by Lisa Cardiff
Uncomfortable taking one more step into the apartment, a shiver raced down her spine. “Hi,” she said, the word catching in her suddenly constricted throat. “I heard a lot of noise and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” He waved his hand toward the wall behind her. She peered over her shoulder. “I’ll fix the walls tomorrow.”
Her eyes traveled the length of the wall adjacent to the sitting area. Four fist size holes decorated the previously sparse white wall. “You’re bleeding. Is your hand okay?” she asked, looking at his bruised and bloody knuckles circling the half empty whiskey bottle.
He shrugged, his chair scraping against the tile as he stood up. “I’ll be fine.” Her eyes dropped to the muscles in his arms. The way they flexed when he moved made her heart leap in her chest, both out of fear and desire. “Do you want to watch a movie?” She didn’t want to leave him alone with that strange blank look on his face, almost zombie-like. “I could make us popcorn and—”
“Violet,” he interrupted, his voice rough and soulless, his eyes bracketed with deep lines of pain and disgust. “Now’s not a good time.”
“I saw that woman leave. Do you want to talk about it?” She placed her hand on his shoulder and he flinched as though physical contact hurt him.
“Alec,” she pleaded, circling her arms around his waist. “You can talk to me. I won’t judge you.”
He scoffed. “Well, that makes one of us.”
“Talk to me.”
He tilted his head down, his eyes finally making contact with hers and a shudder of unease skated down her spine. The carefree Alec from dinner was nowhere to be found.
“That woman was my mom.”
She nodded. “What did she want?”
His hands curled in the sides of her shirt and his eyes floated away again. She didn’t think he would answer, but he surprised her.
“She wanted forgiveness,” he answered, his voice so thick she was surprised the words actually made it out of his mouth.
“For what?” she asked, searching his face.
“For everything. For nothing. I don’t know.” He slid his hands under her shirt, his rough fingertips sliding against her skin. She didn’t know if he realized what he was doing to her. He seemed caught up in his own world, but with every touch, small shocks detonated under his fingertips.
“Do you want to give it to her?”
“She’s sick. She has cancer,” he said. The words didn’t sound right, almost fuzzy, but he probably had a lot to drink, more than a shot or two in the thirty minutes since his mom walked out the door.
“Are you sad?”
His eyes sought hers again, driving into her, piercing her with his anger and the heated turbulence bubbling under the surface. “No. I don’t really give a fuck and I think that kind of makes me evil, maybe even eviler than her. Any compassion I had for her died years ago and I can’t find it in my heart to care whether she’s sick, lonely, afraid, or hurting. She never cared about my sister or me.”
“It doesn’t make you evil. It makes you human. You’re hurt and angry.” She sighed. “I don’t know what happened, but maybe she doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. Sometimes a person’s sins are so bad, forgiveness has to be earned, and until she’s succeeded, you need to give yourself a break. Don’t feel obligated to forgive her and invite her into your life just because she asked.”
He dropped his chin on top of her head. His breathing was thick and labored and coated with the smoky, sweet scent of whiskey. It swirled around her with every shared inhalation and exhalation. “Maybe you’re right.” His hands whispered along her exposed waist and around to her back, idly drawing circles. His thick silver rings were cold against her skin and she shivered as goose bumps blossomed under his fingertips. “I’m just so damn sick of all the darkness in my life and just when I think I can escape it, she pulls me back into hell with her.”
Her hands slid up his chest, exploring every detail. She’d been scared to be with Alec before and part of her still was, but something about seeing Alec broken and exposed made her want to put him back together; that was a dangerous thought for any woman to have.
It had been too long, if ever, since she’d done anything out of character and reckless, and maybe she wanted to steal a piece of life. So instead of listening to her lingering doubts and all that common sense her mom pounded into her on a daily basis as a child, she rose up on her tip-toes and pulled his mouth on hers.
