Another Stupid Trilogy

by Bill Ricardi

  We arrived at the Temple of Koroth at five minutes ‘til midnight. It was a smaller temple, able to handle around seventy-five parishioners. Nine rows of pews were split up the middle to form a central aisle. Including us, only about thirty-five people were in attendance. We blended in well; traditional garb for worshipers of Koroth was black on more black.

  Stoically, we listened to the sermon of Koroth. He wasn’t a full god as such, more of a powerful demon lord or underworld demi-god for those interested in greed, merciless negotiation, and advantageous accords. The theme of the night seemed to be about getting revenge in quasi-legal and profitable ways. I was afraid that Toby would snap at some point, but he seemed fairly neutral. That look was not uncommon on the face of a minotaur that was simply bored.

  At the end of the half hour service, the congregation was dismissed. Most people headed out via the front entryway, but a select few walked past the altar to disappear behind a partition at the rear of the apse. Ames stealthily made their way towards the front of the temple to see what was happening there. The rest of us stayed kneeling in the pew, ‘praying’.

  In minutes, we were the only people left in the nave area. Just as I was starting to get restless, there was a loud ‘thump’ and a hissed curse. Quickly we stood and made our way towards the area behind the apse.

  Ames was standing, looking down at the weakly groaning heap of human flesh writhing on the ground. The were-cat held a heavy, slightly bloody candle holder in their paws. Defensively, the cat murmured, “I didn’t know the password.”

  Quickly we bound and gagged the guard that our friend had waylaid. He had a minor scalp wound, but he looked like he would be alright in a couple of hours. Ames relieved the poor man of his keys, and we opened up the sacristy.

  A quick search of the ritual preparation area unveiled exactly nothing out of the ordinary. We were about to beat a hasty retreat, when Toby stopped us. His keen minotaur senses had ferreted out a tunnel behind the wall of a vestment closet. Ames found the intervening secret door, and made quick work of the opening mechanism.

  Stone steps, illuminated by recently lit and firmly ensconced torches, flowed downwards in a tight spiral. Toby led the way, as stealth didn’t seem to be an option in such narrow and bright quarters. We crept downstairs until we reached what was almost certainly a crypt.

  Sarcophagi lined the walls to our left and right. But the most interesting feature of the room was a thick, blood red curtain directly in front of us. It seemed to divide the top of this chamber from the bottom of the next. There were people on the other side of the partition, conducting a rather loud and disturbing ritual of some sort.

  “OH DEMON LORD OF BARGAINS, DEMON LORD OF CONTRACTS, DEMON LORD OF GAIN! OH GREAT KOROTH! WE BESEECH THEE TO STRIKE THE GREAT BARGAIN AND BRING ABOUT THE END OF DAYS, THAT WE MIGHT WALK AT YOUR SIDE AND WITNESS THE SUBJUGATION OF THOSE UNWORTHY OF THE FINAL NEGOTIATION!”

  We traded glances with each other. Smaller and less stable religions had more than their fair share of doomsday cults. But what did any of this have to do with a plot against the royal family?

  “OH DISCOVERER OF HIDDEN PROFIT, OUR VOICES CARRY UNTO YOU IN DESPERATION! RID THIS WORLD OF THE POOR AND WORTHLESS, AS THEY CANNOT AFFORD THE COST! RID THIS WORLD OF THE WEAK AND STUPID, AS THEY CANNOT SURVIVE THE CULLING!”

  As a group, we started to creep closer to the curtain. If we timed our charge right, we could catch these cultists by surprise. Assuming we could capture one of them alive, someone like an inner circle member rather than the clueless door guard upstairs, we would be able to interrogate them. Shock and awe was the best way to accomplish that.

  “OH BROKER OF THE FIRST ACCORD, PLEASE EXECUTE THE DIVINE LOOPHOLE AND SEND THINE DEMONIC SERVANTS TO PANOS! ALLOW THE SECRET OF THE GREAT CONTEST TO BE KNOWN TO THY SERVANTS! RAISE THE VEIL, AND ALLOW US TO SEE!”

  The thick red curtain shot up to the ceiling with such speed and power that we were helpless to do anything but watch. It must have been some sort of spring loaded or counterweighted mechanism. Luckily, the contingent in the adjoining chamber was just as surprised as we were.

