Famous

by Jessica Burkhart

  Volunteering during the holidays was a staple in my house. Both of my parents wanted my sisters and me to never forget how lucky and privileged we were and that so many families barely scraped by.

  I’d found a thread asking for “Holiday Volunteer Elves!” and clicked on it to read the information. The thread had been started by the owner of a local racehorse rehabilitation organization, Safe Haven for Thoroughbreds. This was the organization that all of my friends had donated to on my birthday. The charity took in injured Thoroughbreds who had been hurt during a race or training and were about to be sent to slaughter. SHT also adopted Thoroughbreds who weren’t wanted for some reason or other by their owners—like racehorses who were at retirement age but the owners didn’t want to care for the older horses.

  SHT put the older horses out to pasture to let them live out their natural lives and spend their days grazing, playing, and enjoying their well-deserved retirement.

  Younger horses or those recovered from an injury went through a retraining program with volunteers who had experience with ex-racehorses. The volunteers retrained the racehorses to become suitable pleasure horses. Once the rehabilitated horses were ready, SHT held adoption events and matched new owners to horses. I’d followed the organization on Chatter for years, but hadn’t seen an open call for volunteers until now.

  I reread the information and clicked onto SHT’s website. This was exactly what I’d do for my holiday charity project. If I could recruit more volunteers . . . Carina! She popped into my mind immediately. We’d talked about how she was sad to be spending Christmas at Canterwood alone. I’d already planned on asking Mom and Dad if she could come home with me. Now I had a fail-proof plan!

  I copied the link, pasted it in an e-mail, and typed a quick message to Carina:

  Hey!

  I was already planning to ask my parents if you could come home with me for Christmas. You interested? If so, what about helping me with this project? We’ll talk about it tmrw!

  Xo

  ~LT

  I sent the message, closed my laptop, and climbed under the covers. Hours must have passed before I finally drifted to sleep with a smile on my face. I’d concocted the parfait holiday plan. If I executed everything right, this Christmas was going to be like no other!

  CALLING A MEETING

  ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON I SENT a message to Taylor and Brielle.

  Lauren:

  Taylor & Brielle, can u guys meet me in my room at 5? Taylor, I’m getting permission from my dorm monitor for you to come inside. It shouldn’t be a problem.

  I watched my phone, chewing on the inside on my cheek as I waited for a response.

  My phone buzzed, and I picked it up.

  Brielle:

  I’ll be there.

  Taylor’s name lit up too.

  Taylor:

  Of course. See you at five.

  “Sent it,” I said to Khloe. It was just after four, and we’d finished our riding lesson and had changed into comfy Friday night clothes—yoga pants and oversize sweaters. “They’ll be here at five.”

  “Proud of you,” Khlo said. She pulled on silver Puma slip-ons. “I’m heading out to meet Lex for a movie. I’ll BBM you before I come back in case they’re still here. I want to give you plenty of time to have a private convo.”

  “Thanks, KK. You’re the best.”

  Once I’d talked to her about my plan, she’d immediately offered to go to the movies with a friend. I’d made it clear that she didn’t have to leave—this was her room too. But Khloe had insisted.

  We walked down the hallway together, and I waved as she headed out the door. I stood in Christina’s doorjamb and knocked on her open door.

  “Hi, Lauren,” Christina said, smiling at me. She put down the pen she was holding and motioned for me to come inside. “What’s new?”

  “Not much,” I said. I sank into a comfy chair on the opposite side of her desk. “Okay, actually a lot. I’ve had some big friendship problems recently.”

  Christina leaned back in her chair. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  “It got really bad, and I’ve been talking a lot to my other friends and my mom and sister.”

  “I’m glad you found people to talk to,” Christina said. “Sometimes just talking it out can give you amazing perspective.”

  I nodded. “It did. That’s why I’m here. I decided that I don’t want to spend my time holding grudges and being angry at people. It’s not just that—I miss them even though they did something horrible to me. I want to give them a second chance.”

