Another Stupid Trilogy

by Bill Ricardi

  Tara’s voice was shaky as she requested, “Some help please?”

  The minotaurs were backing as the throng of leathery cultists closed in. Big help was coming though. Leeson finished his last spell and stomped into the front lines, flanking Tara between himself and Toby. I knew that even though nobody would see it, the young mage cast Leeson’s Living Layer, and a roaming invisible shield would be defending him. Ames, having successfully watched over Leeson’s final preparations, appeared next to Toby. I say ‘appeared’ because under the effects of the Haste spell, it was difficult to track the were-cat’s movements. With enhanced speed, the already fast feline was going to be a handful.

  Just before the throng crashed into our front line, Toby said, “Tara. Spot for Sorch.” Those four simple words defined our entire strategy. I knew my role. While the paladin, combat mage, and rogue held back the tide, Tara would fight defensively and look for the leaders amongst the cultists. And I would do my best to end them. I was to be the counter-puncher. And ultimately, the group’s magical assassin.

  Ames waited to unsheath their new blade until the last possible second. I had seen my mate practice this technique in the past, and could attest that the process was blindingly fast even without a Haste spell. The were-cat struck with that initial drawing motion, firebrand sabre roaring to life as a scimitar wielding lizardman got too close. The cultist’s blade was beat wide before he received a deep, burning cut that opened him up from breastbone to shoulder. Even as the screaming blue-green creature stumbled back, a heavily muscled human brute swung her broadaxe at Ames’ face. Natural awareness and unnatural speed allowed the were-cat to roll to the left. The warrior woman’s blade sailed over Ames’ head, missing by over a handbreadth. By the time the cultist’s axe was back in guard position, the feline was already circling along the curvature of the arena’s outside wall.

  On the opposite flank, the cultists had never seen anything like Leeson. Hells, I had never seen anything like Leeson. The young human was a hulk. As tall as Toby, as fast as the wind, with an invisible friend that could shield his back. It was a recipe for malice. The melee mage’s Ironwood staff flashed in a double arc as he whipped it around in a figure eight motion. The three cultists facing him started to backpedal, nervously. For good reason as it turned out. The giant mage waded in with an overhead strike. The half orc’s small buckler wasn’t enough to stop the momentum of Leeson’s blow. After glancing off of the rounded shield, the staff crushed the humanoid’s shoulder. The impact was so brutal that it stole the creature’s scream, half of his chest displaced as a result of the downward strike. The human cultist on my friend’s left flank thrust his tulwar at the giant mage’s kidney. Leeson’s invisible floating shield intercepted the blow, much to the cultist’s confusion. The counter from the melee mage was immediate and brutal, crushing into the smaller human’s neck and jaw, taking the swordsman out of the fight.

  Toby was a force of nature. Magically fast, divinely strong, and wielding the legendary Axe of McGrondle, the minotaur was being actively avoided by most of the cultists. The first to stand against him was a barbarian woman with a blood encrusted warhammer. Her first testing blow was knocked aside by Toby’s buckler. The second was blocked by the minotaur’s axehead, runes crawling hungrily along the surface as it easily absorbed the impact. The paladin’s counter was a diagonal chop that separated the woman’s head and the upper right part of her torso from the remainder of her body. The rest of the cultists surrounding Toby milled uncertainly just outside of his effective range.

  “Mages 10 and 1!”

  Tara’s warning left me with an impossible decision. Even with my quickest spell, I wouldn’t be able to stop both of them. I chose the one ahead and slightly to my right, simply because he was farther away and might feel he was safe enough to try a long, complex, but devastating spell. I held up both hands to cast one of my oldest and most reliable spells. The Force Bolt knocked the cultist sorcerer back, almost causing him to fall into the still-forming hole in the center of the Colosseum floor. He scrambled on all fours, fighting against the tide of sliding sand.

  Sadly, that meant the half elven mage was able to finish her spell. A portal opened upon the pillar behind Toby and to his left. The rain of fist-sized hailstones shattered against the paladin's chainmail, bruising and freezing his flesh, sending thin shards of ice through the gaps in the metal and the thin leather lining underneath. Seeing my big friend bleeding and pained, his adversaries quickly crowded in and tried to overwhelm him.