  Now would be a good time to explain something. Koroth was fond of loopholes. Although the accord of the gods prevented demons, devils, angels, and avatars from occupying space on Panos, only the gods themselves could read the fine print. Koroth might not be able to send his demons to Panos, but he could enhance, reshape, twist, and reform residents of Panos into demon-like beasts. These were known as the ‘Sacrificed’ of Koroth.

  Of the seven figures gathered in the opposite crypt, three of them were Sacrificed humans. The first seemed to be fairly new to the fold… the only obvious mutation on him was a pair of bony nubs sprouting from the top of his bald skull. Clearly some day these would be horns, but not today. The second creature was far worse off. The flesh of her fingers had been stripped away, and the bones filed into razor sharp claws. The final Sacrificed man could barely be recognized as a man at all. His skin was cherry red from being slowly baked in the unholy fires of Koroth’s love. The creature’s left hand was missing, and the bones of his wrist had been carved into a jagged spearhead. His two normal eyes were blind, but a grotesque third eye sprouted from the center of his forehead.

  Compared to those three, the two longsword wielding psychopaths and curse spitting clergymen seemed almost normal.

  Toby bellowed at the abominations, tears rolling down the sides of his golden-brown furred cheeks. I already knew that there was no retreat from this fight. For once, I got the jump on my foes and it was actually effective. My Web shot across the now-conjoined room and glued one of the swordsmen and one of the priests to some nearby sarcophagi.

  As the men struggled to free themselves, Ames and Toby drew their weapons. Rick opted for a fast spell to hurl at the closest Sacrifice. A volley of Magic Missiles pelted the deformed female, causing her to shriek and hesitate. Will started casting a longer, more complex spell, hoping to catch multiple opponents in a Fireball.

  That was a mistake.

  The priest of Koroth finished a rapid incantation and flicked his hand towards Will, in a slashing motion. A fountain of blood sprung from my friend’s chest. He screamed with pain as a phantom force struck him. It was like a barbed bullwhip had cut a diagonal line through Will’s robe and chest. He fell to his knees, spell never completed.

  Ames intercepted the robed human swordsman before he could reach the mage backline. The cat was so close to us, executing their normal dodging style would have opened us up to attack. So the were-cat became an imposing presence; parrying, riposting like a fine fencer.

  With the screams of Will in his ears, the weeping minotaur bellowed and charged the Sacrifices. The hesitating female was shouldered aside, still not in the fight. Toby lowered his head to engage the novice Sacrifice, wanting to make an example out of him. Horns met bone nubs. Horns won. The creature’s neck snapped back. Just in case he wasn’t dead on impact, the lightning quick flash of Toby’s broadsword took his heart, mid-beat.

  The crimson skinned, spear-handed Sacrifice was turning to charge Toby’s flank. I quickly palmed the guts from my component pouch into my fingers, and sent my Acid Bolts into his side. They impacted. Damage was clearly done as burnt flesh gave way to a pearly white rib cage on his right side. But it was as in if the creature felt no pain at all.

  My webs were being torn through by the angry flash of a longsword. Those two would be freed soon, and the odds would be very much against us.

  Wisely, Will chose a purely defensive spell as his next incantation. Mirror Image. Soon there were four Wills, all on their knees and bleeding. The female Sacrifice leaped forward and slashed through the throat of one of the copies of Will. Luckily, it simply dissipated, as she guessed wrong on the first try.

  The priest that was free hurried to levy a Curse against the minotaur, attempting to strip him of the protections of Aro-Remset. There was a brief dimming of the light in the room, as the power of the gods themselves fluxed
and contested. In the end, Toby looked no worse off, and the priest screamed in frustration.

  However, winning on the spiritual plane was only half the battle. The crazed Sacrifice threw a powerful ‘punch’ with its spear-hand upon reaching Toby’s side. The bull man couldn’t raise his shield in time, and that jagged shard of bone penetrated chainmail and flesh alike. The paladin gasped as bone ground against bone, and his shield dangled limply from the straps. His shoulder was devastated, the nerves running up and down his arm numbed. But that didn’t stop the enraged, teary eyed minotaur from twisting away and levelling his sword at this new threat.

