Another Stupid Trilogy

by Bill Ricardi

  A chill went up my spine. I hadn’t even considered that. “Just because they sense that I might be more powerful, they would kill me rather than let me help the village?”

  My old friend nodded. “Yeah. Cause you get too strong, chief afraid you challenge. And if find out you have stuff and things, kill you to take stuff and give things to Bashers. Chief not good guy, not like us.”

  I was stunned into silence. Of course I knew that the warriors were willing to hurt me, but the threat of death was just now sinking in.

  Shaman continued, “So all dis so you can go. Dat why you keep silver, and some fancy coin, and new book. Me keep old book and notes, and we see if any new smart orcs do what you do. I keep eye out for more amulet. But you go.”

  I must have sounded miserable when I asked, “Where can I possibly go?”

  Shaman rolled his eyes. “Anywhere wit’ more magic. Anywhere wit’ smart folk. You go, you learn. You free now. What you call job? Feed Engine? That not job. Dat being slave. Not for you no more. Kenvunk say go, I say go. Lizzy no care.”

  My shoulders were shaking. I didn’t realize that I was crying until Shaman reached out to rub at my tears with a calloused gray-green thumb.

  “Dare, dare. You dunno how proud me is. Chest gonna burst, dat’s how proud. Best student ever. Know you no worship Kenvunk, not really. But he proud too, he say you got good chance. He say he sorry for what he say to elf-girl, you go tell her dat for him.”

  I rubbed my face. “Okay.” I took a deep breath to stop the tears. “Okay. When do I go?”

  Shaman shrugged. “Tonight, me guess. Now me tell you, you terrible liar. No hide this from Bashers for long. You sleep, I pack yer stuff. Got copper from human. Got silver from Fish. I pack dat and other stuff and things you need. Burned wood, guts, webs, all we gather. New book, I keep old. Food and water. Pouches and sacks. Big cloak to hide ugly face. Soft gloves to hide ugly hands. And Rock.”

  I nodded. “Thank you, old friend.” I laid down to rest. It was dreamless sleep.

  And so it was that in Late Summer of the year 2717, on day 17, I was to be reborn. I said my goodbyes to Shaman and to Lizzy. I hoisted my pack and just before midnight, I set out into the hills, alone. I drew the hood of my cloak up over my ugly face and did my best to become one with the night.

  Happy birthday, Sorch Stonebender.

  Chapter 5

  The Merchant’s Quarter of Limt was bustling. It was the first day of Early Fall, and many religions would celebrate the turning of the seasons over the course of the next few days. The presence of someone in a full gray cloak with the hood drawn up was nothing new or unusual. The fact that this person might be wearing cloth gloves simply indicated that they were clergy, or perhaps upper class. So I was able to pass through the streets of Limt unmolested and unquestioned.

  As I walked along, I proceeded to look over the shop signs. Each hanging plank of wood cast a long shadow in the afternoon sun. Public workers were starting to sweep the cobblestone, preparing the streets for dinner services hosted at the many inns scattered around the area. I was careful not to jostle anyone, and any vendor or passerby who spoke to me received a quiet but polite nod.

  Finally, I came across the sign I was looking for. The polished oak plaque simply read ‘The Magic Shop’. Not that I could read Common too well, rather I had someone write it down for me at one of the few stops along the way that took my money and didn’t ask questions. The pattern of squiggles seemed to match almost perfectly.

  I walked into the decently sized establishment. The area in front of the counter had a dozen racks and displays. Behind protective glass was a selection of scrolls and wands. Common herbs and components were in sealed jars along the left wall. Behind the counter, a small selection of necklaces, amulets, and charms could be seen in individual display cases. Stairs in the northeast corner led up to what one could assume was a living area, as it was marked ‘Private’. Stairs in the southeast corner led down, to an area marked ‘Stock’.

  There was a group of three older ladies haggling with the tall proprietor. They were trying to talk him down to 25 pieces of gold for a particular scroll, but he was holding firm at 30. “Really ladies, if you consider that once one of you learns the spell you can teach the others, it really is a steal. The Flat Mule spell can help you to carry heavy loads with perfect control, without the need to feed, shelter, or care for an animal. Even the most novice caster can maintain the Flat Mule for an hour, and masters can keep it conjured for the better part of a day.”

