Tainted Romance

by Simone Elise

  “Not even Dr. Phil could help you two,” Chase grumbled, and Allie was looking at Blake’s face, it was getting blurry.

  “This is ridiculous.”

  My mind was snapped from Allie’s because of Ebony’s voice. That wasn’t a dream. That was a memory, and she had just relived it.

  A pair of fingers snapped in my face, and I was forced to look at Ebony.

  “What?” What did she want?

  “He won’t leave her!” she snapped. “Like he won’t stop holding her hand. As soon as he heard the doctor say she was healing, he basically decided it was him doing it and now won’t leave her. It’s been a week!”

  She was talking about Blake and the fact I hadn’t been the only one living here. He had been too, but he got to hold her hand. He got to be in the same room as her. I was banished to the waiting room.

  I hated the way he was with her. Hated it more when I realized she was dreaming about him, well, not dreaming, reliving memories of him.

  “I’m busy, Ebony.” I wanted to get back in Allie’s head. At least being in here, alone, let me do that. I could live her every dream or memory.

  “No, you aren’t. You’re in a waiting room, Zane.” Ebony looked at me as if I was stupid. “Are you not even caring I’ve lost my mate?”

  “I told you he was a threat,” I grumbled. She wouldn’t believe me when I had said, but his feelings for Allie ran deep. “He loves her.”

  “He is meant to love me more.”

  “He is still getting to know you. He has known her his whole life.”

  “You seem very calm about this?” Ebony’s voice went up. “Why aren’t you doing something about it?!”

  “Because he could be right. He could be making her heal and if that is the case, I want him there because as soon as she wakes up, she is mine.”

  “That’s if she doesn’t jump my mate,” Ebony snapped. “I always knew there was a reason why I hated her.”

  “Leave, Ebony, before you say something else.” I knew her. She didn’t stop with one insult. She wanted to tear limbs off Allie for having her mate’s attention.

  “He won’t let me back in. Said I was in the way.” She crossed her arms.

  “When did he tell you that?”

  “Days ago, so I left. I thought it was a temporary thing. It wasn’t until I came back today, to see if he was thinking clearly again, but he isn’t. Still high on the thought he is helping Allie.”

  “Go home then.”

  “I am. I wanted to know if you wanted to come?” She gave me a look I had seen before. It was her ‘I want to fuck you’ face. Normally I wouldn’t turn her down. That was before I admitted to how I really felt about Allie. Now, not even Ebony could have me turning away from Allie.

  “Not interested.”

  She scoffed, “First my mate and now you.”

  “You just want to fuck me to piss your mate off to get his attention.” I looked her hard in the eye. “Go find someone else.”

  “Fine.” She got up. “I will.” And stormed off.

  Good. I could go back to Allie. I reached out for her and found her easily.

  Why would he do that to me? I don’t get him. I hate this. I hate him more. No, that’s a lie. I’m in love with him. Zane Harris will be the death of me.

  She reached out for a shot.

  Ok, backup plan. He doesn’t want me. What do I do? Run? Leave him behind? I could. He will treat me hot and cold for another two years, then I could leave. He won’t want me then like he doesn’t want me now.

  Could I survive another two years of dealing with him? I barely survived this year. I told him I loved him. That wasn’t enough. He doesn’t want me. And I won’t be some, thing, he has to put up with.

  He doesn’t want me, fine. I’ll leave. He will be glad to see the back of me.

  She pushed herself away from the bar and got up.

  Why does the thought of never seeing him again, hurt so bloody much? Why can’t he just love me back?

  Alpha Harris could release me early. He doesn’t want me near Zane. He doesn’t want me as his son’s mate. He would release me, and I could go.

  Leave.

  Zane.

  Mom.

  Dad.

  Jace.

  School.

  Everything behind.

  Leaving Zane, could I do that? Why did my heart have to clench like that? Why did it have to hurt so much?

  Ok, think, Allie. You love him. He doesn’t love you. I loved him enough to let him go. That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? For me to let him go?

  Her hand nervously opened the car door.

  I could do that. I could let go of him, for him. Alpha Harris would release me. Zane could go back to his women and do whatever he wants, and I could… what? Live the rest of my life with a hole in my heart?

  Well, there was no other option. That was what I was faced with.

  She put the car in drive.

  Tomorrow I’ll let him go. I’ll ask Alpha Harris to release me. I’ll leave. Zane wants that, but I don’t want that. ZANE WANTS THAT.

  I wished I could just stop it. Stop everything. Stop the feelings. Stop the longing. Stop having to face a future without him. I just want it all to stop!

  She looked at the dash, she was speeding.

  He doesn’t want me. I won’t hang around being unwanted.

  He doesn’t want me. She clenched her eyes shut for a second, tears running down her face. I’ll let him go.

  I should have never come back to the pack to begin with.

  Stupid, Allie! Thinking with my heart, not my head.

  My wolf had been numbed, and that wasn’t nearly as painful as the thought of facing a world without Zane, but I would do it. He didn’t love me. Nothing I could do would change his mind. Hadn’t I done everything to try and show him that I was ready to commit?

  He didn’t want that.

  She wiped tears away.

