Inside Out

by Ellis Michaels

  “You guys are fucking with me,” he said. “You've already got Uber on your phone. I don't know what you two weirdos are trying to pull, but I'm not falling for it.”

  The young man continued walking down the hallway, shaking his head. The girls looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Dwyndolin looked at her phone and saw the word Uber. She pressed it.

  The app opened up and asked where they wanted to go. A keypad appeared and Dwyndolin started typing, slowly. She wasn't familiar with keypad layouts and it took her a long time to find all the letters in Massachusetts Avenue. Eventually, she entered the address and it said her Uber would be there in five minutes.

  “It looks like our Uber – whatever that is – will be here in five minutes,” Dwyndolin said.

  “And it's gonna bring us to the guys?” Alalia asked.

  “I guess,” Dwyndolin said, then turned toward a young woman walking down the hall. “Excuse me. I just cast an Uber and I was wondering if there's anything else I need to do.”

  “You mean you ordered an Uber?” she asked, shooting the girls a confused look. “Just go out front through those doors. They'll pick you up right out there. I use Uber all the time. They're great.”

  “Thank you,” Dwyndolin replied.

  The girls walked outside and waited. They were in awe. Just like what Ethelwulf had described, they saw machines moving quickly and tall buildings everywhere. Both of them were overflowing with anxiety and excitement.

  A few minutes later, a car pulled up. The girls just stood there, looking at it. In Bloodfeast, there were horse-drawn carriages, but nothing even remotely resembling a motor vehicle. They saw someone inside, just sitting there. After a minute, he got out.

  “You girls order an Uber?” the man asked.

  Dwyndolin looked at Alalia, then to the man and answered, “Yes. We did.”

  “Well, get in!” he said, coming around the car, opening the door for them.

  Again, the girls looked at each other before getting into the backseat of the car. The driver shut the door after them and got back in the driver's seat. Alalia sunk into her seat, impressed with how soft it was. Dwyndolin looked up front at all the buttons and controls, trying to make sense of the fantastic machine.

  “You're going to one two one six Mass Ave?” the man asked.

  “Massachusetts Avenue, yes,” Alalia answered.

  “We'll be there in less than ten minutes.”

  He put the car in drive and off they went. Both girls looked out their windows the entire ride. They were blown away by all the people, lights, buildings, and vehicles. Nothing looked the way they imagined it. As amazing at it all was, they were both terrified.

  The car pulled up to 1216 Massachusetts Avenue. They thanked the driver and got out, but not without some difficulty. He had to explain to them how to open the door. Once they figured it out, they walked up to the door with the number 1216 on it and knocked.

  “Who's there?” Arnold69 asked through the door.

  “It's us,” Dwyndolin replied.

  The door swung open and the four Bloodfeast characters were reunited at last. The girls went in and sat down in the living room with the boys.

  “What's it like out there?” Ethelwulf asked.

  “It's crazy,” Alalia replied, “just like you guys described. And all we saw were strangely-dressed humans. I don't know if I like it here. This isn't at all what I expected the great beyond to be like.”

  “What if it's not?” Ethelwulf said.

  “What if what's not?” Arnold69 asked.

  “What if this isn't the great beyond like we thought. What if this is just some other world? A world where everyone is human and magic doesn't work.”

  “That doesn't sound like a world where I'd want to live,” Dwyndolin said.

  “Me either,” Alalia added. “I wanna go home.”

  The others nodded in agreement.

  “Maybe we can figure out a way to get back somehow,” Ethelwulf said.

  “How?” Arnold69 asked.

  “I have no idea. But I'm sure it'll have something to do with that device right there.”

  Ethelwulf pointed to the desktop computer screen. The four characters all turned their attention to it. On the screen, they saw their normal bodies sleeping around a fire next to a mountain. None of them knew how they were going to get back, but they all wanted to. Even after only a short period of time, all four of them missed home.

  Chapter 11 - The Adventure Continues

  “You guys ready?” Mitch asked, eager to get on with their quest to find the Orb of Displacement.

  The others all nodded their heads in agreement. They checked to make sure nothing was left behind and they started making their way back to the main road. All of them were feeling a little uneasy with Esmeraldazela's instructions, feeling they were a bit vague. Nonetheless, they all wanted to get to the town to the north to see what they could find.

  They got back to the main road without issue. At the large rock where the path to the western mountain range meets the main road, like before, the friends stopped to rest and have something to eat.

  “We've never been north of the mountains before,” Stephanie said. “I wonder what it's like up there. I wonder what the town we're going to is like.”

  “I bet there are all kinds of crazy monsters up there,” Luke said. “I've heard there are giant beasts that can kill you with a single blow.”

  Stephanie swallowed hard. Sensing her anxiety, Mitch tried to comfort his friend.

