Another Stupid Trilogy

by Bill Ricardi

  It was an odd request, but I nodded curtly to my friend. The little human reached into my pouch and took out my hefty stone companion. He tossed Rock high in the air so that the arc would carry it above the height of the door and have it land where the glowing ward was located. Then the human quickly slammed the door before the stone fell.

  There was a second, muffled explosion inside of the room, accompanied by curses. Quickly we reopened the door and charged into the observatory through a thin veil of smoke.

  Floating in mid air, positioned equidistant from each other throughout the dome, were three pale, gaunt figures. They all seemed to be former humans, possibly even natives of Eastern Hook. The two vampires closer to our position were wielding longswords. The third was bare handed. They didn’t wear black cloaks or exude an aura of evil. They just looked like fanged people; people who had given up on doing what was right or just. The way they moved in the air was beyond any magic that I could manage. With Levitation there was a certain amount of concentration required and one moved at a fairly slow pace. These undead fiends were flying rapidly, with ease and grace.

  Ames didn’t wait for any form of parley. The feline’s hand crossbow discharged, sending a bolt right towards the unarmed vampire’s heart. Sadly, it bounced off of an Invisible Shield. Toby attempted something similar with his spear on the closest fiend, but it spun and dove out of the way in a display of aerial agility.

  The unarmed vampire started to murmur, pointing at Rick. Will tried to hit it with his last pot of holy water, but missed. I dropped my spear and took out rod and fur instead, chanting the incantation of my Lightning Bolt spell. I figured that if its attention was focused on Rick, I would be free to retaliate.

  I was wrong.

  The Silence spell caught Rick unawares, and all three of us were in its radius. Rick quickly ran to the far side of the room to free us from the highly effective anti-spellcasting sphere, but I had already lost my most potent combat spell. At least there was no mental drain associated with the fizzled attempt at magic.

  Tara, being outside of the zone of Silence, had managed to summon her flying warhammer. This evened the odds somewhat. Ames, Toby, and Tara were able to defend themselves from the inhumanly strong fly-by slashing attacks, and the vampires couldn’t simply linger or they would be pummeled by the icy divine hammer.

  It was Will’s turn to take out his brass wand and start the somewhat long chant of the Lightning Bolt spell. The vampire mage was quick to react. But I was quicker. Before the fiend could finish whatever spell he was going to send Will’s way, my Force Bolt sent the undead creature flying through the air to impact with the top of the observatory’s dome.

  Frustrated, one of the sword wielding fiends reached up and seemed to pluck an orb of some sort from its ornate necklace. The vampire hurled it at Ames, who smashed the round glass ornament out of the air.

  Sadly, that didn’t seem to matter.

  Gravity lost all hold on Ames. The were-cat was suddenly thrown up in the air and impacted with the near curve of the observatory’s dome. A moment later and the feline was in freefall. Ames tried to roll with the two story drop, but landed hard. There was a dull snap and Ames was howling in pain, clutching their right ankle. I rushed to my love’s side, quickly casting an Invisible Shield to protect us from any follow up attacks.

  Toby and Tara both took the opportunity to hurl clay pots of holy water at the relatively still vampire warrior. One of them connected. The creature’s unearthly voice sounded off with an almost feral howl. Its skin bubbled and split, much like mine did earlier when the fire baked my flesh. At about the same time, Will’s Lightning Bolt sizzled into the ribcage of the second flying warrior. It twisted in midair, the shock absorbed fully by that unliving flesh.

  With the briefest of glances at one another, the two melee oriented creatures came to a silent agreement. The became like the fog, and floated out the door that we had entered through.

  That’s when we heard the weak cry from behind us. The Silence had finally faded, but Rick was already in the grasp of the vampire mage. He was overpowered and pinned against the far wall. Fangs were sunk into the tall human’s neck. The vampire must have hoped to drain him completely and gain an ally against the otherwise overwhelming odds.

