Fastball (Stadium Series Book 3)

by S A Clayton

  “What’s wrong?” I ask quietly, placing my hands on his chest and letting them fall lightly down, stopping at his belt. Before I get to say anything more, he shrugs away from my touch and I recoil.

  “I’m not in the mood tonight,” he grunts, walking into the living room and turning off the TV I forgot was still lighting up the space. “I think it’s best if you went home to your place tonight.”

  I couldn’t have heard him right…did he just ask me to leave?

  “What?”

  He takes his beer and makes his way down the hall toward the bedroom and doesn’t look back once as I just stand there and stare as he walks away. As he leaves me in the darkness, I feel the tears start to form because this is it. This is where my worst fear starts to form.

  My head dips as I stand there in total silence, listening, hoping that he’ll come back to me, but that never happens. So I start gathering my things and I open the front door, ready to walk out, but I stop myself.

  No.

  I will not let him do this. He fought for us when I was living inside my own head, I won’t let him do the same thing right now.

  I let go of the front door and hear the slam as I make my way back into his apartment, dropping my purse on the floor. I make my way down the hall and push open his bedroom door and look around. I don’t see anything but the light from the bathroom and when I hear the telltale sight of water hitting tile, I make my way into the bathroom and stop dead in my tracks. I suck in a breath at the sight of him behind the glass, not because he’s a sight to be seen with water cascading down his perfect body, but because he looks utterly and completely broken. His head is dipped down, arms bracing against the wall in front of him and I can see his eyes are tightly shut.

  I break.

  I let the steam surround me as I walk gently into the room, stripping and watching as Josh’s muscles clench under the scalding water.

  “Don’t,” he mutters as I go to drop my panties to the floor. His eyes are on mine as I hook my thumbs under the silky fabric and push them past my hips. “Harper…” he warns, turning his head away from me.

  I would be discouraged if it wasn’t for the massive erection he’s sporting, so I continue.

  I know what he’s doing, it’s what I did. Pushing. And just like him, I’m not allowing it to happen. I unhook my bra as I make my way toward the shower, letting it drop to the floor as I reach for the glass door. Once I step inside, the water hits my skin and I jump at how hot it is. I gently place my hands on his back, his muscles tensing under my touch and shattering my heart into pieces.

  “Talk to me,” I whisper, my fingers tracing the edges of his muscles.

  “Don’t!” he snaps, jerking away from my touch. “Harper, I can’t do this…”

  “Do what? Talk to me?” I spit back.

  I went into this shower hoping soft and gentle would bring him back to me, but now I see that was the wrong approach. He doesn’t turn around, he just stands tall, back facing me as he runs his fingers through his wet hair.

  “Please…” he begs, his voice wavering. “I need you to leave…”

  I shake my head, knowing full well he can’t see the action.

  “So what, you get to push me away, but I couldn’t? What gives you the right to do this, we promised no more secrets!” I yell as his shoulders bunch and his open hand slaps against the tiled wall in front of him, causing me to flinch.

  “You want everything out in the open? Fine!” he yells, turning toward me.

  A look of pure anger and rage stares back at me as I recoil because I’ve never seen that look directed at me before and I’m not sure I like this side of him. The energy surrounding us shifts as I back up, my naked back hitting the cold wall behind me as I suck in a deep breath.

  “You want to hear how my lawyer says there’s nothing we can do about the photos? Not without knowing who’s behind them.” His eyes bore into mine as I cave and shut mine. Hating that this whole situation is causing him so much pain. “Or how about the fact that someone we know broke into the camera room and stole footage of us having sex, and I can’t fucking figure out who it is.”

  I reach out my hand, trying to calm him, but he pushes me away.

  Tears fall freely now as his eyes meet mine once more. “Or maybe the fact that after I had one of the worst games of my career, I’m told I’m being benched.”

  I gasp. Can they actually do that? I shake my head, the water mixing with my tears.

  “No.”

  “What?” he mutters, gazing down at me. Some of the anger is gone, but I still sense it washing off him in waves.

  “No,” I repeat with as much conviction as I can muster. “I refuse to let you carry all of this on your own shoulders.”

  He goes to speak but I hold up my hand to stop him.

  “It’s my turn now, so shut up and listen to me, okay?”

  I see a glimmer of a smirk before it disappears.

  “You once told me that I wasn’t alone in this, that we were in this together. I have this funny feeling that you need to be reminded of that.”

  His head bows and I continue.

  “Josh, baby… you need to talk to me when things like this pile up. I know. It’s hard, I feel it too. Trust me. I’m the reason this is all happening, so believe me when I say that I get it.”

  “It’s not your fault,” he whispers, the tension in his shoulders deflating right in front of my eyes. I smile, stepping forward and placing both of my palms on his chest as his eyes lift to meet mine.

  “I know it’s not my fault. Just like everything hitting the fan today isn’t your fault either. We’re going to have some very bad days ahead, but I need you to be with me, not against me.”

  “I was never against you.”

  I arch my eyebrow and laugh quietly. “Sure felt like it.”

