Very Superstitious

by Delany, Shannon

  The current Alpha. My leader. Luna’s father.

  I bowed my head as he loosened my gag. I was ashamed and horrified, yet still angry. This man—the one I’d vowed to serve all my life—had ripped away the one thing I cared about most in the world. He had done it without a second thought. How could I go on serving someone who could willingly be so cruel? He knew I loved Luna. He knew Luna loved me. But it didn’t matter. The pack came first. The pack always came first to the Alpha.

  “You are a disgrace,” Lupine spat out, his green eyes flashing fire. Luna had inherited her eyes from him. It pained me to look at them now, so I turned my head away. “You have flaunted our laws, tempted my daughter,” he raged on. “You are a discredit to wolves everywhere.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I’m left with no choice. If you break protocol again, you’re out of the pack for good.”

  I wanted to laugh. He truly believed he was threatening me by his words. But what reason on Earth would I have to remain in the pack now? Now that Luna was as good as gone? I struggled to my feet, ignoring the tug of rough rope against my bare skin. I was bleeding, I realized vaguely, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

  “Don’t worry, old man,” I ground out, staring him straight in the eye—yet another act forbidden by our laws. One should always bow one’s head in subjugation to one’s Alpha, after all. But what did it matter now? “After tonight, you’ll never see me again.”

  He was startled, taken aback. He hadn’t expected me—a born Beta—to say something so strong. He assumed I’d retreat with my tail between my legs like I’d done so many times before. But those days were over now. Bowing to authority had gained me nothing but a broken heart. I would never submit again.

  “Now, Orpheus,” he began. “There’s no need to—”

  I didn’t wait for him to finish. There was nothing he could say to change my mind now. Instead, I allowed the fever to consume me—hot and blinding and fast—my body writhing and convulsing as I made a violent shift. Lupine watched with disappointed green eyes. Then he backed away quietly, shaking his head.

  “I see you’ve made your choice,” he commented, his voice sounding old and weary. “I hope it serves you well.” He paused, then sighed deeply, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wedding to plan.”

  And with that excruciating last verbal jab, he turned and walked away like his daughter had before him. This time I didn’t wait to see if he’d turned around—to give me that one last look. I took off running, as fast as my four legs could take me. Trying to outrun the pain, the grief, the misery—the girl I needed desperately, but knew I could never have.

  There was only one thing to do now. One place to go.

  ***

  “You have returned.”

  The witch regarded me with beady, yellowed eyes, her gaze so piercing it was as if she could see into my very soul. I shuffled from foot to foot on her creaky wooden porch and shivered, even though the night was warm.

  “Yes,” I said, forcing my voice to stay steady.

  “And where is your lady love?”

  “She’s not … she’s not coming.” God, that hurt to say out loud. “It’s just me.”

  “I hope you’re not expecting a refund.” She narrowed her eyes.

  “No. That’s fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

  “Of course, of course, my dear boy.” With a gnarled hand, she ushered me into her cottage. I followed, my nose wrinkling at the foul odor coming from the steaming cauldron at the center of the room. To say the place wasn’t properly ventilated would be a shocking understatement. It could also have been a contender for Hoarders. Jars stacked high on almost every available surface, dried plants hanging on every inch of wall. I gingerly stepped over something that probably contained eye of newt, then dodged right to avoid toe of frog.

  The witch shooed a large black cat off of a rickety wooden chair, then offered me a seat. I took it, albeit reluctantly, after failing to identify why it was so damp. It didn’t matter, I told myself. Nothing mattered anymore.

  “So you want to extract the wolf from inside of you,” she said, once I was seated. “Become a full-blooded human.”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “And you know that once the spell is done, it cannot be undone. You will remain human forever, even if you change your mind. A frail, helpless human.” She gave me a pointed look. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

  I hung my head. I’d come up with this plan originally as a way to help Luna escape her destiny. If we became human, we’d be cast out of the pack. Luna wouldn’t have to marry Torrid and I could keep her safe. We could live together, forever, and no one would try to tear us apart.

