Mail Order Bride: Westward Christmas Novel (Montana Mail Order Brides, Book 11)

by Linda Bridey

  Sasha wanted to protest. She wanted to tell him that she was ready, past the point of ready. It was partly true. Her body was ready and was telling her at that moment it was, but her mind and heart weren’t. Sasha cursed her indecision and tears of frustration formed in her eyes. She stood up and went over to the fire.

  “Please saddle my horse,” she said with her back towards Ben.

  “Sasha, I’ll take you. I didn’t unhitch the buggy yet,” Ben said.

  “Why not?”

  Ben sighed. “I had a feeling that you might be having second thoughts.”

  “I don’t want to you to take me home. Please saddle my horse,” Sasha said. She was trying to stay calm so she didn’t embarrass herself any more than she already had.

  “I don’t want you riding home alone—”

  Sasha spun around and snapped, “I guess if I can make it to Wyoming by myself, I can ride to the hotel from here. I am capable, Ben. I realize that men don’t believe women can do things for themselves, but we actually can!”

  Ben’s only reaction was to raise an eyebrow. He regarded her silently for a few moments and then said, “If you can do things for yourself, then saddle your own horse, Sasha.”

  Sasha drew in a breath and nodded. “You’re absolutely right, Ben. Goodnight. Thank you for a pleasant evening.”

  “Sasha—”

  “No! Leave me be!” Sasha said, and left the apartment.

  Ben fretted about the situation and stood out on the stairs landing debating if he should go down to make sure she was all right or not. He cursed his sharp tongue. Then Sasha rode Ingrid from the stable and galloped around the side of the building and away into the night. Ben went back inside and knew that he would have no sleep that night.

  Chapter Twelve

  The day after Thanksgiving, Sammi rode furiously down the trail to the Lakota camp. She announced herself and went on through to the camp. She didn’t bother with stirrups as she jumped down from her horse and dropped the reins. Stomping through the camp, she gave only the briefest of greetings to those who waved or spoke to her. She was a woman on a mission and there would be no slowing her down.

  She made her way to He Who Runs’ tipi, but no one was home. She kept going until she saw a group of braves on the far side of the clearing. She recognized her target and stalked him. When she was right behind him, she tapped Reckless on the shoulder. The brave turned and Sammi cold-cocked him. All the force of an enraged mother was behind her blow and Reckless spun around and dropped to the ground.

  Sammi wasn’t done, however, and kicked him in the stomach. She dropped and grabbed his long hair and bounced his head off the hard, frozen ground. Dazed and unable to breathe, Reckless struck out blindly and caught her in the shoulder. It knocked her backwards, but she saved herself from ending up on her rear.

  It was enough for Reckless to move away from her. “Sammi,” he gasped. “What are you doing?”

  She’d recovered and came at him again. Reckless got to his feet, reeling slightly from her attack. She struck out at his midsection and he blocked the blow, but was off balance. Sammi saw and took advantage of his weakness. She downed him with a well-placed upper cut.

  Reckless was angry by this point and waited until Sammi came closer to do more damage to him. He got ahold of her and put her in a sleeper hold. Sammi reached up and pulled her hat pin from the band of her hat that she always wore. She drove it into Reckless’ forearm and ripped it out again. With a growl of pain, he released her and they rolled clear.

  “What’s the matter with you?” he asked as he held his arm. “Have you lost your mind?”

  Word of the skirmish had reached He Who Runs and before Sammi could make another move, he grabbed her arms from behind and attempted to hold onto her. She whirled around and head-butted him. He wasn’t expecting the move and was forced back. He Who Runs motioned for the other braves to intervene and it took three of them to restrain her.

  “What’s the meaning of this?” He Who Runs demanded. “Why have you attacked my son and me in this way? I thought we were friends?”

  Sammi’s blue eyes blazed and her chest heaved as she said, “He treated my daughter like she was trash. Used her and tossed her aside like she meant nothin’ to him.”

  He Who Runs turned his piercing gaze on his son. “Is this true? Have you abused Rachel in this manner?”