  I saw a string of white flashes in the distance. Tanya caught her quarry. Magic Missiles stung the flesh of the elven elementalist. His fire elemental started to slowly wander around the far side of the arena, uncontrolled, as its master focused on this new magical duel.

  A nearly hairless wererat tried to get to me through the gap between Tara and Leeson. Just as I was about to draw my dagger, the floating warhammer took matters into its own hands, as it were. It drew itself up high, directly above the stalking cultist. The hammer seemed to hesitate for a moment before swinging and falling with brutal force.

  Above the sound of a cracking wererat spine, Tara shouted, “3 o’clock!”

  To my right, high in the stadium’s stone seating, I saw an emaciated elven archer draw a strange looking arrow back. I palmed the beetle guts from my pouch and started casting. Sadly, I finished my Acid Bolts at the same time that the cultist found his opening and loosed the projectile from his shortbow.

  The glass-bulbed arrow impacted with Leeson’s wandering invisible shield, but that hardly mattered. It was the conjured cloud of scalding steam that would do the real damage. My young friend screamed, covering his face with one arm as he stumbled backwards out of the cloud. In that moment of weakness, a speartip pierced his robes and poked into the human’s hip. He managed to recover, thanks in part to the supernatural speed provided by his Haste spell. Two follow up blows were parried by the blur of a spinning Ironwood staff as the melee mage grimly took up a more defensive stance.

  My only satisfaction, as the drain of my orcish curse scraped at the outer edges of my mind, was seeing the aftermath of my own attack. The elf’s unarmored chest and belly had been hollowed out by my Acid Bolt spell. There would be no second chance for him.

  On the left side, however, the smallest of our front line was proving to be the most devastating. Ames removed the axe maiden’s right arm and delivered the coup de grace to the writhing lizardman. There were panicked shouts from the cultists, who couldn’t imagine that a counterattack would have been viable given their numbers. But they were wrong. Ames was among them. The were-cat’s incredible celerity proved the undoing of an old sickle wielding human, his chest pierced and heart burned out before he could put up any defense. The flash of a firebrand sabre then shattered the skull of the second mage, who was so caught up in continuing her attack against Toby that she ignored the warning and sudden retreat of her front line.

  This was good news for Toby. As Ames single handedly pushed back the enemy’s entire left flank, two of the minotaur’s attackers were forced to pull back and consolidate their ranks, or fall victim to the deadly rogue themselves. Toby got away from the savage group attack with only a couple of slashes to his ankles and his forearm. The surge of Divine Strength allowed the paladin to hold his ground and push back his attackers when they attempted to mob him. Now, with only two foes directly in his face, the Axe of McGrondle could get back to work. Its enchanted blade hacked through the next cultist’s scimitar and wrist alike. Fragments of steel and bone fell to the sand below.

  The lessening of pressure on the left allowed Tara to shift her attention to the right, and come to the struggling and winded Leeson’s aid. A merciless shield bash fractured the nose of the human who had attempted to duck under Leeson’s guard. The burned and bleeding mage, now assisted by the cleric, finally managed to stabilize the right flank.

  That left me with options. I started to cast my next spell, looking to make an example out of
one of the cultists.

  The far side of the arena was on fire. I suppose we should have expected nothing less with two desert mages fighting tooth and nail. From here it was hard to tell who was winning. Tanya possessed superior speed and cover, but the elven elementalist’s talent was an unknown factor. It was out of our control, for the moment.

