Rewriting Destiny

by Meredith Taylor

  “Paul is just a machine,” Marshall shot back, his eyes fiery with emotion. “I’m a person and this is my life. This is my decision to make. I can be careful. I can do this, Kyle. This is the only way out for me. There’s no other decision I can make. Do you think I can just go up to Coach Barker and tell him that Quinton might have done something to my gear and I need to drop out of the match? He’ll laugh in my face. It sounds ludicrous. It is ludicrous! You can’t place all of your faith in that machine, Kyle. You can’t let it control your life, or try to control my life because of it. You need to let me decide.”

  “Right now,” Kyle said, his voice breaking, “I need you to trust me.” Kyle walked up until he was only a few inches away from Marshall. Marshall could see the redness around his eyes. Had he been crying? In that instant, all Marshall wanted to do was comfort Kyle, to take him away from that stadium and to show Kyle how he truly felt. But none of that was possible. Kyle spoke again, his expression showing the strain he was taking: “I’m doing this because I’ve realized something. I’ve fallen for you, Marshall. I don’t want to see you get hurt, because I wouldn’t be able to stand the fact that I didn’t protect the man I have feelings for.” Kyle reached out to touch Marshall’s hand, and Marshall became dizzy with emotion. Was this really happening? All these years, Kyle had meant so much to Marshall but he had been unable to say anything. And now, standing face to face with Kyle, finally hearing the words he had longed to hear, Marshall had no idea what to do.

  He pulled his hand away from Kyle’s, and said, “Kyle, I can’t…” Marshall turned around, unable to look at the expression on Kyle’s face. Everything Marshall had steeled himself against before was suddenly undone. He had no defenses anymore.

  Kyle whispered in a labored voice: “I’ll go. I can’t watch this.” Marshall heard Kyle leave the room just as Coach Barker’s voice rang through the locker room. The other guys were already at the passageway leading to the field. It was time for the match to begin.

  As Marshall waked away from Kyle, towards the field, he saw Reinhardt waiting for him just outside of the changing area. Marshall greeted him with a weak smile. Reinhardt said: “I’m so glad you’re back, Marshall. You have no idea how much it means to me.” Marshall nodded, but didn’t say a word. Reinhardt continued speaking, his blue eyes looking deep into Marshall’s: “After the match, I want us to have a new beginning. But we have all the time in the world to talk about that. Right now, let’s go win this championship!” Reinhardt slapped Marshall’s shoulder and ran towards the field, and Marshall followed. His feet felt like lead as he walked towards the entrance. The moment had finally come.

  Chapter 27

  Kyle’s apartment was unusually quiet that afternoon. Usually, being just off campus, Kyle could hear the sounds of students going about their days, and visiting the nearby shops in Villier Street. But Kyle figured that everyone was probably at the rugby match, celebrating the event that had brought Kyle so much dread.

  He had gotten a few messages from Paul after he left the rugby stadium, but the messages did nothing but annoy him. What use was it being able to predict the future if Kyle could do nothing to change it? He turned his phone off as soon as he arrived at home, wanting to drown out the world. Kyle curled up on his bed, sinking into the thick, white duvet. He had done his best. He had followed Paul’s advice. Paul had told him that the only variable he wasn’t able to account for, the only one that still made his predictions inaccurate, was the effect of love. If Kyle went to the stadium and was honest with Marshall, Paul said that there might still be a chance to get Marshall to stay off the field. But it hadn’t worked. All Kyle was met with was another dead end. He had been trying for so long to get through to Marshall, but it felt like every time they got a bit closer, Marshall would simply push Kyle away again. It felt useless. Of all the predictions Paul had made, Marshall’s injury at the championship finals was the one that Kyle most wanted to act on. It was the only one that really mattered. After all they had been through, Kyle was left alone, with no idea of what had happened to Marshall.

