She felt him shrug. ‘It was an explosion. A mortar bomb lobbed into the camp hospital. A bit of white-hot metal gouged lumps out of me. It could have been a lot worse.’
‘Which war was that?’
‘No war had been declared. It was just people killing each other for no good reason.’
She could hear his bitterness, and decided it was better to move on to something else. ‘Forget all that, I shouldn’t have asked. But you’re here with me now.’
His voice was urgent. ‘Maddy, I am here with you now and it’s wonderful but I don’t know if we’re doing the right—’
‘You’re trying to make sure that I know what I’m doing?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, I do. Now, don’t you really want to stay here with me?’
‘Of course I do! But…’
‘You’ve kissed me twice and it was wonderful. Both times we agreed that this was a thing apart, nothing serious, almost a shipboard romance. If you want, we’ll carry on like that. For the moment that suits me.’
He said nothing. After a moment he slipped his arm around her shoulders and eased her back onto the pillow. ‘Maddy, I—’
She laid a finger on his lips. ‘We’ve gone beyond words. There are to be no promises, no confessions, no protestations. Let’s face it, we’re both damaged. We’ve both got pasts that hang over us. For now we’ll forget the past and the concern that this could have no future. There’s just the present, just you and me. And we can make each other happy. That would be so wonderful.’
Then she thought of something, something she should have thought of before. For a moment she was anxious. ‘Last words—do you have precautions?’
He laughed. ‘I stole something from your pharmacy. You have everything needed there.’
He leaned away from her, she heard the crackle of paper. For a moment she lay there, eyes closed, listening to the sound of his breathing. A last fugitive thought—was she making a mistake? But then he leaned over her, his face came down on hers and she closed her eyes.
She wasn’t a virgin, of course, but neither was she vastly experienced. She was apprehensive now, her mind made up but not knowing what to expect. And Ed…She knew something of his character, how determined he was. What kind of lover would he be? Considerate, thoughtful, loving? He rolled onto his side, bent his head over hers and kissed her. A delicate kiss, his lips just touching hers. She had been kissed by him twice already. And the same magic worked as before. What started as something simple became suddenly something serious and exciting. It was still only his lips, her lips, meeting. Nothing more.
She was content for now—but where was he taking her? She was aware of his body, so close to hers and yet not touching. It was exciting. Tantalising. Now he leaned over her, his body above hers but still not touching. She could feel the warmth of him and knew that she had to do something. Reaching up, she slid her arms around him and eased him down so their bodies were now together, fully together. There seemed to be a lot of him. He seemed to cover her entire body, arms, legs, breasts all pressed against him. She felt that her body was owning his, he was paying the same tribute to her as she was paying to him.
They were still kissing. But the kiss was more passionate. And after a moment of bliss he took his lips from hers and kissed the rest of her face, her ears, the corners of her eyes, even the tip of her nose. Then he returned to her mouth again and she felt the strength of his desire as she met his probing tongue with hers.
He stopped, she whimpered, it had been so wonderful. Then he threw off the sheet that covered them. And his lips strayed downwards, touching the throb of the pulse in her neck, the edge of her arm and shoulder, the valley between her breasts. Then, after moments of almost unendurable expectation, he kissed her breasts. She moaned with ecstasy as he took each thrusting peak into his mouth. Her back arched, urging him onwards. It was the most exciting of caresses. She could feel it throughout her entire body, felt that dampness below that told her how ready, how quickened she was.
Now…he wasn’t going to…He was…She sensed his head travel down her body, felt the touch of his tongue in that most secret of places. It made her cry out loud as he moved her towards a rapture she had never experienced before, never even dreamed of. Not long now.
Something told her that his need was as great as hers. Her hands slid down, grasped him and pulled him up to kiss her lips again. And her hips surged against his in silent longing and invitation.