  Reckless said, “No! If anything, I preserved her honor.”

  He Who Runs said to Sammi, “Sammi, let us all go talk about this in private. It is not a matter to be settled publicly. If they release you, you are not to attack again. If you cannot promise this, I will have you escorted from the village and you will not be allowed to return.”

  Sammi looked at her friend whom she loved and yet was so furious with, and then back at He Who Runs. She closed her eyes and willed her breathing to steady as she tried to get a grip on her anger. Opening her eyes she said, “Yes. I agree. We’ll go talk about this. I won’t lay a hand on him.”

  He Who Runs nodded and the three braves let her go. He turned and led Sammi and Reckless to their tipi.

  “Wife, may we have a few moments alone?” he asked Eagle Woman with a reassuring smile.

  “Of course, my husband,” she said, and stepped away from the tipi even though her gaze was troubled.

  The three of them went inside and He Who Runs indicated that they should sit down. Once they were all seated, He Who Runs said, “Sammi, will you tell me what happened, please?”

  With a scathing glance at Reckless, Sammi said, “He broke up with Rachel and she’s heartbroken now. She said that she didn’t mean enough to him even though she loved him and they…” She didn’t speak the words, but all within the tipi knew what she meant.

  Reckless’ eyes grew huge as his father turned his way.

  “No! That is not what happened!” he protested.

  “Are you callin’ her a liar?” Sammi said.

  “No, but that’s not what happened! We never…slept together,” he said as he came up with the correct phrase. “It never went that far. I wouldn’t let it,” Reckless said.

  He Who Runs’ gaze sharpened on the young brave. “Just how far did it go?”

  Reckless was beyond embarrassed and angry. He was furious and would like the chance to even the score with Sammi. “That is no one’s business, Father, and you know it. Her virtue is intact and the reason I broke things off with her is because there is no way for me to offer her marriage. She doesn’t wish to go with me during the winters, and I do not wish to stay here in the years that we do travel south. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us, do you not agree?”

  Sammi drew in a calming breath. Reckless was right. Marriage would be out of the question in that circumstance. She looked at Reckless’ arm where she’d stabbed him. Blood still seeped from the fresh wound. Guilt overcame her. “Reckless, I’m sorry—”

  Reckless made a sarcastic noise and said, “For what? Not asking me about it before attacking me? For humiliating me? For violating our friendship? Well, you won’t get that chance again. We are through. I will not give up my job, but I will not associate with you any longer. You do your job and I’ll do mine and that’s it. No more fighting matches, nothing. I want nothing to do with you!”

  He got up and without another look at Sammi, strode proudly from the tipi. Sammi looked at He Who Runs and said, “I’m so sorry, He Who Runs. For everything. He’s right. I acted without thinking. Will you accept my apology?”

  He Who Runs understood being protective of one’s children and could well imagine his own anger if it had been his daughter. “Yes, I accept it, but please stay away from camp for a little while. You have embarrassed my son in front of everyone and it will take a long time before it is not talked about so much.”

  Sammi nodded and got to her feet. She left the tipi and moved in the direction of her horse. She spoke to no one as she went on her way. Woodenly she mounted and turned her horse back to the trail. Unlike her trip to the camp,
she made her way slowly back up the trail. Regret weighed down her heart as the consequences of her actions sank in. She’d needlessly hurt a dear friend in horrible ways. She was supposed to work that night, but how could she when Reckless would be there? How could she face him now?

  “I am so stupid,” Sammi said. “What am I going to do?” She knew that this would get back to all of Reckless’ family and they would all be angry with her. It was no less than she deserved, Sammi knew. As she rode to town, Sammi’s dread grew with each step the horse took.

  Sasha sat despondently at a table in the Grady House, playing with her scrambled eggs, but not eating them. She wasn’t hungry but tried to eat something because she had a headache. Too much alcohol combined with a sleepless night wasn’t sitting well with her body. Sighing, she gave up on the eggs just as Ben dropped into the chair across from her.

