Another Stupid Trilogy

by Bill Ricardi

  I glanced over my shoulder. “Sorry, I’m a bit distra-”

  She cut me off, “Go to your cat. I’m fine here.”

  Leeson made his way over to us. He was limping slightly, bleeding from an upper leg wound. He also had the start of an impressive black eye, looking vaguely pommel-shaped. He said, “Go, I’ll stay with Tara.”

  I didn’t need to be told a third time. I retrieved my mate’s sabre on the way over, pulling it from the overgrown lizard’s sizzling skull just as the feathers surrounding the wound burst into flame. When I got over there, Benno was dabbing at the were-cat’s damp face with a cloth that he had fished out of his pack. Toby’s glowing hands were just withdrawing, as the final bit of Aro-Remset’s healing was channeled into Ames.

  I asked, softly, “How are you feeling?”

  Ames responded, just as softly, “Blind.”

  Toby was quick to point out, “We treated the acidic venom right away. There’s a good chance that the effects are temporary.”

  The were-cat said, “It’s my own damn fault. Bit off more than I could chew that time.”

  I carefully slid the cat’s sabre into its sheath, extinguishing the flame. “Actually, you killed it. I would call that a pretty good chewing, love.”

  Toby rose. His eyes were elsewhere as he said, “Ames, you’re going to require further care. We need to get you out of here.”

  Seeing the big man’s distraction, it was my turn to say, “Go. She’s got temporary paralysis from the basilisk, she’ll need to be evacuated too.”

  The paladin hurried over to speak with Tara, as we completed our swap of convalescent mates.

  Benno put away his cloth as he said, “I can summon a Flat Mule. We can take them back down towards the town. Most of the fires are East, Southeast, and West.” Then the younger orc’s green, hazel-flecked eyes became distant. “It’s Max.”

  I waited quietly as my son took the Headmaster’s Message. My gloved hands stroked Ames’ neck, eliciting a weak, rumbled purr from the feline.

  Benno said, “The ship is a few minutes out. They’re going to start seeding the seabed along the Trench with the ten Arcane Syphons. I told him that we needed to get Ames and Tara to safety. Dad, I don’t know what to do. I need to get on that ship, but I can’t just abandon you all.”

  I replied, “If you told Max, then help is on the way. Sit tight for a few minutes while the Taboo gets into range.”

  My son looked bewildered. He said, “There’s fighting everywhere. There’s fires. Cultists. Elementals. How can you be sure that Max is sending help?”

  It was Ames who answered, “Kiddo, either we’re holding our own and we’ll get help. Or we’re getting creamed and we’re all dead anyway. Either way, you have a ship to catch.”

  I voiced my agreement, “It’s true. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. We’ll just sit here and enjoy the view.”

  Ames snarled at my obvious prodding, “I hate you so much right now.”

  “I know.”

  Our banter was interrupted by a shout from Tara, “Wings on the horizon!”

  Benno and I looked out to sea. The younger orc’s keen eyes spotted the danger before my more ‘seasoned’ perception caught up. I followed the line of his pointing finger until I too saw that distant, deadly butterfly.

  At that moment, the silhouette of the Stasis Dragon was remote. Tiny. But the speed with which it cruised over the ocean left no doubt in my mind that the creature of legend could be upon us within minutes.

  Benno said, “I don’t understand. It’s heading in the opposite direction of the Taboo. And it’s circling.”

  My reply was grim, “That’s because it isn’t looking for the Taboo, son. It’s looking for the only two people on Panos with a history of destroying Arcane Syphons.”

  My son’s head whipped around. He stared at me in shock as realization set in.

  I continued to watch the Stasis Dragon slowly spiral closer. There would be no outrunning it. Benno reached out to squeeze my left forearm tightly. Ames was already doing the same with my opposite hand. We were all thinking the same thing: If it had to end, at least we would be with family.

  I murmured, mostly to myself, “Come on then, you son of a bitch. We’re right here.”

  Chapter 20

  Unexpectedly, a different son of a bitch arrived.

  Laoghaire bounded out of the woods behind us. Smelling blood and ichor, the giant white wolf started snarling at the deceased basilisk. I had to walk over and lay a hand on the big lupine’s shoulder before he would calm down.