  The mage that had been knocked down earlier made his way to the far right side of the Colosseum. Perhaps he was looking for an angle to cast his next spell. Perhaps he was attempting to escape. I removed all but one of his options. When the metal links slipped from my fingers and disappeared forever, I knew I had him. An otherworldly rattling accompanied the appearance of pulsing black eldritch chains. The other mage screamed in terror as he was bound to me. The massive drain on my intellect made me feel lightheaded, like after a night of drinking and chewing on ephen leaves. But the mental drain did nothing to inhibit my physical strength. I grabbed the Ebon Chains of Binding and yanked brutally, reeling in the struggling man as his feet slid over the sand, unable to find any purchase. The looks of horror from the cultists battling Leeson and Tara told me that my spell was having the desired effect. It took me no time at all to slide the writhing mage across the sands. He looked up just in time to see my body falling forward, knee leading. I felt that skull buckle under the full weight of my body. There was no need to look down to see the aftermath of my brutal attack against the prone mage. The Ebon Chains disappeared, making the result a certainty.

  “It’s coming!”

  It took us a moment to see what the cultists were shouting about. But then Toby clarified, “Fire elemental incoming.”

  The next few moments were chaos. All of the cultists who were able to flee scrambled up the walls or ran for the East and West archways. The two of us mobile and healthy enough to move quickly, Ames and myself, bolted up opposite sides of the arena. I had never run flat out under the effects of a Haste spell, but suffice it to say that I feared as much for my own life as anyone that I might have accidentally plowed into. My peripheral vision was just a blur of darkness and the glow of fire as I approached the North side of the stadium.

  Then I heard Ames’ voice from up ahead and to the left. “Hold, Sorch. It’s over.”

  I skidded to a halt and allowed my eyes to adjust to the light being produced by the residual fires. Tanya was standing, hands held out towards the fire elemental as it made its way down the slope of sand towards the very center of the Colosseum. Her red robes were singed and blackened, and the chaos mage looked shaky on her feet. But she was in far better shape than the elf, who was nothing more than a blackened husk on the ground.

  Ames and I stood guard over the chaos witch. None of the remaining cultists seemed to want any trouble however. They disappeared like rats from a sinking ship, making use of every possible egress. After reaching the center of the indentation, the fire elemental seemed to sink into the earth, following the flow of sand that had come before.

  Tanya let out a half held breath. She said, “It’s going to assess the damage and see what can be done to plug it up. First with glass, then eventually with enough effort and some help, a controlled lava flow. If repair is possible at all.”

  I asked, “Can you walk?”

  She grimaced, but nodded. “Slowly. I twisted an ankle escaping from the worst part of a Fireball.”

  We each lent the mage a shoulder and helped her to limp back to the rest of the party. Toby performed the Laying of Hands on Leeson, who was still burnt, but seemed to be in much less pain. Tara invoked some initial healing on Toby, and was now helping the paladin to remove his chainmail coat so that the remaining cuts from the ice shards could be treated and bandaged in mundane fashion. Ever the trooper, Toby reached out to our newest ally and invoked the minor healing prayer granted by Aro-Remset, even as he himself was being bandaged. Tanya gasped in relief, the pain of her more severe burns fading, and her twisted ankle mostly mended.

  With our healing exhausted, Toby was still bloodied and frozen, Leeson’s torso was scalded by steam from collarbone to pelvis, and everyone else was suffering from minor wounds. Save for myself, which was a testament to the skill and tenacity of our melee presence.

  “This one’s still alive.”

  We walked, hobbled, and limped over to Ames, who was standing above the one armed axe maiden. The were-cat’s firebrand sword had mostly cauterised the grievous wound, though the woman was clearly in bad shape.

  She scowled up at us and said, “It still ends. It will all end.”

  An irrational surge of anger coursed through my body. In that moment I didn’t care if she was a prisoner. I didn’t care if she was dying. I wanted answers.

  I bared my teeth and snarled at the fallen warrior, “Which demon is behind this? Which god would cause this kind of naked devastation?”

  The axe maiden laughed, the sound weak but derisive all the same. “Demons? Gods? They are not in control here. You, Stonebreaker, you are not in control here.”

  Ames hissed, “How do you know his name, wench?”

  The dying woman licked the blood from her lips and closed her eyes, “It is part of the Hum. The Hum said the two orcs would meddle. It said that we should drill a great hole all the way from the ocean into the desert. The Hum wishes to wash the world clean.”

  Leeson murmured, “They were trying to sink it all. Flood the entire valley from Glasson to the Ruins of Poth. That’s insane.”