  Sure, I’d miss parts of being a wolf. But I couldn’t stand to live in a world that valued only strength and size—and forgave brutality against its own people. In the human world it didn’t matter if you were the strongest or largest or most violent. They rewarded intelligence and creativity—loyalty and love. Luna and I could have thrived amongst the humans. We could have finally been free.

  I still wanted it—wanted so badly to become a human and live in their world. To be treated as an equal. To be free of the pack. To choose my profession, my hobbies, my wife. I wanted it more than anything in the world.

  But then I thought of Luna. Of the bruise I saw on her cheek. Of all the other bruises I knew I couldn’t see, hidden beneath her clothes or under carefully applied makeup. And then I thought of all the bruises that weren’t there yet, but would be soon, if I drank this potion and left her behind for good.

  I sighed. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. Any happiness I might have found as a human would be wiped out by the guilt I’d feel for selfishly walking away. After all, how many times had I promised to protect her? How many nights had we laid under the stars, with me professing how I’d keep her safe? Now was my chance—perhaps my only chance—to prove it, once and for all. How could I possibly deny it now? Deny her?

  “I’ve changed my mind,” I told the witch. “Here’s what I want to do.”

  ***

  LUNA

  Everything had been prepared for my wedding day. Presents were stacked to the ceiling, and the band was playing a merry tune. The tables were decorated in whites and silvers and piled high with a bountiful feast. After the ceremony, the guests would gather around the table and eat their human fill—then shift for a hunt through the forest. I’d always loved that part of weddings—something about running as a pack. Alone, yet together. The wind whipping through your fur, stinging your eyes and stealing your breath. It was exhilarating, to say the least.

  From what I could tell, the entire pack had turned out for the wedding, with everyone dressed in their Sunday best. The girls had flowers in their hair, and the boys sported shiny silver cuff links on their jackets. They joked and laughed as they hustled to their seats in the outdoor garden. Soon, it would be standing room only. Not surprising—the future Alpha marrying the current Alpha’s daughter—well, that was a wedding of the century.

  I’d been pledged to Torrid from the day I was born. My mother would boast that it was a match made in heaven. And for a long time, I thought she might be right. He was handsome, strong—and fierce, so fierce—just like my father. It wasn’t until later that I realized what that fierceness meant for me.

  I still remember crying to my mother, the first time it happened. She pulled up her sleeve and revealed the deep ugly scars that marred her own white skin. When I gasped in horror, she gave me a sad smile. It wasn’t the Alpha’s fault, she assured me. The wolf made them do things their human side would never do. And we, as their women, needed to bear this secret for the good of the pack. We could never speak of it to anyone. She told me to consider each bruise—each scar—as a badge of honor.

  I tried to do just that: To stay strong and embrace my destiny. To be proud of who I was and proud of my role in helping the pack. I did it pretty well, I think. Until that fateful day Orpheus caught me bathing in the r
iver. When his eyes fell to the pink and purple bruises staining my back.

  Shame had flooded me as I’d rushed to cover myself up, excuses spilling from my lips. I tried to tell him it was just our way, but he wouldn’t accept that. Couldn’t accept that. And from that day forward, he never looked at me the same way—eyes once filled with love and affection, were now forever rimmed with pity.

  It tore me apart more than Torrid’s claws ever could.

  I’d never given Orpheus reason to hope. He’d always known I was meant for Torrid. And even though we played at the fantasy of the two of us running away together someday—I never thought he’d actually come up with a practical way to do it. To go as far as finding a witch in the forest and commissioning her with the task of creating a potion for us to share—was incredible. The poison would kill off the wolf and give us a chance to be free.