When her lips met his, his grip tightened around her torso, his lips claiming hers with bruising force, the metal of his lip ring searing her with a possessive pressure that was almost brutal. It wasn’t a simple, vanilla kiss, but Alec didn’t seem like a simple, vanilla man. He devoured her with open-mouthed, biting kisses, dominating her in ways she didn’t realize existed. He kissed her like he may never get another chance. She could feel his conflicted emotions bleeding out of him with every stroke of his tongue—anger, confusion, disappointment, all swirling together in a tornado of lust and sin. She could kiss him all night.
He lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist, walking her toward the bed. Lowering her onto her back, her legs brushing against the scratchy navy quilt, he pulled her t-shirt over her head, tossing it across the room. She still hadn’t put on her bra after their encounter in her kitchen and she felt bare and a little wild as his feral, dark gaze lowered. His eyes raked over her breasts as his thumbs strummed along her taut nipples and a primal fire raced down her spine like nothing she had ever felt before.
“Violet,” he whispered, his voice rough as it scraped against his whiskey-burned throat. “I know I’m wrong for you and I don’t deserve someone like you, but tonight…” He shook his head. “I really need you. Let me have you, baby,” he pleaded, sounding as though he bared his soul to her.
She trembled, seeing the darkness simmering beneath his eyes. Walk away, she told herself, but her mouth had a mind of its own. “Yes.” She swallowed. “I want you, too.” Freedom came from those simple words. Freedom from the pressures of the Foundation, her parents, and herself.
Not waiting one second, he growled a primitive sound as he yanked her panties and skirt down her legs, leaving her exposed, wanting, and a little nervous. He ran his finger along her entrance, toying with her until she wiggled closer to him. Her breath hitched as he slid his finger inside, both their eyes consumed by the slip and slide back and forth, in and out.
“You’re already so wet,” he murmured, adding another finger, making her moan and pivot her hips toward him. “Thank God, I can’t wait much longer.”
“No, don’t wait,” she half-groaned, half-whispered. Fire was already coalescing in her core and the idea of waiting one more minute to feel him inside of her sounded torturous.
He reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a wrapped condom, and slid it into her open hand as he made quick work of unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down his legs. Naked except for his black boxer briefs, he paused for a minute, his storm-tossed eyes following her movements as she tore open the condom package.
Sitting up, she handed him the open condom, kissing the hard, defined lines of his chest as she hooked her thumbs under the elastic of his briefs, slowly sliding them down his legs, giving her mouth time to explore as much of his chest and stomach as she could. Alec’s body mesmerized her. He looked better in all his naked glory than in any of her forbidden daydreams that had haunted her since the days she found him in the Foundation parking lot. The way the taut muscles in his arms shifted under his tattoos, giving the designs a life of their own, made her mouth water and sadly, she was pretty sure she wasn’t the first woman to react that way to him.
The minute his briefs touched the floor, he rolled on the condom and guided her backwards. When she hit the bed, his body was pressed firmly against hers with his erection positioned at her entrance, sliding back and forth, mimicking the pattern of his fingers earlier. Need licked through every nerve ending in her body and
all she wanted at that moment was Alec deep inside of her, taking her places she’d never dreamed of.
Her heart thundered through her body, anticipating the moment he would slide inside, filling the growing ache. With his too blue to be real hooded eyes holding her hostage, he plunged into her, stretching her, filling her, and all the air exploded out of her lungs, leaving her gasping for breath and utterly winded, but loving every second of it.
Both of his hands cupped her hips, tilting them to the exact angle he wanted, causing pleasure to spiral through her body, and she couldn’t help thinking that he had a lot of practice. Before the thought took root in her mind, she pushed it away, concentrating on the way Alec made her body hum with desire as his mouth frantically and chaotically devoured her with every exhilarating lick of his tongue.
