A Lover's Worth (Spawn of Darkness Book 3)

by S. A. Parker

  Goddammit, being in heat is hard work.

  I’m surprised Aero hasn’t mentioned anything yet, he’s the only one privy to my non-stop internal vomit. He doesn’t even seem pissed about everything that’s happened since we last spoke …

  The wind shifts—just slightly, though it’s noticeable for anyone with a keen sense of, well … everything.

  Aero sniffs the air with a furrowed brow. “What’s that smell?” The wind shifts again, and his eyes fucking widen, gaze landing directly on me.

  My face heats. “You didn’t know?”

  My Dawn God stands, and fucking explodes. Metaphorically. “No, I didn’t fucking know! You’ve cut us all off! We’ve been in complete fucking silence; too afraid to make a move for fear we’d lose your trust forever!”

  I stare at him, wide eyed and blinking. Well then … I guess they really do care about me.

  “Are you in fucking heat?”

  Shiiiiit.

  I look around the table—noting Sol, Aero and Kal are surging with energy, their chests wide and heaving, wings poised behind them ready to propel my Gods forward should I expose my randy uterus. Perhaps if I ignore the ‘heat’ comment, it’ll disappear altogether.

  “What do you mean I ‘cut you all off’?” I croak.

  “Fuck this,” Aero snaps, eyes darkening. He strides towards me, only to be stopped in his tracks by a growling Drake who looks poised for battle.

  “Let me pass,” Aero growls. “I need to fucking smell her.”

  “Easy, Dawn ... you’ve already shown you can’t control yourself around her.” They’re up in each other’s faces, like dogs threatening to scrap over a rotting carcass.

  I put my face in my hands and groan.

  “And you can? Why the fuck does your scent have traces of hers in it, Drake?”

  Ahhhh fuck …

  I look up to catch Aero’s gaze flick from my neck to Drake’s.

  “You fucking mated with her? After everything you did to stop her from mating with me first? Un-fucking-believable!” Aero pushes forward, putting his forehead to Drake’s and growling like a rabid beast, his wings flared to their full span. “Was she in heat when you fucked her? Did you put your fucking seed in her? You know she’s not ready for that shit!”

  My randy uterus thinks otherwise, but we’re ignoring her.

  “No, Dawn. I’m fairly certain I didn’t impregnate her, even though she was fucking begging me to.”

  I groan again.

  Holy fucking Sun Gods, this is not going according to plan.

  They start bickering in a language I recognise, but don’t understand. It’s the same ancient tongue I spoke on the day I summoned them accidentally, when all I really wanted to do was jump off that goddamn cliff to escape this fucked up world. Now I’m standing here, wearing a chastity belt to protect my salacious uterus, trying to placate my four Sun God boyfriends into a consensual and feasible reverse harem situation while I’m in fucking heat. This is about as fucked up as it gets.

  I frown, feeling a force pushing against my body … like it’s trying to gain purchase, but it keeps slipping off. I shift my attention to Sol, who’s watching me, as still as a fucking statue. Every muscle in his body is tensed, his canines long and lethal.

  He clears his throat, then shifts his attention to the table in front of him.

  Weird.

  I thought he’d be the one arguing with Drake for mating with me. I’m glad he’s not. Something tells me this island wouldn’t last long if they were.

  Kal stands, takes three steps towards me, and pauses. I know I should be scared of him, considering my lady bits are screaming to be doused in jizz, and Drake did say my vagina smells super good right now. But that’s not the point. Kal’s still supposed to be in my sin bin, but I just can’t bring myself to move away. He did give me two days of blissful happy web, after all …

  He opens his arms out wide. “Little Dove?”

  Yeah, okay, only because that makes me want to cry. Fucking hormones. I tumble into his arms and my wings snuggle into my back, allowing his to wrap around me—thick black feathers caressing me in all the right places. I nuzzle into his chest, allowing my body to sink against his as he shelters me from the lashing wind. His wings are so much bigger than mine, and being wrapped in them? It feels like home …

  Yeah, that’s precisely what it is.