  It was so tempting. To run away and leave all of this behind. To be with someone who wouldn’t hurt me. Who would treat me as an equal. But all along I knew Orpheus was only kidding himself. They’d never let me go. If we ran, they would follow. If we killed the wolf within us, they would kill us. My mind flashed to visions of my father and Torrid, jaws snapping as they ripped Orpheus from limb to limb. I shuddered. I could try to live without him by my side; but I could never live, knowing he died for me.

  So I’d been a coward. I’d turned my face away from his desperate eyes. I told him I didn’t love him—that I didn’t care. Even though nothing could be further from the truth.

  And now he was gone. Probably heading to the witch to shed his wolf skin without me. To start a new life as a human. And I’d never see him again.

  My heart wrenched and the tears began to flow. I tried to imagine a life without Orpheus by my side. I’d always thought, selfishly, that maybe he’d stick around. That even if we couldn’t be together, we could remain close friends. But I had been lying to myself. And I’d lost my best friend—my true love—because of it.

  “What have I done?” I whispered.

  Was there still a chance to make things right?

  ***

  ORPHEUS

  Panting heavily, my tongue lolling out the side of my mouth, I raced to the village as if the devil himself was on my heels. My muscles rippled under my thick fur as my powerful legs easily cut through the forest. I had to admit, it felt good. To be so fast, and so strong, and so big. Finally worthy of Luna’s love. The witch had done all she’d promised and more. And now it was up to me—to get to the church on time.

  The village had emptied out by the time I arrived; everyone was down at the outdoor pavilion by the river where they held the wedding ceremonies. My ears picked up the strains of organ music ushering people to their seats, and I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn’t too late. The ceremony had not yet begun. There was still time to make this work.

  I crept through the empty streets, down to the pavilion below. When I reached the spot, I hid behind a nearby tree, assessing the situation. Luna was nowhere to be seen, probably still in her dressing room. Meanwhile, Torrid was lounging on the front stage, laughing with one of his groomsmen. A snarl rippled up my throat at the sight of him looking so cocky and sure of himself. He thought he had his entire life mapped out.

  He was in for a big surprise.

  The organ faded to silence. The minister stepped up to the pulpit. They were about to begin. It was now or never.

  I charged, leaping down the aisle and reaching the stage in two seconds flat. The crowd gasped in horror as Torrid looked down at me with frightened eyes. They didn’t recognize me, I realized, in my new skin. They’d never imagine little beta Orpheus to be so fierce.

  “This is for Luna,” I growled, leaping onto Torrid and knocking him backward, teeth sinking into his neck. Blood exploded in my mouth, delicious salty blood as I ripped out his throat.

  Behind me I could hear screams of panic and fear as the other pack members looked on, but predictably, no one made a move to stop me from my rampage. Our rules were clear. An Alpha challenge was a one-on-one fight. The winner would rule the pack. The last thing they wanted to do was get on my bad side—if I ended up becoming their new leader.

  I could feel Torrid struggle beneath me, trying to shift to his wolf self. But his human side was too weak to transition; I’d caught him off guard and now it was too late. I felt a shred of guilt prickle at my insides. For taking a life like this. But then I reminded myself of Luna’s bruises—her scars. This wolf deserved to die. And die badly. I ripped into him again, this time tearing out his guts with my teeth.

  It didn’t take long for his struggles to fade and his body to collapse, limp on the stage. I pulled away, shaking it off, dismissing my rage. I could feel the stares of the other pack members on my back, watching and waiting to see what I’d do next. I turned to them, blood still dripping from my fangs; I stared them down with no sense of remorse. They were just as guilty, I told myself. They’d let her suffer and had done nothing.

  One by one, they sank to their knees. Letting me know they accepted my challenge. That I would be their new Alpha now. We stared at one another, locked in a stalemate and I wondered what I was supposed to do next.

  It was Lupine who finally stepped forward, his face grim. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes widening in realization. “It’s you,” he whispered. For a moment, I wondered if he’d try to challenge me himself. But his face held a shadow of fear and he kept himself firmly in human form.

  “By the laws of our people, you have proven yourself worthy,” he said at last. “From this day forward, you will take Torrid’s place by my side. My home is yours. My daughter is yours.”