She moaned incoherently with each thrust, the pleasure ebbing and flowing like the ocean, pushing her so close to the tipping point before he would pull back again. This was entirely intentional. From the little she knew of Alec, he liked control and his control had slipped tonight, so he was playing with her, priming her, hinting where he planned to take her when he decided the time was right, and not any sooner. This was the Alec show and she was just along for the ride.
As much as his game made her a crazy whimpering mass of need, she absolutely loved his masterful give and take. He knew exactly how much to give to keep her riding the edge, never giving enough to give her that final surge and never giving her too little that all the sensations fizzled.
“Do you want to come? Are you ready?” he asked, thrusting hard into her and then pausing.
“Hm,” she muttered, not wanting to form a sentence. Talking was overrated. Feeling, on the other hand, was not.
“Say it, he demanded, his body still inside hers, teasing the spot burning for attention, but never quite reaching it. She ground her hips against him and his hand dug into her hips, halting her movements. “I’ll give you exactly what you want. All you have to do is ask.”
“Please, Alec. Please.”
He leaned forward and she felt his smile against her damp neck. “For you, Little Violet, I’d do almost anything.” One deep thrust perfectly orchestrated with a few strokes of his fingers against her clit and she was done for. If anybody asked, she would have sworn fireworks ignited behind her eyelids as her entire body convulsed from the orgasm rocking through her, leaving her gasping for air and completely boneless.
Within seconds, he collapsed on top of her. “It’ll be better next time. Slower. I’ll take my time with you, so can I savor every inch of your flawless skin.”
“That sounds nice, but…” she murmured, her fingers drifting over the cool, damp skin of his lower back, tracing the bumps of his spine. She couldn’t imagine it being any better. Any better and she’d probably die a quick, but pleasurable death. “I don’t know. I think I liked what we did just fine.”
His teeth scored the side of her neck. “Just fine? That’s all? I’ll have to try harder next time.”
“Okay. It was better than fine. It was pretty damn perfect, but I wouldn’t mind having a next time though,” she admitted.
After a few minutes spent basking in his light, mind-numbing caresses, he rolled off her, slipped on his boxer briefs, and walked toward the bathroom. She sat up in his bed, the sheet pulled up around her chest. Did he want her to leave? She didn’t want to push him, but she didn’t like the idea of being hurried out the door, either. With her mind darting between one crazy scenario to the next, wondering what he’d say or do when he walked back out that door, anxiety climbed the walls of her chest until she felt as though she was coming out of her skin.
“Hey,” he said, his voice deep, sensual, and a little predatory as he stepped out of the bathroom.
“Hey,” she whispered back, her heart pounding against her ribs, waiting to hear his next words. She slid to the edge of the bed, her legs dangling off the side.
The bed dipped under his weight when he sat down next to her. “Were you trying to sneak out the door while I was in the bathroom?”
He thought she wanted to leave. “No, she whispered, turning her head to see his face.
“Did I already scare you away?” He smirked, but his voice was flat and his eyes were narrowed, holding her stare.
“No. Why would you think that?” she asked, shaking her head, her voice heavy with exhaustion.
“Because I’m not good for you,” he said.
“I don’t know about that…” her voice trailed off only to be swallowed by the silence.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, placing her head in the crook of his arm as he stretched out on the bed. His hands moved in light caressing strokes along her body until she couldn’t keep her eyes open and she drifted asleep.
An hour later, maybe longer, she woke to Alec’s hands moving all over her body caressing her skin. When her eyes opened, he rolled her onto her back, pinning her arms above her head with one hand, leaving her exposed breasts arched toward him and already pining for him.
“Finally,” he said, kissing her lips and then moving to her neck.
“Finally?” she questioned, her eyes still heavy and thick from sleep.
“I thought you’d never wake up.”
“What? You want me to leave in the middle of the night?”