  He offered her a small smile and said, “I had a feeling I’d find you here.”

  “What do you want, Ben?” Sasha said as a blush crept up her face.

  “I’d like to talk about last night,” Ben said. “Can we go somewhere private to discuss it?”

  “All right,” Sasha said as she tried to fight her body’s reaction to his nearness.

  “Let’s go to your room,” Ben said.

  “Very well,” Sasha said, affecting a cool detachment. She felt anything but detached inside but was determined to rein in her emotions.

  Ben rose from the table and motioned for her to lead the way.

  Once they’d reached her room, Ben said, “I think you misunderstood me last night,” as they sat down in the chairs. “You know by now that I want to be intimate with you.”

  Sasha gave him a steady look and said, “Then why didn’t you want me to stay?”

  “Because you weren’t truly ready and I respect you too much to seduce you and make you do something you’re going to regret. I care about you too much,” Ben said and then decided to take the leap. “I’m practiced at seducing woman. I won’t lie to you about that. But that was my past and over the last several years, I’ve been trying to reform myself, I guess you’d say. So while I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone, I love you too much to simply sleep with you. That’s why even though I wanted you to stay last night, I couldn’t let you stay last night.”

  Sasha couldn’t say a word. Her mind kept replaying the sentence where he’d said he loved her. He loves me? He loves me. She looked into his eyes and saw the emotion reflected there. He was completely vulnerable at that point and she admired his courage in admitting his feelings to her. There was no deceit in his expression and Sasha was filled with a sense of wonder.

  Ben gave her a wry smile. “I think I knew it when you were in Dawson before, but I couldn’t or wouldn’t examine it too closely because you were leaving. That’s why I was so angry with Marcus for not introducing us sooner. I didn’t have nearly enough time to convince you to stay in Dawson.”

  “Ben, I love you, too,” she said.

  “Sasha, you don’t—”

  “Please listen to me, Ben,” she interjected.

  Ben’s heart beat faster as he fell silent and waited anxiously for her to speak. Could it really be that she felt the same way about him? Please let it be so, he prayed.

  “I’m not saying that because you said it to me, Ben. Only yesterday I told several of my friends, including Sparrow, of my feelings for you. So you may ask her and the others about it, if you don’t believe me. When I left here in June, I had already mostly made up my mind that I was going to move here. I had nothing keeping me in Lexington and I was so warmly welcomed here, that I didn’t want to leave. I had business to attend to, however. But Sparrow was here and she’s my best friend, plus all of the other friends I’d made.

  “But I confess that after I’d met you, I felt sure we’d made some sort of connection. It was my biggest incentive for moving back here as soon as possible before you met someone else. So when I received your letter with that advertisement in it, I was elated that you felt the same way as I did,” Sasha said as she looked him directly in the eyes. “I never used to believe in love at first sight, but I think I fell in love with you that day at the Grady House when you sat with me while you waited for your food. I do love you, Ben, and that you feel the same way about me makes me happy beyond belief.”

  A slow smile spread across his face and joy lit his eyes. “Come over here and say that,” he said, patting his lap.

  Sasha complied immediately, but as she settled on his legs, she told him with her lips instead of her voice, how much she loved him. His swift response caused her to grow light-headed and her body to respond in ways that it hadn’t in so very long. Ben loved the way she tasted and he ran his free hand over her back while he held her with his other arm.

  Ben’s scent combined with the fierce way that he kissed her made Sasha moan in pleasure. She couldn’t get close enough to Ben. Sasha pressed herself against him and played with his thick, black hair. He was driving her crazy and she wanted nothing more than to submit to him right that moment, to give herself to him in every way possible. Ben wanted the same thing and had they not had a funeral to attend, he would have made it happen, but it wasn’t to be…yet.

  With a restraint he hadn’t known he possessed, Ben dragged his mouth from Sasha’s. “Lord, what you do to me,” Ben said.

  Sasha let out a husky chuckle. “I understand completely.”