  Home.

  Kal sighs. “There she is … fuck.” He gestures to his heart, “It’s been empty here, not being able to feel you.” I sigh, nuzzling further into him while he takes a deep whiff of me. “Dell … you are in fucking heat!”

  I groan, my body pressing into him even as my mind screams at me to peel away. I barely notice his grasp tightening, but then he lets me go, wings uncurling while he steps back in stoic, stiff movements. His eyes are black and glazed over, muscles twitching and he’s frothing at the mouth through clenched teeth; his canines long and lethal.

  Wow, really glad I’m wearing that chastity belt right now, because I’m pretty sure he’s frothing over the scent of my superb smelling vagina.

  “Can you hold two?” Drake yells, and it takes me a moment to realise he’s talking to Sol, who’s standing on the table now, red faced, his brow dappled with sweat.

  “I can barely hold Kal, he’s fucking lost it.”

  What the hell’s going on? Are Drake and Sol communicating like adults for once?

  Drake’s on the ground keeping Aero pinned, thrashing beneath him like a semi-contained beast.

  Fucking hell.

  I drag in a deep whiff of the air about me, scenting a plethora of male arousal. Pretty impressive considering the fierce wind gusting around us.

  Honestly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about, I smell normal to me. This is ridiculous. I knew babysitting these guys was going to be a challenge, but we’ve just reached an all-time low on that front.

  I sigh and walk to the edge of the rock, then turn to face my unruly Sun Gods, ripping my dress to just above the waist as I do so, which catches all their fucking attention.

  “I’m wearing a chastity belt, okay?” I signal in the general area of my uterus. “This is out of bounds. Yes, I’m in heat. Yes, I mated with Drake. No, it wasn’t while I was in heat. No, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to mate with the rest of you. I know I’m being greedy, and it may be exhausting, but fuck it—I think I’m qualified enough to handle the workload. Now, let’s all sit down around that table on those teeny tiny stools and talk about this like adults, or else I’ll go hang with the megalodons who may or may not like the taste of white fucking wings!” I’m panting, because hormones are hard work. But my Sun Gods have stopped scrapping and are looking at me like I actually made sense to them. Thank fuck.

  Slowly, they make their way back to their seats, hissing occasionally and watching each other sideways. Still, I count this as progress.

  I glance down at my chastity belt … I thought it would be the thing to cause the drama. Turns out, it did the exact opposite. Glancing at Drake, I give him a little smile. He nods, and that tether connecting us pulses with light.

  Aww, I think we’re strengthening our bond. Go us.

  I walk towards my seat, but don’t sit down. At least when I’m standing, I’m actually looking down at them on those little stools, and it makes me feel like I have the upper hand … sort of.

  “Why can’t you hear me anymore?” I ask Aero, who’s pouting.

  He shakes his head, running his hands over his face. “You cut off from me the moment you fucking sin-binned me. I haven’t been able to hear or feel you at all. I could tell you were still alive, but my energy kept hitting a wall. Like you didn’t want me.”

  Oops. Probably why none of them slept. I guess that means they really do care. I pan my vision around the table, each of them lacking colour and high on frustration, with taut jawlines and crumpled brows. Must’ve been pretty shitty seeing their girlfriend run off to mate while they sat in the sin bin thinking I didn�
�t want them. Though I’m not sure how I cut them off in the first place.

  “Am I broken? Why can’t you reach me anymore?”

  “I can now,” Kal remarks.

  “I never stopped being able to.” Drake tosses in his token’s worth, which causes the rest of them to hiss.

  I throw him a ‘don’t go there’ look.

  “We know that, fucker,” Aero snaps.

  “Guys …"

  “Not my fault you fucked up,” Drake growls.

  I sigh. Yeah, we fucking went there, didn’t we?

  “Do you want to take this to the air, dickhead?”

  How did they survive all these years without a woman to keep them from killing each other? That’s what I want to know.

  “Want me to pulverise your insides, Dawn? I can tell you now, it won’t fucking tickle!”

  “Stop!”