  It had been almost twenty minutes since Kyle had left the stadium. The first half of the match would be in full swing – if nothing serious had happened to Marshall. Kyle felt his stomach in knots. He hated the fact that he felt so useless. He wondered if it would have been better for him to be there at the stadium; maybe then he could do something to prevent whatever was about to happen to Marshall. But what would he do? Tell the coach or Marshall’s father that he had a machine that could predict the future? They would laugh in his face. The only person who could prevent catastrophe was Marshall, and he seemed determined to ignore everything Kyle had told him.

  What added to Kyle’s pain was the fact that Marshall seemed so cold towards him when Kyle had bared his soul. There seemed to be such a strong connection between them. It felt real. Was it all in Kyle’s head? Had he just put too much faith in the wrong guy again, just like he had done so many times in the past? No, this was different. Kyle knew that. No one had ever broken down Kyle’s defenses in quite the way Marshall had. No one had ever made Kyle question himself and want to be a better man. Kyle knew that he had fallen deeply, and he couldn’t face the idea that Marshall didn’t seem to feel the same way. The way they kissed, the moments they shared, all felt like everything Kyle had been waiting for.

  Kyle stood up from the bed, feeling numb. The exhaustion of the past few weeks had finally caught up with him. He was still in danger of losing his spot at the Academy since he couldn’t find a new supervisor. He had no other options since Prof. Greer had essentially blacklisted him by dropping him as a student. And now Marshall wanted nothing to do with him, and there was nothing he could do to protect Marshall. Even though Paul was back, it felt like little consolation after everything that Kyle had lost.

  He walked towards the entrance of his flat, grabbing his car keys. Even though he was feeling so low, Kyle didn’t want to be alone. He still had a friend he could turn to, someone he could trust through everything. He turned his phone back on, preparing to call Riana and hang out with her for the evening. Hopefully she could distract him from everything. Hopefully she could say something to ease his guilt about not being able to protect Marshall.

  But as Kyle opened the door, he was met with a face he hadn’t expected to see. He almost fell backwards in surprise. In his doorway, out of breath, still wearing his pristine rugby gear and holding his gym bag in his hand, was Marshall.

  “What are you doing here?” Kyle let out, completely befuddled.

  “Kyle… I’m so happy I found you.” Marshall leaned against the doorframe, struggling to catch his breath. “I ran over here as quickly as I could. I wasn’t even sure if it was your place. I just got a message on my phone giving me this address, and I decided to trust it.”

  Kyle smiled contentedly. “Paul,” he said out loud, silently thanking his guardian angel for helping Marshall find him.

  “I went out onto the field, but I couldn’t go through with it. I saw all those people, everyone waiting to see me lead the team to victory. But the only place I wanted to be was with you. I’m so sorry for being so cold with you. I thought I owed it to everyone else to play the match. I thought that no one would accept me if I didn’t live up to what they wanted me to be. But you accepted me, Kyle. You were there for me, supporting me through it all. You listened to me sing, and encouraged me to follow my heart. And I did that again today. I followed my heart back to you.”

  Kyle lunged forward to squeeze Marshall in a tight hug. He felt like he never wanted to let Marshall go. All he wanted to do was to keep Marshall safe, and there he was, in front of Kyle, in his arms. “I’m so glad that you’re here. I couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you. You mean too much to me. I knew that I had to let you make your own decision, but you have no idea how difficult that was for me.”

  “I know it was,” Marshall laughed. “And I made the decision to trust you. I’m sorry for doubting y
ou in the first place. I knew, deep down, that you were trying to look out for me. But I was too focused on being a martyr, sacrificing my own happiness for everyone else. It’s kind of freeing to just run away and do what I want.”

  Kyle broke the hug and looked into Marshall’s eyes, a frown forming on his face: “I’m glad you did it. But what about your dad? I thought you said he came to see you today.”

  Marshall had a satisfied grin on his face as he said: “I called my dad as I grabbed my gym bag and ran out of there. I told him I had to choose my own path and see where it led me. He said he was happy for me, proud of me. He said that ever since his health scare he’s realized that life is too short to play by the rules all the time. All he wants is for me to be happy, and he could see how unhappy I was. He told me that if it would make me happy to leave, to go to you, that he would support me one hundred percent. He stayed for the match to support the team.