  “He’s dead, my friend.”

  Laoghaire snorted. He turned his rump to the creature and swiped his hind paws on the ground a couple of times, ‘burying’ the basilisk once and for all.

  That made me chuckle, despite our dire situation. “You’re alone?” I asked.

  That great head nodded once.

  Benno called out, “I see the Taboo! It’s coming around the tip of the peninsula. It should be below us in a few minutes.”

  I said, “We need a plan.”

  But Toby already had one. He asked Leeson, “Can you Reduce Tara?”

  Benno already saw where the paladin’s thoughts were headed. My son helped Ames up. The two of them walked over to join me next to the giant wolf. Ames used Laoghaire as support so that the were-cat could remain standing while Leeson answered.

  “I can Reduce Tara, Ames can ride in front, and we can lash them both to Laoghaire’s saddle.”

  Tara snorted and asked, “Don’t we get a say in this?”

  Leeson, Toby, and I all said, “No.” at the same time.

  Benno likely would have joined us, but he was touching the white wolf’s shoulder. He reported, “Laoghaire says that Braxen has been held, so far. Hemitath has rallied the mages that arrived by wagon. The ex-sailors have pitched in on the defense. He says they’ve set up an infirmary. He made it up here without getting too close to fire, so the path back is clear.”

  I said, “Leeson, Benno. After Tara is Reduced, help her and Ames into the saddle and get them both secured, please.”

  While my son and ‘little brother’ did as they were asked, I dragged Toby further away. We huddled together by the cliff’s edge, speaking in the faintest of whispers.

  I murmured, “I have a plan.”

  Toby said, tiredly, “I know the plan, my friend. The Stasis Dragon is hunting you. If our mates are to escape and your son is to play his role, we need to be more convincing targets than they are.”

  I nodded. “And we can’t run, because-”

  My friend cut me off, “Because if Benno is the easier target, it turns on him. So we fight the legendary dragon, which is apparently impervious to mortal forces.”

  I murmured, “Yes. About that…”

  I proceeded to lay out my plan for Toby. The minotaur labeled it as ‘insane’ more than once. But upon hearing the whole thing, he agreed that it was our best chance.

  Toby glanced over to where our mates had been secured, and our friends and family waited. He said, “You have to tell them yourself.”

  I asked, “Why?”

  The paladin reminded me, softly, “Because I can’t lie, Sorch.”

  I nodded to my friend, slowly. We walked back over to the rest of the group.

  I said, “As we speak, the Syphons are being sunk all along the rim of the trench. We can destroy them and attempt to seal the hole in Panos at the same time. But with the Stasis Dragon closing in, we need to buy time for Benno to get down to the Taboo. And it has to be soon, as Max is likely about to Fly out there himself and clear the area of elementals.”

  Benno said, “I can Soft Fall from here and glide out to the ship.”

  I said, “That’s the plan. In fact, we’re all splitting up. While Benno glides, the four of you will head back to town. That way any reports will have our party heading North, not out to sea. Meanwhile, Toby and I will lead the Stasis Dragon on a merry chase.”

  Leeson said, “Are you insa
ne? You can’t outrun that thing!”

  I shook my head. “No, but it isn’t faster than gravity. Once we have its attention, we’ll jump. And we have the Axe of McGrondle. We can use our own Levitation and Soft Fall, and then some well timed Fog. We should be able to get down to the sea caves and carve out a passage that the Stasis Dragon can’t get into. Then we dig in. With luck, that will buy Benno enough time to do his Astral tricks.”

  My son was silent. He walked back to the cliff’s edge, peering out at the sea, perhaps trying to catch a glimpse of the Taboo. There were some general grumbles from the others, but they didn’t have a better plan. Leeson took a metallic potion bottle from his pouch. He quaffed the potion of Minor Healing so that he wouldn’t be slowing the group down with his limping.

  Toby was already taking off his backpack. I followed suit. “We need to travel light for this. I hope Laoghaire won’t mind.” We added our packs to the white wolf’s already significant load. In typical relaxed fashion, Laoghaire had no objection to being used as a pack mule.