  “That’s an incredibly mature decision, Lauren,” Christina said. “I’m extremely proud of you.”

  “Thank you. I came to ask a favor. I asked both of my friends to meet me in my room so we could talk. I wanted the most private place possible. Even Khloe went out for a movie so I’d have the room to myself.”

  Christina nodded.

  “One of my friends is a guy . . . is it okay if he comes in my room and I shut the door?”

  Christina rubbed her lips together. “Lauren, you know that’s against Hawthorne’s policy. No boys in dorm rooms, and especially not with the door shut.”

  I slumped in my seat.

  “But,” Christina said, “I can tell this is serious and you’re not taking it lightly asking me. Your friends—both of them—may go into your room with the door shut. Just let me know when they leave, okay? If I knock on the door, I’ll need you to answer, too.”

  “Oh, of course,” I said. “Thank you so much, Christina. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. We’re just going to be talking, I promise.”

  She smiled. “I believe you. Good luck with everything. You’re a smart girl, and I know you’ll find a way to work it out. Come talk to me if you need an ear, okay?”

  “Okay. Thank you.” I got up and left her office.

  Back in my room, I shut the door and stared up at the wall clock. Half an hour. Thirty minutes. One thousand eight hundred seconds. If I didn’t do something, I’d just stare at the clock until Brielle and Taylor got here.

  I considered BBMing Drew, but I’d already told him about the plan. He’d been incredibly supportive. When I’d first explained, he’d been cautious—not wanting me to get hurt again by either Brielle or Taylor. I told him it was a risk that I was willing to take. It wasn’t in my friends’ nature to hurt people, especially friends, and I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt that nothing like this would ever happen again.

  It had been beyond difficult not to tell Drew about my plan to volunteer with Safe Haven during Christmas break. It had been even harder not to tell him the new, bigger part of the plan that I’d thought of one night. But I had to wait. Things needed to be right with all of us before I talked to any of my friends about my holiday idea. Drew had asked me something exciting, though. He’d asked if I wanted to go out with him for Chinese food on Saturday night. I’d said yes in two seconds and was happy to have something fun to look forward to this weekend. The next weekend would be all business with the show.

  Pushing up my sleeves, I pulled the vacuum out of the closet, made a mental list of all the things I could clean in half an hour, and got to work.

  FORGIVENESS . . . POSSIBLE?

  AT EXACTLY FIVE, NOT 4:59, or 5:01, there was a knock at my door. Snippets of all the conversations I’d had with Mom, Khloe, Becca, Clare, Drew—everyone—ran through my head. They’d all helped me get here. Ultimately, it was up to me whether this invitation would be a failure or a success.

  I put my hand on the doorknob. Flashes of Brielle, Taylor, Ana, me together raced through my head. I gripped the knob tighter and opened the door.

  Brielle and Taylor stood apart from each other in the hallway. Brielle gave me the smile that said I don’t know if I’m supposed to smile or not, and Taylor just stared at me.

  Not one of us said a word.

  Brielle shifted from one pink Converse to the other. She opened her mouth, then closed it.

/>   “Hi.”

  Taylor’s voice was quiet, low, but it seemed to reverberate off the hallway walls.

  “Hey,” Brielle said, following Taylor’s lead. His one word seemed to have shattered the wall of silence that separated us all from each other. Taylor looked as if he’d put thought into his outfit—he had a long-sleeve red Ralph Lauren waffle-knit shirt under a wool-mix jacket. He wore clean dark-wash jeans and black Chucks.

  “Hi,” I said back. I looked at each of them before tilting my head to my door. “Want to come in? I think it’s better than having our convo in the hallway.”

  They each nodded and followed me inside. I motioned to the love seat and chair near our coffee table.

  “Feel free to sit wherever,” I said, suddenly feeling nervous. Like I’d never had either of them in my home before. “Anyone want drinks?”

  Brielle perched on the edge of the love seat, and Taylor did the same on the chair.