  Leaving is the best option. I won’t even say goodbye to him. He wouldn’t want that anyway.

  It was a simple fact, Zane hadn’t said no, but how he had treated me, was telling me it was a hell no. So, you don’t wait around to be dumped again, Allie. You leave.

  She turned her head and headlights were coming at her.

  Her mind went blank.

  She was leaving?

  That was right before the accident she had decided she was leaving. No wonder she wasn’t waking up, because she was only doing what she had planned; leaving me, although this way she was planning on dying.

  I was up and out of my chair in a second. How was I going to get her to wake up?

  I had caused this. All of this.

  I walked up the hall, and my luck would have to be good because Blake was talking to one of the doctors at the nurses’ station which meant no-one was with Allie.

  I knew which room was hers by the pull to her.

  I opened the door, and there she was. Lying still. In the middle of the bed.

  I walked to her side, taking the seat that Blake had obviously pulled to her side.

  Her hand was cold as I took it which was odd because we normally always ran hot, but when it came to Allie, she never did what was normal.

  Her black hair was framing her face. Blake had tucked it behind her ears. The piercing in her ear was coming out as soon as she woke up.

  And she was giving up smoking.

  I had her now. I was alone with her, and I had never felt so bloody nervous.

  I could tell the way she was reliving memories she knew who was in the room which was why most of the memories she was reliving were of Blake and Chase.

  That was the first one she’d had of me, and it gave me insight into what she was thinking before the accident. I had caused it, like I guessed, but her leaving. Did she really think I would let that happen?

  But if she had gone to my dad behind my back, he would have released her. She would have
left, and one day I would wake up to find out the person I loved the most was gone because I was a selfish prick that didn’t see what he had.

  Allie was offering me her whole heart. The rest of her life and I had turned her down.

  Dickhead. I was a dickhead.

  I had her now so I could tell her how I felt. She could hear me.

  I got up, still holding her hand, feeling incredibly nervous.

  I lowered my mouth to her ear. “Don’t leave, Allie. Please don’t leave me.” If she knew she had me begging, she would laugh at me, but I would beg. I would do anything to keep her.

  She didn’t want to face a future without me. Dying would ensure she wouldn’t.

  “I’m a selfish jerk, Allie, and you have to hear me when I say I love you more than anything, so please don’t leave me.” I kissed her cheek. “Don’t leave me.”

  I reached into her mind, but it was blank. She wasn’t dreaming. She was thinking. She wasn’t reliving memories.

  “What are you doing in here?”

  I turned to look at Blake. “She’s my mate, and I’m not leaving her.”

  “Well, go back to the waiting room then because being in here could screw everything up!”

  “No.” I let go of her hand and walked towards him. “I’m done letting you be with her. She’s my mate. I know she wants me. She might have thought I didn’t want her, but she was wrong, so maybe you should go and see Ebony because I’m not leaving.”

  He looked at me smugly. “Has she been dreaming of me?”

  How the hell would he know that? He couldn’t read her mind like I could. “No.” I lied.

  “Funny, because I’ve been telling her story after story, and I have a strong feeling she is listening to me. I told her, and now I’ll tell you,” he took a step closer to me, “I’m taking her back.”

  “You can’t have her, you have a mate!”

  “Allie and I made a promise a long time ago we wouldn’t let mates get in the way of us. I’ve been reminding her of that.”

  “So, what about Ebony?”

  “I need Ebony, but I want Allie.”

  “So, you are going to play both?” Like I was going to let that happen!

  “No. I can still turn my back on Ebony. We might have mated, but that doesn’t mean I can’t distance myself from her. Like I said. I made a promise to Allie.”

  “Yeah, you’re never letting mates get in the way of your two’s relationship. Yeah, I know all about it, but that was before.”

  “So, she has been dreaming of me.” He grinned. “Knew she was listening, and I’m guessing before you realized you wanted her, right?”

  “Fucking hell. She’s mine, and when she wakes up, I’m going to make sure the only person she wants is me.”

  “And how are you going to do that, Harris? You’ve treated her like dirt, playing her hot and cold. Leaving her. Killing her wolf. Now suddenly she is to forget that and just be with you? No way you even have enough charm to pull that shit off.”

  “Allie wants me.”

  “Allie wanted me!” His fists curled at his side. “And I let you and Ebony get in the way of that, but I’m stopping that now. She said I would always have her heart and I’m going to make sure she remembers that.”

  “Fine, she can pick.” I crossed my arms. “When she wakes up, you or me. She can pick.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “I might not be able to promise her everything, but I can promise her more than you. Like getting her out of this town. I can promise that. She never wanted to be stuck here, and that is all you are offering.”

  It was a low blow, but he was right. That was all I was offering. A lifetime in this town. Leading the future, but I wasn’t just giving her that, I was giving her my heart, and I hoped that would be enough for her to pick me over him.

  Chapter Fifty-seven

  It was physically killing me, slowly. So slowly. Watching him with her. He pretended like I wasn’t here in the room, even though I was on the other side, holding her other hand. He acted like he was alone with her.

  No wonder she was reliving memory after memory of him because he was filling her head with them! Telling her story after story.