  Ames tried to play the pity card, “You’re going to leave a poor, blind kitten out in these woods at the mercy of a big bad wolf?”

  It took every ounce of self control that I had to remain composed. I wanted to say ‘No’. I wanted to cry. Instead I turned the trussed-up were-cat’s head so that I could plant a fierce kiss on Ames’ muzzle. When it was over, I simply said, “Yup.”

  Toby took the opportunity to share a kiss with his wife as well, though it was more chaste. Then he said, “Get them to Braxen safely, Leeson.”

  The young mage raised a hand in farewell, and then trotted alongside Laoghaire. The four disappeared into the woods.

  Benno was still looking out to sea. I thought he was watching the approach of the dragon, or the progress of the Taboo. It was only when he turned to face me that I saw the real story.

  My son stared at me, his face a mask of pain and tears dripping from his green cheeks. He had been hiding his reaction from the rest of the group. He knew.

  “You can’t outrun it.”

  It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. My voice broke as I said, “The smartest orc on all of Panos.”

  There was a mighty crack as Toby drove the Axe of McGrondle into the rock. Then he took another couple of steps and let fly again, the artifact weapon biting deeply into the cliff with every blow.

  Benno walked up to me, fists clenched helplessly at his sides. “You’re not a distraction.”

  “No, son.”

  “You’re bait.”

  “Yeah.”

  The axe fell again, a cracked line being drawn in a broad semicircle along the cliff’s edge. When Toby was satisfied, he started his next project: Cutting a vaguely square boulder from the solid rock.

  My son’s shoulders were shaking now. Even with all of that intelligence, with all of that reasoning, he could only come to one conclusion. “It’s not fair!”

  I embraced my boy, allowing my own tears to fall freely now. He opened up his mind to me and in a few seconds I was able to share how much I loved and treasured every moment that I had with him. Benno shared his love for me, and his wish that we could trade places. Then I shared an image of Granite, and the sensation of holding him for the first time. In that instant my son knew that for Toby and I, there was no choice. This was about our mates and our children. It wasn’t a sacrifice. It’s just what fathers do.

  Toby created his boulder. It was so heavy the big minotaur could barely roll it out of the hole that he had made. Then he called over, “It’s coming. Fast.”

  I kissed my son’s forehead, even as I was reaching into one of my pouches. Using the Gloves of Secrecy, I took Rock into a pocket dimension. Then I rolled the silk gloves off of my gnarled hands and slid them onto Benno’s smoother fingers. “If you run out of spells in the Astral, you know what to do. Come on.”

  I escorted Benno over to the cliff’s edge, off to the side where Toby had started to make his incision in the rock. The minotaur dropped his axe briefly to give my son a powerful bearhug, which the young orc returned fiercely. Then Toby let Benno go, and went back toward the center of the area that he prepared.

  We peered over the side. The R. M. N. Taboo started to make her close pass. I saw a speck far below us, just starting to pass over the water: Headmaster Max under the effects of his Fly spell. I squeezed Benno’s shoulder, and simply said, “Go.”

  After a final teary glance back at me, the younger orc allowed himself to make the leap. His Soft Fall spell arrested most of gravity’s hold. Using his robes and cloak, my son started to guide his downward drift towards where the Taboo would be when he reached sea level. He needed enough time to land on the ship, cast Minor Polymorph while Max performed Gustov’s Disjunction, and get underwater.

  That was fine. Our plan involved all the time in the world.

  I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my robes, then took up position behind Toby. We were visible, exposed. Easy prey for a dragon. And I was about to announce my intention to stay right where I was.

  Taking out a small block of clay, I flattened it to resemble the ground. As the Stasis Dragon loomed closer, cutting through the sky with incredible speed, I started my Stone Shape incantation. The drain on my already taxed mind was intense, but I knew that I had enough intelligence left for one big spell before I reverted to my more base, primitive self. Once the sensation of loss passed, I prodded the flat clay until the ground shifted beneath me. Soon my feet were sinking into the earth, then my legs. When I was knee deep in rock, I formed the clay until the stone surrounding me was an incredibly tight fit. I was one with the cliff, tethered by the earth itself.

