Three, in fact.
This was something that they drilled into our heads during the Badlands discussions.
“If you learn nothing else in this class,” I recalled the teacher saying, “remember that you do not want to tangle with demons, dragons, and…”
I blanked.
What the hell was the third one? Obviously it was important because the teacher said it was really important.
Shit.
Well, I’d already dealt with demons before. They weren’t a lot of fun. In fact, had it not been for Warren’s void wall back when we faced those beasts, I would have been pushing up daisies. That made me wonder where they went when they entered that void wall. If it was down here, I was screwed. In fact, my entire team was screwed. I doubted demons forgot things like that. I wouldn’t.
Dating dragons, or a dragon, was something I’d done, but fighting them was new. They were purported to be cunning of mind and fierce in battle, but the three juveniles seemed easily fooled to me. The image returned of that one hovering over me and releasing a stream of fire. I shuddered.
That’s when I remembered that my shorts weren’t exactly clean.
I took a moment to remove and discard them.
Not one of my finest moments.
I also took off my jacket and threw it behind some rocks. No amount of dry cleaning would erase the memory of Harvey and Turbo hurling on it.
Another glance down that tunnel told me that it was time to go.
Whatever was down there, it wasn’t bound to be a good thing, but it was the best chance I had of me making it back to my crew in one piece. If I ran back outside, I’d be flamed, and without Griff’s shield to help protect me…well, I didn’t want to think about it.
“Let’s do this, Ian,” I said after taking a calming breath. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
In response, I heard a distant roar, followed by a scream, followed by a crunch.
“Huh,” I said, thinking that maybe going outside might just be the better plan.
A few steps back toward the entrance changed my mind on that, though.
The three dragons were flying back toward the cave I was in and I had no means of causing an avalanche like the mages did. And if those silly birds were flying back after me, I could only assume that my mages did a bang-up job on blocking the cave they’d escaped to. A quick zoom verified that their cave was indeed crumbled.
It was time to make a run for it.
“If you make it out of here alive, you’re going to take a refresher course on geography,” I hissed an instant before I started down the hill that headed deeper into the darkness.
Chapter 15
I knew the dragons wouldn’t be able to get down the tunnel in their bird form, but even in their human shape they were known to be deadly. They weren’t considered the rulers of the Badlands for nothing.
But if memory served, demons ruled the deeper levels. Or was it that….
Nope. Try as I might, I just couldn’t remember what the hell that third creature was called. Nothing came to mind in the form of an image either.
I continued making my way down the hill until a haze of light began radiating below.
The third creature I was trying to remember was some kind of lizard or snake. That sounded about right, anyway, but without a name or a face to go with it, I wasn’t 100% certain. Chances were that my mind was just searching for anything at this point. Pretty soon it’d start suggesting that there was some Netherworld pixie that was more fierce than demons.
“Wait,” I said, worried. “That’s not it, right?”
I shook my head. No, it couldn’t be. There was something else. It was deadly or clever or ruthless or…something.
That was dumb. Obviously it was deadly. If it weren’t, how could it rule the deeper levels? Assuming it did. Something told me that demons were still the top of the chart down here. Maybe.
Gah!
“He’s gone this way,” I heard a voice say from behind me.
“No shit, asshole,” another voice replied. “Where else could he have gone?”
“Shut up.”
Great, so they were on my tail faster than I’d expected. I had to pick up my pace.
Dragons behind me and hell below.
Perfect.
“My point is that we were caught off his trail by the soiled underpants and suit jacket he’d put behind the rocks.”
“Oh, right.”
I frowned and continued moving forward. Obviously they could pick up my scent easily enough. Not that the scent I left behind was all that difficult to track. Regardless, trying to hide in a crevice as they walked on by was likely an exercise in futility.
Then again, I could just wait them out and unleash Boomy on them. That would be easy, actually.
“Make sure to keep your protective plating up,” said one of them. “He has that infernal weapon with him.”
So much for that.
The heat was increasing with each step down into the abyss. I guess this made sense considering I was effectively walking down to hell, in a non-metaphorical sense. I mean, it’s not like the hell that people think they’ll spend an eternity in or anything, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that hell was based on this one. It smelled of sulfur, there were beasts and demons down here, and if you weren’t careful, you’d end up in a pit of fire, get captured and tortured, and/or become the meal of some creature that would devour you slowly over many days.
Fun stuff.
“He’s not too far ahead,” one of the dragons said, signaling me to pick up my pace.
The light was brightening, so I was getting closer and closer to the first circle.
Ah hah! The basic geography of the nine levels came flooding back. So schooling wasn’t wasted on me, after all.
The word “circle” had triggered the memory, and that led me to the name “Dante,” the poet who wrote about the journey through hell.
