Shattered Dreams

by Laura Landon

  The hint of defiance in her expression made him want to laugh. Instead, he swung down from his horse and walked over to her. “The horses are tired. Let’s sit beneath the tree for a moment and let them rest.”

  The first hint of panic crossed her face. “I don’t have my cane.”

  “You don’t need your cane.”

  He lifted his arms to help her from her horse but he didn’t touch her. First, he wanted an indication that she would allow him to assist her. He stared into her eyes as a myriad of emotions played inside their gleaming ebony depths; emotions running the gamut from panic to fear to excitement to acceptance.

  He almost thought she was going to refuse him. The slight movement of her head indicated she wanted to tell him she had no intention of falling into his arms and letting him hold her, lift her, help her. In the end, though, she leaned forward and rested her hands on his shoulders.

  With his hands around her narrow waist, he slowly lifted her from her horse. He was suddenly aware of how small she was, how petite, and how light. Before, only her strengths had been noticeable: her courage, her endurance, her resilience. All the qualities he’d admired from the minute they’d met were inner qualities.

  He held her close to him. The pounding in his chest and the thickness in his groin told him everything about her on the outside had the power to affect him too.

  He kept her suspended in mid-air, her forearms resting on his shoulders. Her mouth formed a perfectly kissable O, and if he lowered her another few inches, her lips would be close enough to kiss.

  He brought her down slowly, reveling in the feel of her body as it skimmed against his. When her toes touched the ground, he lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. He kissed her before she had time to gain her balance, forcing her to wrap her arms around his neck and hold onto him.

  It was unfair to take advantage of her like that, but he wanted her at a disadvantage. He wanted her to have to hold onto him for support. It was important that she realized she could rely on him, and he would keep her safe.

  Their lips met and held, the kiss more intense than the one they’d shared the night before, yet not so desperate as to frighten her.

  He pressed his lips to hers more firmly, drinking from her, then he angled his head to deepen the kiss. Her arms tightened around his neck and she held him close.

  Brent deepened his kiss even more, tasting the sweetness of her lips, reveling in the soft wisps of air that brushed against his cheek, taking in the small moans of pleasure that came from deep within her. It had never been like this for him before. He’d never kissed a woman who possessed the power this woman had over him.

  And he knew, even if he searched the world over, he’d never find a woman to equal her.

  He gave her a last brief kiss, then pulled away before his kisses took him so far he wasn’t able to separate himself from her.

  Their gasping breaths came in harsh, ragged rushes and he looked into her face, not sure he wanted to evaluate her reaction to his kisses.

  But when he did, his heart swelled with joy. The expression on her face evidenced more than he had hoped for. There was a dark glaze of passion in her eyes that told him he’d taken her to a height she wasn’t aware she could reach.

  Then, at the moment he thought he could rejoice in his accomplishments, a look of confusion clouded her eyes.

  “Are you all right?” He held her steady so she could keep her balance.

  She nodded, then tightened her grip on his arm before she took a small step away from him. She would have walked away – or run if she had two good legs. He could read her desperation to escape in her eyes but she couldn’t walk unassisted. He held her close and let her lean on him, the same as she relied on her cane.

  He knew to walk on her right side and led her to a shady spot beneath the giant oak tree that had been the finish line of their race. He helped her sit on the ground, then took a step back and looked down on her.

  Her gaze hadn’t left his. She studied him as if he’d grown two heads and sprouted horns.

  “Let me tie the horses so they don’t wander off, then you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

  He tied the horses to a nearby hedge then walked back to where he’d left her and sat down beside her on the grass. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours.”

  She tilted her head and looked at him. She opened her mouth, then closed it again.

  “Come on. Out with it.” Her hesitation caused the nerves to zing inside him.

  She took a breath as if working up the nerve to answer him. Then, in a rush of words she asked, “Why did you kiss me?”

  He couldn’t hide his surprise. “Why? Because I wanted to. Because it seemed the natural thing to do. Because I couldn’t pass up such a perfect opportunity when I had you in my arms.” His eyes narrowed as he studied her. “Why do you think I kissed you?”

  She shook her head as if at a loss to find an answer. “I don’t know.”

  Her cheeks darkened a deep shade of red and she lowered her gaze to her lap. He waited, knowing she had more to say.

  “Did one of my brothers ask you to...to...kiss me?”

  He couldn’t stop the bark of laughter. “Oh, Lady Elyssa. If Harrison or one of your brothers knew I’d just kissed you, I probably wouldn’t have any teeth left in my head. Or even a head left on my shoulders, for that matter. No,” he said in perfect honesty, “none of your brothers suggested I kiss you.”

  “Then why did you do it?”

  “Do I have to have a reason?”

  “Of course you do.”

  “Didn’t you like it?” he asked.

  Her cheeks turned even redder. “You know I did.”

  “Then don’t worry about why I kissed you but when I’ll kiss you again.”

  Her gaze shot to his. “There won’t be another time. I won’t allow it.”

  “You won’t?”

  “No. I don’t want to be kissed again.”

  “By me? Or by anyone?”

  “By anyone. But especially you.”

  “May I ask why?”