  I turned my gaze to the smaller shopkeep. He was up on a step stool, restocking herbs. I could tell he was trying to hide a smile. The human’s hands deftly placed pre-measured bundles of the plant based spell components into the correct jar, before sealing it tightly.

  Apparently the ladies were sold. Money changed hands, the scroll was handed over, and the chatty women exited the store in a rather excited state.

  Rick called over to Will, “I told you that the name Flat Mule would catch on.”

  Will laughed, “It’s an awful name. I think the elves call it something boring, like a Disk of Transport. Still, better to be memorable than efficient.” He gestured over at me. “You have a customer.”

  Rick strode towards me, wearing his best winning smile. “Welcome to The Magic Shop, I’m Richard. Were you looking for anyt- sweet holy Vinara!”

  Will turned his head sharply to see what had startled his partner so much. What he saw made him tumble gracelessly from the step stool and land square on his ass.

  I had thrown my hood back to show off my orcish features and the green tinted skin of my face. My cloak was hanging open to show them the amulet that played such a major role in changing my life.

  “Hello my human friends, it is good to see you again. Are you alright Will?”

  The smaller man scrambled to his feet. “F-fine! I’m fine. Rick I’m just going to close the curtains and lock the door…”

  Rick nodded, mutely. His mouth was open and working, but he couldn’t seem to get his voice to cooperate.

  I murmured, “If I’ve caught you at a bad time, or if this is an unwelcome visit, I can head off. I just wanted to… you had mentioned the name of your shop, and that I should stop by sometime.”

  The tall man finally found words. “No, o-of course not! Sorch, you look amazing, it’s particularly… shocking to see you, but not at all unwelcome.”

  Having flipped the Open sign to Closed and drawn the red velvet curtains shut in the shop’s front windows, Will hurried over to stand by Rick’s side. “Sorch this is astounding. I think we can safely say that we’re astounded. There’s no other word for it. Are you hungry? We live upstairs, we have a small pantry. I could use a snack.”

  I had to admit, “I’m starving. I ran out of supplies a few days ago, and foraging has been slim. I was going to ask if I could give you some money and you could help me to resupply. Most of the merchants that I’ve come across outside of town avoid my patronage.”

  Rick smiled. “Come on up and share some bread and cheese with us. You need to tell us everything! And then, of course, we’ll be happy to help you get whatever you need in town.”

  Although we had only met once, a brief but intense encounter, the three of us were already conversing like old friends. It had something to do with saving their lives I’m sure.

  I explained how the amulet had allowed me to gain a foothold on my intellect, how Shaman had encouraged me to develop a better intelligence enhancement spell. At their prompting, I related most of the details of the adventures that ensued.

  “So now I’m using my new Augmented Intelligence spell to attune the amulet. I normally top off with a couple of the old Enhance Intelligence spells after my mid day rest, and just before bed I cast another Augmented Intelligence. That lets me use my supply of copper and silver efficiently, and gives me the freedom to use three or four spells during the day without much risk. It depends on how difficult the spells are and nutrition and rest…
lots of factors.”

  When I finished I looked at each of the two humans. It didn’t seem like either of them fully believed what they were hearing. Not that they thought I was lying, they just found the tale quite foreign, and were struggling to understand my own intelligence being used as a resource like that.

  “Guys… it’s alright, you can say whatever you’re thinking. I won’t be upset.”

  Will swallowed a chunk of bread and cheese, just as I tore into mine. He said, “Well I don’t know what I can say. Off the top of my head, I think you’ve done an amazing job discovering how all of this works. I’ve never heard of an orc overcoming the curse of Omi-Suteth, even temporarily. That you’ve not only managed it, but the fact that you’re growing as a spellcaster under those restrictions, is quite a feat.”