  “I'm sure it's gonna be fine,” he said. “Don't worry about it. We'll stay focused on our mission and everything will be all good.”

  “Hmmm,” Alyssa said, looking over at Luke.

  “What?” he asked.

  “What you said has me thinking,” she answered. “When we were playing Bloodfeast MMO safely from home before getting sucked into the game, if our characters died, one of two things would happen: They'd come back to life after twenty-four hours with one hit point or after having a revival spell cast on them.”

  “Yeah. So?” Luke asked.

  “I wonder what would happen if one of us died while in the game,” Alyssa continued.

  “It's impossible to know,” Mitch said. “Hopefully we won't have to find out. But that brings up another question.”

  “What?” Alyssa asked.

  “If our characters actually got sent to our reality, what happens to them if they die? Because in our world, there are no revival spells and, as far as I know, no one's ever respawned after dying.”

  “That's a lot to think about,” Stephanie said.

  “No it's not,” Luke replied, standing up. “You guys ready? Let's get going. We've got a lot of ground to cover.”

  They packed their stuff and started walking north up the main road. It was another clear, sunny day and the friends passed several groups of adventurers along the way. Occasionally, they'd stop to chat for a minute, but usually just nodded and kept walking. There was one group of two adventurers with similar levels that they got some information from.

  “So you guys are coming back from the town at the end of this road?” Mitch asked.

  “That's right,” one of them answered. Under him read, KrombopulosMichael, Level 39, Gromflomite (custom race), Assassin in blue.

  “What's the town's called?” Mitch asked. “And nice name, by the way.”

  “Oh, thanks,” KrombopulosMichael replied. “The town? It's called Northwind.”

  “Makes sense,” Alyssa said.

  “How are the monsters once you pass between the two mountain ranges?” Luke asked.

  “Much tougher,” the other adventurer answered. Below him in blue read FoxHouse, Level 37, Dwarf, Fighter. “But not impossibly tough. And the experience and treasure you'll get after beating them is way better. You guys are all around the same levels as us. You should be alright.”

  “Cool,” Mitch replied. “Thanks
for the info. I'm curious what your name means. I know what KrombopulousMichael is from, but what does FoxHouse mean? Sorry, I always ask people what their names mean.”

  “He really does,” Luke threw in.

  “Those are my two favorite fictional characters: Fox Mulder and Gregory House,” FoxHouse answered.

  “Oh, cool,” Mitch replied. “That's interesting. And they were both inspired by the same famous detective, if I'm not mistaken.”

  “That's right!” FoxHouse said, enthusiastically. “The creators of both characters were big Sherlock Holmes fans. That's why House is called House. Holmes, House – get it? House is the singular of homes. And did you know...”

  “We won't hold you guys up any longer,” Luke said, interrupting FoxHouse. “Thanks for the info. Safe adventuring.”

  “You too,” FoxHouse replied, disappointed. It wasn't everyday that someone showed interest in his two favorite characters. His current adventuring companion certainly didn't seem to care.

  “Safe travels to Northwind,” KrombopulousMichael said.

  The four friends continued north up the road. Luke was in front as usual, fantasizing about all the monsters he might encounter to the north. Stephanie was in the back, worrying about all the monsters she might encounter to the north. The two in the middle also walked up the road, lost in thought. Alyssa was thinking about which reality sucked more - being a broke college student in Boston or a shifting white mage in a world where every single day was a struggle. Mitch thought about getting home. He couldn't wait to curl up on the couch with a packed bowl, a bag of Funyuns, and an episode of Rick and Morty on the television.

  “Hey,” Mitch said a while later, breaking the silence. As they walked past a trail leading off the main road to the left, he pointed at it and continued, “Remember what the crazy crat lady said? When she told us how to find Esmeraldazela, she said to take the third path to the right – the one with the rock.”

  “Yeah,” Luke replied. “And?”

  “She said to take the third trail,” Mitch continued. “Not the second and especially not the fourth. She made a big point of that. I wonder why she said it like that. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?”

  “No,” Luke said. “It makes you wonder.”

  Mitch shrugged his shoulders and they kept walking. He looked down the trail as they walked past it, wondering where it lead.

  The group continued onward, walking north up the road. They could see the massive mountain range they'd just come from to the left and an equally-impressive range on the right. The road ran right between the two mountains. None of them had traveled further north than that. When they got to that point, they stopped for a minute.

  “Is everyone at full hit points?” Mitch asked. “We have no idea what lies ahead.”

  The others checked their stats and nodded. Everyone but Luke, that is.

  “Close enough,” he said.

  Luke was still a few hit points shy of being at one-hundred percent from getting his arm slashed a couple days earlier. Mitch was twenty-three hit points short of being full from when he got slammed by the ice demon the night before. He took out his book of white magic and cast a healing spell on himself. +50 HP appeared above his head, restoring him back to full.