  Ames was a contrast to the chaos happening all around them. Despite two of their friends wounded and crying out, despite two more foes breaking free of my webs, the were-cat was a cool and calculated killer. The feline forced the swordsman into a desperate thrust. In a flash, three things happened: Sidestep. Counter slash. And the swordsman’s head tumbled to the stone floor.

  Rick, the priest, and myself all started incantations at the same time. It was going to come down to spell selection and target.

  Rick chose wisely once again, going for a quick spell, and one of my personal favorites. A Force Bolt sent the female Sacrifice tumbling back into the opposite half of the crypt, just as those grotesque bone claws sliced at the face of Will’s illusion, causing yet another to fade from reality.

  Unfortunately, the priest had been tracking which Will was likely the real one. Still rolling from an attempted dodge of the Sacrifice’s claws, the small human never saw the second blow coming. Again the Pain spell connected, flaying my friend’s flesh open from left buttock to left shoulder blade. Will and his Mirror Image collapsed in pain, both laying on the ground bleeding and twitching.

  I had opted for power. It was slow, and I was going to feel the drain keenly, but I knew that a second priest in this fight might mean the end of us all. Fur rubbed against brass, and the conduit was formed. Unwittingly, Rick had set up the perfect shot. Just as the second priest broke free of my Web, the female Sacrifice staggered into view. My Lightning Bolt fired, catching the Sacrifice first. After the Magic Missiles and the Force Bolt, she had nothing left to resist the surge of electricity, and fell to the ground, dead and smoking. The unfortunate priest that had been hobbled the entire fight found even more bad luck. My Lightning Bolt caught him once in the chest, rebounded off of a stone coffin behind him, and struck him again in the spine. His heart stopped and he too fell.

  Ames smoothly picked up the swordsman who had just freed himself, making sure to stay between him and our fallen ally. If anything, this one seemed less skilled than the last, quickly suffering minor cuts to the forearm and left hip. However, although I knew the were-cat’s blade was poisoned, the worshiper of Koroth showed no ill effects. Perhaps it was a perk of devotion to a demon lord.

  Toby gamely battled on with one arm, and forced the veteran Sacrifice back a couple of paces. He even scored a slash against the creature’s collarbone, but the leathery skin didn’t bleed. Soon after, that deformed bone-spear of a hand drove downwards and into the minotaur’s left calf. The chain absorbed most of that blow, but still there was some penetration, blood, and pain. Toby was being picked apart.

  The priest had exhausted their complement of minor spells, and decided that he had to take Rick out of the fight. Holding up a rod of iron, he pointed it at the tall human and started to call upon Koroth to invoke an unholy paralysis on the mage.

  Right at that moment, he probably didn’t expect to meet a friend of mine: Rock.

  Rock impacted with the priest’s face solidly, sending a pair of teeth flying. I stalked forward, following my own throw. I wasn’t fully drained of intelligence at that point. I could have perhaps managed a minor spell or two without putting myself past the point of no return.

  But I was mad.

  Rick was mad too, but thinking far more clearly than I. He was moving forward as well, but fumbling with something in his belt pouch as he moved. From just five paces away, the human hurled a small clay pot at the final Sacrifice. It shattered against the mutated man’s hip. The holy water soaked into those black robes and then burned the unholy thing from the inside. Unlike mundane pain, the Sacrifice reacted to the divinely inflicted blow. It screeched like a banshee, smoke starting to rise from melting flesh.

  That was the opening Toby needed. The horizontal arc of the minotaur’s broadsword sliced under the Sacrifice’s arm and through most of the ribcage. The creature’s muscles seized up, and it slowly slid backwards off of Toby’s blade.

  I heard rather than saw Ames take their opponent down with an adder-quick trust through the eye socket that left the tip of the cat’s sword sticking out of the back of the human’s skull. I heard Toby being helped over to Lay Hands on Will, and then urged to use healing magic on himself to save his arm.

  By the time anyone thought to check up on me, I had raised Rock above my head with both calloused green hands. For the seventh time I brought my old friend crashing down on the priest’s splintered skull, punishing the long-dead cleric for hurting my little friend. The shocked silence allowed me get the eighth blow in. I was restrained by Rick and Ames as I raised Rock for the ninth time.