  “I would love to take you right over there to that bed, but I don’t want to have to hurry and Wendell’s funeral starts not too long from now,” Ben said.

  Sasha said, “We have plenty of time, Ben. There’s no rush. I don’t want to hurry.” She suddenly felt bashful and lowered her gaze as she said, “I was only hesitant because I question myself as a lover. Maybe the reason that Ken didn’t want me was because I was inadequate. I’ve never been with anyone else, so I have no idea if that was the problem or not.”

  Ben’s heart went out to her and again he felt that cold anger at her dead husband for making her so doubtful of her allure. He shook her a little. “Trust me, Sasha, there is nothing lacking in your ability as a lover. I’m sure of that just by what I’ve experienced of you so far.”

  She smiled and looked at him again. He kissed her briefly and then gently scooted her from his lap. He stood and took a deep breath as he gave her an amused glance.

  “It won’t do to show up at a funeral in an aroused state, will it?” Ben said.

  Sasha laughed and he shared her mirth before they left for the funeral.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Snow swirled in the frigid air as the mourners filled the church for Wendell’s funeral. The sanctuary became packed and a few people had to stand out in the vestibule. Pastor John noticed and spoke loudly as he said the prayers and sermon.

  When he’d finished, he left Joe to come up to deliver the eulogy. Joe had carefully prepared what he was going to say, but suddenly as he stood up at the front of the church, the things he’d written didn’t really seem to fit. He folded his notes and put them in his suit pocket. Lacey wondered what he was up to at first, but when she saw a certain gleam come into Joe’s eyes, she knew that Joe was going to speak off the cuff and directly from his heart.

  “Folks, I had everything I wanted to say written down and if anyone wants to read it later on, you can, but for now, I’m going to tell you about Wendell without all of that. I was nineteen when my daddy moved us here from Texas and I hated it. No, it’s true, I did. There wasn’t nearly as much to do here as there was in Austin and I was bored as heck.”

  Joe laughed. “That was until I met Luke over there and some other people and started having fun. Wendell was a big part of that. I liked him first off and as soon as I heard him play that piano, I knew that I was very fortunate indeed to have such a fine accompanist. I’ve never seen anyone be able to follow me with such ease and instinct. We quickly got to know each other’s thoughts on how each song should be performed and so forth.

  �
�He used to play tricks on me while I was singing, like changing keys without notice and making me sing out of my comfort level. I didn’t realize it for a while, but he was training my voice and expanding my range. He should have been a voice instructor, but Wendell didn’t like to draw attention to himself that way. No, he preferred to stay in the background, to let others shine…” Joe’s throat constricted at this point and he had to take a few moments to collect himself. “He was a humble man, who was always there for his friends. His quiet ways were comforting in troubled times and his advice was invaluable to me and I’m sure to others here as well.

  “No, it wasn’t just his musical prowess that endeared the man to me. He knew what a hellion I was and yet never judged me for it. He never criticized me or made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. He didn’t condone it, but neither did he try to change me. After Lacey and I were married, I asked him about it one time, why he’d never ragged on me about my behavior when a lot of other people did.

  “He just smiled at me in that patient, quiet way he had and said, ‘Son, you had to get it out of your system before the right woman came along. I always knew that once she did, all of that would be behind you.’ And folks, he was completely right. That man was wise beyond belief. The moment I met Lacey, all of that certainly was behind me and I’m thankful every day for my beautiful wife and daughter.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to go on singing without him because he was one of the driving forces behind why I did it. He was my helper in so many ways and it’s going to be so very hard. But if I don’t, if I just hang it up, he’ll come back to haunt me about it,” Joe said, smiling. “He will. I know it. I’ve always tried to make him proud of me and so I have to keep doing what I’ve been doing so that he’ll look down and still be proud. His music is his legacy and since I was a part of that, I have to honor him by keeping that music going. Thank you all for letting me tell you about my dear friend and I want to invite everyone to the Watering Hole for a wake after the graveside service. Please come and share your memories of Wendell with everyone.”