  I’m really surprised when they stop their bickering and actually listen. I look at Kal, slumped on his stool with his arms crossed. “Can’t you just ‘happy’ them?”

  He flicks his gaze to me and shakes his head. “Too much energy. It’s better if they just get it out of their systems. That’s what I’m trying to do.” He’s trembling, biceps wrapped in tightly clenched hands.

  He can’t happy net the others, because he’s barely maintaining control over himself right now.

  Massaging my temples, I wonder if it’s possible to get an immortal fucking headache, because I’m pretty sure I’m getting one now. “Am I doing something wrong?” I ask Sol, even though he’s on my shit list.

  He shakes his head. “It’s the opposite. You’re learning to block us, which means you’re strengthening the muscles required to use your own abilities one day.”

  I frown at him, even though he’s the only one being remotely helpful right now. “But … I don’t have any abilities.”

  “That’s not the case, Dell. I was trying to compel the fuck out of you before and you only batted an eyelid. Could you feel it?”

  “I could feel something. What were you trying to get me to do?”

  “Doesn’t matter now, you sorted it on your own.” He shrugs, then turns his attention to the table top, features etched with concentration, closing off yet again.

  Aero slumps further into his seat, sighing dramatically and capturing my attention. Must be hard for him, he’s so used to being inside my head all the time, and to be fair, I was getting kind of used to having him there. My mind’s a tangled web that will never be completely functional, but with Aero in there I feel like I’m not just speaking to myself anymore. The initial invasion of privacy now feels like a necessary part of my soul.

  I don’t want this space between us. Now that I’ve had time to consider, I understand what he did wasn’t to hurt me—it was to help me gain back my own equilibrium. It was to—

  Aero smiles, his face softening. “Thank fuck for that, I can hear you again. What did you do?”

  I shrug, smiling. “Forgive you?”

  He laughs, scratching his head. “I guess that makes sense. I’m sorry I fucked up.”

  “Sol fucked up, you were just trying to patch the wound.” I look at Sol still staring at the table, and roll my eyes.

  “Drake, you mentioned something about a ‘prophecy’ earlier then brushed it off. You thought I didn’t notice but I forget nothing. What were you talking about?”

  “Idiot.” Sol shakes his head, growling. “I thought we discussed not to bring that up around her?”

  “It just fucking slipped out!” Drake looks guilty, shrinking on his stool, massive shoulders curling forward.

  “What did you mean by it?” I glance at the others, all looking pissed, then back at Drake. “Well?”

  Drake clears his throat, shifting on his seat.

  It’s Sol, once again, who answers … albeit after a super dramatic sigh. “’Gleitz adorn, de mel te heist. Sevana ta lein’—translating to, ‘The sun will rise and fall, the world will love them all.’”

  “This is a bad idea,” Aero mutters.

  Sol blatantly ignores him.

  “Those were the words that bound us to you on the cliff—the words that drew us to you. They speak of our connection with the world and the world’s creatures; of the ebb and flow of energy between us. But they also have a deeper meaning.”

  Yeah, it’s pretty fucking obvious.

  I take a few deep breaths while I freak the fuck out. “So, the way I’m … attracted to you all, it’s because of this prophecy? I never had a choice in the matter?”

  Sol frowns. “Guess that’s one way of putting it …”

  “Is there another? That’s seriously fucked up, like an arranged marriage except it’s not at all, it’s an arranged fucking harem!” Yeah, okay, I’m hyperventilating. This shit is heavy.

  “It’s okay, Little Dove …”

  “No, it’s fucking not!” I run my hands through my hair, fingers getting caught in all the tangles and adding to my frustration. “Wow, I thought I finally had control over my vagina … how wrong was I? This is like a kick straight to the labia!”

  They wince. Yeah, that was probably a bit too graphic.

  “Don’t,” Aero warns, looking directly at Drake.

  “It’s the only thing that’s going to calm her down, arsehole,” Drake growls, returning his attention to me. “Dell, you do have a choice.”

