Four Crows

by Lily White

  “Daddy, just scoop it up in a cup and take it outside where it belongs.” My breath came out on a rattling huff. “Please?”

  Shaking his head again, Daddy snatched a dirty glass from the table and chased the spider into a corner. He trapped it between the glass and his hand, standing up so fast his knees popped. “Open the damn door.”

  Running to pull open the door, I jumped back before my dad could get close to me with that nasty, little thing.

  I watched the old man place the spider in a bed of weeds that bordered the overgrown field, and I hoped the small arachnid would be smart enough to leave that bed before my brothers mowed down the grass that afternoon.

  Peeking my head around the frame of the door, I gripped the wood trim and stood in embarrassed silence as my father plodded back towards the house.

  An angry finger waved in my face, but when I looked past it, all I saw was love and concern behind my father’s blue-grey eyes. “I’ll never get you girl. You care too much about things. And you know what caring gets you.”

  “Thank you, Daddy.”

  Putting as much saccharine sweetness as I could into those words, I watched the old man’s heart melt right there in front of me. For as evil as Jonah was, he still cherished me, his only daughter.

  All he had left in him was another disbelieving shake of his head. “Your brothers and I are going into town. We need food and supplies to fix this place up. You think you can manage to stay out of trouble for a few hours?”

  “I’ll stay inside,” I promised.

  “No answering the door, neither. You never know who’s standing on the other side.”

  My lips pulled into a smirk. “Nobody ever comes here, Daddy. Hell, I’d be surprised if half the town even remembers we live here anymore.”

  “Clean up your language, baby girl. Sweet women don’t say sour words.”

  His steps shook the floorboards as he crossed the kitchen to call my brothers, but I wasn’t quite done with him yet. “While you’re in town, are you going to see a doctor about that cough?”

  He didn’t bother to look back at me. “Mind your own business, Maggie,” was his barked response.

  Taking a seat at the small, round table that stood on unbalanced legs on the linoleum, I picked up a pencil to idly sketch as the three men made their way out the house, their low murmured words indecipherable from where I sat.

  Despite the way my father and brothers doted on me and kept me safe, I was never included in the bunch, always an outsider of their exclusive group. I didn’t need to wonder why I’d never feel included. Theirs was a party to which I’d never receive an invitation, a fact that didn’t cost me much sleep.

  My hand brushed over the paper as I shaded the large butterfly, graphite lead dust a shimmering black smudge over the skin of my palm and fingers. Dropping the pencil so suddenly that it bounced over the table and onto the floor, I sat back in appraisal of the artwork I’d created.

  That butterfly with its shaded wings of one color stared back at me accusingly, a symbol of life that was as sweet and serene as the soft wind I imagined held it in place.

  At least you’re not trapped, I thought. You might have a short life, but at least you live it free.

  Struggling with that thought, I wondered if a brief life lived fully was worth more than a long one lived trapped beneath the thumb of cruel men. Not that they were cruel to me. It was quite the opposite, in fact. But I still felt the strain on my soul for the cruelty they imparted on others.

  Dustmotes danced their erratic patterns through the glow of fractured sunlight in the room. The windows hadn’t been cleaned in years and dirt now caked the glass. The result was a depressive ambiance, a shroud of filth and detriment that I was desperate to escape.

  I’d promised my father I’d stay inside, but I knew he’d be gone for two hours, giving me one to explore around outside.

  Stretching my lean body backwards when I stood from the chair, I winced at the pull of tight muscles along my spine. I was always cramped and crumpled after the long drives between my ever-shifting homes.

  A walk would do me some good, and I knew it. No longer caring about my father’s fears that some monster would snatch me the moment I was alone, I packed a bottle of water and some light snacks to take with me out into the fields.

  A bark of laughter flew over my lips when I realized that the true monsters had just driven away in their beat down red truck, and they wouldn’t be snatching me when they returned.