  This time, Toby only needed one throw. His spear sailed the entire length of the observatory. It shattered the vampire’s spine, and found the beast’s frigid heart from behind. The penetration of the spear tip caught the sleeve of Rick’s robe, but didn’t find flesh. There was a puff of dust. Then it was just Rick, slumping to the ground with a bloody neck. Will ran over to staunch the bleeding immediately.

  I felt a strong paw grasp my damp, half incinerated robe. Ames snarled, “Go! Finish it.”

  Tara, her Divine Warhammer having just faded away, ran out of the room and turned right. Toby hobbled after, and I fought through my own pain to take up the rear.

  With the bottom floor flooded in natural light, there was only one place that the fleeing undead creatures could go. The door on the south side of the hallway surrounding the observatory led to the maintenance areas. There was a T junction. On the right was the balcony walkway leading to the pipe organ and the choir. It was bathed in natural sunlight, open to the temple’s nave. So we turned left.

  The last room was a storage chamber. It was filled with stone statues, dusty chests, and two angry looking vampires. They had landed, their flying magic either drained or incompatible with their attempts to regenerate the grievous wounds that they had suffered. The fiends faced Tara and Toby, swords at the ready.

  Tara gave me a sharp whistle, one of the signals that we had rehearsed earlier. I whistled back briefly to acknowledge the order, and started casting a spell.

  The undead must have been curious as to why the two minotaurs simply stood in the doorway instead of moving into the room to engage them. The reason dawned upon them soon enough.

  My Noon Sunlight spell wasn’t like the Light cantrips that every apprentice mage knows. It didn’t last nearly as long of course. But the illumination that it produced was real. It was a window, a conduit to the actual light of the sun. One could tell by the way that these trapped vampires, having already turned to mist once today, had absolutely no way to defend themselves against it.

  I hadn’t even felt the drain. There was something numbing about the experience. The screams and the scent of burning vampire flesh was hardly compensation for what we had suffered. Toby and I were burnt, Ames was crippled, and Rick had looked severely drained. Watching the evil creatures turn to dust, these wicked things that had killed so many and caused so much misery, held no satisfaction right at that moment. I would celebrate later, when everyone was safe.

  The three of us made our way back to the observatory to do some damage control. Toby performed the laying of hands on Rick, doing his best to restore some of the taller human’s strength and seal the man’s neck wound. Ames received the last of the divine healing from Tara. It managed to numb the pain and stop the internal bleeding, but the ankle was severely damaged and would require extended bed rest.

  As our more severely wounded friends rested, the rest of the dark curtains were torn down, leaving the entire temple bathed in natural light. A thorough search of the place, particularly that final storeroom, unveiled a multitude of treasures.

  Tara’s treasure was the temple itself, and she was more than happy to donate the entirety of her share to the restoration fund that they would surely need. Toby followed suit, after setting aside enough to tithe to his own Order. He noted that he had never compensated the party for the Axe of McGrondle, so it was only fair that he waive any special treasures that they might come across.

  The vampire pyromancer’s spellbook was of great interest to Rick and Will. Having seen how effective the fire wards were against us, they were curious as to what other pyromantic wonders lay within.

  A Detect Magic spell revealed a few interesting tidbits. One of them was a glowing silver ring.
I cast the Read Magic cantrip and peered through my jeweler’s loop at the inscription inside of the band. I snorted. In an act of cosmic absurdity, the universe had put a Ring of Leaping in our hands less than an hour after it would have saved Ames so much misery and pain. Three times a day, it could be invoked to leap a great height and distance, while cushioning any hard landing or fall. The invocation was an instant mental trigger, so it could be used in a split second, even while Silenced. The feline took the news better than I would have, and accepted the ring as their special share. It was slipped onto the fuzzy digit adjacent to the one holding the stone ring that I had made for my love, so many months ago.

  I had my choice of a couple of different minor magical items. Whatever I didn’t select would be sold at The Magic Shop, along with a handaxe that never needed sharpening, and some druidic scrolls. Normally those profits would be split between the six of us, but we all agreed to donate the items to Rick and Will, in order to get their neglected business back on the right track.