  This dick. “That’s rich coming from the one I’ve mated to for life. You could have shed some light before you sunk your teeth into my fucking neck!”

  “Okay, granted,” he offers me a small smile, “but it really would’ve ruined the moment …”

  I can see his regret the moment he says it, slapping his palm to his forehead, but I jump on that comment like a God sucking leech because I’m a hormonal fucking mess right now. “Ruined the moment? Wow. Just wow. How’s that for thinking with your penis?”

  Yikes, I sound crazy. This is going to turn out to be a lesson on ‘how to lose a Dusk God in twelve hours’.

  Aero’s smiling. “You’re doing a shit job, mate.”

  “Fuck off, Dawn.”

  “Ugh!” I walk to the edge of the rock, from where I may or may not dive in and go swimming with the megalodons.

  Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, I really just need some space. But then Sol’s all up in my face, blocking my way with his big fucking shoulders.

  “There’s a reason we didn’t want to tell you. There are some things we didn’t think you were ready to hear.”

  “I’m not ready for a lot of shit Sol, doesn’t seem to stop any of you.”

  I move to push past the bastard, but he grabs me by the shoulders, halting me in place. I bare my canines, stand on my tiptoes, get right up in his face and hiss.

  Nose to nose, he hisses back.

  I don’t move an inch. I refuse to back down to him.

  He fucked up.

  Not me.

  My beast cracks her eye open. I’m pretty sure she’s not about to bite him on the neck, but I wouldn’t put it past her to bite his cock clean off.

  I wrestle the bitch back down, just to be safe. Let’s not get too hasty here, I haven’t completely set aside the idea of him prodding me with his rod in the future … if he ever learns how to apologise like a good little ten-thousand-year-oldish God.

  “Drake wasn’t lying,” he growls.

  Drake huffs, but I ignore him. He’s one small step away from landing in my hormone-induced sin bin.

  “You do have a choice. Dell … your mother had a choice.”

  Fuck.

  I pull my lip back down over my canines. I never considered that my mother would be closely associated with my Sun Gods … rookie mistake right there. “Please, please tell me none of you boned my mother.”

  Sol frowns. “None of us ‘boned’ your mother, Dell. We did love her though—for the short time we knew her—like the sun loves the soil. She was gentle, pure of heart. She was everything good in this world.” His clears his throat. “Your fath
er was created at the dawn of time, as we were. Your mother, however, was not.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He looks over my shoulder at the others, hesitating. “It means she was young … much, much younger than us. Edom, your father, asked the world for a worthy female, someone to provide him with a strong heir—and he got your mother, Mare. Had your mother, for a little under four hundred years.”

  I can see the shadows behind his eyes, dancing across his soul.

  “We thought he killed her; we just had no proof until now.”

  Until me. Until he forced Aero to claw through my most painful memory.

  I take a step back.

  I want to ask about my parent’s relationship—what changed between them and caused it to become so toxic. Why my mother felt it necessary to cut off her own daughter’s wings to keep me from King Edom Sterling, her mate … and why he fucking killed her.

  I don’t ask, because part of my soul is screaming at me that I don’t have the strength for it right now.

  “So, you loved her …”

  Sol nods, studying me intently. “Yes, but not in that way.”

  Right. “And my … seed donor? Did …” I clear my throat. “Did you love him?”

  Sol shrugs. “There was a time, before he fell into the darkness, that we ruled together in peace.”

  “So, you loved him too?”

  “Like a brother, yes. We always will, though the hate now overrides that significantly.”

  My mind jerks to the vision of the man with white wings and black eyes, slicing my mother’s throat, panting through his bloodlust. I shake my head, banging my palm against my temple.

  “Dell …” Aero warns.

  “I’m fine,” I growl, opening my eyes, dismissing that thought from my mind. Walling it up somewhere so I don’t have to look at it.

  I lift my chin, composing myself, ignoring Aero’s penetrating glare which suggests he’s expecting me to fall apart at any second. “So, I’m not bound by some stupid harem prophecy? Because it really does take all the lustre out of it if I don’t have a choice in the matter.”