Lexington Black

by Savannah Smythe

  It wasn't as if he didn't have money to start again. When he last looked, his severance pay and the proceeds from the house had netted him around seven hundred thousand pounds which just sat in the bank, waiting for him to do something.

  The problem was that he was indecisive and too careful. His flat was shit and he complained about it, but he could be living somewhere far nicer. He just hadn't got round to finding anywhere. And once the money was spent, that was it. He had no means of getting it back, so why waste it on a chi-chi apartment when he could be ... doing what?

  What did he really want? He didn't know. Or did he but he did not want to admit it? His head was full of the sensual, flickering glances Lex gave him, the double entendres, the touch of his fingers. The whole exotic mixture had left him hard and spellbound. In the end, there was only one thing to do.

  Naked, he brushed his fingers against his erection. He had never, ever, felt that way with Sandy, with anyone. It shocked him, how hard it was, and how hard it had been for most of the afternoon.

  He wrapped his fingers around his shaft. He wouldn't sleep until he had blown a load, that much he did know. As his fingers glided up and down his meat with practiced ease, he bit his lip to stop the strangled cry although there was no-one to hear it. No-one but him to witness the dawning of Rob, the hot, confused mess of a man, greedily forming flashing images of two naked male bodies, writhing in ecstasy on a huge bed, satin sheets, the swordplay, the hungry, grasping hands and biting kisses in the hollow of his throat, the greedy pulling at his balls, the slippery joy of warm semen spurting over his chest.

  'Fuck!' He grunted as he came, each pulse sucking the life out of him. He sank back into the bedclothes, his thoughts feverish. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

  He tossed and turned for a while, but in the end, there was only one person he felt he could talk to.

  'Hello?'

  'Geri? It's me.'

  'Yeah?' And then, 'Rob, are you okay? It's past two in the morning!'

  'I don't know. I'm in real trouble, G.'

  'What's wrong?' She sounded worried. 'Where are you?'

  'At home.' He could hear Simon in the background, asking if everything was all right.

  'Yeah, it's fine sweetheart. Go back to sleep.' Movement and the creak of a closing door. 'What's up, bro?'

  'What would you say if I told you I might be gay?'

  Silence, then, 'impossible,' she replied briskly.

  'Why?'

  'We shared a womb for nine months. I'd know you were gay before you did.'

  'I'm terrified, Geri. This guy...'

  'Who?'

  'A customer from work. He totally terrifies me.'

  'Why?'

  'I don't know! I'm confused. My head's all screwed up.'

  He heard her sigh down the phone. 'At least give me something to work with other than "I don't know."'

  'Fine! I've just wanked off thinking about him, okay?'

  'Woah, I think that's called over-sharing, bro.'

  'Yeah, well you asked for it. Like I said, he confuses me. When we were on a test-drive today, there was a buzz between us. It was like he was trying to seduce me or something. And I liked it. That's what I'm saying.'

  'So if you liked it, why have you just woken me up in the middle of the night?'

  'Because he's invited me for dinner tomorrow night. But what if I'm on the rebound after Sandy? What if this is some kind of big "fuck you" to her for treating me badly? What if I'm wrong? How can I reach my thirties and not notice that I might be, even the smallest part of me might be gay!'

  There was silence down the end of the phone. 'Ever had feelings like that before?'

  'No.'

  'Are you sure? I mean, it's okay. You are allowed.'

  'I've never felt like this before. Ever.'

  'Maybe you've always assumed you're straight because that is what society wants. It's a big deal to stick your head above the parapet and say "hey, guess what!" Especially in our tolerant, delightful family.' Her tone softened. 'Don't be scared, bro. Go with it. Don't try to rush anything. Just see what happens. I'm with you all the way, you know that.'

  'Yeah, I know. Thanks, sis.'

  'But if you beat off again, don't tell me about it, okay?'

  He laughed. 'I won't.'

  She blew him a kiss down the line and hung up.

  Afterwards he lay there, with the mantra I'm gay spinning around his head. Had he always known it? Known it and ignored it? Was it just a brief infatuation brought on by extreme circumstances and desperation to get laid?