  Although I was tempted by the earring that allowed one to hear perfectly underwater, I went with a pair of silk gloves. They had no inscription and no mark, but an Identification spell would later solve their mystery. They were Silk Gloves of Secrecy. These gloves would allow me to ‘palm’ a non-living item that could fit in one hand. It would be stored in an extra-dimensional space, and could later be retrieved with the rub of my fingers. I liked the concept. It added a little bit of stealth to my repertoire, something I certainly wasn’t known for.

  After valuing the cash, as well as some gems and jewelry that we had found in one of the battered storeroom chests, each share came to 700 gold. Additionally, we would get 250 gold each from the contributions of other organizations. After spending some of my share on the gem required for the Identify spell, I would end up with 238 gold waiting for Shaman, and 712 additional gold for myself.

  And of course, I picked up my slightly scorched Rock.

  It was slow going, with both Toby and Ames having mobility issues. Eventually we made it back to the Temple of Vinara in Eastern Hook. Toby and I received some treatment and healing for our burns. The pain was mostly gone, and the blemishes would fade in time. Tara and Toby were able to get priority on their teleportation in order to report the results of the mission and arrange for a contingent of Melflavin’s clerics to come take possession of their temple once again. Before they left, the minotaurs promised to take care of the Vole, with the help of hierophant Petrinoth and the rest of the druidic order of Del-Nekbenth.

  The rest of us were left in a small, private room. Ames and Rick were laying in the two cots, each on high doses of poppy extract in order to deaden their pain. They were fast asleep while we awaited word as to when we could use the Circle of Transport.

  I thought that Will was sleeping too. The small human was sitting next to me with his rump against the wall, curled up so that his knees were nearly touching his temples. It was only when I saw the man’s shoulders shaking that I realized my little friend was actually crying, silently.

  Quickly I put my arm around Will and held him against my side. The silent tears gave way to body-wracking sobbing. A little bewildered, I pulled the small human fully into my lap and wrapped my arms around his chest.

  “Will it’s alright. Rick is going to be okay.”

  The red faced human shook his head, denying my assertion. Between sobs and ragged breaths, Will said, “He’s not- okay. I’m- not o-okay.”

  It took a couple more minutes of just holding the smaller mage in his moment of honesty and weakness before I could coax an explanation out of him.

  “T-the horrors we s-saw in Pandemonium. They broke me. And h-him. Toby’s brain was a-able to cope because minot-taurs unravel those things. Puzzles, m-mazes. But not us Sorch. W-we were trapped, tormented. It twisted our minds. Stuck s-seeing things man wasn’t meant to see.”

  He broke down again. This time I just stroked his dirty blond hair and the back of his neck until he was done crying. When he could continue, Will said, “We’re not okay. And if something happened to Rick, I would be done. I couldn’t recover from that. I think… I think we need to stop this, sooner rather than later.”

  Will rubbed the tears from his eyes. I murmured, “You should discuss this with him. Whatever the two of you decide, we’ll support you. You know that. Ames and I will forever be your friends. We owe you more than we could ever express.”

  The small mage laughed a little bit at that. “I think whatever you owe us is equalled and then surpassed by the fact that you saved our lives. Twice.”

  I held Will quietly and let the final tears drain from him. Exhausted by the emotional outpouring and the way that it wracked his body, my small friend fell asleep in my arms as we continued to wait.

  I felt stupid and overwhelmed at the same time. How could I not have seen the extent of my friends’ pain? Sure they were very private sometimes, but Will and Rick were like brothers to me. In the short time I had known them, they opened up the entire world to me, and that came with an unspoken bond. To hear about the lingering mental anguish from their time in Pandemonium, something that they weren’t sure they would ever fully recover from, was heartbreaking. Silently, I vowed to keep better tabs on my human friends, no matter where I was or what I was doing.

  After a couple of hours, we were told that a window for teleportation would be available in 15 minutes. I roused our resting comrades. We made sure that everything was packed up and ready to go.