  The woman’s eyes snapped open. “Insane is living by the words of gods and archmages and bishops. Insane is living in a world that is trying to kill you. It all must end. The Hum will end it.”

  I asked, “If nobody is behind this stupid cult of yours, where do you get the power to do all this?”

  With her last breath, the woman spat, “The Hum. That which it breaks, you shall not mend.”

  Then, silence.

  We collected the camels and made camp under the shelter of the southern entryway. The mages sent out the Messages we prepared, while Toby and Leeson chewed on some of Ames’ coca leaves to relieve the pain on the inevitable ride back to civilization. Ames and Tara conducted a half-hearted search of the area, but other than a few copper and silver, there was nothing to salvage. We all needed a couple hours of rest. I would mostly top up my intellect enhancements and be ready for the return journey. And of course, despite the pain, Leeson would have to Reduce our large friends for the ride back.

  It was Tara who motivated us to get off our butts and mount up. She chided, “Come on lazybones. We can make Omi-Suteth’s temple in Glasson just after sun-up. We get our healing, some sleep, and the accolades that go hand in hand with a job well done.”

  Even Toby was eyeing the cleric after that pep talk.

  Tara asked, “What, too cheery?”

  Her husband grunted and said, “Just a little bit.”

  Tara was correct though. We would have to ride at pace if we wanted to avoid making camp again. The cleric rode close to Toby, and Tanya close to Leeson just in case the wounded and coca-dosed men started to fall out of the saddle. The chaos mage was speaking quietly with my young human friend all the while. I thought that she was picking his brain about the other planes again. But upon riding a bit closer, I eavesdropped on a different kind of conversation.

  “...she is a very spirited creature. You need to know when to match that spirit, and when to comply.”

  Leeson asked, “How do I know that, though? Half the time it’s noses and kisses, the other half it’s snarling and claws.”

  Tanya advised, “You need to learn the body language. Watch the tail. Stiff and still is angry or upset. Fluid and waggy is happy and playful.”

  Leeson sighed, “Then she accuses me of looking at her rump all the time.”

  Tanya laughed softly, “But you can turn that into a positive thing. Just…”

  I drifted back out of range. It was a good thing that Leeson was getting some sage advice from another woman where Jess was concerned. The were-wolf lass could be a h
andful. But it was none of my business, and I had my own were-creature who was a constant source of mystery.

  The sun had been up for over an hour and a half, but we were close. We powered through the morning heat until the silhouette of Glasson grew in our vision. A couple of minutes away from the low wall that bordered the open market, Tanya brought her camel to a halt.

  The chaos witch said, “This is where we part ways.”

  I asked, “Did you want to come to the temple and have your ankle looked at? I’m paying.”

  The red robed woman shook her head. “We have our own holy people. I know a man, not far from here. I shall have shelter from the sun before I journey home.”

  Leeson offered the other mage a tired smile. He said, “Thanks, for everything.”

  Tanya’s reply was directed at everyone, “You all go take care of your things, both civilized and wild. Do not be disturbed by those whose minds are touched by the sun. We will speak to the men of glass. There will be a peace, and together we will keep this place safe.”

  Toby said, “Your help was, and continues to be, very much appreciated Tanya. Wish your mother well for us.”

  The chaos mage nodded curtly. Then she turned her camel and trotted off to the East, towards the rising sun.

  The Temple of Omi-Suteth was more than happy to receive us. I remember thinking: ‘Of course. Injured adventurers meant more donations, so why wouldn’t they?’ Perhaps I was being a bit more cynical than usual given recent interactions with the goddess in question.

  Still, the healing was very welcome. Seeing Toby and Leeson resting without pain was worth every copper. Once everyone was tended to, our business in Glasson was done. We were just waiting in the congregational assembly area as one of the acolytes arranged transport back to the Arcane University. Then we could debrief with Max and get some much needed sleep.

  We were comparing the temples that hosted Circles of Transport. Leeson favored this garden over the rest, while I of course preferred the rock garden at the Temple of Omi-Suteth in Royal Moffit.