  He padded into the living room, retrieved his laptop and took it back to bed with him. Maybe the porn test would do it. He Googled "gay porn" and clicked the first site that came up, feeling slightly guilty.

  That old Catholic upbringing, he thought, as he scrolled through images of beautiful, muscled men doing things to each other that he and Sandy had never even discussed. He settled down in the dark. Maybe by morning, things would be a lot clearer.

  ******

  He woke late, feeling refreshed and still hard. He felt as if he had opened up an unexpected box of tasty treats, and he had been given carte blanche to gorge himself on them. Or someone had mainlined Viagra into his cock.

  As it was Saturday, he could stay in bed for as long as he wanted so for the first time in his life, he did. Not since he was a teenager had he jacked off so much. All day he lazed, read, wanked and ate fast food. It was the most blissful day he could remember having for a long while, a real bloke's day. A sensual, greedy, lusty, cock-centric day. When he showered and changed to prepare for his meal that night, his mood was so high it felt chemically enhanced.

  CHAPTER 4 - Life-changing Decisions

  Deansfield House was too classy a place for him to bowl up to the front door in his crappy old Volvo, so he borrowed the R8 instead. Paul was pleased to let him, giving him the keys with a comment that he hoped the lucky woman would appreciate it.

  He had chosen to wear a suit as Lex seemed to be one of those men who would be smartly turned out whatever the occasion. He gave his red Italian silk tie a good sniff to make sure it did not smell like kebabs. He could get away with it, he thought, if he put on some Givenchy Gentlemen as a cunning disguise.

  The phone rang as he was walking out the door. It was Geri, checking to see if he was back in the land of the living.

  'I can't chat for long. I'm going to the Deansfield,' he said.

  'With the Audi guy?'

  'With the Audi guy.'

  Immediately, he could tell her radar was working overtime. 'The one who terrifies you.'

  'Yeah, but ...'

  'So is it a date?'

  'I don't know.' He could feel his face growing pink.

  'It obviously is because you're blushing. And don't lie because I'm your twin and I know these things. A gay man asks you for dinner and you say yes. You're either totally fucking confident in your heterosexual status or you're looking to score.'

  'It's prawn cocktail and steak. Let's not over-think this.'

  'Oh, I shouldn't be over-thinking this? I wasn't the one who interrupted your fucking beauty sleep boo-hooing about your latest jerk-off fantasy, bro.'

  'Okay! It's a date. I hope it's a date. If that means I'm waving the rainbow flag now, then fine. I'm cool with it. I'm just ... apprehensive, that's all, about how the evening will end. I mean, I'm a virgin, aren't I?' He glanced at his watch. His heartbeat elevated as he saw how close it was to eight o'clock. 'I need to go.'

  'Good luck. If you need to call me later, you know where I am.'

  'Thanks, sis.'

  He blew her a kiss down the phone and hung up. His mood was light as he ran down the stairs to his car. Something about talking to Geri and her knowing what he was doing was reassuring. He did not know what would transpire in the next few hours, but she had his back whatever happened.

  Lex was alone in the hotel lounge when he walked in. He was sitting by the fire, reading the Times, holdin
g a tumbler which Rob presumed held single malt. He was dressed in a sharply-tailored jacket and tie, and Rob was glad he had decided to wear the suit.

  Lex pressed the tumbler into his hand and urged him to try the Jameson.

  Rob hesitated. 'I can't drink a lot. I'm driving.'

  'Possibly,' Lex said with a knowing smile.

  Obligingly, Rob took a sip of the whisky. It was all smoke and fire. He nodded approvingly and handed the glass back to him.

  'And I've got a special treat for us,' Lex said as they walked through into the dining room.

  They were led to a table in an alcove, an intimate space made for two. Other diners talked quietly at their tables. A pianist played Gershwin on a grand piano at the other end of the room.

  'Here we are,' Lex said as a waiter approached the table with a decanter of claret and a bottle. 'I had this brought down from London this afternoon.' He turned the bottle around so Rob could read the label.