  He shakes his head. “I never wanted you to see this side of me, this side of the game. The pressure, the frustration, and especially the anger.”

  “You forget that I grew up around this,” I say with a wink, then my face sobers. “You don’t think I’m angry?” I admit.

  He looks down at me and I try and give him a reassuring smile.

  “I’m angry all the time. I want my life to go back to normal, where I don’t have to worry about my every move being used as blackmail.”

  “Sunshine…” he mutters, his head dipping and resting against the crook of my neck. “I hate what this is doing to you and if I could take it all away, I would.”

  There’s a weighted silence between us and I know I need to say what I need to say but I hesitate. Josh must sense something because he leans back, our eyes locking.

  “What?”

  “I—” I start but stop, trying to find the right words.

  His fingers graze my chin, lifting my eyes to his. The anger is gone and all I see is concern.

  “I wish I was stronger,” I admit. “Strong enough to walk away. I wish I could let you go back to the way things were before me, but I’m too selfish. I love you too much to let you go.”

  A shiver runs through me as the water turns cold. Without breaking contact, Josh turns off the water and slowly wraps his arms around me.

  “Damn, Sunshine, you’re killing me.” His lips lightly trace a path from my collarbone to the shell of my ear. “I’m a selfish bastard too. I love you so much it scares me. I would give up all of this for you.”

  I go to rebut but he shakes his head.

  “I know you would never ask but I would. Baseball was my first love, but you… you are my forever love.”

  My heart melts into a puddle on the floor right there in the bathroom.

  “I know I let it all get to me tonight, but that anger was never directed at you. You are the light to my darkness, sweetheart.”

  I shut my eyes as he picks me up and my legs wrap around his hips as he walks back out toward his bedroom. He sits on the edge of the bed and just holds me on his lap, breathing me in.

  “I’m
sorry,” he murmurs against my hair, and I smile, kissing his shoulder.

  “It’s okay. You have all night to make it up to me,” I tease as his hands lightly travel down toward my ass and squeeze.

  “Is that right?” He smirks, leaning over and lightly biting my neck, causing me to jump. “Just remember that you asked for it,” and before I know it, I’m flipped onto my back, and he keeps that promise… twice.

  12

  Josh

  “You need more food in this place,” King mutters as he opens a bag of chips I know I didn’t buy and sits beside me as the game loads on the TV.

  “You mean the chips you’re holding aren’t enough?” I question through a laugh as my phone vibrates on the table. When I lean over to see who it is, I crack a smile when I see that it’s Harper.

  “These were the only thing I could find that constituted as a snack. The rest are healthy and shit.”

  I arch a brow because if I know anything it’s the fact that King knows exactly what goes into his body and keeps track.

  “Don’t give me that look, this is my cheat day, let me have this.”

  I shake my head and pick up my phone, reading my girl’s text.

  Harper: How’s guys’ night going.

  Me: King is complaining that we don’t have enough snacks.

  I glance over and see that the bag of chips that sits between us is already half gone, and I know in about thirty minutes the guy beside me is going to be on the phone ordering pizza and wings.

  Harper: I just went shopping yesterday! I even bought chips!

  I chuckle to myself at the fact that she seems offended.

  Me: I told him that. Don’t worry, he’ll order pizza in a few minutes and shut up.

  Just as I send that text, King picks up his phone and starts pacing the living room as he orders said pizza. There’s a knock at the door and before I have a chance to get up, King opens the door and Will strides in with a case of beer and more chips.

  “My man! Brought reinforcements!” King yells while still on the phone.

  Will gives me a look, one I know well. He’s questioning why we invite him anywhere. I shrug, taking the beer from his hands and putting it in the fridge. Once I’m done, I check my phone once more and see that Harper hasn’t texted back, so I set my phone on the island and lean back, waiting for Will to say something, but I can see it written all over his face.

  “What? Spit it out,” I mutter, making sure King is still on the phone.

  “How’s Harper?” he asks, and I quirk an eyebrow because I know for a fact that he doesn’t want to know about my girlfriend.

  “If you want to ask about Mel, just ask, man.”

  A shy smile crosses his face, one I haven’t seen on him since college as he shakes his head.

  “You like her,” I state, already knowing it’s true but I know he needs to admit it to himself.

  “I don’t know, man. I can’t get her out of my head. I haven’t even kissed her and yet there she is, taking over my dreams.”

  In the back of my mind, I can’t wait to tell Harper that she was right about him, but on the surface, I appear neutral.

  “So ask her out.” It’s the obvious thing to do but by the eye roll I receive, he knows that.

  “I have, she’s said no every time.”

  I tilt my head and wonder why that is, then I remember what Harper said about Mel making him work for it. This must be what she meant.

  “You know not every girl is going to fall at your feet and beg to go out with you…” I mutter, seeing the pleading look in his eyes.

  “I know that, asshole. What I didn’t expect was her to flat out say no when I know she’s interested.”

  “How do you know she’s interested?” It’s at this point that King hangs up the phone and makes his way over to where we’re standing.