  His words were meant to appease, but they only served to turn my stomach. Luna wasn’t some possession, I wanted to argue, to be sold to the strongest wolf. She should have the freedom to choose her own mate. Or no mate at all, if that’s what she preferred. I wanted her to choose me, of course, but I loved her too much to insist on that. All that mattered to me was that now, she would be safe.

  I wanted to say all of this and more—but I was having difficulty shifting back to human form. For some unknown reason, the wolf inside of me—this strong, powerful wolf—was refusing to surrender control. Strange. Maybe I needed to calm down more. Maybe the rage was still burning too hot to shift.

  A girl ran down the aisle, her eyes wide and her face white. The crowd turned to her with questioning eyes as she stopped in front of the stage.

  “What is it?” Lupine asked, voicing the words I couldn’t say.

  “It’s Luna!” Tupi cried. “She’s gone.”

  ***

  Where was she?

  I stopped short in the middle of a clearing and breathed in deeply, trying to locate Luna’s scent. According to Tupi, she’d been all dressed and ready to go, waiting in her bridal tent for the ceremony to begin. Tupi had left for five minutes—to go get her a glass of water and when she returned, Luna had disappeared. There was no note or any clue to say where she’d gone. It had all happened before my little performance with Torrid, so I knew it had nothing to do with that. So why had she fled?

  I sniffed the ground, desperate for a trace of her. I had to find her—to let her know that she no longer had to run. That Torrid was dead—that she was safe. That we could be together, forever now, and no one could tear us apart. I wondered what she’d say when she heard the news. When she learned what I’d done for her.

  Suddenly, my nose picked up her scent. The beautiful, sexy, lilac scent that clung to her, even when she was in wolf form. The wind carried it like a precious artifact, through the air and straight to my heart. She was nearby.

  I picked up the pace, running as fast as I could, trying to ignore the fear that prickled at my skin. I didn’t know why I was so anxious—this was Luna after all. My true love. The girl I would spend the rest of my life with.

  I stopped short, realizing, in my desperate chase after her scent, I’d somehow arrived at the witch’s front door. Confused, I sniffed again
. Sure enough, Luna’s scent danced amongst the otherwise rancid odor coming from inside. Again, I tried to shift back into human form—so I could knock on the door—but to no avail. I settled for scratching with my claws.

  A moment later the door creaked open. The witch looked down at me with beady eyes. Her cat wound around her hairy legs. “You again,” she said, not looking surprised.

  What have you done to Luna? I tried to ask. But it came out as nothing more than an uncertain whine. I tried again to shift, my heart pounding dangerously in my chest. Still, I remained a wolf. I looked up at her questioningly, fear threatening to consume me. What was going on here? Why couldn’t I shift back?

  To my horror, she started to laugh.

  “You wanted to be an alpha,” she reminded me. “And so you are. An alpha wolf. Don’t tell me you’re already having regrets.”

  I stared up at her, my legs threatening to give out from under me as panic throttled my insides. What was she talking about? Was this some kind of sick joke?

  An alpha wolf, my mind echoed. Had I said wolf? I meant werewolf, of course. She had to have known I meant werewolf, even if I hadn’t exactly said the words.

  “Oh and by the way, your lady love stopped by,” she added with a sick cackle. “Seems she had a change of heart. You’ll be happy to know, I gave her the potion you paid for.”

  Oh god. No.

  Change me back! I demanded. But the words came out as nothing more than a snarl. The witch gave me an amused look and shook her head, reaching down to pick up her cat and pet it softly.

  Fury consuming me, I lunged at her, teeth bared, jaws ready to snap and break her bones into a million pieces. But she slammed the door in my face before I could reach her. Bouncing off the wood, I fell backward, crying out as pain shot up my leg. I saw stars, the breath stolen from my lungs.

  When I finally looked up, her cottage had disappeared. As if she’d never been there at all.