It was so obvious, so perfect, like coming home. He was in her, part of her, they were joined body and spirit. A movement that both of them felt, a joint knowledge of something burgeoning, growing. It was something that could only be done when the two of them were together and then that moment of exaltation as they both cried out their pleasure.
Afterwards there was calm and contentment. She felt she could speak now. ‘You are so good to me,’ she murmured.
‘And you are good to me, too,’ he replied softly.
She slept through the night, the deep sleep of the completely exhausted. Then she half woke; she didn’t know who she was, where she was, whose arm was round her. She only knew that she was warm, happy and safe, and that all the world was good to her. The man next to her would see to that. Perhaps she could sleep a little more and—A buzzer sounded and she was fully awake. Now she knew who, where and what she was. And who she was in bed with. But she was still happy.
Ed took his arm from under her, leaned out of bed and picked up the phone. ‘Dr Wyatt? Of course not, I told you to…Yes, I’ll be there in five minutes. Don’t do anything until then.’
He rolled out of bed, she looked up at him and he bent over to kiss her. ‘Maddy, I’ve got to work but…’
She held up her hand to stop him. ‘It’s OK, we don’t need to talk about it. That way I’m certain there’ll still be some…magic.’
He thought for a moment then nodded. ‘Perhaps that is best. Carry on as if nothing had happened. But, Maddy, I think that—’
‘Off you go! Back to your own cabin.’ She glanced at the clock. They had had just over five hours’ sleep. ‘I’ll be up soon and will come and help.’
He looked at her a moment, then turned to go.
She decided that she could stay in bed for a further fifteen minutes, but she knew she wouldn’t sleep. She felt at a bit of a loss. He said they were to carry on as if nothing had happened. Was that the answer she really wanted? She wasn’t sure.
She thought of yesterday and the time spent without sleep. She had worked harder than she had ever worked in her life before. She had been hounded by her ex-fiancé. She had watched the death of a man who had asked her to marry him. And she had slept with Ed and it had been wonderful. What more could the future bring? She didn’t like to think. But there was no time to think now. She got out of bed.
The work went on. They now had two doctors and four nurses and assistance from the stewards. But Dr Wyatt and one of the nurses were taking a six-hour sleep break. And the work didn’t get any less.
For some reason she didn’t spend much time with Ed that morning. But they saw each other from time to time. She had been wondering just how the two of them would react when they were first working together again. All right, they had agreed to say nothing. But when they met it was impossible. There was an understood acknowledgement of what had happened, a special smile or a brief touch of hands, unrecognised by anyone else. It was only a little but it meant so much to her.
She was sneaking a quick lunch with one of the other nurses when Ed came and sat beside her. He had been insistent that they all have regular meals and had arranged for food to be brought to the medical centre. ‘You need all the energy that you can get,’ he had told them. ‘Eat lightly but eat well.’ And they had done so.
He sat opposite her, took a glass of orange juice and a plate of salad. Maddy felt uneasy as he looked at her. There was an expression on his face she didn’t understand. Like nothing she had seen before. Fear? Horror? But his voice wa
s calm as he said, ‘I’d like you to come back with me when you’ve finished. I’ve got a case that’s concerning me. Penny Cox. Do you know her?’
Maddy shook her head. ‘No. I don’t think she’s ever been to the medical centre.’
‘Probably not. She looks to be young, fit, apparently healthy. But she’s had a splenectomy, the result of a motorcycle accident years ago.’
Penny Cox’s condition had deteriorated, but she was strong and now Maddy was relieved to see that she seemed to be over the worst of it.
‘I think she’s OK now, Ed. I can call you if things change.’
Ed frowned. ‘No, I’ll stay, just to make sure she doesn’t relapse. I’ll be buzzed if I’m wanted.’
‘Well, there’s not too much I can do here. It’s just a matter of waiting. Shall I go?’
He looked alarmed. ‘No! No, I want you to stay. You can…You might be…’
It was then that she realised that there was more to this case than appeared. It meant something to him. ‘Did you know this lady before?’ she asked.