  “Just before I left I asked Coach Barker to let Reinhardt take over as captain for the match. I think he’ll do a good job of inspiring the guys on the team. Coach Barker wasn’t very happy with me, but a team has to be about more than one player anyway. I’m sure they’ll do fine without me.”

  Kyle kissed Marshall passionately, pulling him inside of the apartment and closing the door behind them. “I’m proud of you too, Marshall. It’s a hard thing to do to follow your heart. Especially when everyone is expecting you to do something else. I’m proud of you for putting yourself first for once.”

  As the evening rays shone through the window of Kyle’s apartment, Kyle led Marshall to the large bed at the far wall of the studio apartment. It was the first moment they could truly be together. Kyle pulled the rugby jersey over Marshall’s large, muscular torso as Marshall straddled him on the bed. Marshall leaned in for a soft, delicate kiss. He caressed the side of Kyle’s face. “I’ve waited so long for this moment,” Marshall said. Kyle felt butterflies in his stomach. He could finally be with Marshall in the way he wanted to.

  ***

  Kyle awoke in the night, his arm still wrapped around Marshall’s naked waist. They were tangled in the duvet, spent but happy from the night together. Kyle watched the silhouette of Marshall’s handsome features in the moonlight, and saw the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed peacefully. It was almost too good to be true that Marshall was sleeping next to him.

  He stood up from the bed as quietly as he could, and looked at his phone. The message signal was flashing, and Kyle decided to check the messages from Paul which he had ignored earlier. He read through the words of encouragement from Paul; Paul was surprisingly thoughtful for a machine. Kyle opened Paul’s mobile interface and typed in a message as he crept to the privacy of the bathroom so that he wouldn’t disturb Marshall’s sleep, and he sat down on the rim of the bath. Thank you for helping me to keep Marshall safe, Kyle entered into Paul’s interface.

  He was caught off guard by Paul’s response: Incorrect. Marshall de Villiers is still predicted to have a serious injury.

  Kyle typed in furiously: What do you mean? The match is over. What kind of injury? What will happen to him? When will this injury take place?

  Paul responded: Injury predicted for today. 143,285 pages of data relevant to your question. Would you like me to send this to a remote printer?

  Kyle sighed and shook his head. Despite all of his brilliance, Paul was still a work in progress. Kyle heard Marshall stirring in the room next to him, and put his phone down on the shelf next to him. Maybe Paul was just seeing data from the match. Regardless, Kyle resolved to keep Marshall safe. He wouldn’t let Marshall out of his sight for the entire day. They would stay locked up in that flat together. Kyle was sure that they could find some fun ways to keep themselves busy…

  He crawled back into bed with Marshall, squeezing him tightly, determined to never let him go.

  Chapter 28

  The warm morning sunlight was gently shining on Kyle’s face through the slightly separated curtains of hanging over the window of his apartment. He smiled contentedly as he awoke, and reached his arm over to where Marshall had been the night before. But something was amiss: Marshall wasn’t there. Kyle’s eyes shot open and he saw the bed empty next to him. There was a note on Marshall’s pillow: Good morning, handsome. I just ran down to Villier Street to grab us some coffee and croissants. I’ll be back before you know it.

  Kyle looked around the room to see the gym bag in the corner with Marshall’s rugby gear scattered next to it. He must’ve had a change of clothes in there, Kyle thought. Kyle stretched his arms above his head, feeling more refreshed than he had in a long time. He had spent a perfect night with Marshall. He felt like he was in a dream. Just a day before, everything in Kyle’s life had felt completely out of his control. He couldn’t see a way out. And now, he was waiting to get breakfast in bed from Marshall. His Marshall.