  Rick nodded in agreement. “And as I mentioned, we owe you more than just that amulet for saving us. I think that we can help you to expand your current spell selection. Heck, I’ve never even heard of anyone performing an advanced version of Enhance Intelligence. You can likely trade that knowledge for a host of low level spells. In fact, allow us to be the first to make that offer.”

  I chewed the sharp cheddar and spiced flatbread slowly. It was an interesting concept. “Well, how about I give you a full inventory of the spells that I know, and you can tell me what the gaps are in my knowledge. Is that fair?”

  They agreed that this was a good starting point. I listed off the magics that I had learned: Enhanced Intelligence, Force Bolt, Noon Sunlight, Fan of Frost, Flaming Sword, Augmented Intelligence, Levitation, Spider’s Web, and Acid Bolt.

  Rick scratched his chin. “Well, that’s a very eclectic collection Sorch. It skips right over the spells that just about every student knows. Detect Magic, which is the arcane version of what your friend Shaman did to make your amulet glow. Identify, which is quite costly to cast, but is generally seen as an apprentice’s graduation test. And then a smattering of physical manipulations so that even if they flunk out, they’ve learned something useful. As an example, Rope Trick to animate a length of rope. Invisible Servant, which does manual labor… similar to the work done by your Arcane Syphon, but more light-duty.”

  Will chimed in, “Flat Mule of course” This earned him a glare from Rick. The smaller human just grinned and continued. “Of all of the ones that we mentioned, Detect Magic is the one you’ll want to learn right away. Knowing whether or not a seemingly mundane item is magical can save your life. We have that one in our books, or plenty of copies on scrolls in the shop if you needed to travel immediately. Identify you’ll want to learn, but it consumes a fairly pricey gem when done correctly, so we can hold off on that until you’re well established.”

  Rick added, “I’m going to suggest that you learn Invisible Shield as well. You’re already well into combat magic, and this is one of the most basic defensive spells. And… Will, you know Silence right?”

  Will nodded. “I do. Silence is particularly good for you if you’re going up against other mages. If you and your typical elven or human mage are both in a cone of silence, your more impressive physique might give you the advantage.”

  I finished my latest helping of bread and cheese. “So you’ll teach me these, and I’ll share my Augmented Intelligence ritual. Is that fair?”

  Rick laughed a little bit. “More than fair. Sorch, if we were to do tutoring for a spell so obscure or so rare that it isn’t common knowledge at the University, we would make a hefty profit. If it really is unique and nobody else has ever crafted a similar spell, you deserve more than a handful of common magic.”

  The smaller human nodded his agreement. “If we were to re-teach your spell or sell anything related to it such as scrolls, you would deserve an equal share of the profits. We would insist. Eventually we should be able to have a scroll made of the spell, which you could use in an emergency if you needed to restart the process.”

  I smiled. “Kind of you. That’s fine with me.” I paused to sip fruit juice from the carved wooden cup that they had provided. “I have something to ask you in addition to helping me to resupply, taking advantage of your knowledge, and getting help when looking for a residence nearby. I’m going to need a steady supply of silver and copper, which means employment or adventure. Could you tell me what my options are?”

  The tall man considered. “For you, adventure is easier than employment unless you want to work on a ship. The only orcs around Limt are at the docks, and they rarely do more than pick up shipments or supplies, and then leave again.” He turned to Will and murmured, “A houseboat of some kind, that’s actually an idea.”

  Will hmmm’ed. “For Sorch? I can look into it, as a longer term solution. Leave it with me.”

  Rick turned back to me, “If you could buy or rent a houseboat and berth for it at the docks, it wouldn’t look out of the ordinary at all unless you attracted a lot of attention for some reason. Then you could travel up and down the coast as you needed. But back to your question. Adventure, exploration, they can keep you fed and discovering new things. We would be happy to have you along for our next expedition. I believe that is around thirty days away. We’ll get the exact date from the caravan company within two weeks. Until then, there’s the Bounty Board.”