  “Um,” Brielle said. She fingered the ties on her yellow hoodie. I couldn’t help but like her outfit. She’d paired the hoodie with light-gray yoga pants with a fold-over waistband. The band was rainbow-striped, and Brielle had worked a dozen tiny colored clips into her blond hair, which was secured in a half updo. I’d always told her that she looked great in any color.

  “I’m having Diet Coke,” I said, wondering if that would help.

  “The same, please,” Brielle said.

  “Me too, please,” Taylor said.

  I got us all sodas, and they thanked me for them. Everything was so formal. So careful. As if a bomb would detonate if the wrong word was spoken or one of us did something out of line.

  I opened my soda, Brielle and Taylor doing the same, and sat on the cushion next to Brielle. I turned so I could see both of them.

  “I don’t really know the right way to start this,” I said. “So I’m just going to talk. I have a few things I want to say, and then I want to hear from both of you.” I noticed how Taylor and Brielle wouldn’t even look within arm’s length of each other. “Before I start, I just want to say—you two don’t have to purposely avoid each other in front of me. We all know what happened. By you trying not to look at each other, it only makes things more obvious. I want us all to try and remember how we used to act around each other.”

  Brielle and Taylor nodded. Taylor eased back into his seat a little. Brielle stopped picking at her nail polish.

  “I didn’t ask you guys here to start another inquisition. You’ve each already told me your side of the story, and that’s enough for me. I responded to each of you in the moment and out of anger. Since some time has passed and I’ve had space to think, there are a few new things I’d like to say.”

  I clasped my hands together. “You guys were two of my best friends. I had different relationships with each of you, though they were equally important. When I found out I’d been accepted to Canterwood, some of my first thoughts were, ‘What about Taylor and me?’ and ‘There’s no way I’m leaving Brielle!’ You were both a huge part of my life at a critical time for me. It was a time where I went through a lot of changes and leaned on both of you for support.”

  I took a breath, glancing between them. Both of their eyes were glued to me.

  “If someone had told me three months ago that I’d be in a fight with each of you, I would have told that person he was nuts. What’s hardest for me is not that you two were together, but that you kept it a secret, then lied about it and used Ana to help cover. If you’d come to me and said, ‘Hey, Lauren, we think we might want to go out, are you cool with that?’ this whole thing never would have happened.”

  Brielle nodded hard.

  “I’m over the fact that you went out with each other. You had every right to. I was a student at Canterwood, and I wasn’t in a relationship with Taylor.”

  Taylor took a sip of his Diet Coke, and his green eyes looked back and forth between Brielle and me.

  “Taylor, once you got here, I wish you’d told me. It would have been a hurdle that you and I would have to get over, but we would have. As friends. I need you to really, truly understand that I’m with Drew. You and I can’t go back to the way things were.”

  Taylor cleared his throat. “I hear you. I apologize for continuing to push myself on you, Lauren. I should have been happy enough with the fact that we were friends.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  I looked over at Brielle. “Bri, you started your time at Canterwood with a giant lie. But you came to Canterwood to get a fresh start, just like me, and I wish you’d trusted me enough to tell me the truth. It was a major breach of BFF code.”

  “I trust you with everything, Lauren,” Brielle said. “That was never it. I was furious with myself for what I’d done. I hoped I could keep it a secret, shoulder the blame with Taylor, and make sure you never found out. That was wrong. I’m so sorry.”

  I stared into my best friend’s eyes, and I knew she meant it. We’d been friends long enough that I could read Brielle pretty well. Taylor, too. Neither of them seemed proud, like they’d almost gotten away with something. They seemed depressed.

  “There’s so much history among all of us,” I continued. “At first I was willing to throw it all away because of this. But I talked to a lot of people and got some good advice. Finally, I followed my gut and called you here. I don’t want our friendships to end. If you’re in, let’s take it slow and rebuild them. Learn to trust each other again. Be the Lauren and Taylor and Lauren and Brielle we used to be.”