  Kyle slowly slinked out of the bed and pulled on some pants. He could hear the sounds of the busy streets below his apartment. Some voices were singing out the Ridgemont anthem; the rugby team must’ve won after all. Kyle smiled and walked over to the kitchen, still bare-chested, to pour himself some water. He pushed his hand through his thick, disheveled hair as he sipped on the glass of water. He knew that it would be a while before he descended from cloud nine, and he was ready to savor every moment. Finally, Kyle walked over to the closet next to his bed and pulled on the first t-shirt he found, the red one he liked so much. He needed a shower, but he decided that he would wait for Marshall to return first; maybe they could shower together…

  Just as Kyle sat down on the bed again, wondering what was taking Marshall so long, he heard a sound that sent chills down his spine and made his blood run cold. There was a loud bang right below Kyle’s window, followed by a chilling scream. Something terrible had happened.

  Kyle didn’t even have time to form a thought. He ran for the door, not even stopping to get his shoes. He rushed down the stairs leading to the front entrance of his apartment block, and pushed out of the door into the bright light of day. There, on the street right in front of his flat, a large crowd had gathered next to a delivery van. As Kyle pushed through the crowd, he heard people asking: “Is he okay?” and “What happened?” Kyle’s heart was beating so fast and hard that it felt like a jackhammer pounding into rock. There was one thing he hoped, wished that he wouldn’t find in the center of the crowd. He finally reached pushed through and fell to the ground as soon as his worst fears were confirmed. On the ground, next to the delivery van, was Marshall. By his side there were two spilled cups of coffee and a brown paper bag, no doubt carrying the breakfast he was bringing to Kyle. His eyes were closed, and his body was sprawled across the sidewalk. As Kyle knelt by his side, looking for any signs of life, he felt his whole world collapse in an instant.

  The driver of the van pushed through the crowd and spoke frantically, his voice high and apologetic: “I just looked away for an instant! I don’t know what happened! There was a dog in the road and I had to swerve. I didn’t see him!”

  Kyle ignored the driver’s words, holding Marshall’s hand, and whispered to Marshall through tears: “Please be okay. Please, please, please. I thought you were safe. I thought I could keep you safe. Please open your eyes and tell me that you’re okay.” Kyle felt the sobs pulsate through his entire body. The look on Marshall’s face, the vacant, peaceful expression, was horrifying. Kyle couldn’t stand the thought of losing Marshall just as they had finally found each other, just as they were ready to work through everything to be together. Kyle did his best to be careful with Marshall, trying not to move him. A woman next to Kyle put her hand on his shoulder and said that she had already called an ambulance, that Kyle shouldn’t lose hope. But everything felt hopeless in that moment. Was it really that simple? Was there no way to change the future, to rewrite destiny? Were Paul’s predictions so final that even when Kyle prevented the danger of the rugby match, fate had a way to catch up to them so soon afterwards?

  Kyle whis
pered in Marshall’s ear: “There was something that I didn’t tell you. The reason I thought that I could save you was because there was one thing that Paul couldn’t predict, one variable that was still beyond his power to make sense of. That variable was love. I thought that if I loved you enough, I could protect you. I’ve fallen in love with you, Marshall, and I can’t lose you now.”

  Everyone at the scene went completely quiet. Only the sound of Kyle’s sobbing rang through the streets. The heavy, heart wrenching heaving made everyone around them stare in silence. Kyle looked once again at the peaceful face of the motionless body in front of him. Could it all end like this? More quietly, so that it was only shared between himself and Marshall, Kyle whispered: “I’m sorry that I failed you.”

  Kyle leaned in to give Marshall a soft kiss on his cheek. He rested his face against Marshall’s, feeling the warmth there. Within a few seconds, Kyle could hear the sound of the emergency services in the distance. Something against his cheek was tickling him, and for a second Kyle thought nothing of it, but then he pulled his face away from Marshall’s. He could see movement! Marshall’s eyelashes were flickering, and he was groaning softly.

  “Marshall? Marshall?” Kyle called out. “Are you okay?”

  Marshall did not respond for a long time, and the entire crowd was still completely silent, waiting eagerly to see what would happen. A soft, groggy voice emerged from Marshall’s lips: “Ouch…”