  “You sure you don't want me to cast a healing spell on your arm?” Alyssa asked Luke.

  “Nah,” he answered. “Cause then it won't leave a cool scar.”

  Alyssa didn't reply: She just shook her head.

  They traveled north up the road between the two mountain ranges. To each side, they were completely surrounded by rock. The narrow dirt road continued between the mountains for hundreds of yards. All of them were on high alert. If they got ambushed, there was nowhere to run. But there was also nowhere for enemies to hide and they made it through to the north no problem.

  When they came out on the other side, the friends stopped and looked around. The landscape was colorful and vibrant. Unlike south of the mountains which was mostly forest, ahead they could see a hilly landscape filled with green grass, a variety of flowers, and lots of rivers and streams.

  “It's beautiful,” Stephanie said in awe.

  “It really is,” Mitch agreed.

  Alyssa and Luke looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Neither of them were particularly impressed with the landscape. They resumed walking a minute later, Luke in front. The road was well-worn with plenty of recent footprints, hoof prints, and tracks from horse-drawn carts. A river came down off the east mountain and ran along the road for as far as the eye could see.

  The sun was well past its high point and the friends wondered if they'd make it to Northwind before nightfall. They'd been traveling all day and were tired, but equally eager to make it to their destination. As they were walking up the north road, Luke's pace suddenly slowed.

  “What is it?” Mitch asked.

  “Shhh,” Luke whispered. “It's a suicide squirrel.”

  “A what?” Alyssa asked.

  “Do you not know what 'shhh' means?” Luke replied, whispering. “A suicide squirrel. If you kill one, it's worth like a thousand experience points. But the second you attack it, it tries to kill itself before you do.”

  The friends looked ahead and saw a small squirrel with Ssquirrel written underneath it in red. It was nibbling on an acorn, back turned away from the group. Luke slowly raised his sword and started tip-toeing toward it. The rest of the group stayed put.

  Luke continued to creep up on the squirrel until he was right behind it. The small animal was too busy enjoying his acorn to notice. With his sword raised high above his head, Luke sent it crashing down at the squirrel.

  As the sword was coming down at the small animal, it looked up. Escaping death by a fraction of a second, the squirrel leapt out of the way. Luke's sword came flying down, slicing several inches into the dirt.

  “You little fucker!” he yelled.

  The squirrel looked up at Luke and although none of the others saw it, he swore that it laughed at him. Again, he raised his sword but the squirrel started running off. Luke chased after it as fast as he could.

  “Get it, Luke!” Mitch cheered.

  Alyssa laughed, watching the cocky fighter chase after the squirrel. It ran over to the river next to the road, Luke right behind it. He raised his sword again and the squirrel looked up at him. Without hesitation, Luke took another swing at the squirrel. It looked at the river, back up at Luke, then back to the river again.

  Splash!

  The suicide squirrel lived up to its name – well, died up to its name, really. Instead of getting cut in half by Luke's mighty blade, the squirrel jumped into the river. The rapidly-moving current pulled it underwater almost immediately, sending the squirrel to a watery grave. Luke's sword, once again, came crashing down into the ground.

  “Fucking squirrel!” he yelled.

  Luke watched it disappear down the river and shook his head. He dipped his sword in the water to wash off the dirt off it, then returned to the group.

  “Good try,” Mitch said.

  “Not good enough,” Luke replied. “That little fucker was fast.”

  “Well, it was a squirrel,” Alyssa said, amused. “What'd you expect? Can we keep going now? Or do you have other critters you want to chase around? A homicide hummingbird, perhaps? Or maybe a genocide gopher?”

  “Let's go,” Luke said and started walking up the road.

  The others followed. None of them said anything for the next half hour. The terrain was getting a little rougher. The road went up and down several large hills. From the top of some of the higher peaks, the friends could see Northwind off in the distance. They were happy to know it wasn't too much further away.

  “Guys,” Mitch said, pointing off to the left. “Look.”

  They were on the road coming down a large hill with another up ahead. About a hundred yards to their left, Mitch spotted a couple hill giants sitting around a fire.

&n
bsp; “Let's just keep going,” Stephanie said. “Maybe they won't notice us.”

  As soon as she finished her sentence, one of the hill giants looked over at them. It stood up and then the other one did, too. Though they couldn't hear them, they saw the giants turn to each other and talk for a second. Then, they grabbed their clubs and started running toward the four adventurers.

  “Yeah,” Mitch replied. “I think they noticed us.”

  “It's on like King Kong,” Luke said, raising his longsword, rushing toward the hill giants. “Die, you big fat pieces of shit!” As soon as Luke got to the giants he swung his longsword, slicing one of them across the chest. -22 HP floated out of it.