  Given my emotional state, Rick took charge. “Ames, go quickly and find the City Guard. Tell them that army envoys have been injured fighting members of an apocalypse cult. Say that you need help securing the area right away, and you need backup from General Stanish Coleton’s people, including a combat medic. Just Stanish’s people.”

  The cat nodded, and was gone in an instant.

  Rick was able to calm me down, as I shook from fading anger and far too much adrenaline. I had enough intelligence left to help him pack and bandage Will’s wounds as best we could. We also wrapped Toby’s shoulder and leg tightly. The healing magic had gone a long way towards stopping the bleeding, and it almost certainly saved Will’s life; his breathing was shallow, but steady.

  We had a healing potion, but it was far too risky to try to force it down the small human’s throat in his condition. Rick offered it to Toby, who said it would be a waste as he couldn’t feel his arm anyway, and he was in stable condition. So leaving Toby to cradle Will in his lap, the two of us searched the crypt.

  Hidden in a nook, there was a leather bound diary. Rick confiscated it. There was a small chest, but it was just filled with ritual fetishes and simple weapons. We didn’t loot the bodies since they were evidence, and it might look bad if envoys of the Crown and Arcane University were caught patting down corpses.

  As I cleaned Rock with a flask of water and put my old friend away, Rick skimmed through the pages of the dark cleric’s tome. He made it through several dozen pages while we waited for help. The tall human’s eyes widened when he found a somewhat recent passage. “Listen to this.” The human cleared his throat, and started reading:

  “We have found an ally. Duke Harrington has always been a friend of the order, but has now proven himself a friend of the cause. His reach and financial help will allow us to fulfill the will of Koroth, and soon we will strike a series of shrewd deals. These covenants will allow us to walk beside our demonic brethren in the flesh. The Duke’s brilliant plan will open a path between realms. None of Panos will be spared. Praise be to Koroth.”

  I grunted. “Don’t think that enough for courts. But good start.”

  Rick shook his head. “Where does one start when faced with the ravings of a zealot?”

  I said, “The money. Always the money.”

  The tall human nodded, and tucked the diary into his backpack. A short time later, Ames arrived with reinforcements from the City Watch. They moved quickly to secure the crime scene, and the temple itself. One look at the horribly mutilated demonic bodies was enough for them to take our side. A mustached and helmeted watchman said, “The General’s men are on the way. Don’t you worry.”

  The guards went a step further than we did in our search. They cracked open the sarcophagi. Most of them only had s
keletal remains, but there was an outcry when one of the newer vessels was opened.

  “Tis the good witch Dorris Pine! Fetch the inspectors.”

  We were told that a vexing missing persons case, now confirmed as a murder, had been big news recently. Dorris Pine was a well known magus in Royal Moffit. She had been an advocate for more transparency in the tax system, a vocal proponent of minimum pay being established for child labor, a provider of training for street thugs and criminals in order to rehabilitate them, and was the face of a number of other popular movements. A couple of weeks ago she had disappeared, and blood was found at her residence.

  Our mustached watchman told us, “Let’s get your wounded friends upstairs, this room is going to get crowded right quick!”

  We carefully moved the human and minotaur upstairs, and met the General’s men as they arrived in the temple’s sacristy. The combat medics were able to cast a couple more minor healing spells on Toby and Will. With their help and under their protection, our group travelled to the Temple of Aro-Remset.

  The clerics and paladins of Toby’s temple immediately took our wounded friends in for convalescent care. We were complimented on stabilizing them so quickly, and assured that they would be fine in a few days under the healing influence of Aro-Remset.

  Only upon hearing this news did Rick break down and start sobbing. He had held things together emotionally until Will was out of danger, but the near-death experience of his long time partner clearly took a toll. Ames held her friend until the crying turned into relieved laughter. The human wiped his eyes and said, “It was his turn to do inventory when we get back home. He’s not getting out of it this easily.”

  Each one of us thanked the attending clerics, and then we rendezvoused with our guards who had been patiently waiting outside. They had sent a runner to report the situation up the chain of command, and assured us that they were with us for as long as we needed them. Quickly, our group made its way to the Palace, still under military escort.