  “I think you know the answer to that.”

  “Perhaps, but humor me. Explain it to me.”

  She hesitated, then licked her just-kissed lips. “What happens when you kiss me isn’t normal.”

  “What if I told you it is?”

  She shook her head. “You know it isn’t.”

  “Very well.” Brent leaned back on his elbows and tipped his head to the sun as if he were completely relaxed. “If you believe it isn’t, there’s probably nothing I can say or do to convince you otherwise.”

  She nodded, then looked at him. “How do you feel when we kiss?”

  He slowly turned to face her. “As if the sun burst into flames above me and giant fireballs landed at my feet. As if the top I’m riding has refused to stop spinning. As if my legs are made of liquid lava and I’m attempting to climb a mountainside.” He turned his gaze and looked at her. “How do you feel when we kiss?”

  She lowered her gaze to her lap. “The same.”

  He smiled.

  ”Is this the way it always is?” she asked a few seconds later. Her voice came out softer than usual.

  His breath caught. He knew the answer he needed to give her would only reinforce her belief that she was right. “No.”

  “I knew it. That’s because what happens when you kiss me isn’t normal.”

  He stretched out on the grass and crossed his hands behind his head. She was right. If he’d have experienced the raging heat soaring through his body now the first time he’d kissed a girl, he’d have been married years ago. He hadn’t reacted to anyone’s kiss like this ever before.

  He stared up at the clouds as they scurried across the sky and imagined them turning dark and menacing. As ferocious and dangerous as Harrison’s temper might turn if he discovered what he’d done.

  “Under no circumstances,” Fellingsworth had ordered, “will
you risk breaking her heart. If you do...Well, with four brothers who will risk their lives to protect her, the penalty should be vividly clear.”

  And it was. So, what the bloody hell was he doing kissing her?

  He turned to his side and looked up at her. She watched him, the look on her face serene, yet filled with the confusion she’d expressed earlier. The blood drained from his head.

  Bloody hell. He was falling in love with her.

  “What do your brothers have planned for today?”

  His change of subjects confused her for a moment.

  “The men are going to tour the estate, and Patience and Lilly and I will give the women a tour of the gardens. Then this afternoon, there’s a game of croquet scheduled, followed by tea on the east terrace.”

  “Come for a ride with me. I’ll borrow one of your brother’s carriages and you can show me your favorite places to escape to on the estate.”

  Her eyes opened wide. “We can’t. My sisters expect me to—“

  “Your sisters can manage without you.”

  She shook her head. “Our absence would be noticed.”

  She was right, damn it. “Then allow me to be your partner for the lawn games.”

  Her gaze didn’t waver. “I won’t be there for the lawn games.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I have to oversee the preparations for the tea.”

  “Surely your staff can see to that.”

  “Perhaps, but I...I don’t enjoy outdoor activities.”

  He wanted to laugh. “I can’t imagine anyone who enjoys the out-of-doors more than you.”

  “I told you,” she said, her voice containing a sharpness that was unusual for her. “I don’t play.”

  “Nonsense. Are you afraid we’ll lose? We won’t, you know. With me as your partner, we’re guaranteed to trounce the others.”

  “No, we won’t. Because I don’t play. I can’t!”

  She pointed to her right ankle as if that explained everything. And it did.

  He struggled to find the air he needed to breathe.

  How could he have forgotten?

  Chapter 9

  Elly sat on one of the chairs the servants had moved to the terrace and watched their guests finish their game. Her brothers had always been competitive. Even Lily and Patience had developed an intense aversion to losing whenever they competed. Today was no different. If anything, the rivalry seemed even more intense.

  With the guests added to the mix, there seemed to be more impetus to win. Even the females each of her brothers partnered seemed intent on winning. The laughing banter and teasing remarks made Elly smile. Everyone was enjoying themselves – especially Charfield.

  She tried not to look at him.

  “He’s even more handsome than everyone says, isn’t he?”

  Elly looked up to see Cassie walking toward her. “I suppose so,” she answered as if Cassie’s question were inconsequential. “Have you and Mr. Waverley finished your round already?”

  Cassie laughed. “Cousin Jeremy isn’t nearly as determined as your brothers. The other couples passed us, so he saw no reason to continue.”

  “My brothers are quite intimidating.”

  “That’s because they are all so expert at the game. Cousin Jeremy doesn’t enjoy competing against someone unless he is assured of winning.”

  Elly’s brows darted upward. “That doesn’t sound very complimentary.”

  “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I’m frankly surprised that Jeremy even accepted the invitation to attend. Other than an occasional trip to London, he spends nearly all his time running the estate.”

  “Is that what he’s always done? Even before Everett died?”

  Cassie paused. “Everett wasn’t cut out to handle such a huge responsibility. Thankfully, his father realized it when Everett was small and taught Cousin Jeremy the skills required to run the estate.”

  “I don’t know who was more fortunate, then. Waverley, because his uncle took him in after his parents died. Or your husband, because he had someone knowledgeable to run the estate.”

  Elly struggled to put a positive slant on Waverley’s position at Lathamton Manor. They’d been neighbors forever, but she’d never developed a fondness for him. The kindest remark she could make was that at least Cassie had someone to help her after her husband died of a fever.