He got one thing right: There were nine circles, assuming you went all the way through to the bottom of the place….Something I had no intention of doing.
That’s about where his accuracy failed, though.
In Dante’s rendition, each level represented a sin archetype: limbo, lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, heresy, violence, fraud, and treachery. These were drilled into our heads in class because they were essentially correct, just not in the way Dante thought. He pictured them as rings where those who served the various manifestations of the sins would spend their eternities, subjected to incessant torment. In reality, each level represented those things due to the beings who ruled said level, as they held those particular habits in high regard. There was no “sin” about it, just monsters doing what they did naturally.
This was perfect because I had no intention of going down through all of those levels. I just wanted to get to the tunnel that led to the cave my team was in. Once we were back together, we’d head to Charlotte’s tower, get Warren back, and return to the Overworld.
Fortunately, I was on level one, which meant that everything here was just hanging out. They were slow, complacent, and couldn’t give two shits about anything.
Giant slugs.
Sure, they were goopy and grotesque. I mean, imagine your average slug, but ten feet tall. Think of the trail of slime that sucker would leave and you’ve got the general idea of what my first step onto level one felt like.
And that meant I was destroying yet another pair of dress shoes.
Why did I even bother to look nice?
“I heard a footstep press into the muck,” said one of the dragons. “He’s on the level. Let’s go!”
No more time to plan.
I picked up my pace, though it felt like I was running on an icy surface. Using this to my advantage, I ran toward an angled area and began sliding down like I was on a skateboard.
Unfortunately, this didn’t last too long because the slime started to build up until it covered my shoe. This slowed my pace considerably, but it didn’
t stop me.
What did stop me was a massive slug. The thing made a loud whining sound as I slammed into its side and bounced off.
I landed right in a massive pile of slug-gel.
It was all I could do not to lose my lunch as I spat out the bitter-tasting substance and wiped it from my eyes. Honestly, it was like I’d fallen into an enormous jar of petroleum jelly.
When I’d finally cleared my eyes of the gunk, I looked up to see the slug’s eye-stalks looking straight down at me.
This just wasn’t my day.
Chapter 16
I went for Boomy but it just slipped out of my hands like a wet bar of soap. Honestly, it was worse than zombie goop.
“Why did you strike me?” a voice said.
My eyes shot wide open.
“You can talk?”
“Not like you, no,” the slug replied. “I am using telepathy. Were I to use regular speech, you would not understand me.”
“But you can understand me?” I asked and then realized that I wasn’t speaking aloud either. “Oh. Wicked.”
“You have no idea,” it said flatly. “Now, why did you strike me?”
“Oh, sorry about that. I’m being chased by dragons and—”
“We do not like dragons,” the slug interrupted, moving one of its eye-stalks to look up in the direction from whence I came. “Can you breathe in the essence?”
“The what?”
“That which you are lying in.”
Its left eye was focused on the hill I’d slid down, but the other one moved to point at the jelly I was in.
“Ah. No, not a chance.”
“How long can you hold your breath?”
“A minute or two, I guess. Why?”
“That will have to do,” the slug said and then began sliding toward me. “You may wish to begin now.”
“Oh, shit,” I said, gulping in a lungful of air before its massive body covered me.
It wasn’t as heavy as I’d expected, but I certainly had no desire to meet my doom in this situation.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked as I fought to slow my heart rate.
“Protecting you from the dragons. They are coming. Remain silent.”
I didn’t want to remain silent, but what was I going to do? If I kept pestering the thing, it’d either turn me over to the dragons and be done with me or it’d take too long to shoo my hunters away. In either case, I’d be a goner, so I kept my mouth—or brain—shut and focused on staying calm.
“You there!”
It was one of the dragons. I couldn’t actually hear it speaking, but apparently the slug was channeling everything around it through to me. Maybe it was because we were connected physically? I had no way of knowing, but I listened.
“Yes,” replied the slug.
“We’re looking for a human that came through here,” the dragon said. “It looks to have slid directly to this spot, in fact.”
“Yes,” the slug said.
I could feel the anger welling up in the dragon. “Where the hell did he go?”
“Speak or we will gut you where you stand,” said another dragon.
The slug was not afraid, which was quite impressive. Actually, this entire ordeal was pretty incredible. How was I able to hear this conversation and feel the emotions of those around the slug? One thing was for certain, I was never going to look at the little guys the same way again when I saw them in the rain.
All of the dragons pulled out swords.
How did I know this?
“Answer us now or we will slice you in two,” the main dragon said in a voice laced with venom. “Where is the human?”
I had the distinct impression that the slug’s eye-stalks had turned to point away from its current location.
“He went that-a-way.”
“Good.”
The blades all went back into their sheaths and the dragons ran away.