  “Who’s interested?” King questions and a look of panic crosses Will’s face.

  “Mel,” I say before I think better of it and when King’s eyes grow three sizes and Will smacks my arm, I know I made a mistake.

  “You’re into Mellie? Seriously?”

  King makes a face and Will’s eyes narrow in anger.

  “What? Even you have to admit she’s not your usual type.”

  He’s not wrong. But right now, Will doesn’t want to hear it.

  “Okay,” I start, diverting both men from killing each other. “How about we set up the game and play for a few hours and forget about women altogether?”

  “No!” King says through a laugh. “I want to know how Will thinks he’s going to get with Mellie. Because from what I heard that girl isn’t free for anyone, especially you.”

  Will lunges toward him, but my hands stop him.

  “Will, man. Stop,” I mutter, pushing him back a few steps. “I know he’s a fucking pissant about this shit, but maybe use him to your advantage. He and Mel are friends, right?” I look to King and he nods. “Ask him what she wants. Ask him what she likes and what to do in order to get her interested.”

  Will thinks about this for a split second before he deflates and King steps closer.

  “Will, if you’re really interested then I can help, but if you’re only interested in getting in her pants, I will leave you high and dry to fight that girl because from what she’s told me, she deserves someone in her corner that wants her for her.”

  We both stand there in shock, because I have never heard King speak like this about anyone, especially a woman.

  “What?”

  “I’m not used to you being protective like this,” I mutter, taking the beer and chips off the counter and heading into the living room and sitting on the couch.

  “Well believe it. Because Mel is a nonnegotiable issue for me. Got it?” He looks toward Will as he nods but then his eyes connect with my very confused ones. “What?” he questions with a nervous laugh.

  “Nothing… just not used to you caring about a woman.”

  King shrugs but says nothing as he makes his way to where I’m sitting.

  “It’s a good look for you,” I tease as he throws a chip my way.

  “Whatever. Can we play this fucking game before we turn into women and start gossiping all night?”

  I roll my eyes, Will making his way into the room and sitting on the floor. Before long we’ve immersed ourselves into the game and hours pass without any of us moving an inch.

  “Fuck, man, I need to stretch my legs before the next set,” King mutters, getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen where he grabs some more beers but then stops at the island. “Hey Josh?” he says, his voice sounding concerned as he holds up my phone.

  “Yeah?”

  “Umm, you might want to call Harper… she’s messaged you about ten times.”

  Panic explodes from within my chest as I jump out of my seat and grab the phone from his hands.

  Harper: Babe? Can you call me please? Something happened.

  Harper: Josh? I really need you to call me. Please.

  Harper: I don’t know what to do, please call me.

  There are five more along those lines and so I immediately dial her number and hope to God she’s okay.

  “Josh?” she whispers after the first ring.

  My chest compresses at the sound of her voice. At least she’s okay.

  “Sunshine? What’s wrong? What happened?”

  When she doesn’t answer right away my mind starts racing and the worst-case scenarios start to form in my head. Did something happen to Henry, the gym? Did someone try to hurt her? Did the pictures get leaked? All of those scenarios run through my brain as I listen to her breath hitch as she tries to find the words to tell me what happened.

  “Sweetheart, what happened, are you okay?” I ask again and she’s silent for a few more seconds before she says the words I hoped would never come from her mouth again.

  “I got another email.”

  13

  Harper

  It didn’t take me long to get to
Josh’s place. I felt guilty texting him this much, but Mel was out, and I didn’t really feel like bothering Henry with all of this, especially when he only knows about the first batch of photos and not the video.

  The second I pull into his parking garage, I see him leaning against his truck and motioning for me to park across from him in one of the visitor parking spots. I usually park beside him, but from what he told me on the phone, King drank a little too much and left his truck here and took an Uber home, leaving me with nowhere to park.

  Before I can even turn off my car, my door is opened and Josh is there, hand out and waiting. Once I take it, I’m pulled out of my car and wrapped in his arms, something I will never turn away from.

  “I am so glad you’re okay, those texts scared the crap out of me.”

  I nuzzle my face into his chest as I breathe him in, noticing the tension in his muscles and hoping me being here will help with that.

  “I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what else to do…”

  His lips find my hairline and kiss me softly.

  “I’m sorry for ruining boys’ night,” I whisper as he tightens his hold before leaning back and bringing my eyes to meet his.

  “Never, and I mean never, apologize for needing me. You’re my girl and that means if you need me for anything you let me know and I’ll be there. Video games and beer can happen any day but being there for you? If I missed that, I would never forgive myself.”

  “You know it’s not fair that you say lines like that,” I mutter, pulling my purse out of the car before shutting the door and locking it.

  When I peer back at Josh, he has a confused smile plastered on his face as I start walking toward the elevator.

  “Those lines are too perfect, they cause me to go all fluttery inside.”

  “And what’s the problem with that?” he murmurs while nuzzling my neck and causing a moan to escape my throat.

  “What was the question again?” I moan as my backside wiggles closer to his growing erection.