  '"Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1982." Good heavens, I am honoured. How did you find this?'

  Lex looked pleased with himself. 'It's called money, Rob. Money, persistence and a very good PA.' He smiled up at the waiter as he waited for him to pour a taster into his glass. 'Let's hope it's worth the price.' He cradled the glass in his hand, warming the liquid, then took a deep sniff, closing his eyes. Rob watched him, transfixed. He wasn't just doing it for show. He was a true connoisseur. He took a sip and thought for a moment.

  'Superb.' He motioned at the waiter to continue pouring. Rob empathised with the look of relief on the young man's face. He murmured "enjoy," and left them alone.

  'Your turn,' Lex said. He watched intently as Rob picked up the glass, cradling it as Lex had done. He went to sip at it.

  'Smell it first. Tell me what you get.'

  Rob obeyed. He let his nostrils flare as he picked up notes of ... 'cedar, I'm guessing. I'm not very good ...'

  'Well done. Now taste it.'

  Rob took a mouthful. It was like honey coating his tongue. It was better than sex. He felt his face flush at the thought.

  'That's obscenely good,' he said, when he could speak again. 'I feel as if I've been groped by angels.'

  Lex almost choked on his wine. He let out a burst of laughter that drew disapproving glances from other diners.

  'I think we're going to have a very enjoyable evening,' he said, and picked up his menu. 'I hope the food lives up to it.'

  Rob expected another Spanish inquisition about his life and he got it. Lex had the skill of teasing information out of people.

  'When I lost my job our relationship went downhill. Six months ago, I came home to find all my belongings on the doorstep and the locks changed. I received our decree absolute two days ago.' Rob toasted him flippantly with his wine glass.

  Lex raised his own glass in return. 'What did you do to piss her off, apart from lose your job, that is?'

  Rob spread out his hands and stared at them. 'Looking back, it was never ... great. She was the prime mover in everything we did. Holidays, big financial decisions, everything, really. I was ... placid. People used to say she was the one who wore the trousers. She accused me of being emotionally retarded and I guess I was.'

  'If I may say so, you don't seem the placid type.'

  'What type am I?'

  Lex considered his question for a moment, pinning him to his seat with those piercing blue eyes.

  'You're the dark horse,' he said. 'You keep people at arms length in order to protect yourself.'

  Rob picked up his wine glass and hid behind it. 'Very good. So what do you do for a living?'

  Lex smiled wryly, acknowledging Rob's desire to change the subject and respecting it.

  'I'm the enemy, Rob. I'm into mergers and acquisitions.'

  'Ah.'

  'I buy companies, asset-strip them, make a lot of money and move on, like an Armani-clad locust. Does that bother you?'

  'Everything about you bothers me.' It was out before he could stop it. 'I mean ... wow, I'm sorry. Not sure where that came from.'

  'Maybe you need to step out of the closet.'

  Rob laughed nervously. 'You don't pull any punches, do you?'

  'Neither do you. I don't waste time if something needs to be said. Well? Am I right?'

  'I don't know,' Rob said faintly. 'Until recently I'd never thought about it. The whole marriage thing, I just fell into it. It was expected, you know? I have a huge family and they were all so excited when I met Sandy. I was the golden boy, the great white hope. Now I'm living above a kebab shop but it's better than living in a huge house I can't afford with a woman who looks down on me. She never forgave me for not trying to get back into investing, but I only ever went into it for the money. It wasn't something I enjoyed doing.'

  'Are you happy doing what you do?'

  That was a tough one. He loved working with Paul. It was easy and comfortable. Safe but unexciting. He was thirty-five years old, too young to be mouldering away with a lot of old men in a provincial town in the middle of nowhere.

  'I guess that answers my question,' Lex said.

  'Paul is great. Radleys is a wonderful place. But I'm there twenty years too early, if you see what I mean.'

  'I do.' Lex looked thoughtful. 'So what are you going to do about it?'

  'I don't know, to be honest.'

  'It sounds like you need some motivation.'

  'I know. Motivation and confidence. Two qualities that haven't been in great supply for a long time.'