  At least there was an heir who would inherit everything.

  A lump formed in Elly’s throat when she thought of the little boy who was now the Earl of Lathamton. The little boy who had inherited so much at such an early age, yet not nearly as much as he would have if...

  But it did no good to wish for something that would never be. At least Waverley would never inherit the title and Cassie and her son would always be taken care.

  “Where is Waverley now?” Elly scanned the group of guests but didn’t see him.

  Cassie nodded to the far side of the terrace where a refreshment table had been set up. Jeremy Waverley was refilling his glass from one of Harrison’s brandy decanters.

  “Ah, not a gracious loser.”

  “No.”

  Elly turned her attention back to Cassie and found her friend studying her.

  “Which one of your sisters do you think sent me the invitation?”

  Elly swallowed hard. “You think it was one of my sisters?”

  “It must have been. I know you wouldn’t have sent it.”

  Elly experienced a stabbing of guilt. “Perhaps I would have if for no other reason than to give you an opportunity to come.”

  Cassie’s gaze narrowed. “It’s too late to play matchmaker between Harrison and me. Any chance for reconciliation was destroyed four years ago.”

  “And you cannot forgive him?”

  “Nor can he forgive me.”

  “Perhaps he doesn’t know all there is to know.”

  Cassie’s gaze hardened. “He knows all he needs to.”

  Elly heard the warning in her friend’s voice. She was aware that Elly knew her secret, but neither of them ever spoke of it. Perhaps now was the time.

  “Maybe if you told Harrison—“

  Cassie held up her hand to stop Elly’s words. “Don’t, Elly. It’s too late. Four years too late.”

  Elly wanted to defend Harrison but wasn’t sure what words would help. He’d jumped to a conclusion when the scandal broke and refused to believe he might have been wrong. For as perfect as Harrison and Cassie had always been for each other, Elly was afraid Cassie was right. It might be too late for any kind of reconciliation.

  “Is an invitation all you sent?”

  Elly frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Cassie shook her head. “Never mind.”

  Elly knew she should cease her questions but couldn’t. There was more she needed to know. “Does Waverley have feelings for you?”

  The corners of Cassie’s mouth lifted. “I’m not sure Jeremy’s capable of having feelings for another person. All that matters is the power it gives him to have control over Lathamton Estate. Marriage to me would add to his power. He knows Father left me Hollyvine Keep and he would have control of the property after we married.”

  Cassie kept her gaze focused on the lawn where the game was nearing an end. From the rise in laughter and jovial teasing, the outcome was close.

  Elly followed Cassie’s gaze to where Harrison prepared to hit the blue colored wooden ball with his mallet.

  “Do you remember anything from that night?” Elly asked.

  Cassie shook her head. “I’ve considered a dozen different explanations but nothing makes sense. All I know for certain is that my brother’s life was destroyed that night along with my father’s.”

  Cassie closed her eyes as if she didn’t want to discuss that time again. Elly didn’t blame her. The events that night had ruined more lives than she wanted to think about.

  A loud cheer echoed from the lawn and she turned to watch. Harrison hit his ball with his mallet, then smi
led when his ball went through the final wickets.

  “Who won?” Elly asked when her siblings and their guests rushed across the terrace.

  She’d directed her question to George, who stood closest to her with his partner and chosen guest, Lady Brianna. Jules, however, interrupted, the way he’d often done since he was a youngster.

  “Harrison did. But Charfield gave him a run for it. They were tied until the end, then Harrison made a shot from far out. You should have seen it, Elly. Harrison had the devil’s own luck. It curved at the very last moment and went through the wickets and hit the stake.”

  “We were playing partners,” Aunt Esther said, fanning her face with her lace handkerchief, “and I’m afraid I wasn’t as much help to poor Lord Charfield as I should have been.”

  “Nonsense, Lady Blume. I was honored to have your assistance. It was because of you that we came so close to winning.”

  “Thank you, dear boy. I only wish that were true.”

  Elly tried to keep from turning to where Charfield stood but her gaze seemed to have a will of its own. She turned her head, her gaze drawn to him like a magnet to metal, and her breath caught.

  He stood in a relaxed pose with one hip resting on top of the stone railing and his arms crossed over his chest. He’d removed his jacket and wore only a waistcoat and a lawn shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The sight of him standing there was magnificent and her heart stuttered.

  “Have you seen the new gazebo Elly had built down by the lake?” Aunt Esther asked Cassie when everyone had taken a seat at one of the many round tables set up at various spots on the terrace.

  There was room for six at each table and Elly and Cassie had been joined by Aunt Gussie, Aunt Esther, Miss Amelia Hastings, and Lady Hannah Brammwell. The two young ladies were both deep in whispered conversation and Elly knew they were no doubt discussing her two brothers’ admirable traits. Elly was glad Jules and Spence weren’t near enough to overhear them. They were confident enough of their effect on women as it was.

  The men had mostly gathered around the cart where something stronger than lemonade and punch was being poured.

  “No.” Cassie picked up her glass from the table. “Elly told me about it, but I’ve not seen it yet.”