  Their posture changed. Brielle and Taylor glanced back and forth at each other, then stared at me. Then back at each other again before both shaking their heads, eyes wide.

  “Are you saying—,” Brielle started, and stopped. She had an expression of wanting to be hopeful, but being afraid to be.

  “I’m saying, I want you both to be my friends again. Life is too short for grudges, and everyone makes mistakes. I hope when it’s my turn to mess up that you guys don’t automatically cut me out of your lives.”

  “Oh, Lauren!”

  Brielle was across the cushion in a flash. She wrapped her arms around me, and a few tears dripped onto my neck.

  “I’m so, so sorry,” Brielle said, sitting back as Taylor handed her a tissue from the coffee table. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been miserable without you. I promise my words aren’t empty. I’ll show you that you can trust me again.”

  I reached over and squeezed her hand. “I believe you. I love you, Bri.”

  “I love you, Laur.”

  At the same second, we both remembered Taylor. We glanced at him on his seat.

  Ever so slowly, a wide grin spread across his face.

  “Lauren Towers, I’ve never been sorrier than this. Not in my entire life. For you to have the capacity to forgive me and want to be my friend . . .” Taylor ran a hand over his hair. “I almost don’t know what to say or do. I’m the happiest guy on campus right now. Like Brielle said, I won’t tell you all the ways I’m going to make it up to you. I’ll show you. My life didn’t feel complete without you in it.”

  We stood, and I darted around the coffee table, flinging my arms around Tay. His body was so familiar and his hug comforting.

  “Three-way hug!” Brielle said after a minute. Taylor and I opened our arms and welcomed Brielle into our happy circle.

  GOTTA BE A COINCIDENCE, RIGHT?

  SATURDAY EVENING I STEPPED OUTSIDE of Hawthorne’s entrance door, where a smiling Drew waited, leaning against the iron railing. He looked as excited as I felt about going to Dragon Palace for Chinese food.

  “You look beautiful,” he said, his face lit up by the overhead lights.

  Tonight was a few degrees warmer than normal, and I’d left my coat open to reveal my outfit. It had taken me hours to narrow down the possibilities from my closet. Then I’d recruited Khloe to help me narrow it down to three outfits and, finally, to one.

  I’d decided on a sparkly light-and-dark-striped pink sweater with a ruffled
black skirt. Under the skirt, I wore crisscross-pattern black tights with tall boots that went up to my knees. They were flat, so no worries of tripping. I’d accessorized with a Cartier knockoff bracelet that I’d found on eBay. It was silver and made to look like a nail that blacksmiths used to shoe horses. I carried a cross-body metallic silver purse just big enough to fit money, my cell phone, and student ID.

  Khloe had picked out silver-and-pink dangly earrings. “It’s Saturday night, LT,” she’d said. “You’re going to a place called ‘Dragon Palace’ for the first time with Drew. We’ve got to make sure your look slays the evil beast!”

  The memory made me smile. After clothes and accessories, Khloe had done my makeup. Sheer champagne-colored eye shadow, Lip Buxom gloss from Sephora, a barely there dusting of powder across my T-zone, and a highlighting application of NARS blush on my cheekbones.

  “I had a lot of help from Khloe,” I said. “Thank you. You look great too.”

  Under an open wool coat, Drew wore a black V-neck sweater, jeans, and high-tops.

  “Ready to go?” Drew asked, holding out a hand.

  “Ready!”

  After a brisk walk across campus, we walked inside the welcomed warm restaurant. Canterwood was adding new food places all the time, and Chinese was the latest. I had my fingers crossed for Indian next. The wide selection of food made me miss New York City a little less.

  “Welcome to Dragon Palace,” a waiter said. “Party of two?”

  “Yes,” Drew said.

  “Follow me, please,” the waiter answered.

  I kept my eyes focused on Drew—it would be easy to lose him in here. Candles were lit along every wall, and the overhead lights had been dimmed low. We passed a waterfall with a koi pond, and I peered inside at the fish.