doing. Attempting to focus on her role of hostess, she turned toward the house when a voice rumbled in her ear.

  “What’s that smile for, sexy?” Her smile got even bigger. Now the day was perfect; Jake was here. Always falling into the playful banter with one of her oldest and dearest friends was second nature for Gillian. Jake Michaels was always a flirt with her; it stretched all the way back to high school, and it was just part of their relationship. Of course, it was also easy to do since he was as sweet and sexy as they come.

  Tall, dark, and handsome was certainly a phrase that could easily be used to describe Jake, with his chocolate brown hair and light brown eyes that resembled topaz. And let’s not forget the broad shoulders and chest that sported the perfect proportions for his six-foot two-inch frame. Seriously, she had no idea how she ended up with all these good-looking men in her life? Hell, when they all were indulging in pool time, it looked like freaking spring break, with real adult males instead of those still trying to grow chest hair.

  Jake leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, which she offered up gladly because he was easily one of her favorite people. “Just relishing in the joy of all these handsome men in my life,” she said with a wink.

  “Well then it’s a good thing I got here, so you really have something to smile about.” Both of them laughed as Jake winked back. Gillian loved that she still had Jake in her life, even after all these years; they always had a good time together.

  “Hey, I found some party guests at the front door, and I brought them in for you since they said they rang the doorbell. Hope that’s okay; he says he works with you.”

  “Oh, thanks, I didn’t even think about people who aren’t used to just walking into my house like the rest of you guys do,” she said as she nudged him with her hip.

  “Well if I announced myself, then you may not let me come over, and then how will I get to have dinner with one of the hottest moms I know.”

  Gillian couldn’t contain her giggle. “Damn Jake, you sure know how to make a girl’s day. Now go check in with the birthday boy, he was looking for his “favorite uncle” earlier. Of course, that always gets under my brother’s skin when he hears Dylan say that.”

  Jake laughed out loud at that. “Which is exactly why I have trained Dylan to call me that, just to get under Sean’s skin … it’s so much fun. How about Ryan, has he been good?”

  “He is always good for his favorite aunt. Both boys have been in the pool for hours … the two of them should be sprouting gills any minute now.”

  Ryan was Jake’s son, from a brief marriage to a woman who couldn’t be bothered with settling down with just one man. They divorced when Ryan was only one, after Jake walked in on her with another man. She then followed this man to Florida and didn’t have any problems with granting Jake full custody of Ryan. Jake loved his son and didn’t want him to be subjected to a woman who couldn’t seem to focus on anyone but herself.

  “Hey, we have matching titles: you, the favorite aunt, and me, the favorite uncle. It’s a wonder the rest of these yahoos ever get paid any attention at all.” Jake smacked her on the ass and walked away to search for Dylan and Ryan while yelling toward the pool, “Has anyone seen the birthday boy? His favorite uncle is here!” Gillian just laughed as she turned around to look where her brother, Sean, was sitting with his wife, knowing that Jake only did that to rile him up. Boys will be boys, regardless of their age.

  Turning toward the house, she spotted Adam, her co-worker, standing by the gated entryway to the pool area with who she assumed was his wife, bent forward talking to their daughter. Gillian quickly tried to recall what her name was, but failed, and hoped he would introduce her. When Adam spotted her, he smiled and waved. He looked a little too excited to be there, but she knew that since they had moved to the area recently, they were probably short on friends. Gillian smiled back at him and started to head in his direction, wanting to say hello and welcome them before bringing the burgers and dogs she was carrying over to the grill.

 
As she got closer, the woman standing next to Adam stood up and turned around to resume her position next to him. All of the oxygen suddenly vacated Gillian’s lungs, and apparently the need to bring in more seemed to escape her mind. Forgetting to breathe, forgetting everyone around her, she stood there staring into the eyes of this woman. A woman whose eyes and face had already been etched into her mind. A woman branded into Gillian’s memory. A woman who has, until now, only existed in Gillian’s mind or in secret pictures she had come across in the past. A woman who was not supposed to be here, in her yard, at her son’s birthday party … or even in this damn state for that matter! A woman who sure as hell should not be within an arm’s reach of Gillian. A woman who possessed the power to bring Gillian to her knees from heartache.