A few moments later, the slug moved off of me and I fought to pull in as much oxygen as possible. I didn’t want to be too loud because it may have attracted the dragons back to our position, so every time I coughed I had to stick my head back in the goop.
Lovely.
“Where did you send them?” I asked after a few moments.
Its stalks moved to point in the direction that they’d gone.
“Where does that lead?”
“It circles around and returns about halfway up to the surface from the direction you came,” he replied. “They will return in about ten minutes.”
Damn. I was hoping I could run right back out to the surface and cross over to the cave where my team was. Chances were that I couldn’t get in there anyway, but it would have put some distance between me and the dragons.
Then I realized that they weren’t going to be all that pleased with the slug for leading them astray.
“They’ll kill you,” I said, feeling equally terrible and amazed how the thing risked its life for me like that. “You have to get out of here.”
“I do not fear death,” it said without inflection. “But I will be gone before they return. Unlike you, I can control my slide along the essence.” It then turned one of its eyes toward me. “You, however, must leave before they return. I cannot protect you twice.”
“Right. True,” I said, getting up and wiping the goop from my head. “Any suggestions on where I should go?”
“Down.”
I swallowed hard.
“Any other suggestions?”
“No.” It clearly sensed my trepidation. “You are seeking a connection to the tunnel network, yes?”
“I… Yeah. How’d you know that?”
“Your mind is quite open,” it replied. “The connection point is at the lowest point in the nine levels. You must traverse each level in order to reach your goal.”
It spun around and began sliding away.
“Wait,” I called out. “How do I get to the next level?”
The slug came to a stop and moved its eye-stalks to point toward a dark area off to its right.
“There,” it said. “In the darkness resides a winding set of stairs. Each level has these. They are on opposite sides as you go down.”
“So no elevator?”
Its stalks crossed. “Sorry?”
“Nothing. So I have to take the stairs to go down to the next level, then?”
I more stated this than asked it. Clearly the slug understood that the question was rhetorical, because it merely said, “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” I replied, “and thanks for helping me out. I really appreciate it.”
“No need,” said the slug as it spun and began sliding away. “I shall do anything to thwart the wretchedness of a dragon.”
It disappeared and I saw the line of “essence” close over behind it, covering its escape. That was pretty cool.
Knowing that the dragons would return soon, I carefully picked up Boomy and set off toward the darkness.
The stairs were at the back of the wall. They were made of a concrete-like substance, and the entry was tight. I was slipping and sliding because of the damn goop. I fell on my ass more than once while trying to use my arms against the walls to hold me up. Finally, I reached what I could only imagine was the halfway point to the next level. This was apparent because the goop dried up. A couple steps more and I felt the sensation of the “essence” pulling away from my clothes, hair, and flesh. I stood there until it was all gone.
At least there was one benefit of going down a level.
I continued down and began walking toward the glow of reddish light in front of me.
This was the level of lust.
I grinned and boldly walked out like I owned the place.
Chapter 17
Now, you may think that this level would be covered with succubi and incubi.
It was not.
Running around on this level were a bunch of satyr. Yep, I’m talking about the beasts with horse-like ears and tails, though some looked more l
ike goats to me. They had erections that made one wonder if little blue pills were considered daily vitamins in these parts.
Fortunately, none of them had seen me yet. They were all too busy “enjoying” each other, and from the looks of it, they didn’t seem to care if their partner was male or female.
I slunk back into the shadows just as a satyress walked in from one of the side tunnels.
She was exceptionally attractive and had a great rack that was unveiled for the world to see, but the fact that she also had the body of a goat from the waist down was rather a turn off.
No amount of blue pills would change my mind on that fact.
It was fine for the satyrs, obviously, because they were all of the same ilk. Plus, it was clear that they would put their oversized pokers in anything. As a case in point, one of them was busily screwing a hole in the wall.
My biggest worry was that they’d all kill to have something different to treat as a love-toy.
One thing was for sure, I was glad all that petroleum jelly stuff had disappeared.
Then again, if they caught me, maybe not.
I seriously had to be careful.
The walls were smooth on this side of the level and it hung mostly in the shadows. But I didn’t know how good their sense of smell was, or if their eyes were as adept as mine. The only thing I could do was keep moving as swiftly and quietly as possible.
My slug pal from level one said that the tunnels that connected to each level were on opposite sides, so I had to get across without being busted…literally.
I zoomed my vision and saw that the tunnel on the opposite side was a pretty good trek from my current position. The one on the first level wasn’t so bad because of the connection point from the surface, and because I had been able to slide across using slug essence. This level didn’t have such a thing.
I would have expected to see just as much essence here, though of a different kind.
There wasn’t any.
Frankly, that was a relief. My shoes had already been through enough. Besides…ew.
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