‘No. Never met her before in my life. Never even heard of her.’
‘It’s just that…you seem especially interested in her. I know you’ve done your best for all of our patients, but this one seems to mean more to you than the others, you’re more involved. Will you tell me why?’
It was the first time she had ever seen him at a loss, not been in absolute control of himself. He shook his head fretfully, then walked over and stared down at Penny Cox’s white face.
Maddy wondered if she should walk over to him, perhaps put her arm around his waist to comfort him. She decided not to. Whatever demon he was wrestling with, he had to fight it on his own. But it was hard just to sit there, to know he was suffering.
The silence between them lasted for perhaps ten minutes, during which neither of them moved. And then there was a change. The only sound had been Penny’s breathing, no longer heavy and laboured. Now Maddy felt she could go over to stand by Ed. ‘Penny’s over it, Ed,’ she said. ‘The worst has passed, now she stands a good chance of recovering.’
‘I think you’re right. This one stands a good chance of recovering.’
This one? Maddy thought. Who was he comparing her with?
She took his hand, and led him to the far side of the cabin. There was a bench there where they could sit together. Perhaps now was the right time. ‘You’re to tell me what’s wrong,’ she said, ‘why you are suffering. You’ve given me hints but now I need to know everything. You told me about working in the hospital in Africa but I think there’s more. I’ve already told you my story, told you things about my relationship with Brian that I’ve told no one else. Ed, we have to share. I know it’s hard for you, you like to keep feelings locked up. But it’s good to tell. And it’s not bad to feel!’
He looked at her as if puzzled. ‘Why are you so concerned about me, Maddy?’
‘Because you’re like me—you’re carrying a load of memories that hurt. I’m offering you the chance to share that load.’
He still seemed puzzled, looking at her as if she had not fully understood him. ‘But it’s just not me to talk about things like that.’
‘There are bits of you that I very much admire. And there are other bits that I don’t. This keeping quiet is one of them. Ed, please, tell me.’
He stood quickly, walked over to look at Penny again. ‘Better and better,’ he muttered. ‘Maddy, she’s going to be fine.’ Then, just as quickly, he came back to sit by her.
‘We’ve got a minute,’ he said. ‘This will be hard for me—but I will tell you. I might regret it afterwards but I will tell you.’
Now Maddy was nervous. What was she going to hear?
‘Penny Cox was double trouble,’ he started. ‘Because of the splenectomy she had an immunodeficiency problem and then she caught gastroenteritis. She could have died, but she’s been very lucky. Some few years ago, in a hot and sweaty part of Africa, another Penny had exactly the same symptoms but with a further problem. She was four months pregnant. And she died. That was Penny Tremayne, my wife.’
Maddy winced. Never had she suspected his story could be as tragic as this. ‘So this…brought it all back?’
‘It did. We were in a desperate bit of Africa, I was running a bush hospital. There was an outbreak of gastroenteritis there and it spread like wildfire. The people there were mostly refugees from a neighbouring country and no one except us cared about them. They were malnourished, weak, they died like flies.’ He pursed his lips, as if considering. ‘But we did save some. We did some good.’
‘Go on,’ said Maddy.
‘I had a tiny team of orderlies, not enough drugs, not enough helpers. This wasn’t what I had joined the army for…but there were political considerations.’
Maddy found it hard to ask, but she had to. ‘Was your wife in the army, too?’
‘No. She was a nurse, working for an African charity. When she heard where I had been posted to she pulled a few strings and got leave to come to work with me. I didn’t want her there, but she just turned up and refused to leave. How I wish I’d forced her back!’ He paused and then said bitterly. ‘But there weren’t a lot of volunteers for the job.’
‘She sounds a…fine woman,’ Maddy said carefully. ‘You must have been proud of her.’
‘It’s wonderful being proud of a dead woman!’