  It was working too because her mind was focused on them. Not at first, but what he said would spark a memory in her mind, and I had to painfully sit still while she re-lived it.

  I had to do something about it.

  She wasn’t thinking of me, and if she woke up after spending over a week thinking only about him, she wasn’t going to pick me.

  I had to get in her head to make sure her mind change directions. I could do that.

  I focused more on our connection. I was going to force my thoughts into her head. The last memory I have of her was me telling her not to date that guy, and she said I had to make up my mind what I wanted. Well, I couldn’t force that memory into her head.

  We spent most of our time together in class. Sure, I was usually ignoring her, but I always knew what she was doing or wanting to know what she was doing.

  I forced a memory in her mind of when I helped her in Math when she was by herself and everyone was working in partners, and I had gone and sat next to her to help. I forced another one of my memories in her head, when we were in Art class. It was freshly after she had her memories wiped and human Allie wanted me bad.

  Blake was still rattling off a memory they had together when they were young, but as I reached in Allie’s mind, she wasn’t reliving a memory of him.

  I swear these problems are getting harder. Who needs fractions? I won’t need them when I’m in Europe. Sitting on the beach, drinking as much liquor as I want. Yep, I wouldn’t need them then.

  So what, the value of X could go get fucked.

  Wait a sec? Is he looking at me again? I can literally feel it.

  She looked over her shoulder. Her eyes connecting with mine for a second.

  Yep, he’s staring again. Ignore me and then stare at me? How the hell did that make sense? I hate Math. I hate having this class with him and Ebony.

  Why won’t he just talk to me? How hard is it to have a conversation with your mate? He knew I wouldn’t bite him, right?

  Zane only cares about one thing, and that’s him. He didn’t have a conversation with me because he just didn’t want to. He simply just didn’t want me.

  I wonder what Blake is doing? I really need to break this connection I have with Zane. I swear I knew his every move. I was even tracking his whereabouts at school so I wouldn’t run into him. God, I swear nothing is more awkward than when he is forced to speak to me.

  You can tell how much he hates having to do it.

  The look in his eyes. The sharpness of his voice.

  If he could, he would avoid me altogether.

  I need to break his pull over me.

  She pulled out her phone. Maybe some hot sex with Blake will do that? Break my need to be near Zane. At the very least it would take my mind off him and maybe for one night I could fall asleep without thinking about him.

  She was messaging Blake.

  Yep, a night at Blake’s is precisely what I need.

  She looked over her shoulders giving me a pointed look. Stop staring, Zane! I swear he knew what his eyes did to me.

  She looked down at her piece of paper, and my eyes were staring back at her. She had drawn them without realizing. She quickly started scribbling across them.

  Who was I kidding? The only one I wanted to have sex with tonight was Zane, and that wasn’t going to happen.

  I smiled. Finally, she was thinking of me. Sure, it wasn’t the best memory, but it was a start, and I was going to keep forcing memory after memory of me in her head.

  I didn’t feel like Blake had the upper hand anymore because when it came down to it, everything in her body wanted me. Her heart pumped for me. Her pulse quickened when I was near. I had been keeping her awake every night. It wasn’t him.

  ***
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br />   I had thought I knew every detail of Allie’s life. I had been wrong. Seeing it through her point of view was painful. Hearing the doubt in her voice. What she really thought about me. It hurt because I had been so wrong. To push her away. Yeah, I had been wrong.

  Sure, I was listening to what dad was saying, but I couldn’t use that as an excuse. She was my mate. She needed me, and I had just, well, took what I needed of her to survive and gave her nothing.

  After she told me, she wasn’t fighting the connection anymore, and she kissed me. I knew our connection had bonded.

  So, I could easily listen to her thoughts. Like I said, I always made sure I got a good dose of her. Taking what I needed to survive. If I wanted to know what she was thinking, I would reach into her thoughts and get my answer.

  If I wanted to know where she was.

  Again, I would reach into her thoughts. Get my answer.

  Never once did I think she would want the same from me. Never once did I think, fuck, maybe she needs me to survive.

  How selfish I was, and how much of a prick I was, was only hitting me now.

  For days I had been making Allie think of me, and, every time she did, I got a new and deeper look at how much of a prick I was. God, I was a selfish bastard!

  In the last memory Allie had, she was wondering what other women had that she didn’t. She was so fixed on this idea that she was missing something.

  She was so wrong. She wasn’t missing anything. Her only downfall was me.

  I closed my eyes and, like I had been for nearly two weeks now, I reached into her thoughts. I was so in tune with her mind now that even when I was asleep, I would still be linked with her.

  I don’t understand. Where am I? God, my head is aching. Why the hell was my head aching so much? Am I that hungover? I don’t remember anything after the bar. Maybe I passed out?

  God, my head.

  My head started aching. My eyes fluttered open. She couldn’t be? Could she? I looked at her hand, and sure enough, it moved.

  She was thinking. She was waking up.

  “Allie.” I got up, standing over her. “Allie?” I kept holding onto her hand. It was when she weakly pulled it from mine, I let it go. Her hand going to her eyes.

  The lights would be bright. I quickly went and turned them down.