  I had that, at least. Not having to fear the crazies because I was related to them was one less thing I had to worry about.

  Hauling my weary body out the door, I ignored the way the screen slammed shut behind me and leaned askew as it broke away from its top hinge. The crappy house was falling apart at its seams. I knew just how that would feel.

  Grass tickling the backs of my knees, I meandered my way through the field, settling down on the ground when I found the small stream that trickled its way across the property.

  Lying on my back, I closed my eyes against the glare of the sun, a brief thought crossing my mind that if I opened my eyes and stared for long enough, the sun would burn away the faces of the children and women I knew would be lost forever.

  Some still lay as dust and ash in the field that was growing high and strong just feet away from me, while the others were left to a fate that was concealed to me as soon as money changed hands.

  I couldn’t bring myself to cry for the grown women. But the kids? I’d shed far too many tears for them already.

  Letting those memories trickle away with the slow moving current of the stream at my side, I turned my attention to fantasy.

  Reality was a dark and dismal sequence of days that ticked by with no rhyme or reason. But fantasy was a place where I could live a normal life, where I had friends, a boyfriend, and a future that didn’t include hiding in the shadows of society.

  What would that be like? I thought. Never having to hide?

  It was a question that would never be answered. Even when my daddy died, I’d be lucky if my brothers ever let me out of their sight. I shuddered at the thought, memories creeping in of all the times I’d caught Finn standing in my doorway at night while he thought I lay sleeping. Without my father alive to protect me, would Finn finally cross the threshold into my room?

  Longing for just one glimpse of something beyond the life I knew, I imagined the feel of soft lips on my own. From movies I’d seen and books I’d read, I knew that when two people kissed, love would fill their hearts. I couldn’t believe that love was as warm as the books described it, but I knew the lust had to be real because I felt it.

  Images of the characters played through my mind. The description of the way hands felt on a woman’s body brought my own palms scrubbing up my abdomen, tracing the line of my rib cage.

  It would be so sweet, so right, so pure if I could ever find it. Fighting against the crushing reality of the life I’d lived, I dreamed of new beginnings with a man that made me feel something other than the sickening guilt and crushing fear that was hardwired into my young mind.

  Slipping my fingers beneath the hem of my shirt, I pushed the material up higher, revealing my skin to the scorch of sunlight, the bottom of my breasts to the whisper of wind that brushed across my body.

  One finger tracing the shape of my nipple, I opened my mouth to release a breath filled with the desires I kept trapped inside.

  Another hand crept towards the waistband of my shorts in search of that sweet spot I’d read about, but had never been lucky enough to find. Pulling the button free, I opened the zipper, the thin cotton of my panties soft beneath my touch.

  And just as I slipped my hand down farther, a stick snapped within feet of me, my body going still after the sudden sound made me jump.

  “Not sure when they came back,” Norm Granger mumbled, a thick wad of tobacco stuck between his lip and gums. He spit out a string of sludge before turning his narrowed eyes back to me. “I assume t
hey rolled in last night, though.”

  Leaning forward against the counter, I lowered my voice so nobody else in the small general store could overhear my questions.

  “Why do you assume that?”

  Casting a sidelong glance towards the large picture window at the front of the store, I watched Jonah and his two sons enter the post office across the street. The old man’s hair had gone full silver since the last time I laid eyes on him, his shoulders withered and strained as he coughed. He looked to be on his last leg, but his sons were still as strong as ever.

  “They usually crawl in on the first day they get back. Not sure if you’ve driven past their property lately, but it’s going to take a lot of work to make it livable again. I’m sure they need supplies.” Another shot of dark sludge was spat into a bucket beneath the checkout counter. Ned eyed me with suspicion. “Why are you asking, anyhow? I didn’t realize you were keeping tabs on the Crows.”

  I shrugged, my eyes still trained on the three men entering the post office. It took them less than a minute inside before they reemerged with a handful of packages.

  “I’m not. I just haven’t seen them around much.”