For a moment there was raw emotion in his voice, and Maddy flinched. How could she ever have thought that this man was without feelings?
He went on, ‘She had immunodeficiency problems from an earlier illness, she was pregnant, and I was working a twenty-hour day. Then she caught gastroenteritis. A day later we both knew she was dying. I sat by her bed, held her hand and wiped the sweat off her face. We had so much planned together! Then an orderly came, saying there was a major problem that only I could solve. She knew this. She told me to go and get on with my job, there was nothing more I could do for her but I could save other people. So I left her—and perhaps I did save other people. But she died alone.’
He stopped a moment. Then, almost whispering now, ‘I was leaving the army because my father had offered me a job. We were going to come back to Penhally, buy a house and settle down. I was so looking forward to being a father.’
That last sentence was the hardest thing to bear. Maddy knew there was nothing she could say. On impulse she wrapped her arms round him, rested her head against his chest. And, as she knew they would, the tears came.
He stroked her hair, the back of her neck. ‘It’s a long time ago,’ he said. ‘Don’t be sad.’
He was comforting her!
So much made sense to Maddy now. ‘That’s why you weren’t as pleased as Kate and I when the baby was born?’
‘Possibly. But it would be mean-spirited to be envious of the parents’ happiness.’
Maddy sighed, her heart aching for his pain. ‘Ed, how you must have been suffering! All those memories flooding back. How could you bear it?’
‘I was the best man for the job,’ he said. ‘But you’re right. The memories have been…hard, especially seeing Penny here. It brought back all the agony, all the misery and the pointlessness of things, all the long waiting for life to seem better. And it never did. I was in love with my wife, I was enthralled with the idea of being a father and within twenty-four hours it all disappeared.’
His voice altered, became more curt. Now he was once again the professional, ex-military doctor, not used to talking about his emotions. ‘I made a decision then. I never wanted to love like that again, because there was always the chance of loss. So I’ve avoided…emotional entanglements ever since.’
‘Is that why you don’t want to get too close to me?’
‘It is. We agreed that this is just a shipboard fling and it doesn’t count. I’m happy to be with you, Maddy, because I know it will end.’
‘I see,’ she said flatly.
He stood. ‘You were right about one thing. It does help to
tell someone else. But now that’s over. Let’s have a last check on Penny here and then we’d better get on our rounds again.’
So, back to business. There was work to be done, she had to concentrate on it. But she also had to think about Ed. Now she thought she understood him so much better. But did he have to be so certain about how he would live his life in the future?
It was a hard day but by the end of it things were obviously easing off. There were no new cases. More than a few people were still seriously ill but the medical team was coping.
Late that evening Ed called a meeting of all his little staff, thanked them for what they had done so far and said that he thought that things would be considerably better by the next day. The staff smiled. It felt good to know that you were on top of things. Ed went on to say that unless there were any objections they would stick to the same shift pattern. This would mean that he and Maddy would get to sleep for six hours again that night. Though either could be buzzed if there was an emergency.
Two hours later it was time for bed and Maddy met Ed outside her cabin. ‘You look tired,’ she said. ‘It’s getting to you at last.’
‘No one can go on for ever.’
She looked at his unyielding face and said, ‘I’m looking forward to my bed, but if you’d like a tea and whisky first, then I’ll be making one.’
Rarely for him, he made a confession. ‘I was so hoping you’d say that. But I thought it would be forward of me to ask.’
‘I think we two are beyond being forward with each other,’ she said tartly. ‘Will you shower in your cabin or mine?’
‘I’ll shower in yours if I may. It makes it all seem a bit more…intimate.’
‘It does indeed,’ she agreed with a little smile.
So, shortly, they were sitting side by side in her bed again and tonight she hadn’t bothered with her nightie. But she didn’t feel like being too obvious. She tucked the sheet around her shoulders.
Brides of Penhally Bay - Vol 2 Page 26