  The scaled gray creature that drifted towards us was the size of a church. The physical reality of it seemed impossible. Those wings shouldn’t support that whale-like bulk. As it closed to within a hundred paces, an aura of terror, of otherworldly wrongness washed over me. Every instinct in my body told me to run, so it was a good thing that I couldn’t. And Toby’s faith in Aro-Remset wouldn’t allow him to succumb to a pedestrian instinct such as fear. He was calmly murmuring a prayer.

  At thirty paces, the creature arrested its forward momentum and hovered. It regarded us with soulless gray eyes, before starting to crane its neck down and to the right. Towards my falling son.

  Toby decided to get its attention.

  Prayer finished, Aro-Remset’s Divine Strength filled my big friend. The rose-tinted aura was barely visible in the daylight, but I had no doubt that it was working. The minotaur easily picked up the boulder that he could barely move just moments before. With a powerful bellow, Toby hurled the massive chunk of earth towards the indecisive dragon.

  Toby’s boulder smashed into the Stasis Dragon with the force of a siege engine. The creature shrieked, sounding for all the world like a leviathan speared by a giant harpoon. It wasn’t used to this strange sensation. It hadn’t experienced pain in centuries. My ears were ringing in the aftermath of the legendary dragon’s cry. I would have checked for blood if my hands hadn’t been reaching into a pouch to grasp the component that I would need next.

  The powerful assault was enough to make up the Stasis Dragon’s mind. Even as I started casting, unable to hear my own incantation, the creature flapped its relatively small wings and took up a position just above us. Still Toby didn’t pick up his axe. He rolled his neck and cracked his knuckles, as if planning to wrestle with this fifty ton behemoth.

  The link of steel melted away, joining the thousands of other sacrifices I had made to magic. Sacrifices that included the remainder of my enhanced intellect. I was left with no viable magic. No more tricks. Nothing clever to think of or to say. My mind was locked on a single, simple thought: Protect my boy.

  The Ebon Chains of Binding produced a ghostly metallic rattling that was so loud and jarring, it managed to cut through the ringing in my ears. The pulsing black chains surrounded me and stretched up into the heavens. They wrapped around the Stasis Dragon, entangling its to
rso and fouling the base of its wings. Still the creature didn’t fall from the sky, due to its odd relationship with gravity.

  An odd relationship that Toby planned to take full advantage of.

  Powerful minotaur arms, enhanced by the strength of Aro-Remset’s own divinity, wrapped around the taut eldritch links. The Stasis Dragon started to struggle, but its own freakish buoyancy worked against it. Those fouled wings, already weak relative to the size of the beast, weren’t able to produce enough lift. I added my own strength to the effort, reeling in the slack and permanently closing the gap every time Toby yanked the dragon closer.

  The Stasis Dragon was trapped. It had never been trapped before. Gone were all ideas of melee prowess. Gone was its timeless invulnerability and composure. It started to thrash in the air, helplessly swatting at the taut chains with claws that could rend stone. But as Gideon taught me not so long ago, the Ebon Chains of Binding only disappear when the duration runs out or when one of the bound targets dies. I guess the creature hadn’t studied advanced hexes.

  Toby shifted his weight, edging closer to the Axe of McGrondle so that he would have it on hand when the time came. The Stasis Dragon was only a dozen paces away. Ten.

  The great dragon finally realized how it could overcome this predicament. It would solve this puzzle the way that it had solved so many puzzles over the millennia.

  I saw the creature’s neck crane back. It started to inhale with such force that twigs and pebbles were lifted off the ground. That was our cue. I screamed, “Now Toby!”

  My friend let go of the chains and rolled, deftly grabbing his weapon in the process. He found his hooves swiftly, and with a wordless cry the paladin swung the Axe of McGrondle one last time.

  You see, minotaurs know stone. They can detect the slightest downward pitch in a cave deep underground. They know when an earthquake is happening a hundred miles away. And they know exactly how much force is required to destabilize the edge of a cliff.

  The Axe of McGrondle bit into the stone, driven on by Toby’s corded muscles and the Divine Strength of his god. It finished the job that my friend started earlier. The crack that Toby had created became a rift. Tons of stone separated from the rest of the cliff. We started to slide just as the Stasis Dragon unleashed its ultimate weapon.