  Flicking a quick glance at Ned, I forced an innocent smile over my lips. “I haven’t been out near their farm in a while, so I was just surprised to see them in town. I wonder why the daughter’s not with them?”

  Ned huffed out a breath. “Damned if I know. The entire family is a little off. They come in every couple of years, but when a big storm hits the news, they head in the direction of whatever unlucky town got pounded by it. Must be good money because I’ve heard about the shit they buy around here. It’s not cheap.”

  While Ned prattled on, I watched Jonah and his sons drop off their packages into the truck before turning to walk into a local bar. Figuring they’d be inside for a while, I tapped my palm on the counter twice before casually nodding to Ned as goodbye.

  Ned shook his head at my hurried exit and turned his attention away to watch the old war movie blasting from the television behind the counter.

  A sheet of heat wrapped around me as soon as I stepped outside, thin beads of sweat dripping down my temples by the time I reached my car. Where was the girl? I wanted to know. Was she left at the house while her family tied one on?

  Going out to the property wasn’t the most brilliant of decisions, but if I were caught, I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. My curiosity was too much to let go.

  The drive out didn’t take more than a half hour. I was thankful for the quick trip, but also realized that if the men had left closely behind me, they’d be pulling up at any time. Climbing out of my car, I pulled the lever to pop the hood and walked to the front to give myself an excuse for sniffing around the property.

  Lifting the hood, I pulled up the thin metal bar to hold it in place. I wiggled the connector loose from the battery and decided I’d play stranded and dumb if anybody showed up while I was sneaking around.

  With my excuse in place, I trudged across the overgrown lawn to approach a house that was one strong wind away from being demolished. A screen door listed pathetically to the side, the top hinge broken away from the rotted wood. Slapping against the house with every small breeze that blew by, the door practically crumbled in my hands when I pulled it fully open.

  Knocking twice on the interior door, I released the screen and stepped back. If the girl was home, I assumed she was inside. But if she weren’t, I’d take that as freedom to explore the grounds. Nobody answered and I breathed out a sigh.

  Turning to scan the overgrown field, I noticed a small, freshly crushed trail through the tall grass. My eyes darted out to the street. The men hadn’t yet returned home. I followed the trail.

  The path wasn’t too stomped down, which meant whoever made it couldn’t have weighed much. My thoughts went to the girl seconds before I saw her.

  Lying in a small clearing by a stream, she had her face tipped up to the sky, her eyes closed tight against the sun. Black, wavy hair flared out over the ground at the sides of her head. Her long legs were bent at the knees. Held together, they swayed from side to side, a lazy rhythm in the mid-afternoon heat.

  The girl couldn’t have been older than Michael would have been if I’d been home to protect him and keep him safe. Noticing she was beautiful, a sickening thread of attraction surfaced as I watched her. Gritting my teeth, I remembered what family she belonged to, and the thread snapped apart entirely.

  Taking another step forward, I plastered on a fake smile to call out to her, but she moved suddenly, her lips parting on a soft sigh as her hand traveled up her body. I froze before I lowered my foot down slowly.

  I shouldn’t have been watching her, shouldn’t have been lingering silently while she lifted the hem of her shirt. But when the bottom swell of her small breasts came into view, I found myself captivated.

  Never the type to watch women, I wasn’t the type to approach them or talk to them either. That wasn’t to say I hadn’t taken a few to my bed since Katelyn died. But it took ten years before I broke down enough to touch another woman, only because I couldn’t spend another lonely night in bed. The woman had stuck around long enough to warm the sheets after we’d had sex, but by the time I was through with her, the guilt of what I’d done surfaced and I’d kicked her out.

  It was nothing against the woman. It was simply that she wasn’t Katelyn.

  My eyes still stuck on the girl touching herself in ways that had my body reacting, I thought about my wife and son, and it brought my thoughts back into focus.