  Before I left, I donated 30 gold to Vinara, still leaving me with some 1,100 in my own account. I asked that a message be sent to the bishop of Vinara in Limt: ‘Padre. Rick and Will suffered mental trauma in Pandemonium. Please have one of your own check up on them, daily would be preferable. Contact me if they need anything, please. Sorch.’

  With that I was satisfied that they would be looked in upon by someone local, someone with a vested interest in their mental and spiritual well being. The padre was a caring and sincere guy, and now that he knew that members of his flock needed special attention, I was certain they would receive it.

  The four of us started to head towards the temple’s back garden five minutes early, taking into account Ames’ ankle and Rick’s weakened state. The humans took their teleportation back home to Limt. Then I carried Ames onto the Circle of Transport. The feline was half asleep in my arms when the heat and humidity of Eastern Hook melted away. In the blink of an eye, we were back in the cool and dry safety of the Arcane University. Guest quarters were acquired, and I took my mate to their temporary home for the next few weeks.

  Chapter 12

  “I’m fine. If you get in the way again, I’m going to shank you.”

  I sighed. “Yes dear.”

  A week had passed since our trip to Eastern Hook. But escorting Ames around the Arcane University had become an adventure all on its own.

  Stubbornness and independence are excellent traits in an adventurer. They’re awful traits in a convalescent were-cat. Ames was fine with bedrest when I was around, because that meant pampering and other forms of entertainment. But the moment I had to go somewhere, the feline wanted to leave the guest room. Being an adventurer of growing fame, Ames could easily command the attention of young and impressionable students. And of course being a feline, that amused my mate to no end. Ames soon had a virtual army of students following us around between classes.

  I understood that it was rare for Ames to be absolved of all responsibilities for a day, nevermind weeks at a time. And of course, I was glad that the cat was making new friends and being generally social. However riding around atop a Flat Mule spell while students showered Ames with flower petals, though amusing, probably wasn’t the type of convalescence that the clerics had in mind. We also got strange looks from staff and faculty.

  Hemitath didn’t seem to mind though. Something about raising the profile of adventuring within the school. The Headmaster even granted Ames access to the East Wing despite not being a student. The were-
cat was giving occasional guest lectures on practical adventuring, as well as spending late nights hanging out at the bottom of the Apprentice Library with Parsnip and the gang.

  The fact that Ames was wearing the Ring of Leaping did ease my mind somewhat. If there was a trip or fall, the instant mental invocation of the ring would prevent all injury. Still, all of the self imposed stress on my mate’s body would just prolong their recovery time. And Ames didn’t really… listen to me very much as far as medical matters went. Twice now I had to go directly to the cleric on our case, and get Ames scolded that way.

  Yesterday, one of those scoldings had taken place. So the were-cat was being somewhat more tame and restful. Somewhat. I arrived at my classroom door, almost relieved to be rid of my precious feline for a while. “Okay. The library is just up the hall to the right. Try not to get ambushed by a vampire on the way.”

  As I opened the door, I felt the cat’s cane impact firmly upon my flank. “Go learn something.” was Ames’ rumbled advice. As I closed the door, I heard the cat cry out, “I am here, my minions!”

  Did I mention that a little bit of poppy and catnip were part of the daily pain relief?

  Despite distractions, I was doing well. I had passed my next apprentice testing element, that being practical magic. The Rope Trick cantrip was mine. I could command a rope to climb into the air, slither across the room, or descend down a cliffside. Useful for both mountain climbing and working on a boat. Professor Loke was quite impressed at my detailed analysis of how the Rope Trick could be used to set up or repair rigging. I received top marks.

  In order to be fair to the other students, I wasn’t allowed to have overnight stays in Ames’ guest quarters very frequently. That was fine early on, since the pain and the medication during the first weeks prevented any interesting nocturnal activities. Today however, the were-cat was dropping many less than subtle hints. Between classes and at every meal, I was subjected to all kinds of pokes, prods, and nips. Clearly my mate wanted some stress relief.