  Will winced. “Bounties are dangerous, but they can be valuable. We started off doing bounties, when the shop wasn’t realistically going to pay for itself and money was more important than additional stock. There are certain inns that adventurers frequent. We could make some introductions to the proprietors. They generally involve getting rid of a threat to the public safety, finding someone who went missing, and the like. You know: Protection provided, mysteries solved.”

  I tapped my fingers on the table. “I’d appreciate the introduction. Tonight, I can make camp a short distance outside of town. I don’t want my presence to be disruptive. Then you can tell me where you would like to meet, and we can arrange everything in a logical order.”

  Will snorted, “Don’t be silly, you’re staying here tonight.”

  I blinked. “I am?”

  Rick looked a bit surprised too, but stayed quiet.

  Will smiled broadly. “Of course you are. We have a cot downstairs for when we’re out of town, and we have someone else watching the shop. Even someone of your mass shouldn’t break it!”

  Rick ah-ha’ed. “True, I had forgotten about that. Of course, stay the night Sorch. We still have a lot of questions. If you answer them, we’ll share some of Will’s famed scrambled eggs with rabbit mince in the morning.”

  We chatted late into the night. Education was a hot topic. They would send word to the Arcane University and ask for an audience with the Headmaster to discuss the possibility of formal education. Will warned me that such an application was likely not to be answered for a while. Then there would be a few magical aptitude tests. And even if I passed all of the tests at my entrance exams, the next academic year didn’t start for months. I was intrigued by the option, and told them to go ahead.

  When everyone agreed that it was late and rest was the best option, I headed down to the store room. While my human friends were apologetic that I would be staying in a store room, I don’t think they fully grasped the vast divide between our worlds. The store room was fully enclosed, and watertight. Up until this point, the best place I’ve ever slept was in Shaman’s tent, which was still drafty and leaked in the rain. The store room’s wide cot was three layers of suspended cloth and leather on a strong wooden frame, without a doubt the most comfortable thing I’ve ever seen. Normally I’d be sleeping on a pile of crushed reeds covered by an old pelt. Finally, I’d be sleeping through the night… no sneaking off to try to find food or being woken by a rough kick to the ribs from an angry Basher high on Ephen leaves. My human friends had no idea that this would be the best night’s sleep of my entire life.

  I let the conversational topics of the night filter through my mind. Discussing the possibility of such things as houseboats and tutoring was an amusin
g distraction, but I knew the reality of the situation: I was an orc in a city of humans. I would need to tread with care, and avoid drawing any attention to myself. There would be prejudice, and given some of the warlike actions of my people in the past, I could hardly blame the townsfolk if they saw an orc as something savage and uncivilized. For the moment, stealth was a better option than being brash.

  And yet, I couldn’t allow prejudice to hold me back. While being subtle around the humans, I still need to achieve my goals. So it would help if those goals were a bit more well defined. I sat down at the inventory desk, took up the quill and ink, and jotted down what I wanted to achieve now that I had opportunities and resources close at hand:

  One: The amount of copper and silver I went through every week equated to about two pieces of gold in the local currency. Even living off the land, this was the bare minimum amount of resources I needed to maintain my intelligence.

  Two: If I wanted to maintain my city based lifestyle and use my time learning new magic, I would need money for food, renting lodging out near the docks from someone who wouldn’t ask questions, common spell components, and the like. That would bring my expenses up to five gold pieces a week.

  Three: As long as I’m meeting those basic expenses, I want to set aside a quarter of whatever I’m making to send back to Shaman. Even a hand full of gold every month would mean the world to my people. The difference between the tribe dwindling away and the tribe thriving might be my contributions.

  Four: To have some measure of security, particularly if I go the adventuring route and need to store the spoils, renting a cottage outside of town would be around 20 gold every week, with all of my other expenses.

  Five: If I’m to get the kind of privacy and security that I need in the long term, a houseboat isn’t the worst of ideas. It can move if I need to move, there would be almost no reason for people to visit, allowing aggressive trapping and warding should the situation warrant it. From what Will and Rick were saying, costs would range from 2,000 gold pieces to 5,000 gold pieces. The higher the cost, the larger and more seaworthy the boat would be. Of course, the larger the boat, the higher the dock fees.