  This was not just any woman; this was the woman! The Other Woman! She could just hear the hinges of her marital closet creaking open with a deafening metal on metal sound. Exit skeletons! Jody Spencer was the other woman who Logan loved. Loves? Now would be a very good time for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Because, as unbelievable as it should be, Logan’s mistress was standing there in front of her, staring back at her.

  Gillian just stood there and stared at the woman. She saw the realization cross the woman’s face when she figured out who she was looking at and where she was. She hadn’t figured it out as quickly as Gillian did, but then again, it was doubtful that she gave much thought to Gillian, other than maybe to laugh at her while wrapped in Logan’s arms. Dammit! This cannot be happening, she silently begged, the desire to have someone knock her out and put her out of her misery was climbing by the second.

  Gillian’s concentration was broken when she heard a loud clattering sound causing her to jump. With a sudden intake of air, she realized that the sound was her dropping the large metal tray carrying all the meat for the grill, which now resided in a pile surrounding her feet. Damn! She didn’t have to look around to know that everyone was looking in her direction. Good job, Gillian! Way to draw attention to the mistress. Adam bent over to help pick up the mess, as did someone else, but Gillian couldn’t take the time to look because she couldn’t break her eye contact with Jody. Wouldn’t that show weakness? She was sure there was some animal kingdom show that said the predator never takes his or her eyes off the prey … yeah, don’t break eye contact; show her who has the power here … or some shit like that.

  Jody looked wide-eyed and even a little scared. She should; she essentially just walked into the lion’s den. At that realization, a tiny bit of sympathy passed through Gillian, but was quickly squashed down. Jody then flickered her gaze to Adam and then back to Gillian, before slightly glancing around the crowd of people. Good, she broke eye contact first. I win. Maybe she watched one too many shows on Animal Planet. Maybe she was looking for help or even an escape route. Maybe she was looking for Logan to confirm that she was, in fact, standing face-to-face with Gillian Baxter.

  She couldn’t believe this was happening here. This was sacred ground to Gillian; the mistress had no business being on her turf. She was a threat, and Gillian needed to protect her family from this evil woman. She needed to protect herself from the embarrassment that was going to follow when everyone found out who this was standing in front of her.

  The rambling going on in Gillian’s head was interrupted when Adam stood up with the tray, and Logan suddenly appeared in front of her. Looking at Gillian, he asked, “Babe, what happened?” She wanted to look at Logan, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of her—the threat—the one person who could provide her with the ultimate of embarrassing situations. This woman almost destroyed her world, and possibly still possessed the power to successfully destroy her world for good this time.

  When Gillian didn’t turn to look at Logan, he must have turned to see what, or rather who, she was looking at. She realized that this interaction between them was obscured from where Logan was sitting. The arm that Logan had placed on Gillian’s back stiffened, and that was when she knew he had realized that the shit was about to hit the fan.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Damage control needed to be done, and fast, before everyone in her life figured out what was going on! Think Gillian think! Come up with something! She didn’t go through all the horror of his affair alone, never confiding in anyone; just to have it all erupt here and now. Hell no!

  When an idea sprung into her head, she hoped that she was going to be able to actually speak, since her throat felt like she had swallowed sand, and her tongue felt like it was ten times bigger than it was. She turned to Logan, made eye contact with him, and saw the pleading look he was giving her. She knew that he was begging her not to say anything and cause a scene.

  She also knew that look he gave her was him begging her to hear him out. Yes, she had seen that look before. Yeah right! Like anything Gillian did at this moment was to make things easier for him, no way! In fact, the desire to swiftly knee him in his manhood was pretty hard to control right now. This was not about him. This cover up was about protecting her and their kids from his screw up, and the complete and total shame she felt because of it.

  “A bee,” she managed to get out of her drier than dry mouth. Clearing her throat she continued, “I think I was stung by a bee … on my hand. It caused me to drop the tray.” She then looked back to Adam and his family, and for the first time, noticed the little girl standing next to Jody. She looked like she was shy and probably frightened by the bit of commotion caused by the clattering tray. Gillian bent down and smiled at the little girl. “I'm sorry, sweetie, if I frightened you. I didn’t mean to, but we will just blame it all on the bee.” After a pause, the little girl was still looking a little uncomfortable, so she continued, “My name is Gillian, what’s your name?”