He flexed his hips into her, molding their bodies together and she could feel his erection rubbing against her entrance. “Does it feel like I want you to leave?” he mumbled as his mouth traveled the length of her neck to her collarbone, tasting her and grazing her exposed throat with his teeth. Each delicate yet burning touch of his mouth sent mini-shocks through her body, ripping her out of her slumber faster than she thought possible and coaxing desire from every cell in her body.
“No,” she moaned, pressing her lips against the delicious muscles of his beautifully inked chest. Not even close, and that was all the reassurance she needed.
With his head buried next to her neck, he rocked against her, her body melting a little more with each movement. “This is all for you, Little Violet,” his said, his rumbling voice reverberating through her sensitive skin, sending chills racing through her body.
The seductive purr that slithered, coating his words, had her heart doing frenzied jumping jacks. “Mm,” she hummed, fusing her lips to his with as much force as she could muster. When his tongue licked the seam of her lips and then plunged inside her mouth, she moaned at the taste of him, her body already feeling primed and ready to combust.
She shoved his boxer briefs down his legs, freeing him, leaving his erection throbbing against her as liquid fire rocked through her core. Lifting her hips, she moaned as she slid against his engorged tip. She wanted him inside her so bad she couldn’t find the words. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she tried to pull him inside her.
“Condom,” he said, his voice rushed as he pushed off her, reaching for a box on the nightstand.
“Right, condom,” she muttered, her stomach twisting from the realization that her common sense fled when Alec was around. She wouldn’t have given it a second thought if he’d just slid right into her. What the hell was wrong with her?
When he finished rolling it on, he positioned himself between her legs. “Ready?” he whispered, two of his fingers sliding along her sex, massaging her in small controlled circles.
“Yes,” she answered, arching her hips, silently pleading for him to sink into her.
Grunting an encouraging sound, he slid into her a few inches, pausing to push the hair from her face, his eyes burning into her, imprisoning her so she couldn’t look away even if she wanted to, and she definitely didn’t. His dark blue eyes looked black in the dim light of the room, but they were full of lust and need, likely mimicking hers. She angled her hips, trying to force him deeper inside, but he held firm, unwilling to move until he was ready.
Just when she thought she’d lose her mind if he didn’t move, he pushed deep inside and a bottomless moan
escaped her lungs, echoing in the silence of the room. “You like the feel of me inside you, Violet?”
She released a strangled breath, clutching his silky black hair in her hands. “God, yes.” She had never felt anything better.
And then, he started thrusting into her in a masterful tempo that had her panting within a matter of minutes. She could feel her orgasm building with each stroke, just begging to be released. She shut her eyes, concentrating on each sensation, willing her orgasm to come.
“Open your eyes,” he demanded. “I want to see everything when you come.”
Her eyes shot open and he tore her hands from his hair, wrapping them around the metal slats of the headboard before leaning down and ensnaring her mouth in a drugging kiss that devoured her heart.
He pulled his mouth from her, pressing his lips along her face, then he moved to her neck, licking, sucking and she didn’t know what. Every nerve in her body stood at attention, throbbing and ready to tip over the edge as his powerful thrusts became harder, longer, greedier, slamming into her and then he hit the right spot and she felt as though she was flying. Spasms racked her entire body as she screamed in ecstasy. Groaning, his body went taut as he poured his release into her, but never stopping until he’d wrung every last ripple of pleasure out of her.
After a few seconds, she pulled him down on top of her, wanting to feel every inch of his skin pressing against hers. She ran her hands through his thick hair as she felt their hearts pounding against each other.
When their breathing slowed, Alec pushed off her. “I need a minute.”
She heard water running in the bathroom and then it shut off. Seconds elapsed, eventually turning into minutes and still no Alec. She couldn’t hear him moving, breathing or talking, just absolute breath-stealing silence and, oh fuck, she couldn’t do this again and relive the agonizing moments waiting for him to decide her fate.
She slipped out of the bed and found the t-shirt he wore for dinner on the couch. Pulling it over her head, she walked to the bathroom. Before knocking, she leaned her head against the door. Nothing.