  I couldn’t want this girl because I hated her for being a Crow. She would have been too young to take part in my family’s disappearance, but that didn’t excuse who she was. That girl represented a group of men who could be the answer to what happened to Katelyn and Michael.

  Teeth gnashing over that thought, my jaw ticked with anger. And as the girl’s hand slipped down to disappear beneath the waistband of her shorts, I stepped forward to purposefully crush a small branch in my path.

  “Who the hell are you?”

  My eyes flew wide to see the strange man standing within feet of me. Younger than my father - but possibly older than my brothers - the man stood still watching.

  I yanked my hand out from my pants and sat up. My lips parted to scream at him, but nothing came out.

  Embarrassment flooded me for what I’d been caught doing, especially because the man who caught me was beautiful for someone much older.

  With brown hair that framed his face in a disheveled mess, and with cheekbones that cut sharp angles across his face, the man stared at me with an intensity that made my stomach clench, every muscle in my body pulling taut as I stared at him.

  His eyes were the stark color of gunmetal and he had a peppering of dark scruff across his cheeks and square jaw. Beyond his looks, there was nothing nice about that man. And I knew it the minute I saw him.

  “You might want to leave before you do something stupid. My daddy and brothers are in the house. They’ll kill you if you touch me.”

  “I’m not here to touch you,” he answered, his eyes narrowed and his voice as rough as coarse sandpaper. Obviously struggling over something, he stood there balancing his weight between his feet.

  My voice pitched higher. “You need to leave.”

  “My car broke down outside your house. I was seeing if anybody was home.”

  “Well, my home is about a thousand feet back the way you came.” Pulling my shirt into place, I glared at him. He hadn’t done anything wrong to me, but I couldn’t shake the tremor of unease I felt just for him being in my space. “What’s wrong with your car?”

  His brow wrinkled in surprise, a smile spreading across his lips that looked forced. “I’m not sure. If I knew that, I wouldn’t be standing here harassing a seventeen year old girl.”

  “I’m eighteen,” I bit out.

  “My apologies.”

  Huffing out a frustrated breath, I planted my palms on the ground
behind me and leaned back on my arms. He really was a handsome man. It was too bad he looked about as safe as the ones who’d raised me.

  “Listen,” he said, “if your dad’s home, do you think he can help me fix my car?”

  I knew better than to admit I was there alone. “What’s wrong with it? Maybe I can help you figure it out.”

  Curiosity arched his eyebrow. “You know something about cars?”

  I found it odd that he didn’t. There weren’t many men in rural towns that didn’t know a thing or two about engines. Maybe he was from out of town?

  A single nod of my head was my simple answer. Constantly being on the road meant I’d had ample opportunities to help my father and brothers work on engines. I’d been turning wrenches since the moment my hands were big enough to grip the tools.

  Whoever the man was, I wanted him gone before Daddy and my brothers arrived back. They wouldn’t be happy to see him on the property and I’d hate it if there were a fight. “I’ll take a look at it, but if we get it running, you’ll need to be on your way.”

  Pushing up to my feet, I wasn’t looking at him when he asked, “What if we don’t get it running?”

  “Then I hope your legs aren’t too tired because you’ll still need to be on your way.”

  Leaving my stuff behind, I approached the man. “What’s your name?”

  He stared at me like he hadn’t heard my question, but eventually opened his mouth to answer, “Elliot. What’s yours?”

  “Maggie,” I answered, my voice flustered. If I hadn’t seen the man blink or heard him speak, I would have sworn he was a statue. No normal person could stand so perfectly still. It was as eerie as a snake staring at you, coiled and ready to strike.

  Caution sparked over my skin as soon as I was within arm’s reach of him. “Are you going or what?” Careful not to walk past him, I spurred him along to take the lead. I wouldn’t chance having him at my back.

  Waving his hand in the direction of the house, he said, “I was going to follow you.”

  My eyebrow arched, distrust a slithery thing along my spine. “I don’t know where your car is. You need to show me the way.”