  Paying attention to the child helped distract her from what was actually happening. The shy little girl with dirty blonde hair and big brown eyes gazed at Gillian and then smiled, suddenly relaxing and said, “Rachel.” Gillian smiled back; she was a cute kid, probably close to five or six, and it certainly was not her fault that her mother was a slimy whore. That could not be held against her. Thankfully, the kid was a spitting image of Adam so there was no concern whose kid it was. Dodged that bullet Logan! Gotta look for the silver lining here, people. “Well Rachel, I sure hope you brought your bathing suit because all the kids are in the pool. Can you swim?” The little one nodded to Gillian and then begged her mom to allow her to get in the pool.

  And that is when Gillian heard, in person for the first time, the voice of “the other woman.” Gillian had heard it once before, over a year ago when listening to the voicemail she had left for Logan. It sounded different in person. It was painful to hear and sliced right through Gillian. Like nails down a chalkboard. That was the voice that Logan listened to, the voice that left him messages, the voice that whispered in his ears when Gillian had no idea it was even happening. This was the voice that Gillian always feared he would want to hear instead of her own.

  Suddenly, shame and humiliation enveloped Gillian, filling her with the need to run, curl up in a ball, and pray for this to not be happening. NO! No, dammit! How dare she have that kind of power? She could not let this happen again. Feeling the sudden burst of energy course through her body, she squared her shoulders and turned to Logan, glared at him and said, “Logan, baby,” in a sickly sweet voice that he would know was her I’m-pissed-and-putting-on-an-act-voice, “this is Adam. He recently started in the radiology department at the medical center, and this is his family. I'm sorry, what was your name again?” she said as she looked to Jody. And since she had to put on a show, she put out her hand in an offer to shake. Jody responded with a timid handshake and said, “Jody. Thank you for inviting us; you have a lovely home.”

  Gillian had a quick image flash through her mind of using Jody’s hand, which she currently held, to hold her in place while simultaneously pounding on her with the other. Of course, she also managed to visualize her girlfriends jumping in the mix, too. She knew t
hey would have her back, if only they knew what the hell was going on. The image in her mind of beating the crap out of this woman made her feel a little bit better and brought a smile to her face. An evil smile, but it was a smile nonetheless, which was appropriate, considering she was supposed to be smiling. Remembering she needed to respond to Jody, “Why thank you Jody. This is my husband, Logan; he and his partner remodeled it and can take credit for it.” Gillian watched as Logan appropriately extended his hand out to shake Adam’s, and then Jody’s, hand. She was once again filled with anger at the site of the brief contact of Logan’s skin against Jody’s, causing her to stiffen. Logan picked up on it, and immediately pulled Gillian into his side, with his arm securely holding her in place against him.

  The front she was trying to put on was beginning to collapse, though. The contact with Logan made it weaker as she thought about the enormity of this situation. She could hear the muffled rumbling of Logan’s voice as if it were coming from somewhere in the distance. “Welcome to our home, please come on in, relax. It already appears that your daughter is comfortable with her surroundings since she’s already in the pool. Beer is at the bar, soda and juice is in the cooler. Please, help yourself.” As soon as he rushed to expel all of that, he turned his attention toward her and said, “Where did the bee sting you? Was it on the hand? Let’s go check it out, and put some ice on it.” Then turning back to Adam and Jody, he said, “Please excuse us.” Logan then quickly took the tray from Adam with his free arm and handed it to someone. He ushered Gillian into the house and away from everyone else—away from Jody. Smart man; it would certainly benefit him to get her away from Jody.

  White noise and numbness started to overwhelm her. She could hear buzzing sounds that must belong to the people around her. Why does it sound like I'm in a tunnel? Or maybe even underwater? Yes, white noise is the best way to describe it. Gillian numbly walked inside the house, escorted by Logan. He held her hand positioned in front of her like there was something wrong with it. Oh wait, there was supposed to be something wrong with it. A bee sting. Clever thinking on her part. She would definitely pat herself on the back for coming up with that one, but she couldn’t right now because she was faking a Goddamn bee sting! Ugh! Gillian’s thoughts were drowning her, so she just allowed Logan to lead her through the house.