  The waiter approached with two elegant plates of venison medallions, balanced artfully on a disc of mustard mash and pooled in fragrant gravy. As he put it on the table in front of them, Lex leaned forward, closed his eyes and inhaled.

  'God, that smells good.'

  'It looks divine.' Rob picked up his knife and fork and began to eat. For a while they ate, uttering not much more than appreciative noises. The venison was tender and melted in the mouth.

  'Maybe this is the time for you to start writing again,' Lex said suddenly. 'I downloaded your book last night. It isn't my kind of thing but you can definitely write.'

  Rob lowered his knife and fork. 'Thank you. Apart from Geri, you're the only one who thinks so.'

  'You mean, I'm the only other one who's read it. Maybe you should try a more accessible genre. Steampunk is probably a niche market, as far as I can see.'

  'Well, I am working slowly on something else, based on my family. My father died when I was fifteen. He was the Head of a local boarding school when he committed suicide.'

  Lex stopped eating. He had gone slightly pale. There was a tremor in his hand as he picked up his wine glass.

  'I know,' Rob said ruefully. 'Hideous, isn't it? My mother was ashamed, being a staunch Catholic. She forbade us to speak of him from that day. All I have is the grandfather clock and some stuff I stole from his study before my mother had it emptied. She burned all his photos and books. It was as if she wanted to wipe him off the face of the planet.'

  'Do you know why he did it?'

  'Not really. There was some kind of scandal but it was hushed up. I found out later he was gay.'

  Lex dropped his fork with a clatter. 'Fuck, sorry,' he muttered.

  'He always seemed so melancholy, despite having a great career, wife and kids, a huge house. Don't get me wrong, he was a wonderful father and that's why I had such a hard time with Mother destroying all those memories of him.'

  'So he killed himself because he was gay? In 1995 that seems kind of extreme.'

  Rob stared at him. 'How do you know when he died?'

  Lex regarded him carefully. 'You told me just now.'

  'No, I didn't.'

  'Yes, you did. You said you were fifteen when he died. You're thirty-five now so it isn't that difficult to work it out, even for a dumbass like me.'

  'I didn't tell you my age either.'

  'Actually, you did. "I'm thirty-five years old, too young to be working with a lot of old men." They were your very words just now.'
r />   Rob blinked and shook his head. He was definitely losing it. He could remember thinking it but hadn't been aware of saying it out loud. The wine was going to his head.

  'Yeah, sorry. I had forgotten. And yes, it does seem extreme to kill yourself because of your sexuality, but think about it. He would have lost everything if the truth had come out.' He gestured helplessly. The topic of conversation was turning too dark. Talking about it made him sad and that made him drink more. 'Anyway, that's it. All very miserable and sordid. I guess the book is my way of exorcising the past but even if I knew the truth, I'd prefer to keep the story as fiction. That way I can inject the emotion whilst keeping the truth at arm's length.'

  'That sounds like a very good idea.'

  Lex sounded as relieved as Rob felt to move on to other subjects. They finished their main course and, after not much persuading on behalf of the waiter, perused the desserts. Rob learned that Lex had been at Princeton, and had given up his Business degree halfway though to live on a California beach and teach other wealthy kids how to windsurf.

  'Then Dad got sick and I was called back to Manhattan.' There was a bitter twist to his mouth as he said it.

  'Must have been quite a shock to the system.'

  'Yeah. I knew how the corporate world worked. Dad made sure of that. He never forgave me for jacking it all in to be a beach bum, as he saw it. Having a stroke was his form of revenge, I reckon.'

  'I'm not sure anyone who's had a stroke would agree with that.'

  The flicker in Lex's eyes told Rob he had touched a nerve. 'Anyway, I came here to close a deal and succeeded, so that should please the old bastard.' He toasted Rob with his wine glass and drank from it.

  'What kind of deal?'

  'We've just taken over one of your local transport companies. Not a very big one, but the assets are useful.'

  'It's not the Eaves Group, is it? I know they've been fighting a hostile takeover for the last couple of years.'